/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Not so good. Only arousing to some level due to the setting it's depicting but not really sold by the actual writing. Muddled in parts, and you missed a lot of possibilities by ignoring the spastic, shallow breathing from the asthma attack, sending ripples all over her pale breasts. Could also have played up the vagina contraction play from choking, that's a lot of the appeal for breathing play in sex.

If the end goal was domination, the start should have reflected that as well. Reads as admiring something beautiful and that must be protected, not as a pulsating flesh toy to be used and discarded, less than human and meant for satiating a quick desire. It was really harmed by the shift in tone.

Besides that, pacing and length. Build up to the climax instead of describing without emotional context. But I'll let that go as it's obviously a short, for the hell of it, piece of erotica.

Overthinking mediocre fanfiction, but maybe you like criticism? Writing porn is hard.

Tomes of unusual size

Patchy thread?

Patchy thread.

please, un-ruin Patchouli for me, I just dreamed that she was a pig disgusting 3D girl- a chubby, acne-ridden, ugly cunt with a miserable attitude and a lazy eye.

>>6437421

this.

although I do sometimes fap to other things like 3D

>>6413431

Actually I'm not too upset, since I previously had the FLY AWAY NOW / I WANT YOUUUUU combination of songs from P&S stuck in my head. Some '80s synth pop is just what the doctor ordered.

That doesn't mean I'm not going to post some flatchouli, though.

>>6326552
2nd

is now in session

>>5811749
The AN experience is way better if you don't go out during the day and just lurk hotels at night. I met some of the coolest people just sitting in the DT table area after midnight. Only go to dealer's at open to get rare things and close to get cheap things. Usually avoid AA. Really, only buy a sunday pass.

I'd really like to go to Otakon, but boo hoo. I'm a poor Canadian. ;_;

>>5638296

flatchouli is loev.

patchouli has rekindled my interest in books.

flatchouli is best patchouli.

Flat is best

>>5229168

better?

I love how flat she is.

Flatchouli is best Patchouli.

contributing flatchouli

>>4826730

Flatchouli is the only patchouli in my heart.

pettan pettan, mochipettan

Sneak into Patchouli's library.

Die.

patchy no tits.

please, I'd like to keep my mental image where Patchouli has the delicate, sweet smell of rose petals.


Not a hikki that smells like farts and sweaty oily hair.

I'd Mukyuu it.