/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Ive been studying jap since a month before summer ended. I feel like shit rn, all i have been doing is wanikani anki and tae kim and im not good enough to read and i cant even enjoy activities like vidya or watching anime any more because i just keep telling myself that im wasting time i could be spending studying. This feels like shit but i have to keep going because i know if i give up now im going to fall into an episode of grief over how hard i worked and how i just gave it all up. WTF do i do to fix my motivation problem so its not just me studying for the sake of studying? I have tried joining discord servers but i keep getting ignored because i dont know how to socialize, and as i said before im not good enough to read. Does it get better after you have the skillz to read and i just have to power through it untill then or am i doomed?