/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Hey, dig the wax outta your ears and come sit with me over here! These 2 liters of scotch ain't drinking themselves. What, you don't think the sheriff should be drinking at Bar Brawl Babe Central when there's justice to swerve...? Let me tell ya a story that happened in this very same bar, sit down now.
Good boy.

Couple of months back, this dashin' little troublemaker walked in here, acting like he owned the place. Swooces next to me, on that stool... where there WAS a stool back then... starts flattering me, trying to put on the moves. I tell him 'sonny, you're five years too early and I'm three whiskeys too sober for this head-scratchy chin-rubby mambo of yours'. I wasn't playing ball, what do you think I am? Some kinda easy-come easy-go bim-bo? I guess the pink hair ain't a very good canvas, huh.

Anyway, the fella says he's not staying long, he's with a convoy for a few days and asks me to the nearest barn to crash into... fancies himself a suave bandito too, offers me a roll in the hay. Well, I smack him on the back of the head and knock his hat right off. Says he was just jesting, but all of you outsiders walk into a monster bar and think 'I can get laid with any of these kittens and bitches no-probs'. Don't you~?

After a few minutes more of shooting the shit, he makes an offhand remark and turns to leave the saloon... sadly for him, the remark was about the dog-eat-dog world. A rookie mistake when that cunt Alicia McGreggor is around. Her wolf ears perk up across the bar, she hides her face behind her poker hand... a full house, by the way, don't ask me how I remember that but don't remember how many points my badge has.

So the eyepatched wolf rolls a bottle through the floor into the bandito's path. He tumbles for a moment. The back of his head hits the floor so hard, and the entire bar goes silent, except for Alicia's chair that creaks back from her exertion. Wait... oooh, you don't know? I guess fresh meat like yourself wouldn't. The bar's always had aaaa... how do I put it...? I guess... 'Three second rule.'