/jp/ - Otaku Culture

(1/2)
“I can barely taste anything, it’s like water.” I said, having downed another drink.
The bar was full of all type of underground Youkai, spiders, centipedes, all sorts of other animals, and Onis, just a lot of horned women. And they were all glaring at us.
At least they weren’t the backwards, ill-dressed, barbarians some had led me to believe. No, in fact, many of them were dressed in fine, colorful silks and this little bar here was very well decorated. Their outfits we’re a bit lewder, sure, showing much cleavage, neck napes, and some gaudy jewelry, but I wouldn’t call any of it cheap. In fact, I’d say there’s money to be made in starting a tourist industry down here, were it not for one problem…
“Do you fuckers think were light weights! Bring out the real thing come on!” Seija called.
The woman serving this place, an Oni with yellow horns with black stripes, looked disdainfully at us.
“Surface dwelling boot lickers get swill. Them’s the rules.” She said, pointing to a placard written in Oni script that I didn’t need to translate to know was offensive. Something like ‘If you’ve seen the sun, you’ll get none!’.
“If you don’t start serving us some real alcohol I’ll-“Seija began.
“You’ll what small stuff? Spit on me?” The Oni jeered.
Without a word I eyed every patron in the establishment, their refreshments, and counted all the drinks on the wall. This was going to be such a waste, but I really was looking forward to trying Oni’s sake and had been so patient.
“Hey what gives? This stuff tastes like lukewarm tea!” A spider youkai from across the bar shouted.
Similar sentiments issued throughout the alehouse and servers rushed to replace the disorderly customer’s beverages, only to find their entire stock had also been soiled. Seija, not one to miss letting a crowd of people know she’d ruined their night, stood up on a table and started cackling.
“Guess were all surface-dwelling boot lookers now huh!”
She would have continued jeering, had the Oni’s fist not come into contact with her face, and immediately seen the same Oni thrust straight to the ground into a hole made for her, by her, propelled by some kind of invisible force. Looking down the hole and seeing the hostess unconscious proved a little quandary of mine: can an Ogre take her own punch? This was one point for ‘no’.
As the rest of the patrons rose from the seats, I imagined I’d be putting a lot more points on the scoreboard tonight.


“30 ‘no’s and 2 ‘yes’s” I tallied aloud, sitting on the back of a much taller, knocked out Oni.
“Ah damnit, Goro they had their entire stock on display! There’s not a drop back here.” Seija said, still rummaging in hopes of finding un-flipped alcohol.
“You deceitful dogs, I hope the Yakumo shoves you into a pit twice as deep as this and half as wide.” The server Oni struggled to say, just barely managing to crawl out of her personal hole.
“Ah, just take the loss, will you?” I say rubbing my face. “You provoked us, we responded in kind, you threw a punch, and now it’s the end of the line. Not like it was hard since you all came at us the same way every time.”
“You’ll see that little trick of yours is nothing special to real strength, seen a hundred men like you try to cheat it, and they all found their way into the pits eventually.” She smiled.
“Bah just a loser spouting off.” Seija waved. “Isn’t being deceit just another strength? In that respect, even Yukari may be above you pedantic Oni.”
“What’s this about Yukari?” A new voice said.
“And what happened here? Have I missed out on all the fun?”
Before us stood a tall Oni with a singular red horn, wearing a blue kimono which was worn far more conservatively, and holding a red sake dish in one hand and a bottle of the stuff in the other. The air around her felt thick and inviting, but the pressure of her presence made my hairs stand on end. This was surly Yuugi Hoshiguma, the legendary Oni.

>>45164359
(2/4)
“Okina! Okina! Please help us!” She cried.
Seija and I gave it a moment, looking at the door, looking at the sky, tilting our heads side-to-side, and nothing happened. Guess she didn’t.
“You’re a rube.” Seija said, pulling a crow tengu she captured and gagged out from behind the tree.
“Your little plan was to pass on that thing to this one here, right? Well, based on how little that paraplegic cares to help you out, I guess you all were just a distraction.” She explained.
“I’m betting she already has a plant in the Tengu, and you all were just to get some insurance.” I said, resting my cheek on my fist.
“Now” I began, crouching next to the Kappa. “Does this one speak for all of you?” I asked the group.
For a moment they froze, until Seija began juggling the crow tengu up and down, flipping her in all six directions. They all emphatically nodded after that.
“All right.” I said, clapping my hands. “You’re going to tell us all about your plans and where you cached the rest of your illicit goods then when you wake up tomorrow, you’ll all apologize to this little illicit spot by giving love an honest shot with your phony relationships. In exchange, you get to wake up tomorrow and we’ll leave you alone.” I promised, untying the Kappa so just her hand was free.
She begrudgingly shook it, sealing the contract.



“Ahh, you shoulda let me rough em’ up more!” Seija complained as I hauled the cache from its hiding spot within a massive tree stump.
“Leave it for when they’re ripe.” I said. “Their plan wasn’t bad, and I believe they’ll learn from this. The market could use a few more business-oriented cross-species marriages instead of horny kids.”
“Whatever your say.” Seija said, kicking some dirt.
From beside us, space began to crackle and then smooth out, a vertical split appeared in the air that opened elliptically like an eye and from the blackness behind it a blonde woman walked forth.
“You have my attention. Now what do you want? Be brief, I’m very busy after all.” She said in a tone that had equal parts edge and amusement.
Time for a pitch.
“I’ll help you defend the HSE, in exchange you answer my questions about it’s defenses.” I offered.
For a moment Yukari observed me, turned her attention to Seija who stuck her tongue out at her in reply. Then she took out a fan and waved it at herself, probably contemplating or trying to make us feel nervous by increasing the tension.
“Why would I need your help?” She asked. “I already have a few choice servants and allies at my disposal, far better then the likes of you two, and as you’ve already seen, the defenses of the HSE are impenetrable from the outside.” The last line was punctuated by narrowed eyes directed at me.
“Heh, that’s why you felt so inclined to appear in front of us? Because you’re just that sure your little pillow fort is better than everyone else’s?” Seija joked.
She was right of course with her trademark crudeness. Yukari didn’t explicitly say she didn’t need help and her presence here meant she thought we had something to offer, maybe just entertainment, but even that was workable.
“What you have is a few barely restrained power houses and a fortified position against a collection of tailor-made plans, overwhelming circumstances surpassing any incident, and a few warriors that have fought far more head-on battles then you.” I answer, pausing for effect.
She’s quiet. Good, meant I could continue.
“I’ve tailored or had a part in quite a few of those plans against you, while I won’t go back on my dealings, we have the information and ability to counter the ones I wasn’t involved in. When it comes to circumstances, I can shift even more around in your favor in ways your reputation won’t allow, make things a little more favorable leveraging my connections. And as for the enemy fighters-“
“I’ve heard enough.” Yukari said raising her hand. “It’s cute seeing your appeal up close like this, however I know about your ties to the Buddhists and that your own ideals won’t allow you to side with me.” She sighed.
“I don’t hate humans like you who’ll turncoat to do good deeds and would’ve gladly had you for the fun of it were this a battle I couldn’t lose. You understand right?” She smiled.
“Oi hag.” Seija said, approaching Yukari. “Let him finish, he was just getting to the good part.”
“I don’t recall addressing you Aman-“She began, only to be cut off by the sound of Seija snapping her fingers.

>>45046716
(2/4)
I liked this neckless prude the best, at least she had part of a spine.
“On the contrary, you all can do something the heavy hitters can’t, take away Yukari’s greatest defense.” Goro spoke.
“The fox Shikigami?” Kagerou asked.
“Her gap ability?” Wakasagihime suggested.
“The Yakumo dead grip over information flow?” Sekibanki put forward.
“The hag’s inability to laugh at anyone’s jokes but her own?” I threw out.
“The village residents.” Goro spoke, answering the very question he proffered. What an ass.
“They wouldn’t defend Yukari, would they? She’s one of the most hated and despicable Youkai of all! Even Seija has more friends than her!” Wakasagihime blurt out.
Was that true? I suppose the hag had the fox Shikigami and her Shikigami’s Shikigami, but that’s more of a pet and people would clump me in with Nue and the Inchling princess so…
Ah Hell. Finally got to admit Yukari outclasses me in one thing: being a friendless loser.
“With its proximity to the village, any fight with the big wigs will leave a huge chunk of the town in the blast zone, plus a market that’s risen around that place. So, unless they want to slaughter loads of Human and Youkai, they’ll have to use smaller attacks. Meanwhile Yukari is probably preparing defense so she can fight as she pleases.” Goro explained.
“If anybody had any guts, they’d throw caution to the wind and go wild, let’s see the surprise on Yukari’s face when her little establishment becomes a memorial to a tragedy she caused!” I say romantically.
“It’s poor form to kill more people than you save on a ‘rescue mission’.” Sekibanki said.
“It might come to that anyway, since big youkai tend to get a little unhinged in the heat of things.” Kagerou added.
“Quite so, that’s why we need the Grassroot Network’s support in this. Evacuate the residents so everyone strong can nuke the place at a 100% from the beginning and Yukari will have to burn a contingency to keep in the fight. She’ll be down two who cards before the fight even begins in earnest.” Goro explained.
The Youkai looked tepid. Made sense with them being cowards and why would they go out of their way for Youkai who didn’t live on the fringe or Humans who spurned they’re existence? Goro, probably sensing their indecision, changed the subject.
“Say what’s this?” He asked, picking up a flyer from the table.
“Yamashiro dropped it off. She’s opening a business to care for lonely children and she’s looking for help!” The mutt answered excitedly, her tail sweeping back and forth.
“She means those on the borderline, half-youkai, half-humans.” Sekibanki answered matter-of-factly.
“Did she tell you why?” Goro asked.
“Because Anon’s about to have a lot of kids?” Wakasagihime answered.
Everyone turned to the mermaid in shock, even I was off-put at how quick the tuna princess put things together.
“What? I hear many Youkai go to that brothel! It’s not like many humans come out and visit us for courting and the like! So, it’s got to be his kids!” She pouted.
At this, a depressing cloud floats over the hut. The mermaid looked in the air, projecting her frustrations on a man she invented in her head. The Rokurokubi looked out the window, waiting for a stud to knock on it with a pie and bouquet. The wolf’s ears dropped, and she careened over as if all the world’s weight was suddenly placed on her.
I lapped the scenery up, putting my hands behind my head and admired the plight of socially stunted woman.
Goro coughed. “I’ve tried getting some of my bachelor friends to agree to a mixer it’s just that, well, they’ve heard the rumors about the HSE and Youkai maiden’s stock has been plummeting since they started selling lewd illustrations around the building.”
“So, if we were to help get rid of the HSE…” Wakasagihime began.
“… and help villagers escape…” Sekibanki continued.
“… then the villagers would like Grassroot Youkai more and come to visit?” Kagerou finished.
I slap a hand over my face. “Way to go Goro, you’ve conned these lonely maidens into a brothel bashing so they can dream about a man finally sharing a bed with them. Bravo!” I speak.
Unfortunately, these love-struck, dorky, sick excuses for Youkai are already too busy thinking about which man they’re going to pick out after they fall over them in the rescue attempt. Even Sekibanki, I thought she was different!
“The Grassroot Network is here to help!” They answer in unison.
“Just one issue.” Sekibanki says, raising a hand. “Won’t Yukari figure us out immediately and just plan around us?”