/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>44955143
(3/6—p1)
—
I wake up. Everything hurts. I want to go back to sleep—my ear wiggles, hearing rustle nearby, and I slowly push myself out of the rather comfortable surface, groaning. "Wha…" I mumble, the sound of storms outside and my surroundings dark—then, movement in the shadows, and, before I can react, a small danmaku pellet lights the area, my body wincing, expecting contact… Which never comes.

"Hi, Chen—did you sleep well?"

Slowly opening my eyes, I see the danmaku pellet frozen in the air, its light making the source of the—sweet—voice known. Light-blue hair, two eye colors, and a warm smile—a weird line of magic coming from her finger and stopping at the… bed? Are beds supposed to have handles? And an eye and—

I jump back with a yelp, tails bushy. The woman laughs at that and, with a movement of her hand, calls back the weird umbrella. "Sorry for that; I didn't resist it." Her laughter, although at my expense, rang like a bell and had this infectious quality to it.

A bit embarrassed, I say, "Why does your umbrella have a tongue?—sheesh…"

"Sorry, sorry—answering your question: I'm an obake, and this little guy here's a part of me." She playfully shows her tongue, and I stare before giggling lowly. "How are you feeling, Chen?" I'm about to ask how she knows my name when harsh memories come flooding back—the pain of before burning my head. I was flying, then it was raining, and something really made me hurt—the rest was hazy. I hold my forehead with a whine, and a cold but gentle hand promptly draws circles on my back. "You hit your head pretty bad—careful now; it's bandaged. You told me you’re Chen; I’m Kogasa, hi again!" I look at her kind smile, and the hurt subsides for a moment.

"How long…?"

"Three hours since you got here." Three hou—Ran! She's gonna be so mad at me! My sudden spike of anxiety must've shown on my face. "Do you remember what happened to your parents?" Ms. Kogasa puts her umbrella on the ground again, guiding me to sit on it before sitting down by my side, her hand still comforting me.

"Parents?" I narrow my eyes.

"Anon and Ran…?"

"Oh! These aren't my parents; Ran is my master—I'm a shikigami—and Anon is my best friend! They like each other, but—" I bite my tongue. Ran said not to go around telling people about it since it could be used against them—oh, Ms. Kogasa is giggling.

"I see, I see—and they're alright, I suppose?"

I nod, but her stare and silence compel me to explain; "I, uh—I left the Human Village to clean my head a bit and look for a gift to someone I love—but I lost track of time; then 'twas raining, and, well…" I thought about stopping there, but her touch was so gentle and calming, soothing my pain; and the sound of the thundering rain outside was nothing compared to the whispers of my mind—whispers I've, again, hidden away from Ran and Mr. Anon… I felt like crying, clutching my—torn—scarf, but kept it all inside, unlike my words: "… She's been really distant, and I thought it'd be nice to get her a gift—a pleasant flower or some neat fabric to knit something nice… but with this rain, I doubt I'd find anything: all I got today getting hurt and my favorite scarf ruined, the first one Mr. Anon knitted for me—I’m such a dumb idiot and—!!"

I feel shrunk, my stomach eating itself in pain and rage; something red taking over me. I pull out my scarf and, feeling overwhelming bitterness and rage, throw the ruined thing to the other side of the cave, immediately regretting but unwilling to go to and recover it—so I just sunk my head on my thighs and, yeah, I'm crying, teeth clenched…

The pain is searing, my head spins, and one sentence keeps repeating in my head: “I’m tearing my family apart…” I didn't notice I had said it out loud.

Because it’s just the truth. Mr. Anon and Ran have had to convince me twice in the past to tell them the things that worry me and to not hide… I know the consequences—still I did it again, and what is the result? Nothing got better; I got hurt; I'm worrying them by being away for so long; and I even managed to destroy my scarf.

I'm always the problem…

Footsteps echo in the cave together with my sobbing, and I feel that Ms. Kogasa has stopped in front of me, and I try to hide my embarrassment: I had forgotten she was here—

"You really shouldn't throw away things like these." Puzzled and beet-red, I look up—another danmaku ball floats in the air, illuminating the area—and Kogasa kneels to be at eye level. Smiling with tenderness, she holds the scarf. "They may not look like it, but things made with such love bear strong feelings."

I look at the scarf, sniffing, and turn my eyes away. "It's ruined…" A tinge in my heart whispers: 'hypocrisy'.

"Yes, it is…" Her voice calls me, and though I can see pain in her eyes of two colors, her smile is undying. Knowing. "Do you want to hear a story?” She sits by my side again, and I, mystified, nod. "It's a sad story about a… hat. A tiny, purple hat, made with much love and care."