/jp/ - Otaku Culture

For about 3 years I pretended to be a girl to this man. He was like 50yo. We met on an imageboard, then eventually started sending tl;dr emails back and forth (thousands upon thousands of words long).

Over time he genuinely "fell in love" with me. I didn't even send him pics or anything -- I was just a fake name and multiple long emails, but over those years we became quite close. It was sad because he was just lonely and desperate... so I had to cut off contact. It was just depressing to deceive someone like that... and of course I had begun to have strange feelings for him myself; not exactly romantic, but sympathetic, at least...

Anyway, I don't seem to have gotten over it 100% because... I think of him when I fap.

When I'm pulling my dick, I imagine it's him stroking my vagina. I fap on my back... and it's him going down on me, holding me tenderly, rubbing my breasts...

When I climax, I squeeze a pillow into my bosom and whisper his name... and sometimes, only sometimes, after his name I find myself adding "I love you"

For about 3 years I pretended to be a girl to this man. He was like 50yo. We met on an imageboard, then eventually started sending tl;dr emails back and forth (thousands upon thousands of words long).

Over time he genuinely "fell in love" with me. I didn't even send him pics or anything -- I was just a fake name and multiple long emails, but over those years we became quite close. It was sad because he was just lonely and desperate... so I had to cut off contact. It was just depressing to deceive someone like that... and of course I had begun to have strange feelings for him myself; not exactly romantic, but sympathetic, at least...

Anyway, I don't seem to have gotten over it 100% because... I think of him when I fap.

When I'm pulling my dick, I imagine it's him stroking my vagina. I fap on my back... and it's him going down on me, holding me tenderly, rubbing my breasts...

When I climax, I squeeze a pillow into my bosom and whisper his name... and sometimes, only sometimes, after his name I find myself adding "I love you

For about 3 years I pretended to be a girl to this man. He was like 50yo. We met on an imageboard, then eventually started sending tl;dr emails back and forth (thousands upon thousands of words long).

Over time he genuinely "fell in love" with me. I didn't even send him pics or anything -- I was just a fake name and multiple long emails, but over those years we became quite close. It was sad because he was just lonely and desperate... so I had to cut off contact. It was just depressing to deceive someone like that... and of course I had begun to have strange feelings for him myself; not exactly romantic, but sympathetic, at least...

Anyway, I don't seem to have gotten over it 100% because... I think of him when I fap.

When I'm pulling my dick, I imagine it's him stroking my vagina. I fap on my back... and it's him going down on me, holding me tenderly, rubbing my breasts...

When I climax, I squeeze a pillow into my bosom and whisper his name... and sometimes, only sometimes, after his name I find myself adding "I love you

hey /jp/

what if you had been born as a girl?

I've only ever loved my mother.

But I feel like I cause her nothing but worry.

3 weeks ago before I left to go to my new flat at university we said goodbye and her last words were "make sure you have fun, you're eighteen". Since getting here I've locked myself in my room every night. I leave for classes in the morning, get in in the afternoon and sit on my bed all day. At night I hear my flatmates stumble in drunk. I haven't gone "out" like that once.

Every time she calls I pretend I'm happy, that I'm having fun with my new independent life, that I'm making so many new friends... the truth is I want to go back home to her so much, I want to be with my mum and spend all my time with her... I want to make love to her... she's my first and only love.

so lonely