/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Monsters really do look at a happy little village of normal humans just living their life, being grateful for the bountiful harvest on the farms this year and letting their children all go and laugh at the funny bard dressed like a clown on his stage dancing and singing and they go "THIS NEEDS MORE SEX WE NEED TO INJECT SEX AND LUST AND CUM INTO EVERY FIBER OF THIS" and then they invade the village, destroy property "hunting husbands" and commit many acts of breaking and entering, they transform the crop fields that the farmers made through hard work and were proud of into tentacle forest and patches that now grow more monster plants, and fruits and mushroom flora shaped like penises, they transform all the normal human women there into more of themselves and groom all the children, and instead of the bard dancing and singing on the stage he's now being raped and there's a bogie singing about sex and only that. They also replace all the rustic village architecture with black buildings that have bat wings and red eyes and the sky turns black. In the village school they now only teach about sex instead of how to count and how to do anything else. They no longer eat beef or chicken or make stews, because all the farm animals have turned into girls as well, instead they eat cum and breast milk and have sex while "eating". They transform every aspect of life into depravity.

And then the Monsters will tell you this nightmare is an "improvement".

Okay, today I just got in the mail something my viewers have been waiting for a while now.. The 'Doubles Mother and Daughter Hole' by Enjoy Toys, now the description and flavor text implies this is a double-sided Onahole.. Let me just take it out of the box--Haha, there you go one in the front one in the back, try it out with your friends! But enough joking around.. Okay so this is the daughters side.. Lemme read the box.. 'This is an amazing double-sided Onahole featuring the pussies of an experienced mother and her shy daughter' Finally a sex toy for those of us who like their chicken with egg.. Okay, wow.. The 'Daughter' side is very tight, but soft, it's a bumpy texture on the inside.. Very nice.. Okay, and the 'Mother' side is a little wider, of course, she had a kid.. But has a 'ribbed' feeling and isn't as claustrophobic as the daughters side.. However this isn't for everyone, while the daughter is snug, I don't want to say tight, she is snug, the little bumps would surely make this a quick romp with her, the mother is.. Hmm, now loose is not the right word, but she's very comfortable, this'll be the ideal side you use if you're big.. But I know some of you out there have lolicon fantasies so I can't stress this enough, Ladies and Gentleman USE LUBE! Alright, let me see how this feels on me real quick.. Get the lube.. Lube everything, your dick, your balls, the Onahole, your aunt Susan, EVERYTHING! You don't want to break the Onahole or get stuck or worse, hurt yourself.

>>46857114
You will be regretting this in an hour when the Chicken logs back in.
Anya and the Chicken can't stand each other so she avoids her like the plague.

>>46788422
>"I did, and, it occurs to me, isn't your wing out of order now? Maybe you should start fresh? I plucked quite a few chicken feathers in my time it wouldn't take long to-"
This sounds like dialogue straight out of the games.

Good job anon

>>46772882
Another nice and sunny day at the Hakurei Shrine and I was spending it here on this porch with Reimu asleep by my side. True to her word, she had stitched me a casual shrine attendants robe with a red bottom and white top which was thankfully free of frills. If you looked closely, you could tell that different fabric had to be used for different folds of the clothing, but the small pin pricks I saw on her hand told me no less work had gone into it.

The afternoon sun had well put the girl straight to sleep and, brushing the hair from her face, I thought she almost looked like a little angel, her soft, cute little face steadily breathing onto my side. I felt a little tempted to leave a little chaste peck on her forehead, in the hopes it might give her sweet dreams. Slowly though, her eyes fluttered open and the girl slowly awakened to the sound of chirping birds.

「Ah, sorry I fell asleep...」 She murmured, placing a hand on my chest to slowly get herself up. 「Oh! I, sorry.」 She exclaimed, Jumping just a tad. 「I wasn't a bother was I?」 I just smiled in reply, enjoying the girl's embarrassed face.

「It's your fault really! letting a girl take advantage of you like that.」 She trailed off, before she shot to attention. Pulling something out of her Miko uniform, she cursed. 「Stay here, I really mean it this time!」 She commanded before flying off once again.
---
By the time Reimu had arrived in the same airspace, Aya was already booking it, having gotten her photos. She knew the girl couldn't catch her if she was seriously running away, which may have been uncool, but to the Tengu, her new issue came first. As the scarlet bullets came hailing down the crow could almost laugh 'you might be a tad more serious but it'll take a hundred feints more then that to catch me!' she mused as she nimbly ducked, dodged, weaved, and stopped dead in her tracks with Reimu's Gohei at her throat.

"How did you catch up to me?" The Tengu asked.

"Catch you?" Reimu asked innocently as she floated to behind Aya, her tool still around her neck like a knife. "You silly little crow, I wasn't chasing you in the first place, I just threw out a couple of bullets and floated to a comfortable spot. You just so happened to pass by." She explained, punctuating the explanation with a few taps of the wood against the Youkai's throat.

"You know, you Tengu take awful pride in your wings, but..." Reimu began, stroking a finger down Aya's feathers. "...those feathers you preen, don't you think it's rude to leave them lying about? Here, take this one back will you?" She concluded, taking the stray feather Aya had given out and gently nestling it back into the wing, ruining the perfect order of the feathers.

"Ah, you found that one I gave him did you?" Aya said, a little nervous.

"I did, and, it occurs to me, isn't your wing out of order now? Maybe you should start fresh? I plucked quite a few chicken feathers in my time it wouldn't take long to-" At this the crow Tengu launched herself away from the miko and froze a few meters in the air away from her, shielding her camera with her life.

Reimu sighed. "Just what are you doing? I hadn't finished talking yet."

"I know this line! I was gonna say 'oh please don't pluck my wings miss Shrine Maiden' and then you'll say 'well then I'll take something equally precious' and that'll be the end of my camera right? Well I'm not gonna let you!" Aya said stalwartly.

At this Reimu blinked, snicked, and then let out a long, Innocent laugh. "Silly bird, who'd want anything to do with that musty old thing?"

It was Aya's turn to blink. "But don't you want to smash it because I got pictures of you and your beloved together?"

The Miko shrugged "Why would that matter?"

"Because when I publish it in the papers the whole village and every Youkai will know you have a sweetheart and come by to take a look?"

"Well 'if the Bunbunmaru talking about it every Youkai already knows' and the human villagers know to respect some boundaries. So, go ahead and publish it, I could use the donations from visitors since I'm feeding an extra mouth you know?" Reimu told Aya.

Aya sighed with relief, for a second she thought Reimu might've been driven to become a Youkai by some mad obsession with a man, but she was still the greedy, carefree girl they'd all come to know, although that comment about her precious Bunbunmaru was uncalled for.

"Oh and Aya?" Reimu began, the crow Tengu looked up to see two dark scarlet eyes staring directly back at her. "If I catch you sticking another one of your filthy Youkai marks on my precious person, I'll do far more then just pluck out your feathers one by one." And like that, the Miko vanished, leaving the Tengu a little shook, but having paid the price for interrupting a good mood.

"What a childish girl." Aya said aloud "Thinks just because she's head over heels for someone everyone's going to fall for the same bait? Ha! Some of us girls have stronger hearts."

"I meant to play the chicken game solo before knowing it had online multiplayer and I just asked for a collab partner and Aqua responded first."
"We do talk behind the scenes quite regularly."

this with some of the responses from the viewers really made me think how many more collaborations there would be if Holos streamed even half of their interactions with each other.

"so that's why it wasn't like (nice to meet you) or (it has been a while)"
"from viewers perspective it was quite rare collaboration"
"there are quite few holomen like that with Hurea"

>>46719944
>3 hours ago
i mowed the lawn with a reel mower
i drove like 15 minutes to the nearest popeys chicken and 15 minutes back
cleaned up some sapling trees getting in the way and shredded them
AND KORONE IS STILL ON THE FUCKING BOMB BARRELS!

Seriously how the fuck can she do this for so long? that level of patience is fucking insane and i just cant even watch someshit like that

>>46614369
—
“Hm… The energies of the village are complex. I feel many of my followers and blessed ones shall be affected by catastrophe sooner than later.” The God comments to himself in a tone I've never heard him use, but I pay no further attention as I fly through the village, eyes centered on the approaching HSE, the boo-boo across my face forgotten. “If only the sages weren't such embarrassments.” Ran or Mima would probably understand his words better, but I cannot feel or have an opinion about the world as they do; I really just want to be with Anon again. “As a vessel, you shouldn't worry much. Time will come where my presence calls as necessary, and at such time I'll take over your body to do the talking.” Just return it in one piece! I need it to help Anon water the flowers and cook! “Of course—all in one piece, my tiny maiden. It's a promise.” Good~

The time spent inside my head is enough that the HSE went from something in the distance to be right in front of me, paying no attention to the doors—curtains? Bleh, whatever—and rushing to the closest person I knew, Ran. Her pointy ears reacted first, her eyes turning away from the person by the counter to me, as did the whole room as I bumped into the lined idiots on the way. “Oh? Dolly?” I stop in front of her face, frantically nodding. The person behind me—a weird-looking human/chicken girl—, rubbed her head with words of annoyance, as did the others I had bumped into. They deserve it, always making Anon's life harder than it needs to be! “Sorry for the inconvenience, dear clients. I'll be disciplining this rogue doll and someone else will be attending to you.” She Gaps a perplexed, wide-eyed, tiny green person from somewhere in the building and talks a little with them, their expression recovering very fast, as if this isn't the first occurrence, and then walks away from the room full of weird people behind, me promptly tagging along, though a bit tense with her words about 'disciplining'; what'll she do…? I cringe a little as we enter the sparsely populated corridors and she glances towards me…

… Then she grins modestly. “Anon has missed you, Dolly.” She sticks a finger and scratches beneath my chin—enough to clean up any fear of possible punishment. “And look at that, returning with a wound, too? Try not to pick too much from Chen; I ask of you~”

“Another powerful entity marked by my blessing!” The Hakurei God speaks to himself, smug in his intonation. “Anon is truly a remarkable resource—shame are these circumstances; could've used someone like him during the Sengoku Period. So many of the Hakurei Clan fell like flies. We never properly recovered; until very recently, we've only had one heir for each generation…” It sometimes seems like he just wants someone to talk to; being a God can be lonely if you are stuck inside some balls. “I'll let that one go unchecked, humble vessel.” He sounds as if trying not to sound pissed off. Heh~ “I'll too spare you the magical effort of channeling my presence, so I oblige you through spoken means to find a suitable way to reward the nine-tailed fox.” Hm? What do you mean? “Can't you see how strained the woman is? She's one of many to be giving her life and blood for Anon; however, she's also one of the few to do the same for Reimu. That… capricious maiden, despite being the almost-death of my entire clan, has shown one of humanity's greatest assets: forgiveness of others and of self—even when she was an unremarkable child shrine maiden, she'd show it by befriending her foes.” He pauses, as if reminiscing. “A God knows the power of forgiving, and she's used it to pave a path of redemption for herself, the clan, and my incestuous maiden. Thank her in my name, the nine-tailed fox; because of her, my maiden doesn't bear the blight that is the 'Yakumo' name.”

Oh…

I didn't understand it thoroughly, but I guess Ran did some good stuff for Anon's family and I need to thank her in a 'suitable way'… In that case, there's only one thing to do!

Ran jumps a little as I advance and catch one of her ears in a tight embrace, squeezing it so hard as if to draw blood; she doesn't seem affected, merely giggling as she joins her sleeves. “Oh, my… Are you feeling needy? Save it for Anon; he was so anxious with you going out for so long~” I kept hugging anyway, even as we descended the corridor, some white wolves and little green people staring for a moment or two. Ran hums a soothing tune, ignoring them and enjoying the hug, looking much better than a minute ago.

It culminated as we finally got to the shrine, the nostalgic vision filling me to the brim with excitement and heartache. I was quick to leave her hair and fly towards the shrine—

—though I stopped, turning to Ran. “I’m not coming; I'm very busy and need to return to my spot before Yukari, ah…” She exhales tiredly before nodding to me with a kind smile. “Forget me and go see him already, you silly little doll~!”

She soon leaves through that scary gash of eyes.

>>46488213
i had a japanese friend once that was a huge fan of bump of chicken, i do like one or two of their songs but overall no im not a fan.
i like this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1EtNsq9yfM
and aurora is also okay

>>46488140
Konosuba stands out and has it's own identity, for better or for worse, and it also has good production quality.
This alone puts it well above the herd.
So I beg to differ, it will be 8/10
>>46488181
>The New Gate
>Is not new season of "Gate" ）自衛隊　彼の地にて、斯く戦えり
>yeah.
.
I guess it's not entirely on topic, but how do you guys find music?
I got impressed by Dungeon Meshi's OP, downloaded Bump of Chicken's entire fucking discography but two albums later I'm decidedly unimpressed.
I love music, but I almost never like more than 10% of the creative output of any given artist.

I lift SOLELY to mog other males. Literally everything I do in life is to mog and I'm being 100% serious. You have absolutely no idea the feeling of superiority you get when you are bigger, stronger and drive a nicer car than someone else. Like seriously, can you imagine being you - a little twink bitch in your gay little Carolla/Camry/Accord and I roll up in THE....... Bugatti Chiron Pur Sport and step out in my stringer, literally twice your size with a chiseled jawline and veins popping out my (natty) 18" biceps? Literally everywhere I go it's like I'm a fuckin celebrity. I stick out like a sore thumb. You nerds have no idea the euphoric feeling I experience literally everywhere I go. It's like I'm from a different planet

picture this - I roll up to the grocery store in the Bugatti. Fuckin 8.0 liters of pure France Power screaming as I decel from 6,900 rpm. You hear me, you see the racing stripes, you see the Bugatti badge (everyone automatically knows what the Bugatti means) then you get a glimpse of my face with the aviators on. I park and my massive frame emerges from a fuckin race car. "Holy shit, he's fucking young... but not too young to where thats his dad's car" is the first thing that goes through the mind's of the males, then they probably do some retarded cope idk i dont worry ab them. Females literally just stop and stare like some movie star just pulled up. I swear they actually think I'm a celebrity, fuckin smiling, looking at me up and down. "I love you car". "Thanks". "You're welcome!". Boom, she's on lock. "Add me on snap". Then I go get my chicken and eggs got my plans for the weekend after I add the bitch. I'm literally texting this dime I met at Aldi right now, umad? Always pick them up in the Koenigsegg Jesko Attack so they know I have 2 cars (successful).

Anyways yeah, that's why I lift. To be bigger than you. If I'm bigger/more shredded than you it literally means I'm better than you. I put in more work than you, that's it. Thats what it boils down to

>>46386571
Just the way she moved her head. It was like a chicken
>>46386675
yeah, similar head movements
https://youtu.be/mi5hp4gR_fg?t=68
>>46389058
So in the dream i was in my house just chilling in my room that has a pretty big window towards the balcony. I look outside and on the rail of the balcony i see Aya on one leg staring at me with those horrible red eyes smiling. Something in my gut was telling me not to open the window to this creature at all. She goes down the rail and walks towards the window mantaining eye contact but moving her head in different directions up and down left to right. She starts to say something but i can't heard her very well i think she wanted me to open the window so she could eat me
>>46389552
good thing i didn't opened the window

Still, I was planning to disappoint her in regards to the fee for a long, long time. "Heh." She chuckled, pushing the boat onwards. "That's exactly what Reimu said, you know. "The best things in life are friends, huh?" She said, sitting exactly where you are now." It was funny, I thought, hearing about things that Reimu had done that I was doing too. I really couldn't pay, though. "It's fine." Komachi said. I watched the ripples that she made in the water. "Just tell me the story of your proposal on the way back. That'll cover it." She looked at me and grinned again, and despite myself, I grinned back.

I could hear vague chatter between Reimu and Yamame above me, but other than that, the world was still. I couldn't see the shore that we'd come from or the shore on the other side, but Komachi didn't seem worried about it. In fact, it was only minutes later that she spoke up. "Oh?" She raised a hand to her forehead to shield her eyes. "I think I see the shore over there." I looked behind me, in the direction that the boat was going. Oh, she was right. There was a shoreline over there. "Looks like you're still in fairly good standing." Komachi said to me. "Lady Eiki would like that." With a slight thump, the boat hit the other shore. "Go on, then. I've got to say, I've never seen someone cross the Sanzu River...Just to heal a sore throat." It sounded stranger than I'd realised, now that she was saying it out loud. "Well, maybe that's why I find you all so interesting." Komachi said, smiling once more. I thanked her, then dismounted the boat, stepping onto solid ground once more. A moment later, Reimu and Yamame joined me.

"Ugh, it's weird up there. You can't tell what's going on without Komachi as a reference." Reimu told me, shivering. "Alright, let's keep going. I think I know the way from here." I handed the packages back over to Yamame before Reimu grabbed me by the wrists and dragged me into the air again. The other shoreline was a beautiful place. Flowers everywhere, varieties that I couldn't imagine many living people had seen though plenty of dead people probably had. The fields seemed to stretch on into the distance, though the Yama had to judge the souls that crossed the river somewhere near here.

A few moments later, though, the red flowers that I was seeing all around me started to thin out, and I could feel the warmth in the air. Something caught my eye, and I saw a figure jump from a small building below, flying up to meet us. This, I assumed, was Kutaka Niwatari. She was blonde, her hair shining in the omnipresent hazy sun of Higan. There was what seemed to be a large nest on her head, red in colour and with a tiny chicken sitting in it. It was looking between us suspiciously. Kutaka had large wings, fluffy and full of golden feathers, and a long, bushy, feathery tail which trailed from under her dress. Her dress was orange, with a separate white collar and a red bow tied around her neck. Brown boots on her feet, coming halfway up to her knees. "Halt!" She called, stopping in front of us. "Eh? You're...The Hakurei Shrine Maiden. Why are you trying to get into Hell? And - You two..." Kutaka stared between us, narrowing her eyes. "Identify yourselves."

"Reimu Hakurei, her brother, her brother's lover. Listen, we're not going to Hell." Reimu seemed a little impatient by this point. "Yamame's got a sore throat and we want you to fix it."

Kutaka looked incredulous. "You - I'm sorry, can you repeat yourself?" The tiny chick in the red nest scratched its head in confusion. I wondered how much it understood. "Did you just - You crossed the Sanzu River...To heal a sore throat?"

"Yeah," Reimu replied bluntly. Kutaka stared at her, wide-eyed. I wondered if my wrists would just fall off from all the hanging from them I was doing. "Can you do it?" She raised an eyebrow, and Kutaka stammered something. Her voice, I thought, was quite...Musical. She seemed like she'd be an amazing singer. Finally admitting defeat, I called up to Reimu and asked if we could land. "Huh? Oh, er, sure." She lowered me to the ground, Kutaka and Yamame following. I massaged my wrists, hoping that they weren't too sore, since I'd still need to get home after this. "Anyway, like I was saying - Can you do it?"

Kutaka slowly looked from me to Yamame. "Er...I'm supposed to be working, but..." She beckoned Yamame closer, so I took the packages. "How bad is it?"

"I don't think it's that bad..." Yamame replied hoarsely.

>>46014878
—
A good lesson to learn young is to never play with fire; it obviously burns, but it also spreads. A tiny ember, if given as much as a gust of wind, could turn into a firestorm, ready to consume everything in its path… Not that babies would understand that, but at least it's a great way to distract them.

The clock had just struck midday, meaning people began scattering—not everyone has time to spare for revolutions, mainly not the regular villager—so the golden trio was outside, bidding farewells to the remaining souls that had stuck around to hear Keine’s words… Fucking finally, I say.

Six hours and nearly fifty people to interact with? Ugh…

Never again.

Sitting cross-legged on the floor with the twins in front of me, I swung my right index around, a thin rope of flame following it and so giving 'life' to a battle between flame stickmen. Surprisingly, Aki was the one fascinated by the made-up battle, while Mochi made a valiant effort to catch the ember warriors. I laughed, twirling the fire rope around his head, showing off just to hear more of those sweet little giggles, his large eyes gleaming and wings flapping up and down.

Though the joy was short-lived, a strange, jerky feeling overtook my heart the more I watched the ropes of fire surrounding my son, eyes narrowing, limbs feeling somewhat uncomfortable—

—I imagined Aya's face dissolving in flames; Seija's screams as her half-melted eyes popped out the sockets; and her heart shrank under crushing flames.

The same flames dancing around my son…

… My wide-eyed son, reaching for them naively.

My body reacts before my mind does, as always: “No, idiot!” I shouted, slapping his hand away from the fire. The response came on quickly, those big eyes staring at me with a sudden look of horror, body flinching, wings quivering and fluffing at the unexpected blow; his teary eyes probably a great reflection of mine…

Mochi was loudly sobbing in the next moment.

“Oh, fu—sorry, sorry!” The fire war dissolved into nothingness as I swiftly embraced him, Aki watched it all unfold dumbfounded, not really understanding what was happening. Ignoring her for now, I cradled my weeping son on the bend of my neck, my features tense and brows furrowed as I planted little kisses on his tiny, hurt hand.

What the hell did I do that for?! They don't get burned by my fire; they have my phoenix blessing!

… So why did I just go and hurt my son like that…?

Frustratingly, no answer came.

After a while, Mochi stopped crying completely, his wings cutely flapping up and down at a rather cautious pace as he reached out to nibble on my hair. Aki, who must've been jealous that her brother was receiving all the attention, flew up to land on my arms, only almost crashing twice! A new record for my little girl.…

I held her just as tightly in my arms, as if to never let go.

There's no imminent danger—no Seiga or Yukari. There's no fight I wouldn't take or person I wouldn't kill to keep them safe…

… With me, they're safe.

Absorbed in my little world with the twins, a sudden soft step that I didn't recognize as Keine's closed on us, the hairs on my nape standing upright and the fire inside burning as I instinctively moved Aki away to free up my hand and violently pushed it towards the direction of the sound, a massive fireball licking my skin and ready to melt whoever was dumb enough to sneak up—

—a glimpse of brown and peachy-colored wings stopped me before I turned Mystia into fried chicken, the youkai's eyes wide with gruesome thoughts and small body jolting away from me. “Wow!” She stutters, trembling like a dry leaf, trying to recompose herself. “I-It's just me! M-Mystia!”

The flames faded away—much to the twins' dismay—and my gaze could carve stone. “Don't sneak up on people like that, bird-brain!” I feel ashamed, even though my tone is harsh: attacking one of Keine's allies like this, all because I'm a little jumpy… What’s wrong with me?

Aya's face melted away; Seija cremated until not even ash remained…

I tsked, frustrated, Mystia staring back at me, quiet and tense. “I- uh… I-I heard Mochi-chan crying, and Keine-san was busy and Suzu-san just left to go open the Suzunaan… So I came to investigate.” She sounded mortified, and it took everything in me not to exploit her pathetic display. Keine might have forgiven her, but I haven't.

A mother throwing her—my—kids to death…

In any other circumstance, I’d have her commit suicide.

Though I keep my mouth shut, my feelings are not a justification for possibly derailing Keine's plans. “Nothing to worry about, just…” I suddenly pouted, staring at a reddened mark on the back of Mochi's hand.

Mystia stared too; her frown creased. “Mokou-san, did you…?” She had judgmental eyes…

An intense, inexplicable fury suddenly welled up in my chest. “No! I didn't mean it; it was an accident! Don't look at me like that—not you, of all people!”

She looks at me in abrupt horror, and it takes a moment for me to process…

… Fuck.

"See that stall?" She pointed over at one of the stalls closest to the main Shrine. I could see Geidontei's name proudly displayed at the top, and inside, I could see Miss Miyoi rushing about. Behind her, curiously enough, was Aunn. I thought it was the happier Aunn, but I couldn't tell from the distance. "Miyoi's making plenty of beans of her own, and so are some of the others, so we've got everyone covered with plenty to spare." She thought for a moment. "This is actually less than we had last year. That. uh, went a bit off the rails, though..."

I nodded wordlessly. So I'd heard. Curious, I asked if Reimu had brought someone to play the oni. "Nah. Even when it goes well, something gets in the way. It's not really necessary, anyway." I let the general murmur of the crowd wash over me, complete with the sounds of excited children shouting, the distinct voice of the elderly complaining about the steps they'd had to climb to reach the Shrine, and the ever-present sound of those running the stalls hawking their wares. I could see a stall that I'd seen at the New Year's Party, the one run by the pink-haired bird - Sparrow? - Youkai, Mystia. I thought her last name was Lorelei, but I wasn't certain. I'd only really found my way to her stand once and I couldn't remember it very much.

She was currently shouting at the proprietor of the stand next to her, who looked to be a tiny kappa proudly offering freshly grilled yakiniku. "Oh, that'll end well." I blinked and looked to my other side. Yamame had finally managed to poke her head back out of the Shrine, and she was looking in the same direction as Reimu and I. Curious, I asked her if she knew what was going on. "I've heard of that stall. Er, Mystia Lorelei's, I mean. She's got a big thing against people serving poultry." Had she tried Mystia Lorelei's? Was it any good? "Er...Yeah, I think so. I mean, it's fish, and I'm more of a chicken fan then a fish fan, but...Yeah. It was pretty good." Yamame finally stepped out of the Shrine and wandered over. It wasn't all that cold today, happily, but that didn't seem to be much consolation to her. "I've never tried the kappa's yakiniku stand, but...Just looking at it, I'm pretty sure that Mystia's would be better. It looks all...Clinical. The kappa one, I mean. Like there's not much real care put into making it." I squinted at the stall in question and concluded that, yes, it was a little bit lacking in presentation. I wasn't sure that necessarily meant much in terms of taste, but I felt like hand-prepared food from Mystia's stand would probably be better than the undoubtedly machine-led work of the kappa.

"Hey, I meant to ask - Who else are you inviting to the wedding?" Reimu spoke up as she frowned at what looked to be Marisa, not accompanied by Tenshi this time, who was looking at a stall, and the stall-owner, who looked like they'd had a bit too much to drink. "Because...You've invited Marisa and Tenshi, and I'm assuming you invited the Grassroots lot since I knew you were going to their meeting, but who else is on the list?"

"Er..." Yamame paused for a moment. Obviously, all of Yamame's family was on the list, though we'd yet to work out exactly how that was going to work. The oni were invited, as were the Eientei lot, assuming they wanted to come. "Ki said that she'd get the ones that we were closest to together in the next few days. That means...Probably Reiko, Yura, Ruka, Ki herself, and...I suppose it'll be Nai. She'll be happy to be included." What about Yamame's mother, I asked quietly. "She's...She'll be a special case. We'll have to tell her separately." I could only imagine how that was going to go. What about her father? Did she have a father? It seemed like out of everyone I knew, practically no one but Tenshi had a father, and even she had an awful relationship with him. In the end, I decided that it was a question for later, and instead said that aside from Yamame's family, I still needed to tell Keine all of the details, and that would probably necessitate going to the village so that I could invite Hieda no Akyuu. I also needed to invite Oseki and the old man from the café.

"Lots of people, huh...?" Reimu commented, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall with her shoulder. "But I suppose we're not exactly short of space over by the Garden of the Sun. As long as they're all very careful not to pick flowers or upset Yuuka in any way." I really hoped that they would be. And...Part of the reason I was inviting so many people was to cover up the glaring hole where a mother and father should be. Reimu watched me for a moment. "Yeah...I guess that makes sense..." She stared at Marisa for a moment longer. I shook my head and looked over, wondering where Tenshi had gotten to. "Are you planning to invite the goddess of Hell?" I nodded, and then realised that I would probably need to ask Clownpiece to tell her for me, because I wasn't sure how I would track her down.

"I've apologised." She replied. "And I'll make it up to you. You know I will." Will...How? How? Oh, this was becoming a nightmare.

"Wedding!" Reimu finally shouted in a strangled voice. "Here to tell you to - I mean, here to invite you to the wedding! Officially, I mean!" She breathed in and out heavily for a moment afterward, so I decided to simply confirm what she'd said more clearly.

"Wow, you're moving quick, aren't you?" Tenshi said, placing her bowl to the side. I hadn't noticed, but she'd served herself a significantly smaller portion than she had for Marisa. I supposed, just like me, she had a strange appetite. "Or...Well, I suppose it's not that quick, actually. Especially for you two. Never seen two people more head-over-heels for each other." I blushed slightly and looked away while Reimu muttered something about looking at another pair just like that right now. "So...What's the plan? I've not been to the Shrine recently." It was sort of a shame, I thought, because Tenshi and I had been really close during the Eientei Investigation and then I'd been side-tracked with Yamame and she'd been side-tracked with Marisa, so we hadn't seen each other much recently.

Either way, I got to business. April fourth, I said. We would be getting married in the Garden of the Sun. "Garden of the Sun? That's, uh, Yuuka's territory, you know? Are you sure about that?" Wait, surely Marisa knew that I'd met her, right? "Er...I think you mentioned something about that? What, did you make friends with her?" I...Supposed so. She was quite nice now that I'd gotten to know her. "That's not something I expected to hear about Yuuka Kazami today." Marisa replied softly. "Well...Reimu, is that for real?"

"Seems to be." Reimu replied, scratching a cheek. "I thought it was a bit weird, too, but he does have a knack for befriending youkai." I laughed awkwardly. "Anyway, it seems that she was the one who asked them to host the wedding there, from the way he described it." Yeah, I added. She thought that holding it under the peach tree would be particularly striking.

"Under - Wait, under the peach tree. The..." Tenshi looked at me with narrowed eyes. "What peach tree would this be?" Ah. I...Hadn't done a very good job keeping relevant people informed about this. The peach tree, I replied. The one that had come from the pit of the peach that Tenshi had given me months ago. "Wait. You - You planted it? The pit? But - It's from Heaven. It - It shouldn't even grow on the surface!" Tenshi seemed to be struggling with this concept. "Why'd you never tell me about this!?" She cried sharply. Marisa reached over and patted her on the back, which made Reimu cough slightly. I shrugged a little uncomfortably. Everyone seemed to be like this. It wasn't like I was trying to keep things hidden, it just ended up taking a while to get around to it. "Alright, tell me. Right now."

I tried to get through it as quickly as I could, but Tenshi took exception to a few bits. "A peach from Heaven, and you decided to just dump the pit in a tiny little flowerpot in the corner of your house!?" I'd not known better, I replied hotly. It wasn't like I'd been left instructions, so when Miss Yuuka had shown up, I'd just agreed that she probably knew better. "Hmm..." Tenshi hummed, watching me with narrowed eyes. "...Fine, I'll accept that. I'm assuming that she took it to the Garden of the Sun, then. It shouldn't have grown very well, though. The soil in Heaven's a completely different beast to the surface world." Well...The last time I'd seen it, it had been well over the height of Miss Yuuka's mansion, which was itself very large. "...What?" Tenshi bluntly asked. "What the hell is your green thumb!?" She cried, throwing her hands up in frustration. "I've got to get you to plant some more things. Do you know how long it took me to get that stuff down!? Like...Two hours! Two hours!"

"Two hours...?" I heard Marisa ask Reimu in the background. "Is that supposed to be a long time? I've been working on magic for over a decade."

"I started learning the Shrine Maiden rituals and tools before I could even talk. I think Tenshi's just a different breed." Reimu replied quietly. "Hey, where'd you get the chicken for that food? I could do with some. Actually, what was the whole recipe?"

While they talked, I explained the rest of the story to Tenshi, and she thought for a moment. "...Yeah, I guess it makes some sense. If the soil is as alive as Yuuka thinks it is, then I suppose it could, uh, intersect with the Heavenly aspects and...Give the whole thing a boost, I guess." Tenshi didn't sound entirely convinced but I supposed it was hard to understand without seeing the tree itself. "Are you sure it'll be in bloom by then?"

"Ha." Marisa replied dryly. "She wouldn't let me get any sleep." Here, Reimu shot me another glance, and now it was me on the back foot, because that sounded much less like 'just good friends' and a lot more like 'just flirting' which was bad news for my side of the bet. "Constantly kicking me out of bed, hiding my clothes, you know...That sort of stuff." And that - I nodded vaguely at Marisa - Was not helping. Hiding her clothes? "Oh, don't worry, I got her back." H-How? I didn't want to ask it out loud, and neither did Reimu from the looks of things, even though she would need to for her side of the bet.

"S-So, the cleaning is going well, then...?" Reimu asked, casting an eye about the place. It certainly seemed to have gone quite well, because there was more floor space here than I'd even realised had existed on my last visit. The hard wood floors looked polished, with a dark sort of shine that seemed to complement the general aesthetic of a witch. There were still plenty of various items around, but the sheer clutter was gone and replaced with tastefully displayed shelves and display pieces on top of drawers.

"Oh, definitely! You can actually breathe in here now." Tenshi said cheerfully. "I'm thinking about decorating, but there's still work to be done here first." She slapped Marisa on the back, making the witch squeak slightly. "But at least we cleared up enough space to leave the bed free, huh?" I looked over at Reimu, and I could already tell that she was mumbling Tenshi's last few words to herself. So was I, because they were the sort of thing that you didn't typically prioritise with someone you were just friends with. Were they...Sleeping together? In the same bed? Maybe they were just really good friends...

"Yeah..." Marisa mumbled. "Hey, is that food done yet?" She looked back over to us. "I've been teaching her. She's getting real good with a knife. Very, uh, dextrous fingers." I asked her if they came in handy for other things. Immediately after saying it, I felt like smashing my head into a wall, because I'd meant other things like the massages that Tenshi had said she was giving Marisa, but now it just sounded like I was asking if Tenshi was using her fingers for...Less savoury things. Reimu clearly thought the same from the way she was looking at me. "Yeah, I guess." Oh, well that was - Wait, no, what? "She's really good at getting into the deep areas."

"C-Can you please repeat that? Just so I know I'm not going insane?" Reimu asked faintly, then began muttering to herself. "If it was a dream, I'd know. Let's count the prime numbers. One, three, five,..." Two, I corrected Reimu without thinking. "What?" She asked testily. Two was a prime number. One wasn't, because it technically wasn't divisible by one and by itself, because it was already one. "Wait, doesn't that...? No, sorry, let's not get into it. Marisa, explain yourself."

"Huh? Oh, er, I mean...The deep areas. You know, like nooks and crannies? Behind the wardrobes and down the tiny spaces, that sort of thing. She's got really strong fingers and amazing stamina, so she can be on her knees for hours."

...And we were straight back in 'mixed messages' territory. What did she mean? Why was she like this? On her knees for hours? Just to clean behind some wardrobes? Or- "Oh, there you are." I blinked and realised that not only had Tenshi left the room at some point, but she'd now come back in, holding two steaming bowls of rice, chicken, and egg. It smelled delicious and I wished that I was having it right now, which was quite impressive given I typically didn't eat very much unless Yamame was forcing me. "Thank you very much." Marisa cheerfully told Tenshi as she was handed her bowl. "Sorry about this." Marisa apologized, taking her chopsticks and shoving some of the food straight into her mouth. "I mean, if you'd told me you were coming, I would have made more, but..."

"Marisa, don't talk with your mouth full!" Tenshi snapped, "Am I going to have to-"

"No, that's fine!" Marisa cut Tenshi off and quickly apologized, then got right back to eating. This, of course, only fuelled our desire to know. Have to what? Discipline her? But, it was very clear to both Reimu and I that asking the question directly would be like admitting defeat. No, they had to admit or deny it themselves. Marisa took the time to swallow properly this time. "So...Why are you two here again? Where's your wife-to-be? Wow, It feels great being able to actually say that instead of complaining that you won't tell me who it is." I was still sorry about that. "Yeah, I'm not holding it against you. It's her fault, too." This was accompanied with a finger pointing toward Tenshi, who looked over at Marisa with softened eyes.

How do I remove the "watched" bar from videos I don't want it on on Youtube?
I just clicked the chicken's most recent video to see if she did a superchat reading where she talked about pekora or something and now Youtube is showing me as having watched the entire stream and it's really annoying me I don't want this shit in my Youtube history.
Can I like tell Youtube I don't want this feature for her channel or something?

>>45844381
>>45844422
>>45844567
>>45844572
>>45844702
Dammit! This Tarkov posting just reopened old gaming wounds within me once again!

I have grown to fucking hate it and Tarkov-type games. I was bankrupted, lost EVERYTHING and EVERYTHING. All the hardwork, and loot LOST thanks to tryhards and sweatlords from CoD also playing the game. To which I was lied to! They all said Tarkov and any Tarkov-type games are all strategic, methodical and tactical and that there is no room for gung-ho run-and-gun Call of Duty-style retardation and cheap shots. LIES! More than a dozen times I've come across headless-chicken style running and gunning Sweatlords sprinting and marathon sprinting everywhere I fucking went. Nearly everywhere I went in Tarkov I ended up bumping into Call of Duty run and gun sweatlords who killed me with the most cheapest and underhanded ways possible. And many times I ended up dying and losing EVERYTHING because piece of shit human beings camped in the extraction points instead of coming out and facing me like real player.

And I could never recover because of the loose-everything-when-you-die gimmick that makes Tarkov and others like it soooooooo goddamn famous. I have learned Tarkov definitely is not for me. But I cannot comprehend why people enjoy such masochistic painful experience of loosing everything. That seems like such a waste of time and effort and slap-on-the-face to the player. What, are games just too boring for some gamers that they get turned on from masochistic cuckoldry that is loosing literally everything in a Tarkov game session with the possibility of going bankrupt in the game!?

Sorry if I might offend any genuine Tarkov experts and veterans here. But your game and the Tarkov genre is not fun at all and just a stressful masochistic torture. I suppose its meant for actual military veteran faggots to help them relive some old memories during deployment. Dark Souls is far more forgiving and fair than Tarkov. Because at least Dark Souls does not take away literally everything from you everytime you die. There people who do treat or meme Tarkov being a "Dark Souls shooter" and that you should "Git Gud" in Tarkov. But I swear, everyone be meming and enjoying Tarkov and have fun tormenting other players in making them fear for loosing everything. But the moment the very same people who love Tarkov start going in a loosing streak and loose eveything they have worked and grinded for over the most underhanded and unsportsmanlike bullshit. Suddenly they too will finally start hating and seething in Tarkov. Because sadly it seems Tarkov is only good and fun if you are winning AND ONLY winning. But when you loose no matter what, it is an unfair, not-fun, and makes Superman 64 look much better in comparison.

I really hope Tarkov forever stays a niche, obscure and unpopular game and genre. Tarkov and it's genre is a game and genre as a whole I wouldn't mind failing and burning to the ground and becoming irrelevant and die to whatever controversy and major change it would go under. I do wish any hackers and bad faith actors good luck in ruining and destroying Tarkov and the it's genre with whatever Shenanigans they could come up with. I HATE TARKOV!!!

>>45782637
Well, looks like it's over for us /jp/. Get ready to enjoy days upon days of watching the same soap opera, sometimes the same episode over and over because one of the members of the council fell asleep and another one didn't have her hearing aid enabled. Of course, it wouldn't be as dreadful as it is, were it not for the awkward ambiance, between any one of the hags whispering to you some rather indecent things they'd do to the actors of the soap opera, or perhaps even you, as you're quite the handsome little boy, but you can't exactly respond by whispering back, because, you know, hearing aid and all that, so you speak up and eventually get scolded by the one hag that was invested in to the soap opera instead of napping or talking to each other about how you sure were nice to bring along some sweets but they wish you'd make yourself useful by helping them untie these bothersome bras that they don't have the energy to wear anymore, or massage their tired back or feet. Get ready for an endless river of complaints about the food being served. Too healthy? That won't do, why are you serving them this borderline hospital food? Treat them better, will you? Too tasty? Well now you're just being inconsiderate. You've been told at least 3 times this week that Okina's been trying to get rid of her love handles. It's entirely your fault for cooking a chicken with a bit more butter than usual, rather than Okina's sedentary lifestyle.
So yeah, long story short, next time, think about your options and just indulge in the sweet sage's desires. Post her pretty face, and once she visits you and asks you to put this cute little piece of paper on your forehead like her rotten looking friend she carries along, say yes!

>>45786969
She WILL enjoy this chicken fried rice and she WILL like it.

>>45727354
"Is it really all right to leave her to play on her own? Don't you two usually fight as a pair?" I asked the man pointing to Seija.

"Hm? Well as long as I'm in a certain proximity I have some auto-casting techniques I modeled after Hijiri." he began shaking his wrist with the bracelet. "So I don't have to fight with her directly. But, I suppose you have a point, I shouldn't leave my partner by her lonesome."

Standing up, Goro pulled from his robe what looked like a large piece of cloth, solid black on one side and white on the other. He tossed it into the air, upon which the sheet began to violently shred itself apart, first in half, then quarters, until what looked like hundreds of paper scraps floated in the air. The scraps slowly began to flock together, flowing and ebbing like a current in the ocean before they flew out into the night, as if they were a group of bats, toward Seija.

"A little technique I've been developing. The two sides of the sheet each have their own curse which targets the other side. They tear each other apart until they form a sort of equilibrium that could be mistaken for an intelligence. Each shred is weak on it's own, however, the swarm dissipates damage effectively across itself, so it's a useful defense and durable harassment tool." He said as he sat down, looking fondly on his creation.

"Ah, you all don't mind if I use curses here do you? I know some people take offense to that kind of thing." He apologized.

"It is the Scarlet DEVIL Mansion you know?" I said, taking a seat and crossing my legs. "If anything, I'm more curious as to why you wanted to single me out like this."

A satisfied smile spread over his face. "I didn't have to try to hard, given the personalities involved, it's only natural Youkai like Amanojaku and Vampires would lose interest in the more banal." He said, holding up his note book.

I stopped time and took the notebook from Goro's hand. Taking out a red pen, I perused the list of provisions, notes, and correspondences. Prudently, I made a list of all the matters we'd need to correct and noted down anything that needed attention for Takane's edification. The manifest was surprisingly well-written, lacking the chicken-scratch I had expected of a fast moving broker, a product of being raised in a religious institution I suppose.

Then I came to a section regarding his personal affairs, denoted by a red, black, and white bookmark and a few small poems. I really shouldn't use my abilities to pry into such matters, but I had my suspicions about this man and I prefer to be judicious rather then have a knife in my back while fighting alongside my mistress.

Flipping through the pages, I saw journal entries detailing tea parties with Tengu, golf sessions with Kappa, and some bits about Ran, Chen, Seiga, and some of the other members of the Yakumo alliance as well as other's like Shiki, Satori, and Kiene. Looking at an entry for Seiga, it read 'self-centered and selfish', beside which it also read 'loves to teach others'. Besides every negative comment, a positive one was written, even for the wicked hermit, whom I couldn't think a single good thing about up till this point. Perhaps this was a way for him to understand others and view them without bias for dealings? Or maybe a technique to control curses and grudges?

Beyond that section there were sketches, most of them were of Seija sleeping. She has quite a cute expression when resting it appears.

Then I came to the very end, where a poem waited.

I see a gap, within, without
Beyond a icy celebration
Curses and Blessings Shout
To a crowd that craves salvation

In a begotten egg, a disaster lies in wait
But all anyone sees is a distraction
With two hands I'll pull their fate
Out of that hellish contraption

What lies beyond, I care deeply
For all who live now are forsaken
But for the new generation that comes quickly
A love and hope we all can partake in.

How romantic. I suppose Yakumo agents are expected to be cultured as well as efficient.

As I made to shut the book, the words began to twist and contort, the characters ripped themselves off the page and began to dance around the paper until they settled down and morphed into a new message.

It's not nice to pry Miss Sakuya.

I closed the book and placed it back in Goro's hand and let time resume.

"Ah, so you're already done I see." Goro immediately said, opening the book.

He noticed? How... "You still have to produce some entropy when stopping time right? I can tell because the book suddenly changed position and these pages are just the slightest bit more worn." He said, detecting my surprise. "I hope you found my manifest readable, I know Ran-San would have probably done it better."

"Well, it's actually a comfort in a way. Ran doesn't write anything down after all and insists on repeating things aloud, it gets annoying, trying to explain to her how much easier it would be for me to just have a written record." I explained.

>"Mmf! Nhhchrrrunchcrunch mmmf! Mmmunchmunch mmmph! Thsh ish shooo good! Mmf! You're such a goof cook! Mm! I'd like to order another!"
Why are foxes like this.
I'm just a fast food fry cook working at a chicken joint.
I literally work at los pollos hermanos ffs.

>>45681758
I don't get what's the point of arguing about this stuff all the fucking time every single day, like the retard yesterday getting mad at a picture of a chicken wing because it has too many cameras behind