/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Alternative endings for Touhou 13

Things you'd say about Janny but not your girlfriend.

Things you can say about your waifu but not your girlfriend.

Hero:
Gilbert Gottfried has been lonely ever since being fired from Aflac advertising due to his snide joke about the disaster in Japan. No one has been paying him any attention. In a fit of remorse, he subjects his body to science. A team of doctors in Japan testing age-reversing tonics accidentally overdose poor Gilbert, turning him into his teenage self. He escapes from the testing facility, eager to revive his life with a new shot at high school in the nation that gave him his second shot at personal advancement. He aims to woo as many women in Japan as possible with the charm of his voice and the charisma of his can-do attitude.

Villain route:
Jeremy Irons finds out about Gottfried's science experiments and realizes the potential that could be attained through a free 30-year lease on life. Once more a teen, he transfers into Gottfried's high school mid-term, aiming to get in Gilbert's way and dominate the school with the power of eyebrows and diabolical acting. A loli version of that horrible actress from the Dungeons and Dragons movie follows him around and does his bidding while making deadpan quips.

"We're too retarded to grow up, so let's fantasize about badly drawn cartoon children"

things you can say about japan but not your girlfriend

Things that /jp/ enjoy

Opinions that you hold and because of which people think you are trolling.

Sex toys you pleasure yourself with while playing eroge.

Things Anonymous Jones would say.

Sex toys you pleasure yourself with when masturbating to eroge.

Places where you buy anime dvds.

Things KoG would say.

Things that Touhou can proudly say to have and other shmups don't.

Things a /jp/er would never say.

Things you use to justify why you haven't been out of your house in months.

Things you love to grunt to yourself while masturbating to eroge in order to boost arousal.

Things you would never dare say to ZUN's face.

Excuses you use to justify your fixation for Touhou when in front of friends, parents or strangers.