/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>46336763
My family sat around the table, the tension thick in the air. I hadn't called my family together for a meeting like this ever before so no doubt their minds were swirling with questions. I paced back and forth under their gazes. Everyone was here. Kato, Daisuke, Fumiko. All I had to do now was just give him the speech I had thought of ahead of time and accept whatever consequences came my way. I stood still, faced my family and began to speak. But no words came out. All the words that I was so sure of were nowhere to be found as the silence in the room continued unopposed. Kato shifted in his seat, about to speak up when I said the first thing to come to my mind.

“I’m sorry, but I’ve been lying to all of you for years!” I blurted out, surprising everyone in the room, including myself. I bowed my head, making sure not to smack the table.

“You all should know by now how I’ve been working with Keine and her plan to integrate youkai into the village. I’ve been helping for a while now” I track my gaze across the table. Kato seemed understanding but a bit perplexed, Daisuke and Fumiko both shared looks of confusion, and my parents seemed ready to be disappointed in me.

“But they’re dangerous, why do they have to live here? We have to avoid them else they’ll hurt us.” Daisuke pouts. My father nodded along, wizened face showing his views on such a thing.

“I know what you’ve all been told. But I trust Keine knows what she’s doing. She wouldn’t be doing this if it was going to expose anyone to harm. Youkai, they’re capable of living alongside humanity. I should know because” I breathe in. Here it is, no stepping back from this “I’ve been friendly with them for years now”

I’m expecting disgusted gasps and groans, but I’m greeted with nothing. Fumiko and Daisuke look at me, hurt and confused. Kato’s mouth held open in shock, Foreseeing a dozen questions being launched at me in the next few seconds, I kept up my momentum “ It was years ago. Before I met you, Kato. I started to get involved with youkai. I was curious about them, and ignored the warnings to not engage. Eventually, I became friends with some of them, worked with them. I’ve kept this from all of you for years. I apologize to all of you” I bowed again, not wanting to look up. Maybe them I could ignore the husband I lied to, or the children that had unwittingly played with youkai that came to visit.

Kato was the first to speak up. “What exactly have you been doing for them?” It’s impossible to not feel the sting of the betrayal in his voice.

I take off my glasses and shine them with a sleeve, if only to give me a moment to compose my thoughts. What was he thinking about me right now? “Some print jobs, being a friend to them, listen-ugh. I’m telling you this because you need to know. Things are going to change. The old way of doing things, of putting a barrier between us and them and hoping it stays up isn’t going to work anymore. I just felt it was right to come clean now” I looked up. My childern still confused and hurt. Why wouldn’t they? Their own mother admitted to breaking the Big Rule, the one drilled into the heads of all children from the moment they can talk. Kato still couldn’t settle on an emotion and struggled to find words.

There was so much I wanted to admit to them, but couldn’t. The identites of the youkai I worked with, but I don’t think Aya and Mamizou would have liked that. How Yukari’s plotting put them all in danger, even if I didn’t know what it is. So much had changed these past few months and the quiet masquerade I had helped maintain was falling apart. I could just hope they would understand all the lies I had fed them over the years.

"Kids, why don't you go off and play for the day? You're free from all chores. Just keep this a secret, please" Fumiko and Daisuke get up from the table, and give me one last look before they head off outside. At least children were as easily distracted as always. That should give them time to digest the news.

Kato seemed to found his nerve as he watched them leave "I wonder how this affect them. Being around all these youkai" His tone making clear he was avoiding what he really wanted to say. Oh Kato. There were so many times in the past I wanted to admit this to you, but the tiem never came. Can you forgive me for hiding so much from you over these years?

But I knew I did the right thing admitting this. Either a new age of Gensokyo would arrive and they would have found out anyway, or I would be gone and my family would have some answers. Either way, there was no going back.