/jp/ - Otaku Culture

I posted this in /adv/ first, but I got redirected to this board.

After my only friend talked about his waifu for a while, I suddenly realized I don't have a waifu and felt like something was lacking in my life. I'm probably never going to get laid, or get in any kind of relationship, so my hand and a waifu will have to dull the crushing feeling of loneliness I feel every day of my life. Can you please help me look for one? I'm not kidding, this is a matter of extreme importance to me. I'm looking for one with the following qualities:

-In good shape, preferably a bit fit but not a steroid junkie
-Light eyes, preferably blue
-Strong, so she can protect me
-Playful but can get serious when needed
-Flirtatious, but not a slut
-A 'realistic' hair colour (blonde, brown, red or black)
-Sweet and charming
-Confident
-Can cook and clean for me
-Not a nigger

Do you have any suggestions for me guys?
Pic obviously related.