/jp/ - Otaku Culture

(6/6—p2)
—
As the blue glow of the moon blesses me and those words are spoken, the first thing that welcomes me are memories—a compendium not of the old but of what once was.

Of a faraway future.

“Shiki Eiki, answer me: How long do you guess it'd take for the Sanzu to dry?” I inquire as I step onto the shores and only now realize my nudity: free hand moving and scrolls with inverted text sprouting from nowhere, fingers softly commanding the unreadable words. By the next moment, my casual clothes—pure and blue—cover my body, tail swaying gracefully. Shiki Eiki answered something, her bulged eyes on Kusanagi, muttering its name under her breath.

Her answer was wrong.

On the depths of the Sanzu, my spirit—jinyou? Vengeful spirit? Embodiment of a curse?—laid… I never descended to retrieve it and transformed curse into source of power that would lead me back to my family. No…

“It took eons until the river dried into an abyss… Until all life on Earth was gone and our past forgotten. Everything faded—everything but me.” I stop ten feet away from them, sword aflame held in one hand and massive moon as background. “An ember kept me alive—Mokou's ember, the same one that protected Kosuzu and Mystia… The consequences of our festival…” I permit myself one lone tear, letting it fall down my face unbothered. “Unfathomable years ahead from now, I clawed out from the void and scoured the devastated land. My memories are blurred, all merging together; for how long I wandered that barren earth, I wouldn't be able to answer you.” They stare wide and in utter shock; the Yama is pale. “Eventually, a full moon came—the only memory that's crystal clear because, that night, a stream of blue fire from somewhere around the globe—maybe where once an ocean existed—layered over the moon; Mokou was alive; of course she was… She was also in pain. How many times did she burn her blue fire over the moon? Anticipating what? Me…?” Void instills in my heart, mind pounding with the newfound blurry memories quickly disintegrating from my mind, useless as deemed by the brain. “I thought about going after her, you know? Quenching our hearts and enjoying together our limited time. But something else happened. That woman you ferried across the Sanzu also became stardust, Komachi-san, her remains scattered over the moon and shining together with those flames. Under our blue moon, my powers changed—or maybe they became what they were always meant to be should my hakutaku and human sides merge: the power to eat future… And to write past.”

Shiki Eiki looks horrified, probably having already put the pieces together of what's happening.

“With such power, hope and responsibility came back to me. Power over my future, capable of erasing all mistakes and writing the past how I want it to be!” Triumphant words, but that brought no happiness. “… At a cost: immense magical cost… If I'd rewrite the day me and Mokou stood under her blue moon—a day before our revolution—and discovered my powers were gone, I would die, leaving Mokou to eternally exist in a dead world bearing meaningless hope. I yearned to see her again, and I could’ve gone and done so… But I knew that I’d never have the strength to leave then…”

My throat clenches; I made a choice.

That dreadful future is gone, yet it pains me immensely to think—somewhere—she may still be wandering a dead world with hollow hopes.

With lips pursed and eyes staring past the Yama and Shinigami, that one tear grows into a silent stream. Did she hold our children in their dying breaths? Comforted them? Took care of their kids—our grandchildren~—and so on…?

Yes. Yes, she did.

Perhaps that's why she never lost hope.

… Things are different; the sword of Kusanagi found its way to me when it noticed the dilatation of fate; my soul wasn't reborn somewhere away from my family with no memories; Suzu and Mystia survived the death Mr. Hieda threw at them, and my children await their other mother, Aki grumpy and Mochi nibbling on whatever his tiny hands can get a hold of~

… My babies—gods, I want to h-hold them so much…

Limitations towards others haven't been lifted; I cannot rewrite Mr. Hieda's past or eat Mokou's awful future…

Scrolls twirl around me, blue flames rising high, eyes on the full moon.

My second resurrection.

… But I'm here, and history awaits to be revealed.

“This means nothing, Kamishirasawa Keine!” I turn to Eiki, rage behind her eyes on the sword. “You're a villain! That sword is power gained—it means nothing! You'll doom Gensokyo in your selfishness!”

Those words… Where did I hear them?

… It doesn't matter.

“This power doesn't define me, Shiki Eiki.” Her words shut, eyes of a white rage, and I contemplate the memories of a swastika once engraved on my cloak… Never defined by what others think, by what fate wants or what the world demands…

That’s not Keine Kamishirasawa.

… There’s comfort in the thought of a crooked swastika. “I just want my life.”

I close my eyes.

I breathe.

I live.