/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>21110945
lmao homo

>>21103203
n_n

It hurts.

Not the type of hurt where I want to cry out in pain, or scream, or curse out loud. It’s more like getting emotionally drained then someone drowned me in the sea. I don’t turn against the pdp, her, or him. Not worth it. I am reflecting at how she could make me happy before the news, and it’ll be so wrong and hypocrite of me to act like I own her and deny her happiness just because she is not with kao, no matter how much I wish they are together. But that doesn’t mean I have to fake happiness for her either.

This is where my biggest problem with fandom labels lies.
I hate it when people say, "if you love your idol (or even some claim "if you're a Love Liver"), then you should be happy and support her if she's happy!"

Does anyone realize how cult-like that statement sound?
We all are human here, with feelings. We are entitled to our own feelings, no matter how shallow or ridiculous it might be, as long as we don’t disturb or shove it down other people’s throat.
To be honest (and very delusional of me), I feel betrayed. It’s like being strung along by the ship, even though that might not be their intention at all. The main reason I ship ayumu and shizuku is because of them. I even ship them first before I ship their characters together. But no matter how painful it feels, I’m still grateful of the ship, and her.
Because of them, I got friends here. I saw the world in different perspective. I have the courage to be back again at writing, then publish it despite the fact of how insecure I am toward my writing ability. I strive to improve because she is... she is like that. I used to be severely depressed and just seeing her smile made me smile too. She literally brightened up my day and that really sounds like I’m in love with her, which is weird since I’m never romantically or sexually attracted to her.
Honestly, if yesterday was about n_n, I wouldn’t react as badly and continued my shipping activity like nothing happened.

chad-kun ;_;