/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Every night I fall asleep and the loneliness and anxiety heap heavily upon me in the dark.
I cover myself in my duvet all except for my nose and eyes that I might breathe clearly.
I picture Hama-chan stabbing me to death. I am bleeding out on the street. Hama sees that her work is done; I have about a minute of consciousness left.
She drops the blade, kneels besides me, takes my head in her arms and kisses my forehead gently.
In the days prior to this, she has guided me through the process of writing my will, such that all of my belongings will go to her.
Though the pain of the multiple stab wounds is immense, my brain sees flashes of Hama, comfortable in my apartment after my death, going through my belongings to see what she might pawn or keep, and I feel a certain calmness knowing that she will be okay, and her kisses to me brow seem to lull me into a helpless and beautiful rest.
With my last ounce of strength I lift my hand and squeeze her arm. Love and devotion. I expire.

Hama will go on to do this to more men in her life, and she might forget me in just a week's time, but I picture that moment on the street, dying in her arms, and I freeze it in my mind. I am at peace. I am happy. I am fulfilled. Hama is God.