/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>necromancer dad and mummy mom are always nagging you to find a nice dead girl
>tell them you will never go out with and undead and set out to find someone with a beating heart
>you go to the student council room to ask out that anubis vice president you've been eyeing for awhile
>no one is here, but there is a school uniform and some underwear on the floor
>you hear some people outside the room and, not wanting to be seen as a pervert, you jump into a nearby sarcophagus
>"Ara, you're pretty bold to get in bed with a naked stranger," says the pharaoh president as she wraps her arms around you, "but I don't hate bold men."
>not giving up, you nick your finger with an exacto knife as an excuse to see that cute grizzly girl working in the nurse's room
>find out she isn't there, but the vampire nurse is
>she tends to your finger by sucking it for an inordinate amount of time, moaning rather lewdly
>"Haa~, how can someone's blood be this good... You don't have a girlfriend, do you?"
>getting desperate, you write a simple love letter for that harpy on a fancy piece of paper someone left behind, saying "I love you. Anon."
>go looking for an envelope, returning just in time to see a jianshi attaching the paper to her forehead
>"Anon, I feel the same way~"
>decide it's time for the last resort
>ask out a human girl
>surprisingly she says yes
>gets hit by a truck seconds later, comes back as a zombie a few days after
>"Giiiirlfrieeeeend?"

And that, kids, is how I met your mothers

>>15510634
>Cashier gets a yandere stalker that purchases all of the homebrew pornos
>Wants to bear his daughterus and marry him
>The stalker ends up inciting the innate yandereness of the Cashiers co-workers
Oh geez oh man.