/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>you will never be sold a coffee and bagel by a cute yeti in uniform at your local Tim Horton's
>you will never date an ogre that works nights and brings back entire trash bags of day-old items to stave off your timbit addiction
>you will never cuddle close with an anubis in an oversized hockey jersey while watching the NHL playoffs
>You will never make sweet sticky love to your maple dryad gf while she's dripping with maple syrup

>>14276717
Your fool parents were a the local hockey rink for an exciting game of puckstick. They were fucking each other's brains out like gosh darned animals as they often do under the stands, and when they came out sweaty and reeking of cum and poutine the place was empty, and the Zamboni was repairing the ice.

Knowing that the ice is at its most slippery while it's being refinished, the two sterling examples of human beings decided to slide around it on their shoes like disgusting heretics.

but the Zamboni stops for no one.

The Zamboni locked on, sensing the disturbance in the ice brought about by your parent's sins against Tim Horton and the hallowed plane of strife and holy battle that is the hockey rink.

Your mother's look of horror as the Zamboni stealthily approached, and took hold of her ankle. Your father's shout as she was dragged under by the sheer power of He Who Freezes.

The two embraced and accepted their fate, allowing themselves to be torn asunder by the terrible eldritch power sleeping withing the mysterious depths of the Zamboni.

Their only regret as the dark guardian consumed them was that their child was a massive faggot.

>>11664405
I would hug a Beaver all night long.