/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Name is Hades, lord of the dead, your favorite God of the underworld here. I only need a few seconds of your time, I'm a fast talker. You see I got this major deal in the works, a real estate venture if you will. So /jp/, big A, anon, may I call you anon?

Tell ya what, forget that Valhalla business. Real gritty. Ain't good for ya bones, kid, they got you fighting up to the knees. Why not enjoy your mortal time here on Earth? Trust me kid, there's nothing but ghosts and tortured souls of the dead in the afterlife. Nothing pretty.

Alright, so, let's keep this short. I got this deal for you, see. Your..."why-fu"...oh, oh! Waifu, right, right, it's the translators.

Right, so this waifu of yours, I can make her real, turn a pile of dust into your beautiful dream girl, "loli" or older. Bada bing bada boom! Know what I'm getting at? But get this, this isn't even half the thing. She'll unquestionablly love you forever for the rest of your life, no fighting, no arguments, no sad endings, you'll be together, maybe make a baby or two, have the fairy tale life, boom, the end.

So anyway, it's a deal, so I need just a little something in return, nothing big, you don't even use it, you won't miss it, trust me. I just need the contract for the complete ownership of your soul, from death until eternity.

So how about it, anon? I'm breaking my limbs here getting this out to you.