/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>14537538

>>14487332
>>14487328
>>14487339
>Get captured by Red Dragon
>You're in the nude, your horse is fricassee
>You can see the nectarine honey dripping down her inner thighs as she forces your legs apart
>Johnny is as flaccid as an earthworm
>Until you smell her
>The musky, feminine perfume of her estrus
>She grabs one of your hands and puts it on her scaldingly hot stomach
>You can feel a firmness in there
"It's going to be ours, Husband. You will be faithful."
>Start literally sweating bullets as she grasps your member in one claw and slides you into the sumptuous lips of her sex
>You're both sweating from the heat of your bodies and her flames
>Each thrust of her hips brings you deeper into her, feeling as if lips are on all sides of your cock, kissing you
"Go ahead, don't you want to fertilize my egg?"
>Fuck no, reminding yourself that she killed twenty of your best men and is literally an evil cunt of a dragon
>She grins, pressing her body against yours, her breasts jiggling as she grinds into you
>Blows embers onto your neck as she laps at your sweat-covered neck
"It's cute, how they always fight it. But I can feel your cock twitching inside of me. Show it to me, that lovely face of yours."
"The face that told me to make you mine, your despair filled visage."
>Spit in her face, she pauses with the vaginal flexes momentarily, then sighs softly
"I suppose you're not going to cooperate. You're going to give me a daughter one way or the other, Mr. Brave-Sir-Knight."
>Lifts herself off your cock, leaving only the glans inside, your member is as sad to leave her as her pussy is to let it go
"Try... THIS!"
>Slams her hips down onto yours, you can feel your cock's head pushing through the cushioned ring of her cervix
"There's no escaping now. Just relax give me your seed."
>Her muscles undulate and pulse, waves of pleasure travelling upwards until they collect in a final cataclysmic orgasm
>She smiles, panting after you're spent
"I win, Darling <3"

>>14353230
Nah to keep true to her it'd be all three heads on a big buff cheeto puff level Hellhound because I'm a faggot who loves licking big hairy ballsacks because my name is Jerry Smith.

>>14290263
>Be Foolish Samurai
>Aku-chan keeps trying to court you and every time you make her go away she shapeshifts and flees, laughing with that "HAAAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" laugh of hers while taunting you
>Go to nearby village, she reappears
>I'm-Getting-Real-Tired-Of-Your-Shit
>WAIT! DON'T DO THIS!
>THINK ABOUT IT FOR A MOMENT, SAMURAI!
>WE'LL FIGHT AND THEN I'LL TURN INTO A BIRD OR SOMETHING AND LAUGH AT YOU AND WE WON'T SEE EACH OTHER FOR MAYBE A WEEK!
>WHY NOT... JUST GO ON ONE DATE WITH ME!
>Sheathe your sword, sighing
>What's the worst thing that could happen?
>She orders some pizza, inviting you to her lair
>The delivery guy is 30 minutes late
>Gets ZIP ZAP ZOOPITY ZAPPED into the Oomukade Pit
>She sees your face assuring you he'll be okay... maybe
>Eat pizza with her, there's an awkward silence, you're getting too chivalrous for this shit
>See some pizza sauce on her face, wipe it off
>Her eyebrows flare up
>WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS, SAMURAI?
>You tell her that even if she's an evil overlord it's not good if she dirties her face, especially for her public image
>Goes BEET FUCKING RED
>Turns into a bolt of flaming darkness and flies into her room, locking the door
>You can hear her furiously schlicking, moaning out stuff like
>HNNNNNNNNGH! YOU FOOLISH SAMURAI!
>YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF MEEEE!
>PUT ON SOME MODERN THREADS YOU HUSSIE!
>Be walking in the wilderness weeks later
>Shadow-Ninja manifests
>It's a grey and red kimono, they insist you wear it at their Lady's command
>Put it on
>You can hear her high school-level "KYAAAAA" at you wearing her hand-stitched kimono from thousands of miles away

>MFW I literally cannot write romance without it being more pretentious than James Cameron's Titanic

>>14257578
>Having to go into work to THAT
>Cu Siths and Cait Siths being the shitty bitches who demand either milk or any non-cocoa based drink
>Bicorns lamenting the fact their husbands don't like polygamy
>Devil Bugs getting into the kitchen, into the bathroom, attacking customers and hissing when you break out the RAID
>Matangos trying to dope up men and turn them into FUNGUY from Crono Cross
>AND THAT'S JUST IN THE FIRST TEN MINUTES
>MFW