/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>46303491
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With my heart racing and no idea what to say, I just stared at her expressionlessly.

That's it, then? Just accept the prospect of death and continue living as if it doesn't exist for Keine, for the twins, for our friends…?

A fucking life of ignorance, then?

'A life with no regrets', she'd said way back on that day, yet if I'd known that pursuing such a life by their side would've brought with it so much anxiety, so much unending fear about every moment I'm not in my family's presence—the thought of myself letting something happen an entire different beast… Every day is another terror, another wondering if they’re or not okay. Just remembering those guns, I feel like puking…

Yet, would’ve I done anything different? Kissed her, proposed to her, loved our kids…?

Nope; I wouldn't have done anything different.

A heavy sigh leaves me, scratching my hair before letting my body fall on the cold dew, arms and legs outstretched, staring at the starry sky. “This sucks major ass…” I mutter, Kags softly sitting by my side. “Why didn't you just say 'killing is bad' or something? Would've hurt less…”

“I wouldn't lie to you, Mokou.” She fiddles with something before joining her sleeves. “Keine and her revolution are just another footnote in our infinite lives, you know? But to her, it might truly be the event that defines her life. Unlike us, it'll be her legacy, something that'll—in a good or bad way—outlive her. Killing so many for paranoia would taint her legacy red… We'll burn with the stars; we don't need to worry about such.” I sulk, closing my eyes, yet the rumble of truths settles deep inside. That does explain things…

In my mind, I see her holding our children, smiling as we feed them; as we watch them fly around the house and clean their mess; those quiet moments under sheets, just holding onto each other, watching the cradle like hawks…

… Keine and the twins will die before me. Their kids will too, and so forth. I'll see generation after generation perish, merely because I decided I wanted to burn with no regrets.

“I wonder if I'll regret this choice two thousand years from now…”

Kaguya looks at me for a lengthy moment, turns to the Moon and, a minute later, for no good reason, closes her eyes and starts humming this lullaby without meaning—no, not really meaningless: an abyssal feeling, one in my bones, in my blood… Remembers it quite well.

It's almost like a memory imprinted on this Hourai body.

I gawk at Kags, who soon reaches the ending of the cute tune, yet a poignant emptiness remains. My mouth moved to question her, but she spoke first. “… The wife of the bamboo cutter would usually sing it for me. It made me feel happy.” She narrows her eyes and, silently, I start to understand the 'indescribable' gaze. “I merely blinked, and enough time had passed for their skins to wither and their bones to turn to dust. I didn't get to see how they lived or how they died…” An answer without truly answering.

That’s Kaguya Houraisan for you…

I almost want to laugh, yet cannot bring myself to it, not while imagining that canvas Kags gave me painted with mine and Keine's colors, the twins' colors…

What a terrible, terrible fate.

I wonder if anyone else alive knows that angle of hers.

“Do what you can, Mokou. For some people…” She stops, a not-so-elegant yet very beautiful smile there. “…That's more than enough.” Seemingly satisfied, Kags gracefully gets up and cleans her pristine dress with a blinding light of gold, a simple smile against a neutral face looking at me. “Well, you should go back to the teacher. She must be missing you right now. Your children too… They want their 'cool mother'.”

“… Yeah, guess ya ri—w-wait, how do you…?!” I ask, my voice trembling and my cheeks sprinkled with red. How in hell does she know about that nickname?! My answer is a giggle, chest thumping with embarrassment as I awkwardly get up. Kags is already floating up… I mull about pursuing her, but decide to stick my hands inside my pockets and, sulking, mumble as I turn. “… Thanks, dude.”

“… Hm~guess we're saying I didn't go to Anon because I was too embarrassed. The rabbits will get so rowdy.” She talks to herself with that gentle smile, our eyes locking for a brief moment before she waves and, quickly, floats away under the moonlight.

Alone on the destroyed bamboo clearing, I sigh, looking up…

… Live every moment like it is the last; do what I can.

With a burst of flames, I disappear, my mind set on my destination.

It takes a few minutes to return home, the lights on and a loud, comforting shrill noise coming from inside; we don't have to hide the kids anymore~I unlock the door, heart pounding with scenarios and probabilities: what if someone tries to harm Kein—she can defend herself—what if someone tries to harm the twins—Keine will be with them; she can defend them… Suzu is a strong girl, as is Mystia. Smart—to a… very small degree in Mystia's case—and can survive long enough for someone to help…