/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>46683742
what does it mean if every time i've done large doses of acid or dissociatives koishi has appeared in some way or fashion? i agree with what's being implied, but it's getting scary levels of familiar for me. she appears in my dreams, she tells me she's me and i'm her, and not in the generic canon that typically implies that being without consciousness = without conscience, but in a selfless, lovefilled kind of way of someone who wishes to be no more than witness consciousness. regardless of past drug use, taking drugs made me realize the way i am. in this way, the bear in the woods became obvious when i finally understood (yet also will never be able to adequately put into words) what ego death is in itself. it fills me with a desire to take more (LSD the absolute most), but i can't decide if it's exactly the safest. it's helped me accept myself, reality (as in the reality as humans know), and filled me with a profound sense of interconnection to everyone and everything, grounding me to my own experience while letting me forgive myself for the helpless way i used to feel and came to understand things (in ignorance). it taught me mindfulness in a world where i otherwise wanted to constantly kill myself, where i hated myself for virtually no reason, where nothing had any point whatsoever - and honestly, i still struggle with the thought loops, but at least i have some kind of power over them now, a much more profound sense of self awareness that becomes the color life is painted in.. the best way to put it, is that the mind is a mountain. we carve and wear it down with our thoughts, like water over millions of years. when ego death comes, it is like snow has covered it instead of rain, and we can no longer see ourselves. but, when one cannot rip themselves off a path their mind is so dead set in, flowing down with the gravity of that which has been carved against our will, like an avalanche our guts spill and things are fucked forever. i am scared of this happening to me as i go down this path.. perhaps it'll just be sledding forever for me, but i can't also say i don't see speaking from within this analogy that something awful, terrible could happen. all i know is that koishi is nothing but pure love and i am happy to be her friend. thank you koishi.

>>46361170
I want to cum in ZUN-art Koishi's fluffy, sea-foam-colored hair but NOT in fighting game Koishi's