/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>46046547
—
'I don't know.'

The words popped into my mind, but to say them was an unsurmountable struggle. Why?! have hundreds of years of experience on talking! I tried to spill it, but nothing came out… Mystia kept staring with those big, expectant eyes, her posture calm and collected—somehow, all that filled me with a titanic rage. Why should I tell her these shameful words? She knows nothing about me, about my life! We shouldn't be even having this conversation, and the fury bubbling back is so goddamn expected—why?!

Clutching hard and tighter to my children, a drop of sweat cascaded down my forehead—my leg abruptly began rocking up and down. I'm tense? Why am I tense? Mystia is not competition, she's not a threat, she's not gonna take my children away from me like Yukari and Seiga threatened… B-But it doesn't stop there; no one ever will! I'll protect them, I'll hold them and never again I'll be let—

—Mochi and Aki sob quietly, their weeps yanking me out of my thoughts like an old fisherman reeling in a large carp. I hadn't noticed, deep in thought, but I was hurting them with my intense hold…

Fuck…

Mouth slightly agape, looming down over them like a shadow, pure white hair surrounding us, I sighed, feeling crushed on the inside for some reason.

What would Keine do?

“… I don't know.” It was mumbled while, gently, my hold on the twins loosened. “I-I can't say 'I'm sorry', he's just a baby, he wouldn't understand, and… I can't heal him… I just—” I shook my head and wanted to give him a bear hug the moment our eyes met. “… I just don't want to do that ever again.” And much to the dismay of my sleepyhead, Aki, I did give Mochi a big hug.

—a giggle comes from Mystia, and I open an eye to look at her, tense. Why's laughing…:? “I think, Mokou-san, that's the best thing to do now.” H-Huh? I blink, my face sunk on my baby's chest; his wings flap up and down, caressing the sides of my head. “It's just a swell; it'll heal naturally—it means nothing, and he'll forget it by evening… But the lasting wound will remain with us that dealt the blow, right?” Her brows furrow, her body quivers slightly, and her smile turns bitter. Understanding soon washes over me, and I feel sober. “You can move on, Mokou-san, like he will do. You hurt your son by accident; it came from a place of love—maybe too much love—and your wounds can be mended. Better, you can learn with them; learn how to never commit them again… In situations like these, it's the best anyone can do.”

I gulp an ice block down, looking at my son in my arms, then at Mystia. “You…?”

“Some wounds never heal.” It sounded final.

I nod, turning back to Mochi, who now stares at me with a half-smile as his fat little hands try to reach for my hair. “… What do you mean with 'too much love'?” I ask, sitting the baby sparrow on my lap. His tiredness seems to easily fade as he cutely plays with his wings.

She fiddles with her hands, looking for the right words; her wings move in a rather familiar pattern, and a tinge of jealousy burns inside—it's the same movements the twins do sometimes. “… Love is an incredible thing, but like water, too much of it kills, just as too little.” She turns to face me, her smile unsure but unflinching. “Mokou-san, I can tell you love them very much… but how much is too much?” Aya's face melting, Seija's screaming, Mochi's eyes full of terror while staring at me… “Too little love, and they were tossed to their deaths; too much… Ugh, s-sorry if I'm not being too helpful; I don't know a lot of you a-and am just going by what I’ve seen these last days and what Keine-san told—

“It's okay,” I hurriedly reply, though my mind is a mess with her last words, something cold spreading inside. “I… I'll talk to Keine about it when we have the time…” I pout for a moment, but sigh—move on with him; mend those wounds and learn from them… Argh, how's that not obvious to an immortal?!—and continue, “Mystia… T-Thanks for the talk. It helped a lot.”

She blinks, perplexed, then her face beams bright red and her wings move up and down, a perfect mirror to the twins' demonstration of joy. “Don't worry, it was my pleasure, Mokou-san!”

“C-Cool.” I nodded, lost, feeling compelled to continue talking. “… You knew Keine's my bride?”

“Oh! I didn't~! That's so cute; you two form a nice pair.”

For the next few minutes, we make small talk and I get to know more about Mysita, my body relaxing and mind soothing…

Before I had noticed, the emptiness was gone.

Nestled on my left arm, her face partially hidden by her wings, Aki had fallen asleep. After chasing a fly for a few minutes, Mochi dozed off on my lap. Mystia would sometimes glance at them but nothing else, always fiddling with her hands…

Some wounds never heal, huh…

The front door suddenly opened, and Keine swiftly entered. “Sup—”

“I was informed that the Hieda clan is taking down the letters and censoring anything about them.” She said it plainly. I blinked…

… Then smiled.

Hook, line and sinker~