/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Flirting seems like a misnomer. It's more like an absense of flirting. If you like someone in Japan, there are a couple of different ways of showing it and/or approaching them, none of which really resemble flirting in the west.

1. Nanpa (the "pickup")
First off, only guys do nanpa; in the rare case that girls do it, it's called gyaku-nan ("reverse nanpa"), but I never heard of gyaku-nan actually happening, it always seemed like it was more of an amusing theoretical idea, rather than something girls really did.

Nanpa only refers to the case when you don't know the other person at all, and you want to pick them up. Nanpa is direct. "You're cute. What's your name? Do you have time? Let's go somewhere." That is the classic script of nanpa. It can be shortened to just: "Kawaii yo. Jikan aru?" If you hear that, you're being nanpa-ed. Of course, if you are a non-Asian foreigner, you will probably never hear that, because Japanese guys are too shy to try and nanpa a white or black woman. Most Japanese guys are too shy to nanpa at all. If you ask a Japanese if he has ever done nanpa, he'll probably say, "ZOMG! No way! I'm too embarrassed!" since nanpa is direct, and mostly, if you are Japanese and you like someone, you embark on a series of subtle, indirect stealth manoeuvres, because liking prohibits action, especially for women, but also for men.