/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>47997406
In the boundary between reality and fantasy is a room, unreachable to anyone but a few. Inside this room there are seven chairs, each one belonging to supremely powerful individuals. Sitting on those chairs is… no one.

Okina sits in her own wheelchair and Yukari stands.

The Youkai Sage looks to where her companions should be. Okina is busy spying on a couple of fairies bathing (as usual), Tenma isn’t here (a blessing), the Master Builder is probably drunk while making frilly doll dresses (as usual), Kasen is dead (or at least she’ll wish she was once she comes back and has to do all the work she left), the Dragon Sage (not a real dragon) sent to spy on Remilia after her rampage betrayed them and stayed with her, Yukari is here (a curse), and lastly-

“Ugh! Can’t you make a window or something?” The Moon Sage is also here!

(Bigger curse…)

“Well, well, it’s been far too long-”

“Hold that thought for a sec. Is it true you mind broke Yagokoro with some sake?”

She looks side to side, confused. “Yeah, why?”

He laughs. “Oh man, that’s too much.” It takes him a full twenty seconds to compose himself. “Anyways, you might wanna look for my son.”

Yukari frowns. “Why?”

“Because he’s gone missing,” he says without a care in the world.

“And how is that my problem?”

“Well, his aunt decided to go look for him before someone can, quote, ‘steal his virginity that she’s worked so hard in grooming all these years for’, unquote.”

“Uh huh.”

“Then, his mom declared that all boys' virginity belong to their mothers because they have dibs. Junko agreed with her.”

“Why was she there?”

“Only for Kaguya to jump on the bandwagon. I think she wants to marry him for winning a competition.”

“…”

“Also, Eirin wants to kill him for revenge. You see, I insulted her. She’s killed for less.”

She looks at him unamused. “Your family is so messed up. Where do we begin?”

“We? Who’s we?” He smirks. “More like you begin. I’m here to take Okina to a brothel.”

“Hell yeah brother!” The woman high fives him.

“What-?! But Gensokyo as a whole is at stake!”

Both perverts look at her as if saying ‘yes, and?’ “I can just ask my father-in-law to make a new one. Maybe he’ll make a new Yukari too.”

“One with a flat chest!”

“Saggers all the way. If you argue with me on this, we’re gonna end up fighting.”

“Don’t get like that. I’ll even hook you up with a VIP room in one of those nasty Hell brothels run by the mob. I know a guy who knows the boss, he’ll get us in!”

“Awesome!”

“Wait!” Yukari calls out to the two, already at the door. “Aren’t you worried about your son?”

The hunter shrugs. “Let him live a little. Besides, this place is a joke.”

“Dunno, man,” Okina says. “Stuff’s changed, people moved in.”

He looks incredulous as he rolls Okina out. “Who could’ve possibly moved in in the last couple years who could pose a threat to a pure-blooded Lunarian?”

Yukari is left alone. “Well, if everything gets destroyed, I can at least live inside Eirin’s head rent-free.”

>>47436721
The only difference between the jobber, friendless, autistic, stinky loser no one likes we obsess over and her actual character is that she is a jobber, friendless, autistic, stinky loser no one likes AND an amoral monster.
You can't really complain about fanon misinterpretation like what happens with Tenshi or Sanae when said misinterpretation is significantly more flattering.

Useless sage can't even put the apostrophe. This is why people like Kasen and Okina more.

>>46851413
It wasn't supposed to be long but I got carried away, I swear!

>>46653626
If we are talking about that stuff, even easier would be for Yukari to spend the next hundred of so years creating a very big rock and throw it to Earth.
If aliens were to try and destroy humans, lasers and massive armies wouldn't work, a very big rock hard counters all of humanity.
But that's a boring answer and cheating by this cute jobber, so we don't allow it and she can cry about it.

>>45808829
"Fufufu, with my reality bending power I can toy with these silly humans and they can do nothing to stop me-! Wait... what are they doing? No! Stop advancing your understanding of the unknown thus dispelling your fear of it! Why are they more afraid of microscopic viruses and some big body of water rather than me and my super cool powers! I am the great Youkai! I am the great Youkai, fear meeeee! You know what? I'm gonna build my own set of humans and then I'll be the Youkai Sage and everyone will fear me and think I'm super cool and hang out with me, fufufu!
Hum... Mister Dragon God could you help me make it? Pretty please! I promise not to slack off on the job!"