/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Check out my doubles.

>>5712954
>Asumu

Kyrie has to be the culprit simply due to the fact that everybody else on the island is literally a mouth breathing retard and she's the only person that could possibly organize this shit.

Who else do you think could pull this off? Your meido that your autism leads you to believe has DID?

Wait... guys... repeat after me....

White. Haired. Ange.

Think about it this way gents. This one episode basically fucked us all in the ass repeatably, not even bothering to give us a reach around, would it not make sense for the next episode to do the same thing?

MY BODY
IS READY

>>5607222
>My face when Jessica slowly bleeds out after being stabbed by Sayo, and then Sayo trolls her by telling her that she is adopted, and that her parents don't love her, and that Kanon was all just a lie.

>>5491315
Actually, I did just that. I also told him that Kanon was the stereotypical brooding pretty boy, and he acknowledged that she was straight.

>>5312145
Funny, similar thing happened to Asumu.

In EP 4, Kyrie calls Battler and tells him magic and witches are real. This would obviously cast suspicion on her.

However, if we turn the chessboard around, this makes Kyrie completely innocent.

>>4977669
If that was true, then we'd have >>4977293 already, genious.

If you're havin' girl problems i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a witch ain't one


I got the rap patrol on the gat patrol
Foes that wanna make sure my casket's closed
Buisness critics they say she's "Money Cash Hoes"
I'm from the hood stupid, what type of facts are those
If you grew up with holes in ya zapatos
You'd be celebrating the minute you was havin' dough
I'm like fuck critics you can kiss my whole asshole
If you don't like my plans you can press fast forward
I got beef with Krauss if he don't pay his dough
He don't pay my chick I fuck up his shit SO
Moon-chan try and scorch my ass
So Battler can give 'em more cash for trolls, fuckers
I don't know what you take me as,
Or understand the intelligence that Kyrie has
I'm from rags to ritches niggas I ain't dumb
I got 99 problems but a witch ain't one
Hit me

Umineko General Thread.

So for starters, let's have a roll call of the most suspicious people on the island.

Battler, George, Hideyoshi, Jessica, Kyrie, Kinzo, Shannon, Kanon, Kumasawa, Genji, Gohda, Eva, Rosa, Maria, Natsuhi, Krauss, Rudolf, and Kyrie are the first few that come to mind, anyone got any others?

>>4908599
>send out Senhime in every fight
>she still leaves
>Attack South Africa
>She's defending there
>Isoroku uses whirlwind shot
>KILLED
>My face

>>4895143
Making a pun at your own expense....
how cool!

>>4878289
Jessica's love for Kanon is completely legitimate.

What a heartless girl, lying to Battler over the phone about witches like that....

Why can't we all just get along?
Remember the good old days, with Kyrie being the culprit?

I know that your powers of retention
Are as wet as Rosa's insides
But thick as you are, pay attention
My words are a matter of pride
It's clear from your vacant expressions
The lights are not all on upstairs
But we're talking heads and successions
Even you can't be caught unawares
So prepare for a chance of a lifetime
Be prepared for sensational news
A shining new era
Is tiptoeing nearer

Shannon: And where do we feature?

Just listen to teacher.
I know it sounds sordid
But you'll be rewarded
When at last I am given my dues
And injustice deliciously squared
Be prepared!

Kanon: Yeah-heh... we'll be prepared, heh.
...For what?

For the death of the head.

Kanon: What, is he sick?

No fool, we're going to kill him. And the rest of the family too.

Shannon: Great, who needs a head? No head no head!

Fools, there will be a head!
I will be the head. Stick with me, and you'll never go hungry for Battler again!

Servants: It's great that we'll soon be connected.
With a head who'll be all-time adored

Of course, quid pro quo, you're expected
To take certain duties on board
The future is littered with prizes
And though I'm the main addressee
The point that I must emphasize is
You won't get a sniff without me!
So prepare for the coup of the century
(Oooh!)
Be prepared for the murkiest scam
(Oooh... La! La! La!)
Meticulous planning
(We'll have love!)
Tenacity spanning
(Lots of love)
Decades of denial
(We'll decline)
Is simply why I'll
(Endless nine)
Be heat undisputed
(Aaaaaaah...)
Respected, saluted
(...aaaaaaah...)
And seen for the wonder I am
(...aaaaaaah!)
Yes, my teeth and ambitions are bared
(Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo)
Be prepared!
[All:]
Yes, our teeth and ambitions are bared
Be prepared!

Ok, so we know why most everyone has a western name. But why does Kyrie have a western name? Specifically one that means "O Lord"?

And what have we learned today, kids?
Playing competitive chess will make you a criminal mastermind.
I would be more afraid of fucking Kasparov alone than all the heads of state of the world planning on world annihilation.