/jp/ - Otaku Culture

I wish I knew how to learn music theory so I could play pretty songs like these.

>at work
>drank coffee for the first time that morning
>drank three cups to make sure it worked
>suddenly my stomach feels like someone has filled it with dirt and is trying to make a balloon animal with it
>literally feel the shit straining against my rectum, as if it was possessed by some sort of demon and wanted freedom from its thousand year prison
>have to walk all the way down the hall with my ass and thighs clenched tightly
>by the time i get to the bathroom, i'm sweating profusely and grunting loudly with every step
>go to the nearest stall
>notice there is someone in the stall next to it, but idgaf
>yank down shorts and attempt to slam my ass on to the toilet seat
>ass slips off due to the sickness caused by my ass sweat
>fall off, one of my arms goes into the toilet, my ass slips under the stall divider
>i can't control it
>shit actually explodes out of my ass, covering the entire stall
>it's occupant starts screaming
>I start screaming in return, but I can't fucking stop
>goes on for about half a minute, shit erupting from my ass forcefully the entire time
>finally it dies down, ass still sputtering and oozing a bit
>person rushes out of the stall, almost slips on the shit, then dashes out of the bathroom
>lie on the ground for five or ten minutes, just trying to recover
>finally, get up and look in the stall to inspect the damage
>it is completely lined with shit, you can even make out the outline of the previous occupant against the wall
>there is a huge gooey pile where my ass was sticking through, probably weighed at least five pounds
>wipe my ass as fast as i can, still takes a long time
>terrified someone would walk in at any moment

What touhou do you want to read you a bedtime story?

Have you ever seen anything spooky?

Have you ever seen a real youkai?

I wish I could dance like this.
Do you wish that you could dance like this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6aRvVTSC0I

>>>/sp/23327699

They're bullying us again.

I don't like women very much, especially not the ones that migrated here from /cgl/.

In my experience 4chan women are very sadistic and cruel people. They don't exhibit the traits of kindness and love that I expect from a /jp/ poster. They can't understand underlining philosophy of /jp/ either, at best they would be an outsider. Some normal with a social life that just hops in here for a quick laugh at the NEETs.

What does the average woman know about isolation? What do they know about overcoming loneliness and learning to love a life of solitude through sheer willpower? They just can't comprehend these kinds of things because they are so inherently social.

No

can i buy a van and live in it inside a forest or will government be grump at me?

i dont want trouble

Do you ever wish you were an Asian instead of a hairy white pig?

I do what makes me happy every day

It's not nothing!

please do not touch yourself today

will you do this for me?

I love you and when you touch yourself you are being unfaithful to me and it makes me feel sad

please do not do that today. just for today. please

When human ejaculation occurs the benis pours out a white liquid called the semen. This contains the souls of babies and that is why the semen is white, which is the same color as souls.

If you spill the seed of your benis without filling a womb then the souls of these babies are forced are forced to wander the earth for eternity.

Do you know where I can find audio clips or videos of Japanese women with nice voices saying nice things to me in a calming voice?

I have very bad insomnia and I'm a little afraid of the dark so I can't sleep unless I hear someone talking to me so I put lots of audio clips on my ipod to listen to when I go to sleep. I've run out of things to listen to though and sleep is getting harder and harder every night.

please respond

I was upset today and I yelled "kono yaro" at someone who was bullying me.

Have you ever cursed in Japanese at another person?

I was upset today and I yelled "kono yaro" at someone who was bullying me.

Have you ever cursed in Japanese at another person?

Please hold me, /jp/.

Just for tonight.

>>9048539
>>9048547
O-okay...thanks for responding, guys.

>>8669442