/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>15287183
>>15287193
>>15287208

A young succubus stands her ground against the evil Paladin girl who is holding the boy the Succubus is in love with hostage. A clash between the two breaks out and you watch the Paladin slash her blade at the nimble Succubus who easily dodges her blows and throws charms back at her, the entire ordeal accompanied with several loud explosions in the background. On second thought you realize, those loud explosions are not coming from your TV but appear to be your Kitsune neighbor’s makeshift barricade exploding by a few well-placed lightning bolts. It appears your Ryu neighbor has recovered from her earlier ‘incident’ and is back angrier than ever.

As you consider which of the two scenes are more interesting to watch, you notice the fight on your television has already ended with the Paladin girl running away crying. The young succubus runs happily at the now visibly unhappy and shaking boy before starting to hastily starting to undress both their clothes, something you put a stop to by switching from the clearly not a ‘Childrens Show Channel’ to the 24Paladin channel currently featuring a cooking show with a Paladin and a Yeti. As you ponder how a Yeti with such big meaty paws manages to handle a knife so well, you feel several taps in your side, performed with surgical precision by a certain freeloading Mantis to catch your attention.

The same Mantis you have painstakingly attempted to start a conversation with multiple times. You have tried various subjects, starting with the weather, to the warzone in your backyard, about the latest Tanuki scheme in your neighborhood, to the meaning of life and ending with the weather as you ran out of subjects to talk about. Unfortunately the Mantis currently nestled next to you, has so far refused to utter a single word, preferring to use simple sign language to display her wishes. Yet you hold the fullest belief that the freeloader in your home has finally decided to make you feel accomplished by saying her first words to you, like a young Kikimora in her crib playing with her newly given toy broom and happily saying the word ‘maid’ to her proud parents for the first time. Beliefs which are utterly crushed as you turn your head to give the Mantis the attention she so craves, seeing her instead lazily pointing her scythe at the remote, while further nuzzling her head in your side.

Cracking your brain at the mystery of the Mantis pointing to the remote, you first ponder the idea of the Mantis wanting you to increase the volume of the television, currently featuring an explanation by a Yeti on producing a strawberry pie. However, you suspect that the lewd creature simply wants you to put back the channel to where it once was. Something you believe is not a good idea, eyeing both the still nuzzling-in-your-side Mantis and looking outside at your Ryu and Kitsune neighbors currently circling each other like Jinko’s. You recall once forgetting to turn your TV off before going shopping, leading to two unexpected neighbor visitors when arriving back home. Said neighbors which were looking at a rather unsanitary show, holding an equally unsanitary contest. It took weeks to get the smell out of your couch.

Nevertheless, instead of changing the channel for your impatient guest, you ponder what to do next. You recall having the idea to introduce your guest to your neighbors; perhaps this strange Mantis could get along with your equally strange neighbors and more importantly; prevent them from causing more damage for a short while.

Please remember to headpat your Mantis daily as they may start to display deviant behavior otherwise.

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