/jp/ - Otaku Culture

I betrayed myself, and more importantly I betrayed the hagchads. All along this week, with every fap I fought against my eyes and gut feeling and even googled for an answer and looked on Dogma's official site and found no indication but, I KNEW my eyes and gut were right. Yet, I chose to be catastrophically wrong because I thought "I really must be face blind after all" as I admit, my ability to tell people apart is not consistent and in some cases relies on context. However, many lookalikes to me don't look like lookalikes, so it goes both ways. Make-up and style can confuse me, so often with women I might think "make-up is really this powerful?" and don't want to conclude "this isn't the same person!" even if I see obvious bone structural differences. The flip side is, with some people I can't tell them apart at all without contextual factors. Because ethnicity or "race" is not a notable factor, and in some cases I even don't recognise friends or mistake strangers for friends, maybe it's autism or such.

In any case, let me embarrass myself before I make an apology to hagchads and everybody else who may have taken my posts at face value. At least I know I'm really not as face blind as I already began to question, but at what cost?

Here's what happened. I'll explain the timeline as it unfolded, and it will be painful to read. I fapped to PTKA-002 like many times before, cooming to the part where Shiina strap-on fucks Rei Mizuna. Then for whatever reason I skimmed some of the making clips at the end. Seeing Tsukika (who directed it) with minimal make-up acting like a nice lady, I realised what a hag she is. To be clear, she's very sexy and I aspire to become a hagchad, so that isn't a bad thing. My epiphany was that, if this is only one year later than PTJ-004, in which she appears alongside Fuuka Nanasaki with heavy make-up, even if the guts lesbian's make-up actually is more than it looks, it's impossible that she's Tsukika because she would look much older. I found a good frame and looked at her face thinking, "this can NOT be Tsukika" and googled again about the cast of PTJ-004. Of course Fuuka is mentioned everywhere, Tsukika in many places, but that's it. "Could a person really be this face blind?" I thought, knowing it can't be true. So, I skimmed the making scenes at the end until I saw her. There she is, Tsukika the hag! Yes, she doesn't even look at all similar to this girl. Seeing them next to each other made me wonder, how could I possibly think this could be the same hag? Well, the power of make-up and facial blindness is what I thought, but that's wrong. But, there was no information about any other actress in this JAV than Fuuka and Tsukika anywhere that I could find. So, I skipped around the video until I found the credits listing the cast:
>Fuuka
>Tsukika
>a guy
>a guy
>Lucy
Who the hell is Lucy? Could Lucy be the guts lesbian? I start to google, didn't see anything relevant for "PTJ-004 ルーシー" (I will get back to this). You can see for yourself what just "ルーシー AV" gets you, so that avenue was even more hopeless. I added more terms to narrow it down, "ルーシー AV SM" and more. Nothing, until I think "what if this Lucy is Shiina with the power of make-up and facial blindness?" so I google "ルーシー シーナ" and there it is! A relevant page! An SM wiki. A mention of the two in the same context, so again I was able to relax "I'm not face blind" as this confirms they are not the same person. So, who is this Lucy? I googled the initial "PTJ-004 ルーシー" again, now looking at the image results. There she is! The photos are on some blog, which lays it as plain as can be: Lucy is the guts lesbian. I then looked at the site results again and saw that I had missed that exact blog post among the first results...

At that moment, I had another epiphany. Can you guess what it was? A brand new level of retardation had certainly been reached because all along, it could not have been more obvious that this is not Tsukika. After all, she doesn't have Tsukika's tattoos. She has tattoos, yes, but they're different. I've seen Tsukika's tattoos enough times to know that these are different, so why didn't that erase any doubt? How could I look at this girl who doesn't look like Tsukika, is probably half her age, and has different tattoos, and think it's her? Of course the reason is that I saw only Fuuka and Tsukika as cast and when it's such a prominent scene, you'd expect her to be credited (as she is in the credits roll), but this really shows how incomplete online databases can be.

Hagchads, please don't judge this as a mistake that blocks my road to becoming a hagchad. It clearly means I'm not ready to truly appreciate the hagness of even somebody like Tsukika as hagness, hence being fooled into thinking this Lucy is that sexy hag despite not even being a hag. So, I have a long way to go as a hagchad.