/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>16790495

This is a long response but I feel I have to remove this weight off my shoulders. I've been trying to make some improvements to my life while I fit my interests in it somewhere. I've learned the cold hard fact that nobody cares about me and at the same time, they create this terrible fantasy about what's going to happen to me if I continue on this lifestyle. It feels like a typical anime scene where the background is shadowy and you have these faceless people just sneering at you. It's a widespread aura of psychologically conditioning into a person you don't want to be, to give up what you like and who you are and if you don't, you get laughed at. I'm going to admit it, I've been shamed because I wanted to buy a figure at a convention and that's the last thing I'll ever do: Feel shame about what I like and going to a convention with people like that. I am learning to not have shame affect me and I let something petty like a comment "Getting a figure like that lowers your chances at having sex." hit me. I don't think I can express the right words to fully understand this feeling except it's near-fatalistic in my mind, it's gloomy, and it clouds your enjoyment based on the offense of other people. In the end, I think you're right about being productive but I'm not choosing to be productive so people can see me in a positive light, I'm choosing to be productive so I can enjoy my hobbies even more. I think I was weak not because of my hobbies, but because I allowed myself to be afraid of what people think of me.