/jp/ - Otaku Culture

"Oh, why do they always go for my hair?" Yamame grumbled to herself. I looked over and watched her try and get her hair back into its usual state, which was hard when there was so much of it. "You included." She added when she noticed me. "Actually, especially you. You always run your fingers through it when we're-" I decided to cut her off right then by reaching over the table and ruffling said hair again. "Oh, for-" She slapped my hand away. "Stop that, you snake!" She reprimanded me. "What is it about my hair that has you so fascinated? Honestly..." She got back to work. "Maybe I should start doing that to you, hmm? See how you like it!" I laughed a little, and she frowned at me. "This is no laughing matter! My hairstyle is very important and - And..." She watched me try to conceal some more laughter, and finally she cracked a bit of a smile.

And then I asked her why she'd gotten so flustered about Ruka's comment. "H-Huh? You're going on about this too?" She asked me, sounding a little dismayed. I didn't break eye contact as I nodded. "J-Just, um..." I said her name sternly. "Look, when I was young, I really liked the idea of having kids one day. And then, I grew up and forgot about it." And now? "And now...Um, I hadn't spent as much time as I should have with my sisters, and it's been coming back to me." I raised an eyebrow at that. "Look, it's just something that Ruka's teasing me with!" She cried, finally getting her hair back to some semblance of control.

I already wanted to ruffle it again. I didn't even want to attend the party. I wanted to go home with Yamame right now. I wanted to ask her to marry me right now. I didn't do any of those things, and instead, I looked up at the sprawling heights of the Hot Springs Town, the way it curved around the cavern's walls and slopes, and exhaled slowly. Then, I asked Yamame what she would do if she had kids.

"H-Huh?" She asked me nervously. I repeated the question and told her that I was curious. "You won't laugh?" She sounded tentative. Never, I replied. "Um, I always imagined being married and taking them to see different places..." I felt like there was something in my chest, battering on the walls to my heart. "I guess I always kind of wanted to have lots of kids. Enough that they'd never feel lonely." At that moment, there was nothing else in the world except myself and Yamame Kurodani. "Since, er, that's what it was like for me. I have so many family members that I hardly know what to do with myself sometimes, and I love knowing that I can help them with anything they need." Hoarsely, I asked her if she thought about who she was married to in those fantasies, and she looked back at me for a moment before her eyes shifted to the side. "Um, I didn't really when I was young...But, W-Well, I might have started to, just a little..." She glanced back at my face for a split second, then back down at her hands.

At that point, I was just staring at her. I think I felt a tear rolling out of my eye, and her face shifted to concern and worry. "Oh, I'm sorry..." She mumbled, reaching across the table to grasp my hand. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. I know - With your family and..." I sniffled slightly. Yes, I'd never known what a large family was like. I'd still not quite gotten over what I'd lost, and I wasn't sure if I ever would, truly. But...I'd found Reimu, the big sister I'd wanted. I'd been welcomed by Yamame's family and that knowledge still made me feel so happy that I wanted to burst. And to hear that Yamame wanted a big family herself...I wasn't exactly the brightest person in the world, but I tried my best, and I thought that I could figure out what she wasn't saying when she said that she was starting to imagine who she was married to. And that...

I was fine, I managed to say. Really, really, fine.

"O-Oh, um..." Yamame stammered a little, and I finally swallowed and stood, helping her out of her seat. We should get going to the party, I said. "Are you sure?" She asked, and I nodded, inhaling sharply. "Okay, er, lead the way?" I took her hand tightly, then headed off in the direction that Ruka had gone in. I wasn't sure how many times I'd done it by now, but once the crowds had thinned out, I stopped in an alleyway so I could hug Yamame again. "A-Again?" She stammered, but I noticed that she was definitely hugging me back with the same tightness. I whispered a thank you for answering me truthfully into her ear. "W-Well, I don't want to lie to you, so..." If anything, that made me tighten even more. "Oof! Are you sure you're okay?" She asked me, sounding slightly strained.