/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Hello guys. It's been a while. I think my life as a NEET/hiki is finally coming to an end. I've been at it for almost 10 years now. It's been getting harder and harder to enjoy simple things like video games and anime/manga but I've managed to hang on. I'm friendless and disconnected, haven't left my house for years and that's really okay with me, I think I could have made it this way.

But recently I've been having very strange emotional issues I've never had before. I don't know what it is and it's a bit difficult to describe but whenever I recall certain times in my life as a shut-in, it can be any moment or memory but as an example I'll use my most recent thought. Yesterday I heard a song on a radio stream that reminded me of an anime I watched about 3 years ago. When the song came on and I started to think about that time I watched the show it felt like someone had shot me in my chest. The feeling I can only describe as severe guilt or loss. These feelings are so intense that my breathing gets shallow and my stomach knots up and I'm almost brought to tears.

This has never happened to me before until about a month ago and it's happening more and more frequently. Whenever I recall something like a game I played or manga I read/etc I get this crushing feeling. It hurts, it really does. I will probably start drinking or doing drugs soon because I just can't handle it anymore. Maybe I will kill myself if it keeps up.

>>9722951
its wearing off now and I feel really depressed just like last time

>>9573253
she wants to eat you