/jp/ - Otaku Culture

BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS I'M FUCKING DEPRESSED AND SAD AND STUFF
My entire existence is a joke. I'm obsessed with things no one else knows about. My inner thoughts cannot be expressed to anyone, even to (You). It's useless. It's all useless.
If only there was a single person, one single person who I could open up to, that would be incredible. It wouldn't magically fix all of life's problems, but as it stands 1 is infinitely bigger than 0. As long as I'm a zero, I'm stuck in place, unable to move forward. The sins of my past continue to claw at me. All because I have no one to share them with. Said person will laugh at me, tell me my sin is something people shouldn't even care about. It's like feeling bad about stepping on an ant except that feeling remains with you forever. I hate it. I hate it so fucking much. I hate it so much it chokes me and torments me in my dreams. If only I were normal, if only I had even a single friend this sin wouldn't exist. I would be "human" as the rest of you are. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH. Again I'm claiming to not be human. Biologically I must be human, but in my heart I'm something else. Not furniture either. Furniture have a use. I'm useless. Super fucking useless. Like a monster. Monsters don't exist in this world at all and that's exactly how I feel. It's like I don't exist. Haha that's right. Do I even have any proof that I actually exist here? None. Because I know the alternative is to believe my subjective POV, which will result in me doubting literally everything. That's a very unhealthy mindset. So I must pretend the opposite is true. The world exists but I do not. Yeah.
And now I've calmed down a bit. Thanks for reading my blog. Every day I pray for a miracle, but no miracles have happened just yet. So why do I keep praying?