/jp/ - Otaku Culture

"Anonymous... Anonymous, I want you to do it inside of me."

Alice shifted her weight under me and clasped her hands around my neck.

"It's okay, Anonymous. I want you to. I want... I want to have you child. I love you."

That was months ago. She was large with child, now and probably happier than she had ever been before. She hummed to herself while knitting baby clothes and often called me over to feel her swelling belly. When I touched her, I could feel the squirming life within.

"What should we call her, Anonymous?"

She'd ask me that often. She'd been urging me to pick a name for several weeks, now. Honestly, I didn't know what to tell her -- or how to tell her: I didn't care.

That child didn't matter to me. She didn't matter.

I've been seeing someone else.

That Hakurei girl at the shrine does whatever you like for five hundred ten or a half pound of rice and sweetened pickles. She'll do anything. She's utterly shameless, unlike Alice, who'll only do it in the dark, under the covers.

I'd like to say that I'm sorry, but I'm not. Alice is tiring. Exhausting. I can't keep up with her anymore.

I want her to disappear. I want her and that child to disappear, now, from in front of me. I want this life under my hand to turn into fog and smoke under my fingers.

"Anonymous? Is something wrong?"

Alice looked up at me.

"No, it's nothing."

"Oh..." Alice frowned. "Are you sure?"

I took my hand off of her. She thumbed her yarn nervously and look off to the side. Even now, she was still a sheepish when I stood close. I hated that.

"I'm going outside for a while."

"Oh... o-okay. Don't come back too late. I'm making curry with extra carrots... your favourite."

The Hakurei shrine should be open today. I'll go make a donation.