/jp/ - Otaku Culture

(1/2)
Recently I’ve felt conflicted.
Anon and I had slept together. He’d ask for it, wanted it, offered to help me, and I had given him every opportunity to say no, encouraged him to even. So, I was so happy when he joined with me anyway, that he’d do that for me willingly even though it was the source of so much torment for him.
But in the end, he was still trapped here and maybe I wasn’t so different from the other woman who’d come to him time after time forcing him down. Perhaps I had just coerced him, strung him along so Anon would love me honestly and not feel obligated, when in the end I’d just tricked him into loving me. Something Yukari might’ve been proud of if it was any other man.
It would do me no good to agonize over it! I had to tell him honestly, confess how I felt instead of letting this shame eat me alive. So, I went into the fake shrine during his break period alone and made for his bedroom.
What I found was the Yamawaro, Yamashiro, stroking his sleeping head. When she noticed me, she put a finger to her lips, warning me not to disturb him.
It irritated me. Anon had confided in her, she’d helped him, and unlike the rest of the woman she hadn’t had her way with him, for that I was grateful. She even took on whatever task was thrown at her, no matter if it was tutoring Chen in math or getting a trench dug, what’s more, she lately had become less apathetic more, caring. And that’s what made me itch, all that, yet she was also a beneficiary of this cursed place, even if she wasn’t personally tormenting Anon, she made sure it happened in the most efficient way possible.
Maybe I was angry because she was a better hypocrite.
After a while she beckoned me out of the room and out to the porch where we both sat down next to each other.
“So, you took the plunge?” She asked.
I nodded.
Yamashiro sighed. “I should have guessed with how close you two were getting. That man has no control over his own charms after all, it was only a matter of time until you were bewitched.”
This surprised me. “I hadn’t asked him, I told him about my estrus and my concerns and he, just wanted to help.”
It was surreal saying these things to such a younger Youkai, let alone hearing me talk about it out loud. What trick had this Yamawaro learned…
“Makes sense, he always wants to help, to support the people around him, those he loves. That’s the worst part about this place.” She waved her finger in the air, as if pointing to the entire space at once.
“He can’t meaningfully do anything for anyone from here. It’s all a façade to him, being the center of attention, and having to put on act of himself. The bedroom, however much of a performance he must put on, is maybe the one place he can genuinely love people here, and you know how he feels about that.”