/jp/ - Otaku Culture

HI... I'M JARED FOGLE, EX FATTY AND SPOKESMAN OF SUBWAY®. THE OTHER DAY, WHILE CRUISING AROUND IN MY FOGLE MOBILE AND SHOWING OFF THIS SET OF GIGANTIC PANTS I CARRY AROUND, I STOPPED IN TO GRAB A NUTRITIONAL INFORMATION BROCHURE AT MY LOCAL SUBWAY® RESTAURANT AND FOLLOW A REDUCED CALORIE DIET BY EATING TWO SUBWAY® SUBMARINE SANDWICHES A DAY. IT WAS WHILE I WAS DOING THIS THAT I SPOTTED QUITE A DELICIOUS LOOKING LADY PERSON. HER SUCCULENT OVEN ROASTED BREAST AND SELECTION OF A SIX INCH HAM SUB WITH ONLY SIX GRAMS OF FAT INSTANTANEOUSLY FORCED MY SPASMING CHIPOTLE CHEESE STEAK TO HASTILY ENLARGE TO CELESTIAL PROPORTIONS. UPON APPROACHING THE DAME IN QUESTION, HER EYES WERE INSTANTLY DRAWN TO MY OMNIPOTENT FOGLE MISSILE AS IT BURST THROUGH MY FINELY CRAFTED SIZE 34 TROUSERS. WASTING NO TIME, I SWIFTLY DISROBED HER WITH MY PREHENSILE PELVIC PORPOISE AND SLAMMED MY VEINY LOIN BRONTOSAURUS INTO HER INSTINCTIVELY DRENCHED CHASM. I SCRUPULOUSLY DESECRATED EVERY INCH OF HER VIOLET CROTCH CAVERN WITH MY 6 FOOT MEATBALL SUB WHILE TEARING OFF THE FINE PRINT ON ALL THE NUTRITIONAL INFORMATION BROCHURES AND ORGANIZING APPEARANCES ON OPRAH AND LARRY KING LIVE. I UNLOADED A GEYSER OF 160,000* POUNDS OF FOGLE FLUID INTO HER RAVISHED CRATER WITH ENOUGH FORCE TO SEND HER FLYING HEADFIRST THROUGH A PANE OF PERSPEX AND INTO A TUB OF SHREDDED LETTUCE. SHE CAME SO HARD HER SCREAMS CURDLED THE MAYONNAISE. I GUARANTEE IT. *(TO GET AN IDEA OF HOW MUCH 160,000 POUNDS IS, IT IS EQUAL TO 14,545 SKATEBOARDS, 10,000 MARCHING BAND TUBAS, 1,568 SETS OF ENCYCLOPEDIAS, 492 BLACK BEARS, 426 GORILLAS, AND 184 GRAND PIANOS)