/SAG/ - Suffering Artists General

[Anonymous No.6956628]

I TRY TO KEEP THIS PAIN
INSIDE
BUT I WILL NEVER BE
ALRIGHT

[Anonymous No.6956660]

>>6956628
To anyone that posts beyond this post of mine, heed my words first:

You will inevitably suffer, as suffering goes beyond your control.
But working through the suffering or grieving over it, turning it into a tool for better things to come or perpetuating it's influence upon you, that is a choice that is well withing your total and absolute control.

Will you choose to cry in hope of a better future, or will you choose to work to reach a better future?

[Anonymous No.6956666]

>>6956628
finally a thread for me
>>6956660
shut the fuck up

[Anonymous No.6956672]

>>6956660

Thanks buddha, and i guess jesus since faith without works in dead.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N22Yi7L-gs8

P E A C E

[Anonymous No.6956683]

>>6956628
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Anonymous No.6956695]

sexo

[Anonymous No.6956700]

[Anonymous No.6956728]

>>6956628
Tension is building inside, steadily
Everyone feels so far away from me
Heavy thoughts forcing their way out of me

[Anonymous No.6956741]

>>6956695
only if you like dick

[Anonymous No.6956773]

>>6956695
i would do sex at her boy pussy, no homo

[Anonymous No.6956821]

The more i draw, the more i get better, the more i see how there's people better than me, their skill keeps going up, up, to a point i can't even imagine i could ever reach, what's even the point of going on, there are people less skilled than me that get so much praise, I'm always left in the dust, despite the efforts, despite giving it all, despite compromising, i always get nothing, fucking nothing, I'm always in the fucking dust. I always need to be left in a corner with the trash. That's my fucking place. I will never touch victory once because my fucking existence doesn't deserve it. I need to be ridiculed. I'm a fucking clown. I'm a pile of shit, a pile of worms, the example you point at when you tell your son "this is what happens when you're a loser" I'm the fucking king of losers, I'm the last loser, emargginated even by the dregs of societal hierarchy trash I'm just trash I'm the pile of junk the world pushed imto be wit so much effort I'm sgit I'm trash i Don eve deserve to die and if ther wad God it woul just strike me dead now because I can't even breathe anymore with my disgusting lungs so much in fucking pain of this existence i never fucking asked for

[Anonymous No.6956830]

>>6956741
>>6956773

[Anonymous No.6956832]

>>6956628
I've come to realize that I will never make it.

[Anonymous No.6956837]

>>6956832
anon, you don't need to "make it" for anyone but yourself. the moment you become happy and comfortable with what you create, that's the moment you truly made it. when you don't care about what people say, when you're truly confident and satisfied with your artwork, that is making it. doing it as a job or not doesn't matter, in fact it's better if you don't. it would only crush your spirit and kill your authenticity. you don't need to be a wagecuck, you just need to be yourself.

[Anonymous No.6956844]

red pill me on huston and hampton

[Anonymous No.6956865]

>>6956837
fuck off zora

[Anonymous No.6956873]

>>6956660
BASED
I am so scared of the future, I'm terrified of never reaching my goals and being worse off for not just giving up on art and fully committing myself to a different grind.
But I love art. I love making things and I love sharing those things with the people I love. Even if I never "make it", I'd like to think that I'll be damn happy that at least I tried, rather than laying on my death bed going "what if?"

[Anonymous No.6956983]

found out last month i had insta-developed something on par with cancer that’ll fuck me up every day for the rest of my life. from healthy happy and thriving to one on chronic meds with a panoply of deadly interacting conditions each of which could kill me any moment on their own. now i’m one of the living dead on iv’s. i never even got anything more than a minor cold before this, my whole adult life. struck down from the blue sky. god is having a good laugh, from his break-time jokester computer console.
dude

[Anonymous No.6957207]

>>6956983
If that's true I can only imagine how bad you're having it man. I never know what to say when someone get served this kind of shit hand by life. And it feels extra bad when happens to someone that's still young. Hope that maybe science can help unfuck your health at some point in the future

[Anonymous No.6957218]

I wish I was like one of those artists who developed a passion for art at a young age, people who draw as easy as they breathe. I started late and I'm really paying for it. I get told that it's just not for me, that I'm better off doing something else. Even worse are those who say the same thing but disguised as platitudes.
>it's okay anon, Art's not for everybody. There are so many other things you can do besides art! Go out there and find your real passion :)
They say it like giving up drawing would finally relieve me of some great burden or something. I get that I'm not like them but is it so wrong that I wanna draw?

[Anonymous No.6957228]

This is me, 97% of the time or more I dont enjoy drawing, I just want to be good at it so I can finally start to match my imagination.

Its so fucking slow and the growth feels basically invisible

[Anonymous No.6957230]

>>6956983

Find peace/mushrooms bruh. Its time to make peace with god.
I'll pray for you. I'm an atheist ultimately, but I recommend you spend time meditating and learn to breathe and self soothe ultimately, god gives us the trials we thinks we can overcome and even if you die from cancer youll have died fighting with every last drop of humanity left in your bones.
My younger brother is a nurse and both grandmothers died from some form of brain/rare cancer. I'm the NEE™ostawfulperson.

Yeah man, that sucks. smoke weed, its medicinal and I know someone who survived a petrifying cancer of the lower intestine and had to have it removed; so he says his shit looks different now or something, i didn't ask. Dudes still alive currently, vietnam vet and like 60 or something. Medical grade MJ is free from the new fentanyl infested wastleland that is getting non dispensary shit these days. I know that because my neighbor and only female friend died from a fentanyl overdose. Sad, she was 24.

Anywho, every minute counts now anon, so don't get sad, and hey, in those last moments of life, you should ponder what making it really means for all our sakes.

[Anonymous No.6957235]

>>6956660
you know what fucker your post helped me, thanks

[Anonymous No.6957247]

It's lonely.
I get why they might avoid me. I'd help them, if they wanted. If they ever asked. But they don't. They won't.
They don't like me. I guess that's ok, I'll still try to be friendly and kind.
My art keeps me company. I can't bring myself to hate it, it's my only friend. However it looks.
But it's lonely.

[Anonymous No.6957439]

>>6957207
exactly what i was hoping too. my body basically aged forty, fifty years in one, and this is supposed to only affect elderly and late middle aged folks, and be crazy rare in anyone younger. only records i can find of anyone even middle aged are a few other-age grainy black and white body-horror gore pics on google.

on hope,
i keep being told by the docs to quit struggling like a bug and trying to open the mental drapes or they’ll drop me from all medical aid,
i’m never getting better, i’m never improving even enough to not die without their direct intervention, i need to let them experiment on me with ultra untested nightmare meds in their own personal research niches and private interest groups or, now that they successfully scooped out and removed all of my natural systems, they’ll withdraw all the crazy [i can no longer function without] they’ve been knocking me out to insert instead.
my last phone assigned primary care doc suddenly phoned me after locking me out of speaking with any other professionals or contacts no matter how far globally i get transferred within their system, to shout that she’d hooked her mom on her personalized program, her elder brother and sister, and various family members, and i’d better stay silent and mentally lie the fuck back down, because i’d started trying to ask the rotating nurses questions just like they did at first whether there might be more options than life hospitalization in her personal hospital, now that my body would go into a permanent vegetative coma if i left her. [this is probably true.] she banned and blacklisted me from all affiliated hospital systems and somehow got the government to move to withdraw all forms of my financial aid until i broke down and begged her to let me please take anything and everything she wanted to play with.
very satisfied, she ended the call, and suddenly i could log in again, and the government alerts disappeared from my screen.
sorry, /talked too much

[Anonymous No.6957449]

I'm so sloooow I wish I had a sensible process
Long hours of work at the dayjob, shitty process, lack of skill, frustration.

Haven't produced much this year. FUCK.
I even missed the Drakengard anniversary when I wanted to finish an illustration for it man I'm so annoyed...

[Anonymous No.6957450]

>>6957230
lol yeah, i should. thanks so much for your post dude, i guess i’m not alone in the crazy stuff just happens life dispensary. i’m sorry as hell about your family members, it seems a lot of people recently in my family have gotten cancer. last was my aunt she helped raise me. dang. she’s on the heavy kemo right now. maybe we can play cards across our iv bags some day soon.
again, thanks. really love your post, it felt nice to read.
yeah, i’ll try very hard to stay optimistic

[Anonymous No.6957514]

>>6956983
how old are you?

[Anonymous No.6957610]

>>6957439
I don't know what to say man, that's a fucking nightmare. I feel like any encouragement bullshit I could pull out would fall flat if you have to deal with that kind of Kafka situation.
For what's worth from a nobody on the internet, try to stay strong man. If I believed in god I would say a prayer for your ass.

[Anonymous No.6957685]

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Anonymous No.6958043]

>>6957514
34 right now.
i know, kinda old for this site. i’m one of those that still lurk here sometimes because i started arting with /ic/ in the early years, and i like you guys.

[Anonymous No.6958084]

>>6957439
Post country and medical conditions?

This sounds like you’re in a medical malpractice situation and should lawyer up.

[Anonymous No.6958186]

>>6958084
lol, i’ve been told this by everyone in my family who’ve even been informed as far as getting a small taste of everything, but they got on the furious warpath and were the reason i started making tentative questioning noises to the nurses that backfired so horribly it almost killed me. all the doctors now loathe my guts and do everything they can to make things as difficult as possible, and have it pasted all over my record that i’m a malcontent lying deviant and not to listen to or believe anything i might tell them. but this is such a rare thing that only my current doctor, who created this condition through wierd meds in all their family members, even knows how to pronounce some of the medical terms it’s associated with, so i can’t do anything but stick with her, curl into a passive ball, and appease her and her department.
so yeah, it’s unfortunate because my family think they can swoop in and rescue or ‘fix’ the problem by getting rid of this doc, but their operations and med cocktail programs already fucked me up so far down their personalized niche rabbit holes that i’d coma if i tried to extricate myself or make them madder in any way.
if it were a better known condition, i could for sure have a little legal breathing room, but yeah. shit sucks.
thanks for your post regardless, it makes me feel at least not crazy that there are still normal cool people living out there normally, who get angry for me. (i’m just tired. really, really tired, so just let it all go if it’s a facet i can’t effect practically)
thanks, dude

[Anonymous No.6958324]

>>6957439
Kill her, dude. Die doing some good in the world, your mission/purpose is right in front of you.
Or at record your conversations at the very least.

[Anonymous No.6958344]

So do we post art here or what?

[Anonymous No.6958398]

>>6958344
If you want

[Anonymous No.6958421]

>>6956660
you're right thank you

[Anonymous No.6958817]

>>6958398
Oh, I've been there.
Enjoy it while it hurts, true hell starts when you can't feel anything anymore

[Anonymous No.6958889]

>>6958817
Anon how do I feel again tell me anon I don’t like this numbness anon how do i feel again anon

[Anonymous No.6958899]

>>6956660
Anons fail to realize they can get stronger by overcoming suffering. By embracing suffering instead of wallowing in it, you will truly discover who you are and who you are meant to become.

[Anonymous No.6958919]

>>6958889
you need resolve

[Anonymous No.6959047]

>>6956628
I just had an imagined scenario of kid playing with their friends on a phone, having genuine fun. Then their parent comes up and asks who they’re playing with and the kid needs to explain that it’s not actual people just a collection of simulated voices that sound surprisingly human and the parent tries to understand but walks away with the feeling you get watching a bird care for a fake egg.

[Anonymous No.6959385]

>>6959047
Draw it

[Anonymous No.6959631]

>>6956873
>I'd like to think that I'll be damn happy that at least I tried
pffffffhahaha

[Anonymous No.6959652]

>>6959631
Don't ruin it for him. He has all the time of his life to enjoy the hell that is trying, failing, and having to live with it if he ever becomes so fucking crazy to actually do it and come here in the ranks of the damned

[Anonymous No.6960275]

>>6958899
embrace the wallow. take a gulp of water and drown in your despair. die. and be reborn.

[Anonymous No.6960358]

>tfw stopped drawing for a good while
>now I can't even do basic shit

[Anonymous No.6960371]

[Anonymous No.6960377]

>>6960371
that’s fucking vile

[Anonymous No.6960478]

>>6960358
looks good to me, Anon
Hang in there!

[Anonymous No.6960481]

>>6956837
wholesome advice from someone who keeps shitting up the board with pictures of that gremlin
>>6956832
You can do it, Anon
We're all gonna make it

[Anonymous No.6960681]

>>6958899
I waded all my life though shit and it only made me paranoid, cynical and misanthropic.
Its like if every hardship gives you a wound, and the scar hardens protecting you. But if you get too many wounds you become disfigured, specifically if there's nobody with you tending to them. They get infected, purulent and you become a total freak, to the point that one day when you look in a mirror you think "what the fuck is this?"
Don't romanticize too much this "strenght through hardship" thing. It can really fuck you up if you don't know when to stop. Or even worse put yourself in a position where you can't stop.

[Anonymous No.6960763]

>>6960681
Cont

You know guys, I think I'm really reaching schizo. The actual real deal brain problems. Like, I've become pessimism icarnate. I spent all my life trying to get out of a hole, and now that I finally climbed up, everything is rapidly becoming pitch black. Its a bigger hole. There is no fucking escape for me. I lost every piece along the way and I'm just the corpse of what i was at the beginning of this shitshow. And probably I'm projecting this narrative as an absolute truth, like if everyone is human trash like me, which can't be true due to the intrinsic intrinsic subjectivity of existence.
So tell me to fuck off, prove me wrong. Show me you can do what I can't.
Do what the anon up there said, don't give up. Fuck everything, I want to believe in you

Schizo out.

[Anonymous No.6960844]

>>6960763
I was starting to become pessimism incarnate but after getting out of the psych ward I just resolved to stop having thoughts. Like, there are keywords and directions that I forcibly redirect my brain from whenever I feel it wandering there. Existential dread creeping up? Just don’t think about it bro lmao. You’re a failure who’s been living off of broken promises for the entiredy of your pathetic life? Who cares hahaha.
I just don’t dwell on it and focus on anything else. Labeling them as “intrusive thoughts”, as faggy as it is.

[Anonymous No.6960864]

>>696084
>I just resolved to stop having thoughts
You’re not schizo, you’re heavily depressed. Not as in sad, just more of an empty husk feeling.

>psych ward
Are you on meds? I had my doctor in a ward prescribe “sleeping pills” to me which ended up being anti-psychotics, I unironically always had violence-fueled mental breakdowns after taking them.

[Anonymous No.6960921]

FUCK EM, fuck the non believers, fuck everyone that doubted me, fuck you all, I'm going to make it, never through me a god damn bone, never lent a hand, never there when I was building the castle, none of you bitch ass cunts will be there at the grand opening

[Anonymous No.6962180]

I believe in you anon.
Yes even if you give up. I will always believe that you can do it

[Anonymous No.6962936]

https://youtu.be/XI3Oyow40f4?si=8ZfKx8amGuV0fXLB

This video helped me really big time and still does just like their music. Please watch it

[Anonymous No.6962942]

https://youtu.be/qwLofgLmjxA?si=FQRhXVdlxAAKSrbm

[Anonymous No.6963315]

>think I'm might be getting decent
>decide to quickly copy some refs as practice
>proportions off by fucking mile
Welp, back to self-loathing

[Anonymous No.6963672]

>>6962936
>>6962942
Not gonna lie, this stuff kind of helped me a bit

[Anonymous No.6963872]

>>6960763
im also schizo
>>6960844
cringe. youre just ignoring thigns that bother you instead of thinking about why they make you feel that way. uncomfortabilty is wht drives change inside and outside.

for me drawing out these thoughts to the surface and understanding why they made me uncomfortable was painful but necessary to grow as a person. I get why it was bad, its ok for me to feel or have felt such ways because im only human, and the things ive been through will shape the person i will become, however ignoring them and burying them will work against you, they will affect how you behave and you wont even realize it. this is the kind of thing people cry over in therapy and they have a hard time understanding why they cant stop crying.

also DRAWING them out is cathartic

[Anonymous No.6963882]

>>6956628
you want the real "blackpill"?
you want the true real "blackpill"?
you want the for real deal true blue "blackpill"?
the for real deal true blue ultra giga nigger holocaust blackpill is there are 10 gorillian little fags posting their shitty art and 10 gorillian retards hoping they will pay attention to it

[Anonymous No.6964115]

>>6956628
A friend of mine died of cancer a few months ago and it has simultaneously motivated and depressed me for the last few months. It doesn't help that I really admired their art and it just fucks me up whenever I realize I'll never see more from them again.

[Anonymous No.6965210]

The more I draw, the more I find Ai alluring.
I mean, Does it even matter to learn fundamentals and shit when nobody cares about the process?
Yes, Im doubting.

[Anonymous No.6965214]

>>6965210
>nobody

[Anonymous No.6965266]

>>6965210
>The more I draw
You don't

[Anonymous No.6965280]

>>6965214
literally who cares about how you build boxes.

[Anonymous No.6965284]

>>6965210
>>6965280
It sounds more like you don't care about the process. You don't actually like drawing, you just like the idea of it.

[Anonymous No.6965290]

>>6965284
I like drawing, I just suck big time at body drawing, proportions are my bane.
Meanwhile AI can almost replicate styles perfectly.

[Anonymous No.6965298]

>>6965290
>I like drawing
Okay but do you actually like doing it?
>I just suck big time at body drawing, proportions are my bane.
I'm still pretty shitty and inconsistent myself, but that doesn't mean I dislike drawing just because I make mistakes. Learning from it can actually be fun, like problem-solving your own skills.
>Meanwhile AI can almost replicate styles perfectly.
Okay? So what, you just want to see a drawing instead of actually making it yourself?

[Anonymous No.6965302]

>>6965290
>>6965298
Also forgot but
>replicate styles perfectly
If all you want is to see something in someone else's style instead of being inspired to learn from it then sure, but that's basically a different priority from actually wanting to draw based on your learned experience.

[Anonymous No.6965303]

>>6965298
Its just frustating, people make it seem so effortless, perhaps im a really slow learner, feels like I struggle with things that others handle with ease.

[Anonymous No.6965323]

>>6965303
Look man, I've struggled with drawing for years. It depends on what you want to get out of it. If you want quick bucks and results then hell no that won't happen overnight. But like any other skillset, if you want to do it well enough, you have to put in the effort to hone it.

The best mindset is that instead of judging your work against others, judge it yourself based on your own standards first. From there, work on your most obvious weaknesses. Is it something as broad as form/proportions? Or something as specific as hands/eyes? Work on the broader issues first and then finetune the details so you don't overload yourself trying to fix every single thing for every single drawing. And don't be afraid to think things through before committing, it's easy to say "just draw" if you're just winging it, but if you want to improve, you can do more conscious decision-making so you can actually fix bad habits.

[Anonymous No.6965793]

>>6964115
>>6964115
I had one of my best friends die of cancer too years ago. Everything happened in less or more a year after we had a pretty huge fight, and basically all our common friends let me talk shit about him without telling me anything on him dying slowly in an hospital. so basically I discovered he was sick and died a full year after the thing happened, all time I spent thinking that he was being a shithead for not answering my messages.
Needless to say I completely cut off every bridge with all this social circle, and I stayed without socializing with anyone for at least four years, the time it took me to get over the guilt I felt for not even being able to say goodbye to this kid. This stuff changed me. The fact you had a proper closure with this person, and that you can mourn without brainfuckery is a beautiful thing, a sadness you should treasure.

[Anonymous No.6965844]

>>6965210
90% of _all_ artists will use AI in 5-10 years time. If the "process" was sacred at all you'd still be painting on cave walls with coals from your fire.

[Anonymous No.6965898]

>>6965793
I can't imagine how that must've feel like, but thank you for the kind words anon. Similarly I feel like something in me has changed as I'm going through this. All the little issues I've had with other people just seem so trivial and inane now when put into perspective.

[Anonymous No.6965907]

>>6965793
I can't imagine how that must've felt like, but thank you for the kind words anon. Similarly I feel like something changed inside of me. When I look at the past grievances I've had with other people, it all seems so trivial and inane now when put into perspective. It's definitely made me look at things differently as of late.

[Anonymous No.6965925]

>>6965303
Hey anon. Another slow learner here. I totally understand what you mean. I get surpassed by younger and more inexperienced person all the time. I've had the temptation to just forget it and give up, but I don't wanna give in to that. Don't give in to AI either. It's not an easy way out, it doesn't even involve drawing anymore. I feel absolutely nothing from typing prompts or tweaking parameters. I'd rather draw and suck at it for a while than to pivot to AI and suck at drawing forever.

[Anonymous No.6965998]

>>6965844
lol you're gonna be a frustrated idiot in 5-10 when this doesn't remotely happen. Effortlessly mass-plagiarizing artists isn't art. Real artists see generative ai as the vile parasite that it is. Its basically anti-art. I feel like this should be obvious. Not happening.

[Anonymous No.6966085]

>>6965844
The funny part is that literal cave painting made with dog shit now are inside museums and sell for so much they became the prime money laundering business in the world
You cucks don't realize that if AIshit actually takes over all the creative faggotry, our species is fucking doomed, because you will have the manifest acceptance that objects can substitute people in any context.
If you change your mind I'll be in my cabin in the woods

[Anonymous No.6966640]

>>6956628
I feel like I'm about to do the most retarded shit in my life. I'm considering dropping out of school (again) and convincing my parents to support me financially for at least a year so I can be a full-time artist. I have tried for many years now to get a normal job, be it straight-up working or getting an education/going through training. I ended up quitting every single time because each time I fell into a deep depression with extreme anxiety to the point of considering and attempting suicide. It's like God or the Universe has repeatedly tried to show me the path I am meant to take by punishing me every single time I walk in the wrong direction. Considering the amount of time I have failed, I'm honestly surprised I haven't been disowned yet. I never had the balls to fully go through with suicide because deep down I never wanted to die, I just wanted to get out of this shameful situation. I have recently realized that the only thing that is giving me purpose in life is and always will be art. I was born to create. That's why I want to draw full-time.

I know how this fucking game works. I already have a game plan to gain an audience and potential customers. I've had multiple decent successes, across multiple platforms, in the past years to confirm that I'm on the right track but because I barely had the time (and guts) to fully commit to art more, and post regularly, I lost out on a lot of potential gain.

Please tell me I'm retarded but also tell me that you believe in me. I'm not going to lie, if 1 year passes and I still haven't gotten any closer to making it, I might actually go through with committing suicide out of shame.

I feel like I'm standing at a crossroad. This might be the very moment that will define my life. It might either be the best or worst mistake I've ever made.
I'm scared shitless because I'm staring at the unknown. But I'm also weirdly determined and confident that I can make it if I put my mind and life on the line.

[Anonymous No.6966760]

>>6966640
I believe in you anon. I had to convince my parents a couple of years ago that my pursuit of art wasn't retarded just as well. Things haven't been the best, and I've had to go through some hurdles/obstacles like anything else in life, but I honestly think it was the best decision I made. Even if it doesn't turn out the exact way you wanted it to, you have to keep trying.

[Anonymous No.6966773]

>rough around the edges art teacher is showing girl I like how some muscles on the side of the stomach look
>showing on himself
>he has fucking abs
>girl I like visibly flushed and red all over neck and face
>later cryfap and imagine him taking her roughly

[Anonymous No.6966776]

Does anyone know to actually create good meaningful art from suffering instead of just shitty characters standing in a void

[Anonymous No.6966816]

>>6966776
>Create a character
>something happens to them
>motivated to make things better
>meet people who share the same goal
>they get close
>completely fail
>they manage to have one final rebound as there's a little hope
>this fails as well at the last second
>they doom everything to the point where the world turns into a void
>became the thing they hated,
>character stands alone in white void, unable to die

[Anonymous No.6966864]

>>6966776
Use your own suffering as inspiration. Give the suffering context, something a person can relate to and it will give your art meaning. Be it a single illustration that depicts a moment or an entire scene shown as a comic with text and dialogue. As long as it's familiar you'll create a connection between the art and the viewer. Everybody has suffered in their life, which means everyone will connect and understand your art if you choose wisely on how to depict suffering.

[Anonymous No.6966870]

is this the complaining department?
I hate drawing clothes, wrinkles, and folds are a pain in the ass
I spent more than a year learning perspective, anatomy, and figure drawing and I thought that'd be enough to draw cool characters but guess what, unless you want to draw everybody naked, drawing drapery is a whole rabbit hole, because you HAVE to know how to render, you can't use just line art for some folds, you have to know value control, light, and shadow theory, all that shit
yeah you can use line art but it doesn't look that good, some folds need a soft brush

[Anonymous No.6967128]

I hate that my progress is so absurdly slow compared to others
I don't know why things dont click for me as quick as they do for others

[Anonymous No.6967163]

>>6966773
This is pretty fucking awful. Also
>rough around the edges art teacher with muscles
Do you live in some Fabio romance novel?

[Anonymous No.6967190]

>>6967163
Its not like that, hes pretty thin aaaaaa I want to stop thinking about it he is too old for her

[Anonymous No.6967329]

>>6967190
Well look at the positive side, now you know what she likes. If you move abit in that direction probs you have better chanches

[Anonymous No.6967824]

I have to force myself to do art. That's it. Some people get lucky and they have brains which are designed correctly, which encourage them to do stuff that is good for them. Mine is broken and it will not motivate me for anything. I dropped out of college because I couldn't motivate myself to go to class. I thought I had ADD, I told the doctor but she didn't think so. Now I'm stuck here, being a useless POS who can't do a single thing.

Like what the hell man... I want so badly to power through it, but fuck sakes, my brain is literally broken, its defective and even doing 1 drawing takes so much willpower. Can I really become an artist if it takes this much strain?

[Anonymous No.6967841]

>>6967824
You can go to a psychiatrist without a doctor's recommendation.

[Anonymous No.6967854]

>>6967841
Yeah I saw a psych. She saw that I had negative symptoms of schizophrenia and diagnosed me as schizoaffective, wanted to put me on antipsychotics. But this makes no sense because antipsychotics only cure psychosis, and I don't hear voices or have hallucinations and shit, I'm just extremely unmotivated and bored all the time.

My life's a ruins but I can't try Adderall because some retarded teenagers abuse it so it's hard to get. Cool i guess

[Anonymous No.6967857]

>>6967854
Get a second opinion then.
And if that doesn't work then just try what they say. If you're right that their diagnosis is wrong and you tell them the drugs aren't working for your symptoms then they'll be more open minded.
I didn't even know I had ADHD until I was 31. It put my entire life into perspective.

[Anonymous No.6967892]

>>6967857
>And if that doesn't work then just try what they say.
She wanted to put me on Invega. An antipsychotic which is famous for completely fucking up people's bodies and minds, there's a series of threads on the forum Bluelight going back multiple years for people who regret taking this drug, it emotionally castrates you. Also keep in mind this drug only eliminates positive symptoms of schizophrenia (psychosis), which I don't even have. I went to a psych not because I hear demons or some shit, but because my motivation is so fucked I repeated the same semester of college 4 times, because I couldn't get motivated to do any assignments.

Like what are they teaching psychs in schools? Their thought process honestly seems extremely small-brained. If a guy isn't seeing hallucinations or demons, why the fuck would you give him antipsychotics when they're the most potentially damaging and harmful type of medication out there? The type of med even 100% batshit-crazy schizos can't stay on for long because the side effects are so debilitating. I think I could do the job as well as most psychs right now. Oh he's depressed? Just toss him on Lexapro. Oh it didn't work toss him on Effexor. Oh hmm let's spin the wheel, ah now put him on Bupropion! There's literally no science going on here, they're just spinning a wheel and prescribing whatever drug anecdotally worked for their patients in the past. Basically the same shit as a medicinal shaman in some village. These people are not doctors.

Anyway yeah I should get a 2nd opinion. Stimulant meds could change my life

[Anonymous No.6968458]

>>6967824
Your situation is just like mine. I even went through the same ADD shit, trying to get diagnosed by a doctor but being told to fuck off. What you are feeling is suffering. Don't self-pity, don't blame or hate on others. Take accountability and own it. Embrace it.
Right now you are being tested if you deserve to be the artist you want to be and know you have the potential to become. But if only you had the willpower other artists have you'd be living your dreams, right?

You need to dig deep and max out your resolve. Give art a purpose and live for it. Your inability to draw is a great obstacle that you must overcome. It's your Sisyphus stone. Don't rely on your fried dopamine. Don't rely on your habits. Don't rely on any 3rd party to motivate you. Rely on your resolve and your self-given purpose. This shit is easier said than done, but I believe you are, just like me, sick of being mediocre. You, just like me, know that you deserve to be at the top. But life is not that easy. You need to bleed and suffer and still keep going. You need to embrace the pain. That is the only way to achieve glory for motherfuckers like us.

You must imagine the kind of man you'd be once you overcome this obstacle. You'd be damn unstoppable.

[Anonymous No.6968661]

>>6967128
It's because you spend time mindlessly drawing animeshit, instead of learning perspective, composition and training gestures. Your poses looks stiff and unnatural. Even if you just spend couple months doing figure drawings and you'll get miles ahead of where you were year ago.

[Anonymous No.6968668]

>graduating in 5 months
>art is still shit
Im fucked.

[Anonymous No.6969300]

>>6968661
This may be hard to believe but I do
I've grinded DaB and other perspective courses, I did gesture drawings for months, did loomis for months etc

[Anonymous No.6970335]

>lineart finished and now I have to color

[Anonymous No.6970342]

>>6970335
>You color, see mistakes and you begin the vicious cycle of color, redraw, clean, remask, recolor, and redraw.

[Anonymous No.6970461]

I just can't draw an interesting person to save my life. Its like I check all the boxes for parts of the human body, and I get them all. Had every fucking muscle in mind. But it just looks soulless and shitty, I can't even stand to look at it.

[Anonymous No.6970465]

I don’t suffer because I don’t draw anymore.

[Anonymous No.6970466]

>>6970335
skip lineart and go straight for color,

[Anonymous No.6970471]

>>6970466
dun like colorin

[Anonymous No.6970480]

>>6970465
I did the same and worked great for a lot of years. Then I woke up and realized that in the decade I ignored the fears, they evolved into a literal devil, the final boss of my life, and by letting time go by I put myself in the position of being sure the only way I was going to make it was by a fucking miracle.
Pray you never wake up man. Because if you do, it's hell

[Anonymous No.6970485]

>>6969300
You need feedback, someone who can pick your weak points and drive you to the right studies. That's the quickiest way to improve, unfortunately, it's difficult to find a place where people are willing to give feedback at all and be honest about it.
Second thing you can do is do longer studies and draw what you want, and force yourself to develop a succinct objective critical observation skills, if necessary, do a finished drawing and do a list of everything wrong you can spot, and try to focus on that.

And lastly, use reference always, build a visual library, NO OBSERVATION, NO LEARNING

[Anonymous No.6971083]

>>6970480
lol. You’re a faggot.

[Anonymous No.6971354]

>>6969300
Your gestures are not terrible, I'd advice you to use references, instead of going purely for imagination and do more half-finished figure drawings from life. As in skip shading and focus on form, proportions and perspective. Brent Eviston's courses The Art & Science of Figure Drawing helped me a lot and they are on /ic/ torrent.

[Anonymous No.6971710]

It's really painful seeing these amazing artists who post every day and do these great pieces all the time get no engagement and struggle to fill commission slots.

Like these guys draw at a level I can't even dream of and they're getting jack shit.
Like, it just fucking sucks

[Anonymous No.6971763]

>>6971710
It's been always been like this, Anon.
Think about other fields of entertainment like youtube; who makes the big numbers?
>The guy knowing his field of expertise and making high qualitative videos, offering critical views, maybe not blindly supporting the "current thing"
or
>the grifter who makes clickbait, posts softcore hentai, talks about drama, virtue signals non-stop and makes the most asinine content imaginable
?

It's always the latter because the big majority of active internet users are kids.

[Anonymous No.6971908]

>>6959631
I mean, I am happy now while I'm trying, and I'm sure that when I look back on the work I make today I'll look back at it fondly just like how I've been doing for years now. Enjoy the journey for what it is, the only real failure is being unhappy.
>>6959652
Like sure it's more difficult at times to accomplish what I set out to do, but it's fun and I enjoy the "struggle" especially because once I do achieve a goal I feel so much more eager to move onto the next. It's exciting to me and the people around me are always so supportive. It'd be a shame to give up because of a bad day or something. I hope everybody can have something like that one day too, I think it would make the world a better place.

[Anonymous No.6971912]

>doing internship in bumfuck nowhere
>the work i have to do is boring as fuck
>gym in this shithole city sucks ass
>the fucking customs authority confiscated my weed on the way here during a random inspection while i was in the car with my dad
>crush ghosted me after making out with me and telling me how she liked me
>drawings are steadily improving
Could be worse i guess

[Anonymous No.6972147]

>>6971763
>>6971710
It's always been like this, but it doesn't make it easier to swallow. I knew a couple guys that were really fucking good, but after years of not getting any attention they slowly evaporated.
If anything, this stuff really makes you question yourself on why exactly you're doing this, what do you want to achieve exactly. Don't remember if it's in this thread or I read it somewhere else, but one anon said "there's a story I need to draw before I die". I liked it. I wish I was still like that too. It gave me a sliver of hope.
Maybe somewhere there's actually a good reason to keep going

[Anonymous No.6972156]

>>6970485
>>6971354
Already was using ref but at least it sounds like I'm mostly on the right track
I'll check out the course thanks

[Anonymous No.6972167]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiii have a question.
Why the fuck can't I upload files from incognito mode?

[Anonymous No.6972275]

>>6972147
There are a lot of people with careers and whatnot, that can draw decently but didn't pursue a career in art in any way.
>If anything, this stuff really makes you question yourself on why exactly you're doing this
That's always good.
Even if you don't have "the spark" don't beat yourself about it. As long as what you do makes you happy, there is nothing wrong with it.
Unless you're a furry.

[Anonymous No.6972352]

I've realized most of my suffering comes from not knowing what to draw. Learning construction and anatomy is easy, there a clear path and an objective correct answer. but if you want to draw things people want to look at, you need more than that. You have to go back to symbol drawing and pick the correct symbols.
>just draw what you like
I don't like anything, I gave it all up to learn to draw. I don't consume media anymore.

[Anonymous No.6972452]

>>6956660
>suffering is beyond your control
>choose 1 of 2 options
>you have total and absolute control

I heed not.

[Anonymous No.6972554]

>>6972352
>I don't consume media anymore.
I actually slowly ended like that too, and its starting to become a problem, since even if I wanted to sell out I don't even have any idea of kind of stupid shit people beat their meat now
Fire Punch for the ignorant masses? Shonen slop of the year? That stupid 3D shit with the clown? I despise this shit, I can't fucking draw it

[Anonymous No.6973113]

Between work, drawing, and health stuff I have little to no time for anything else.

Are we artists just fated to be forever alone? Like, how are you supposed to get or even keep a girlfriend on this schedule?

[Anonymous No.6973750]

I think I need to drop video games completely.
Like, other artists might be able to find balance between work-art-leisure, but that's not me.
I should aim to find leisure in, say, a sketchbook rather than a video game.

I always let them eat up my time, even if it's "Just one hour" they have a tendency to occupy my mind for far longer than just the time I'm holding a controller...

[Anonymous No.6973991]

>>6973750
Yeah, if you have a full time job I think its hard to have more than two pther activities you pursue with solid dedication. Currently trying to juggle guitar, physical, exercise, /x/ shit and reinsert drawing there. I already game minimally, but i know I can cut out mindlessly wading in the internet.

[Anonymous No.6973997]

we're all gonna make it!

[Anonymous No.6974006]

>>6973997
except simps

[Anonymous No.6974009]

>>6974006
>simp
we're not in 2019 anymore, sweaty