/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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I know its tl;dr
>Noon comes around
>house is a bustling
>been a long time since we were all together like this
>dad and brother are hitting the labatt blue
>around 1pm est my mother finds my thawed ham and practice turkeys for deep frying
>ham in the oven around 1:30pm est
>prep the deep fryer in hopes to lull them all to sleep when doll comes or kill them with heart attacks
>dad finds the last (warm) case of beer and buries them all in the snow
>kids are shockingly not destructive, probably due to wifi, phones and head to head battles of mario kart 7 and 8
>3:30pm est and alls well
>start the fryer, teaching a couple of the kids and my parents about water displacement
>knock knock knock
>face goes white
>world not stopping
>sister still in kitchen with female inlaw who is texting and kinda watching them
>brother and male inlaw watching the kids play and getting into it kinda
>near hot flame and oil
>but my hands are cold
>knock knock knock
>4:15 pm est
>cant ignore door forever
>call for someone to watch the fryer so the kids dont get burned
>still in panic but kinda pulling it off
>but not really
>open door, sign and get a warning on its weight
>take package over my shoulder, I cant fucking stealth this
>brothers in couch see it
>they ask
>dear god they asked
>"new desk!" I blurt out
>>"oh yeh? want help putting it together?"
>FUCK
>this is the end of my family life
>but it was a nice last day
>sister screeches "HAMS READY! ANON! HOW LONGS THE TURKEY GONNA FRY?!"
>dad walks in with buried labatt treasure
>brothers instantly forgot/not care about package
>mom already started frying because she read the instructions I printed for myself earlier
>"quickly" run upstairs to place in corner
>4:30pm est we are all eating
>6 pm est rolls around
>brother and female inlaw needs to go
>remaining help clean up
>sister says "not bad for an improvised dinner, did you really intend to eat all that by yourself, anon?"
>>"not all at once, ham was intended for new years and turkey was intended for christmas"
>"too bad we didnt have any gravy though"
>>without thinking because of the stress of the day "i will make some tonight"
>"a little late dont ya think?" she said as the gravity of what I said hit me
>7:30pm est rolls around, house is now empty and relatively clean
>fall asleep on couch
>woke up like 10 minutes ago tripped over my wii u gamepad getting upstairs
>its all greasy
>fuck "that kid"