/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>39362545
I miss him so much bros...

>>39185379
Her hand was right there.
It had felt as if the entire dance floor had been frozen.
Everyone else besides her was just gone.
The timid look in her eye...
Her hand reaching out to me...
I felt it.
The feeling I had only felt in my dreams by this point.
My chest was burning.
Everything was being shaken inside of me.
That feeling.

It was love.

I took her hand and began to dance.
The look on her face when I grabbed her hand.
It's something I will never forget for the rest of my life.
I swung her around and moved back and forth.
Her laughs echoed inside my skull.
The sound of happiness.
It scared me.
My heart began to beat fast. So fast I thought it would explode.
My chest got tighter and tighter. I couldn't breathe. The sound of her laugh got dimmer and dimmer and it was slowly replaced by my brain telling me to run.

I let go of her hand.

I said let's go meet up with the others and left without her to the drink table.

I'll never forget the worried look in her eye.

We met up with the others. My hands were shaking so horribly, But I couldn't let her see. It was unbecoming of a man of my stature.

Then I said it. The few short words made the night into hell but not for me.

"Hey [Name of friend}, Dare me to go ask out a bunch of chicks to dance? "
"Bruh bet, Go do it [My name]!"

Her face began to lose color.

I went up to this ginger chick that wasn't as pretty as "her" but the beer made her look kinda cute. And I took her dancing. Women like her were always so easy. I hated them. I began groping her and of course she didn't resist. I took the ginger chick to the lounge room and had her lay on me while we sat down. The girl I liked...She had no one. All of my friends had brought dates except her. One of my friends said lets get a picture and I'll never forget how lonely she looked. Standing off to the side next to me while I had my arms wrapped aroung the fucking ginger bitch. A photo that she can never erase, A photo I can never erase. We sat back down and I grabbed the ginger bitchs head... I began to kiss her. She tasted so good. My tongue and hers interlocked. I remember her telling me to keep my eyes closed but... I didn't.
I saw "her".
She was looking at use.
Her face an expression of sadness.
I'll never forget the look on her face for the rest of my life.

It didn't end there.
I grabbed the ginger bitch and took her to the bathroom.
We went into the stall. She began jerking me off.
Kissing it every so often, Leaving her lipstick on it.
I finished on her face and she was forced to wash off some of the gallons of makeup she had on.
Homecoming was coming to an end.
I met up with the group.
And I bragged about how she gave me a blowjob. (It wasn't really one but I wanted them to think more of me)
I told her.
I told her.
I told her.
She was quiet.
She didn't speak for the rest of that night.
We ended up walking around for a bit.
And then we went home.

I love her.

I had never realized it until about a year ago.
And now all I can do is watch her.
I shattered her heart, And yet she still laughs at my shitty jokes. I still see her every weekend. I'm still invited up to her lakehouse.
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK
FUCK THIS FUCKING SHIT
Is this my punishment for my sins that night!? I have reached a point in my obsession for her where I cannot even begin to fathom a reality without her. She STILL has never dated. All I want is to tell her how I feel about her BUT I am NOT the same man I once was. I have regressed. I am NOTHING like the man I once was. I am a hoodlum. I have done so many more sins since then. I got kicked out of my school for giving up on my academics. I had to go to a alternitive school just so I can get my credits. The once passion-filled man who thought he could have the world has been reduced to a no one. Why? Why would she still love me? I have NOTHING. No social standing. No money. No pride. No superiorty anymore. I cannot live with being rejected by her, I need her. Whenever she's around the headaches stop and I feel it. That feeling has become like a drug to me, All I want is to feel it again. If I'm denied to look upon her beauty I would go mad. How utterly pathetic. The once great ________ now reduced to a man with no passion who only exists as a by product for others. I used to have my own wants, MY OWN DREAM! Now I am a lord of ruin, Always remembering what I had but never being able to move on, All for her. This is what I deserve, I finally found love and destroyed it. I only pray that one day I'll find it again, A dream I can live and die for and maybe then I'll be able to have her. To call her my partner. A woman so amazing she is something else. She has her own dreams, Her own Ideals. She wishes to live, And so did I at one point. Now I wish nothing more then to exist.

I'm in hell and I won't be getting out anytime soon.