/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>45946407
I had a Buddhist phase years ago. Over time I decided some Buddhist teachings are undeniably true & intuitive, like how they view the body as just an aggregate, the whole is the sum of its parts (AKA no-soul), but the coolest and most interesting parts of buddhism lack much proof.

Here's my semi-schizo theory: Buddhists are mostly right, but got some fine details wrong. First off, consciousness is infinite and a property of reality itself -- this one is crucial. The self is an illusion created by a set of incredibly strong filters placed on awareness. If something crazy happens to the body/mind, these filters stop working, and you temporarily realize that (1) everything is infinite and (2) everything is one. This is also why it's possible for our sense of time and space to warp, & why Kant was right that these 2 properties are innate biases of the human cognition. When the filters go away, everything becomes infinite and unbounded.

But I don't believe in Buddhist karma or their circle of hells, or "you were a shitty person so you're gonna reincarnate as a bat". It all seems really fanciful and distracts from the amazing truth I mentioned above. I also don't believe rebirth is gonna be forced on us. That really paints the world in a negative light and makes our lives look like a pointless punishment. People who have near-death experiences & DMT/salvia users say it's the opposite, after death we can choose to stay "dead" AKA infinite. I have no proof rebirth works one way or the other though, it's just odd to imagine the Buddhist version which makes this life into some kind of hell where we'd all be better off not being born

Does anyone else feel like, if you really tried, you could do something amazing like the greatest artwork of the 21st century? It's not really a rational feeling. Since childhood I've just sensed I was "special", the feeling stays in the back of my mind even if I ignore it. Which is crazy for a NEET with 0 accomplishments, no degree, and no skills or experience. But it's less a sense of "You ARE destined for this great thing" and more "If everything lined up right, you could do this amazing thing, but instead things are slightly off so you're just a burn-out loser sorry"

But naturally no one can understand what you mean. To them, you're a loser with delusions of grandeur. And honestly that's fair. You can't rest on your laurels your whole life, telling yourself "Just wait until I finally get going, I'm gonna shock the whole world once I do!" You coast on that feeling of being special, and you're terrified to actually start anything because it might just prove you're average. And if you're a normal, unspecial loser, then it gets really depressing. But you have to suck it up and try anyway.