/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>45680344
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I watch as the flames devour the gold and marble, leaving behind a pile of acrid and rancid junk—somehow, just as ugly as before—my expression troubled in deep anxiety and fear, barely containing the shake of my body… So much weakness shown in my face; Hana shouldn't have to see any of this. She just had a terrible day full of stress, the shake of her body and sobbing reverberating inside my head and lashing out at my conscience; that's all Yukari's fault! She has made my little girl suffer so much… But that wouldn't be the whole truth. Taking this responsibility off my shoulders is just not fair to her, to Anon—to myself.

As I store my gohei, the crimson flames dart towards me, harmlessly licking my skin and disappearing beneath my clothes. Shouldn't waste those: I have a limited supply…

With a strangled inhalation, I forcefully bury the light of my eyes, blocking tears from streaming, and turn to Hana, my tired complexion saddening with the sight of her arranged in that white uniform and not her Hakurei miko's, not even capable of feeling proud she has made her own choices—for all I know, that thing was forced onto her—, our eyes on one another's, hers broad like a doe's, body frigid and cogs of the mind visibly turning. In another, better world, that vision would be funny.

Mima still holds her hand; Sanae the other. Kazami gently places Marisa on the couch, and Alice's eyes are thoughtful as she cleans up her remaining tears, sticking by Hana's side protectively.

Finally, words shatter the silence: "Why… Are you here?" Hana slowly asks, a pinch of revolt in her tone. Hurts, but it's more than understandable.

"I heard you were in danger, so I came." It's instantaneous: her eyes turn to absolute suspicion, body language hard to tell beneath those symbols and flowing white. "Han—"

"Don't lie to me! You were stalking me, weren't you?! I don't want you in my life—you just ruin everything you come close to!" The bite in those words spawns from many places; it's old and bottled up, an anger taking form as she steps hard on the ground, her body shaking with the sudden surge of abrasive emotion. I take everything with open arms. "Every problem I have exists because of you! YOU! Me, in danger?! Don't fuck with me—I know exactly why you are here; you thought that ‘saving’ me from M-Yukari would get you any favor?! That I would just forgive you and welcome you back into my life? Forget everything?! Things don't work like that! S-Saying all those things about d-dad…" Her tears are hot and her features contort in utter spite—confuses me the conflict that burns inside her eyes, harrowing and disorienting; yet I pay no attention, focused on how quickly my heart combusts in sorrow. "You're the worst…"

"I know, my daugh—"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" She yells, leaving the women’s hold and brandishing her gohei as if prepared to fight. Mima and Sanae tense, ready to stop her and—

"… I know, Hana." Simple words, and her eyes go wide. Any fight she expected faded into thin air with the sight of warm, extenuating tired eyes. "But I did not lie. I came here because I heard you were in danger—" she tried to speak again, but I couldn't stop talking; too human to not let it out. "—and that I love you." Weakness tries to leave, and I bare my teeth, rapidly cleaning my eyes, feeling on the edge. Hana watches, arrant confusion blossoming throughout her whole frame.

"Y-You're lying," she moves her head as if denying, eyes wide. "YOU NEVER LOVED ME! FATHER! If you loved us, you wouldn't have been that person! You'd have stuck to your promises! But you never did! It's all lies, lies, and lies!" She holds her ears shut, a sudden urge pushing me to close the distance… I hold my scarf hard, gulping down the feeling. I don't deserve that, nor should I seek it, no matter how much my heart breaks apart.

I look at that damaged, bleeding thing, despairing for a life I had at my fingertips yet so ultimately wasted… I try casting it aside—there's no coming home for me…

… Still…

It's suffocating! No matter what I do, it still longs for it—

Her eyes—images of a tiny baby in my arms; of infinite love unlike any other; of a duty beyond just swinging the cursed gohei.

STILL…

Her smile so sweet towards me—her idol, her savior. Her mother.

It's love unbearable.

— "PLEASE!" I yell out of nowhere, Hana freezes, dumbfounded and startled. The dam had broken and, with teeth bared, thick tears streaming down and whole body shaking, I fell to my knees, hitting my forehead so strongly on the floor that it began bleeding. My voice was shaky as an ember. "I d-don't want you to forgive me, Hana! I'll never ask you to do it! I'm trying to be better, for you and for Anon! To give meaning to my time on this earth! Don't forgive me; don't want me in your life—I understand!" Blood pours down my face as tears thicken. I stare at her, chest screaming with this humane display. "But, please… just hear my words; they're no lie: Hana, I love you."