/jp/ - Otaku Culture

A'IGHT BITCHES, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY MAIN MAN, SNOW. SO YOU SEE THIS FLY ASS MOTHERFUCKER LEADING THIS RESISTANCE GROUP, WITH THESE SCRAWNY PREPUBESCENT NERDS FAWNING ALL OVER HIM AND THIS HOT AS FUCK CHICK WITH A GUN HANGING OFF HIS ARM. YOU'RE THINKING, WHOA, HOLY SHIT, WHO IS THIS INTERGALACTIC SPACE BALLER AND HOW CAN I BE LIKE HIM? TOO FUCKING BAD, BECAUSE ANY CHANCE OF BEING LIKE HIM IS DASHED WHEN HE STARTS PUNCHING PEOPLE, ROBOT DOGS, AND FUCKING BEHEMOTHS TO DEATH WITH HIS BARE HANDS.

HOLY SHIT.

YOU FIND OUT NEXT THAT BITCHES BE JUMPIN UP LEFT AND RIGHT JUST TO DIE FOR THIS MOTHERFUCKER. NOT ONLY DO THEY WANT TO SLOB ON HIS KNOB, THEY WANT TO TAKE A BULLET FOR THIS CAT. BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, YOU FIND OUT THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAS A FIANCE. NOT ONE LIKE YOUR FUGLY, PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A WOMAN, HE'S GOT THIS SMOKING HOT CHICK WHO IS LIKE HALF OF HIS SIZE. YOU KNOW HIS DICK IS GETTIN SQUEEZED EVERY NIGHT BY THIS BITCH. HE INFILTRATES THIS FUCKING GIGANTIC FLYING BASE MONSTER TO GET HIS BITCH WHEN SUDDENLY IT FLIPS A SHIT AND SHE TURNS TO CRYSTAL. GODDAMN, BITCHES HE HAS FUCKED TURN INTO CRYSTAL. THAT'S HIGH ROLLIN. INSTEAD OF BEING A BITCH ABOUT IT AND CRYING IN THE CORNER, HE DECIDES THE ONLY PLAN OF ACTION IS TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF WHATEVER RUINED HIS DAY. SO HE STORMS UP TO THIS THING PEOPLE REVERE AS A GOD AND DECIDES HEY, FUCK YOUR SHIT.

LATER, WHEN EVERYONE BUT THIS BALLIN ASS NIGGA LEAVE BECAUSE THEY'RE AFRAID OF THE GOVERNMENT OR SOME SHIT, BUNCH OF PUSSIES, HE FIGHTS OFF LIKE THIRTY GODDAMN SOLDIERS BEFORE THESE TWO ICE BITCHES SHOW UP IN FRONT OF HIM. DOES HE LIE DOWN AND DIE JUST BECAUSE THEY FUCKED UP A BUNCH OF GUYS WITH GUNS? HELL NO. HE MAKES THOSE BITCHES SUCK ON HIS DICK AND THEN MAKES THEM TURN INTO A FUCKING MOTORCYCLE.

THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT. HE RIDES A GODDAMN MOTORCYCLE MADE OF BITCHES.

SHIT.