/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>12167382
Therapy does nothing. Drugs do nothing. I think it boils down more to my core being than my brain chemistry; life is pointless if you're just working all day and using up your little free time to try to do the enormous amount of things you plan to do with your free time. Backlogs become so huge that they become intimidating and something to procrastinate on. I've just always thought that life in general requires way more maintenance than it's worth. It's far too much effort, and far too much work, and the effort and work don't balance out in the end. I've felt that way since i was about 7 or so, and ever since have wished I never existed.

In the end, I've considered the possibility of it all being a negative feedback loop; I feel life isn't worth the amount of work required to sustain it because I don't find life's joys are sufficient pay, but I don't find life's joys sufficient pay because of the work required. Because i don't find life enjoyable, there's less incentive to even bother trying to enjoy myself. Something along those lines, possibly, but possibly not.

>>12167385
Semi related, I often wish that I could take the place of someone who died unwillingly. For example, if I see a news story of a shooting, I think to myself how I'd love to have let that person life and take their place. Most recently was that Korean boat tipping accident.