/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Lately I've been drifting away from her because lately I'm unable to form an emotional connection with anything, really. But about ten years ago, when I was around twelve years old, I first watched Crest of the Stars and I was introduced to Lafiel. I don't know exactly what it was, but I fell in love with her completely. I've always been kind of shy and timid, and I really admired the way she could do so much, so competently, as young as she was. Needless to say I found her aesthetically attractive, but it went deeper than that - Lafiel exemplified everything that I value in a human being. She was extremely loyal, completely in control of her emotional state, cold-bloodedly determined to accomplish anything she wanted or had to do - but at the same time she had a deep reservoir of emotion and hidden vulnerability. I fell head over heels and didn't even know it. It got to the point where I could close my eyes and see her (you might recall how active your imagination was when you were a kid). I would be overcome with joy; unable to do anything but bask in the warmth of the ball of lead in my stomach. Under the shadow of Lafiel, I grew up trying (and failing) to espouse and emulate the strength of her character and convictions. My real life was impacted by her in a big way.

Through her I gained a respect for the military and eventually enlisted. Somewhere deep down inside me, I think I thought that I would meet someone like her. It turns out that in the real world it can be difficult to experience combat and still keep your sanity intact, much less anything else, but I try.