/jp/ - Otaku Culture

I've been trying to become a Vocaloid-P For 10 years.

I started training back in 2012 with FL STUDIO when I heard MIKU ENGLISH V3 would be coming out from MikuFan.
I decided to join VocaloidOtaku and start posting to join the community. I was new to music and music production and learned a lot at first.
When MIKU English V3 released I was really disappointed, I didn't like the quality of the english bank. What I really wanted to make was Japanese songs, but I reluctantly used the english bank anyway and put out subpar songs under a P name. a month later I dropped that P name and decided I'd try to learn Japanese to make real MIKU songs.
So I trained more for 3 years, but wasted a lot of time on chats / gaming. I Decided to try again but used MIKU V4 ENGLISH, I tried really hard with the music but again I DID NOT LIKE the ENGLISH so I didn't put much effort into it. I released an small EP with some paid artwork, about a month later I deleted that P name also.
I decided that's it I'm going to make a Japanese song and I joined some Magic Mirai first contest and I google translated the lyrics / used what little knowledge I had, I entered it in Magical Mirai but after I uploaded it and listened over the next few days I realized my production skills were lacking and I decided my next release would be more professional, seems I focused too much on composition and neglected mixing/production.
I actually had a identity crisis the following years. I didn't know what type of music I really wanted to produce. I spent the next 3 years getting better at all aspects and learning what I really wanted to make I took up drawing too, I always wanted to draw my own art
it's now 2020, I know a bit of japanese, can draw slightly okay, pretty good at music production. I had planned to make a song and make a MV, I felt like I was ready, but I spent 2020 to 2022 just slacking, watching tutorials, or other things. Seems I got addicted to consisntely watching tutorials instead of doing it. all in all over 10 years I've only made 30 songs total, and only 5 of them have been vocaloid songs. I still want to be vocaloid P, someday I'll start again lol I seen SynthV is out now but honestly the only vocal I like is SAIKI and I still want to make MIKU songs. I left alot of stuff out, but someday I'll become vocaloid p... I think I might be autistic or something