/NGMI/ (Not Gonna Make It) General

[Anonymous No.6899517]

NGMI but not giving up either: this is a thread for fellow NGMIs fighting through the futility no matter what harm it's done to your mental health or personal life.

Share your NGMI story with the rest of the class

>how old are you
>what made you realize you were NGMI
>how long have you been drawing
>most embarrassing NGMI moment
>most useful thing you learned that you'll probably never be able to put into practice properly

>bonus question: who are your three favorite artists

and always make sure to

>post your work

[Anonymous No.6899529]

>>6899517
>how old are you
at least 18
>what made you realize you were NGMI
I'm responding to this thread
>how long have you been drawing
I don't draw
>most embarrassing NGMI moment
I made a thread called NGMI general
>most useful thing you learned that you'll probably never be able to put into practice properly
just draw
>bonus question: who are your three favorite artists
gabe, tableguy and brian

[Anonymous No.6899536]

Get computer hacked multiple times. Get broken into by thief. Get raped. Aspire to do art for some asshole. Get conned. Get job offers by studio. Get conned again. End up making own project. Get attacked by Mossad angels with telekinetic powers talking to me through sketch book. Recover from psychosis in 2 years from shitty job that caused me to have a mental break down due to no sleep for 5 years. Satan tries talking to me, I tell him to fuck off. Get reeducated.

Sketch for fun now. Ngmi. I hope ai wins and art becomes illegal.

[Anonymous No.6899564]

>>6899517
>how old are you
33
>what made you realize you were NGMI
don't have the stomach for social media shilling
>how long have you been drawing
11 years now
>most embarrassing NGMI moment
nothing in particular stands out except seeing old work on social media accounts I abandoned.
>most useful thing you learned that you'll probably never be able to put into practice properly
Execution matters just as much as studying. Don't do nothing but study but also don't polish turds
>pyw
I'm good. I don't see it but my work is recognizable apparently and I think I'll just piss people off with how defeatist I am despite my skill.

[Anonymous No.6899565]

>>6899564
If you haven't embarrassed yourself. You're not good at art. You have to succeed multiple layers of cringe to get semi good.

[Anonymous No.6899587]

>>6899517
>>how old are you
27
>>what made you realize you were NGMI
Crippling anxiety and autism and ADHD and religion/moralfag
>>how long have you been drawing
All my life
>>most embarrassing NGMI moment
art got very popular but I never sought credit.
>>most useful thing you learned that you'll probably never be able to put into practice properly
Post your work to social media regularly, build a brand around yourself.
>>bonus question: who are your three favorite artists
Phil hale, Katsuhiro Otomo and Akira toriyama

>post your work
No, I don't want my work associated with what I said about myself.

[Anonymous No.6899599]

>>6899565
>show us your old work and also your current work so I can determine whether or not you are good.
so it goes

[Anonymous No.6899616]

>>6899517
I just don't have the discipline or attention span to grind fundies
At this point I'm considering cheating. 3d models, tracing, etc. I'll never stoop to proompting though

[Anonymous No.6899622]

>>6899616
No such thing as cheats. Only results. Proooomt away mighty proomter.

[Anonymous No.6899648]

What the fuck is this lame ass thread? Didn't you hear? We're all gonna make it.

[Anonymous No.6899734]

>>6899517
>how old are you
Turning 30 soon
>what made you realize you were NGMI
When I lost sight of what I wanted to do with art. Now I just draw out of habit and routine but without a clear goal or vision. I never sought commissions or an industry job, just wanted to make shit I like but now idk what I want to do anymore or what I want to achieve with art. I find myself overthinking and I’m unable to move forward in any direction. Been drawing less as a result.
>how long have you been drawing
My entire life
>most embarrassing NGMI moment
I neglected every non art related aspect of my life and thought the pursuit of art alone would keep me sated.
>most useful thing you learned that you'll probably never be able to put into practice properly
Should do focused studies more often
>bonus question: who are your three favorite artists
Changes all the time. Right now it’s Taiyo Matsumoto, Kathe Kollwitz and Salman Toor. I’ll throw Goya, Otomo and Nicolas de Crecy in as well since it’s hard to pick just three.

[Anonymous No.6899770]

>ngmi thread has no art
haha hehe

[Anonymous No.6899788]

>>6899517
>>how old are you
27
>>what made you realize you were NGMI
the first time it was the fact that i was able to make progress faster than some peers but i could never get myself to draw anything original
i confirmed this a second time shortly after the bing/dall-e thing was released, as i always see people with no drawing skills create engaging/funny content with it
>>how long have you been drawing
i really dk. i did it for almost two years back in 2019 but had been doing it since middle school, though not with the intent of imrpoving until i found ic
>>most embarrassing NGMI moment
idk what this means but i can think of that one time i copied a grayscale photo. i wouldn't even call it a study because i wasnt studying anything, i just liked the photo and wanted to recreated digitally. i think many people pointed out that had been a waste of time so that was kinda embarrasing. in my defense it was the second time i was doing it and i didnt really mind if it had taken too much time for no skill gains
>>most useful thing you learned that you'll probably never be able to put into practice properly
again idk what you mean by this. perhaps all those perspective lessons. i almost always draw from reference or observation. i like huston's explanation of gesture as the way you can tell who someone is even from far away by their gait
i also liked his art philosphy lesson at nma, which i luckily found during my free trial
>>bonus question: who are your three favorite artists
idk too many really. i kinda just like individual works, and a lot of times they are works curated by someone else. here's a collage i made long time ago with things i liked
>>post your work
will reply with my xeroxd figure painting

[Anonymous No.6899791]

>>6899788

[Anonymous No.6899826]

>>6899770
Most people don’t want their art associated with bitching/venting

[Anonymous No.6899837]

>>6899517
>29
>I'm well behind artists over a decade younger than me, when I was a kid I wanted to be an animator and work in the industry. That dream is beyond dead but I still draw because I've sunk far too much time, energy, and goddamn money into it.
>Been drawing since I was 6
>Most embarrassing moment? Not too sure desu, I have an online presence though.
>I can't grasp perspective to save my life. Honestly most of the fundies are difficult for me.
>PYW
I post a lot here and would be too embarrassed to have it attached to my bitching. I mostly draw cartoons.
I won't give up but I'm ngmi.

[Anonymous No.6899871]

bumpp

[Anonymous No.6899911]

>>6899517
>24
>When my mother and younger brother, both of whom are pro artists, told me art isn't for me because I'm untalented and should just quit
>Almost a year, but I did draw all my life before quitting like 15 years ago
>Me having to learn from tutorials made by literal teens 8 years younger than me
>All the art books I got. Seriously, you folks weren't lying about Loomis. Great stuff in there.

> Cezanne, Degas, Mondrian. Boring choices, I know.

[Anonymous No.6899917]

>>6899911
You're only 24 bro. And fuck your Mom and bro. They're probably having an incestuous relationship behind your back. Nothing to envy there

[Anonymous No.6899945]

>>6899917
I couldn't give a shit about them but their works are genuinely really good. I also have a teenage younger brother and he just started drawing a few months ago and is already making great progress. Now the other two artists of the family support him and I don't get any of that. Wish I had their asian jeans, but no. Now I gotta grind and shit.

[Anonymous No.6899950]

>>6899945
how much do you draw per day?

[Anonymous No.6899957]

>>6899950
About 2 hours usually, 4-5 on really good days. My problem is that I don't challenge myself enough. I often just spend those 2-5 hours drawing what I wanna draw instead of practicing and going out of my comfort zone. Nothing wrong with that, but I do wanna improve.

[Anonymous No.6899962]

>>6899957
There was a professional artist who said you needed to do master copies for a minimum of 4 hours a day for 4 years, if you wanted a chance at going pro. Food for thought

[Anonymous No.6899963]

[Anonymous No.6899970]

>>6899962
Man, now I really wish I didn't quit back then.

[Anonymous No.6899999]

>>6899970
You're around 2 years into the hypothetical 4 years, anon. 2 more years of 4 hours a day, and your mom and little bro will be ruing the day they curst thou

[Anonymous No.6900015]

>>6899999
I've only been doing 2 hours a day for 1 year so it's the opposite. I've done 0.5 of the 4 hours for 4 years.

Ah well, I'll take any excuse to draw more and motivate me more.

[Anonymous No.6900019]

>>6899517
I'm NGMI because I'm unironically too fucking lazy. I can't bring myself to do anything beyond eating (gained 30 pounds in the last 4 months). Most of my day I'm in bed. I can't even get the energy to play vidya or watch a movie all the way through.
It's starting to scare me

[Anonymous No.6900025]

>>6900015
I wish you luck. Everybody needs a purpose and mission in life

[Anonymous No.6900449]

>>6899517
>how old are you
23
>what made you realize you were NGMI
well for starters i cant finish any drawing i start
>how long have you been drawing
since i was a lil kid
>most embarrassing NGMI moment
realizing i was actually pretty good at drawing when i was 14, i was constantly getting better at drawing as well, and then i just fucking stopped because of boohoo mental illness and now im too old to be considered talented and i havent improved much since
>most useful thing you learned that you'll probably never be able to put into practice properly
being constant with social media, starting and finishing projects
>post your work
why would i attach my work to my whiny rantings

[Anonymous No.6900452]

>>6900449
is 23 really too old?
>t. fellow 23 year old

[Anonymous No.6900453]

>>6900452
According to our friend Google
> Most neurologists agree that the prefrontal cortex is fully developed by the age of 25. As the brain becomes more rigid it becomes harder to develop new skills. For example, a lot of educational systems believe it's easier to learn a new language from a young age.

You have less than 2 years left.

[Anonymous No.6900459]

>>6900019
unless you have a hormonal disease and stuff like that, that's just literally depression, anon. i would also think it was laziness until i stopped doing basic things like showering.
seek something worth living for, adopt a dog that no one wants to adopt and go on daily walks with it, or maybe get medicated if you're into that. that shit will destroy you if you don't do anything to get better.

[Anonymous No.6900466]

>>6900452
>>6900453
i dont know, i dont feel old. i feel like my problems are mostly related to things i cant control, im planning a lot for next year so ill have to wait to see how that goes

[Anonymous No.6900468]

>>6900449
Anon, I'm 28 and I'm learning. You can do it, if you just put in the time.

Treat it like bodybuilders treat their bodies. They start out scrawny little shits, and then a year later, of three days a week training, they're ripped. You make little gains and keep going

[Anonymous No.6900572]

>>6899911
>24
>quit 15 years ago

so you were... 9 years old when you stopped drawing? dude you were barely a conscious being when you quit, obviously a 9 year old wouldn't be that good at drawing what was your mom and brother on

[Anonymous No.6900675]

>>6900572
Oh no, I quit back then because I was a little shit who just wanted to play my DS all day instead of drawing. My family telling me I'm hopeless and should quit happened last year, when I confessed that I really wanna learn to draw again.

[Anonymous No.6900681]

>>6900675
Fuck, I just realized I could've asked my parents to buy me that art academy thing on the ds back then

[Anonymous No.6900697]

>>6900681
I was only allowed a new game for christmas so i think a game about drawing over buying the new pokémon or some wi-fi 2D fighter would never cross my mind.

[Anonymous No.6900709]

>>6899517
Free art college courses books. WGMI

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B8VO-JQCy3HgelpRajdPY3RSXzg?resourcekey=0-7iamq2WLg5aaDd3T3I8e1w

[Anonymous No.6900898]

>>6900709
virus

[Anonymous No.6900989]

>>6899517
32, shit tier social media skills the NGMI feeling is because it feels like you need absurd amount of followers for Patron and Kickstarters to work but I struggle to get a fraction of what's needed for that to work. Drawing since little kid but began with actual classes in middle school, embarrasing when people tell me I should have more followers based on my skill level it just reinforces that I'm shit at social media, and the most usefull thing would probably be the little Korean language I know since that could be pretty usefull in the American and Korean animation studios but I don't think I could actually survive in that environment. Not particular artists but lately I've been appreciating Anime and Cartoon Network shows from around the early 00's.
>pyw
I posted a clown girl in the social media thread...

[Anonymous No.6901050]

>>6900989
>clown girl
You mean pomni? If that's you I'll follow right now. I'm also ngmi but I keep drawing. Though, I do think you're gmi

[Anonymous No.6901066]

>>6901050
>You mean Pomni?
>I do think you're gmi
Thanks anon. That drawing basically double my number of followers, I did another couple fanarts (Ragatha and Jax) they did recieve some attention but nearly as much as with Pomni. Even with the surge in followers and people RT and commenting doing Patreon and or Kickstarter still feels too out of reach. For me GMI meant drawing my comics and being able to print physical copies and be able to sell them, lewd-ish comms and get some bucks out of that seems doable but that wasn't my end goal really.

[Anonymous No.6901083]

>>6901066
Neat. your work is really cool.
I'm trying to get into more erotic work that I will probably extend into fanart. Issue is my skill level though.

[Anonymous No.6901086]

[Worthless No.6901104]

*deep breath*

Okay, bitches. Let's do this. Manifesto, suicide note, whatever it is, I guess I'm doing this, don't have anywhere else to vent.

>how old are you

Mid thirties, not sure of my exact age

>what made you realize you were NGMI

Aside from the fact that my technical skills and sense of aesthetics are complete trash despite all of my best efforts, I tried interacting with my growing fanbase and realized that art would never fill the sense of emptiness in my heart or stop me from despising myself. I thought if I could make other people happy, *I* would be happy. It hit me hard when I saw my numbers going up and began realizing that nothing was going to make me feel like I had value to anyone. At first I was amazed to have 10k followers, then it shot up to 34-35k. More people follow me than the entire population of the rural town I grew up in, yet I resent everything I’ve built and want to destroy it all (and myself.)

>how long have you been drawing

Started at age 25 after realizing I was worthless, retarded and horny, so a little over a decade.

>continued below

[Worthless No.6901105]

>>6901104
>continued

>most embarrassing NGMI moment

Context: grandmother died after eleven years of dementia. I was one of her caretakers, cleaned up shit and piss and pus for years. After she died, I felt broken by the cruelty of the world. Not long after, lost my home business to covid lockdown, had to declare bankruptcy, then lost my goddamn house and had to move back in with my parents.

Knew this guy online for a while. He acted like he was my pal, you know how ‘fans’ are, says shit like “ur the best so hot." In a moment of vulnerability, I told him about my growing existential worries in the wake of my grandma's death, my confrontation with the reality of what it’s like watching your loved ones die, the meaninglessness of life, the struggle to find purpose, poverty. I was going to commit suicide, was hoping for some support. He laughs and calls me an edgy whiny teen, justifies himself by telling me he's “JUST A CYNIC BRO.” He then babbles on about accelerationism and how everyone should use AI because it’s the first step in the creation of UTOPIA, the SINGULARITY IS NEAR, you’ll adapt and humanity will ascend blah, blah, typical chronic internet basket case desperately searching for a solution to the psychospiritual rot that’s over taken the soul he pretends not to believe in. Lost cause. There’s no possibility of a meaningful or authentic connection there, certainly not one that’s productive. He welcomes the destruction of all things humans have built and believes in a future he can’t even quantify, let alone define. Pure cynicism, empty, tells me himself he is “dead inside.” There is nothing there for me.

[Worthless No.6901108]

>>6901105
>continued

Meanwhile, I know this one kid. He’s not a kid really, more like a 22 year old that seems like a kid. Real gentle, sensitive, quiet, shy, there’s a lot of them around these days, you know the type. Fragile. You want to PROTECT them for reasons that feel primal. I genuinely like him, I want what’s best for him. He asks me for help and advice about art from to time time (I tell him it’s his loss if he tries to learn from a permabeg hack like me, but I’m not going to turn him away if he insists,) and I get to know more about him. He wants to thrive in traditional art and use traditional tools alone to create the best work he can. He’s suffering and in a slump, filled with despair. He can’t drive, doesn’t have a job, has no plan for his future, only draws super niche subject matter, and is extremely socially anxious. I try to give him hope, I do everything I can to uplift him and pass down some “pull yourself up by your bootstraps, don’t give into victim complexes” wisdom I had acquired. He listens to me, seems to need me, but I can’t be real with him. I can’t tell him my own fears, my own terror of the future. I fake it. I pretend like I’m brave, like I’m competent, like I know what the fuck I’m doing. One evening, after pepping him up, he says something like “thanks man, you always know JUST the right words to say I feel better," and he goes to draw. I sit there, staring blankly at my discord, at his name, at his cute avatar, reading his words, his carefully chosen words expressed with the difficulty of someone that isn’t naturally dexterous with language, and I just start to weep. I think to myself “goddamnit, stop, you don’t even know this person,” but I can’t. I just cry. And I just keep crying. I weep and sob and quietly close the door so no one will hear me and get worried.

[Worthless No.6901109]

>>6901108
>continued

Around the same time, I backed out of a few discords connected to other creators in the bdsm art scene. I did this because I was becoming overwhelmed with social media. One of those creators messages me, his hackles up, making all of these assumptions about why I left his discord, what a fucking self-absorbed, presumptuous prick this guy turns out to be. He assumes I left because I disagreed with his pro-AI stance. I was like “what stance?” I didn’t even know this motherfucker had a stance, I don’t sit on my computer and obsessively scroll through every post made on every discord. He acts offended by my ignorance, digging in his heels about his assumptions surrounding my motivation for leaving, quickly tries to cut the conversation short with a fake “nice knowing you bye bye!” when I try to explain my own stance, then immediately unsubscribes and withdraws his two dollar pledge. Fine. Fuck him. In retrospect I realized he probably never followed me for me or what I made, he was probably just there to shill his discord. But who knows? Maybe it’s best not to assume his motives either, huh? I have some degree of self-awareness after all.

[Worthless No.6901112]

>>6901109
>continued

Also going off around this time, I’ve got this client. Arrogant, no sense of personal boundaries. Sends me pictures of his ex and whines about her and wants me to lewd her, constantly throwing ideas my way, wants me to make sketches for him all the time, like interacting with a snot nosed bully. This shit eater is fake as hell, buddy buddy one moment prickly cunt hairs the next. Some of his ideas are pretty hot, others plain suck (kid characters, furries, fuck no, I tell him repeatedly it’s not my thing.) I pick one idea that puts a sizzle in my pizzle and do the work, but I don’t like this guy at all. Always pushing, always wanting, needy, desperate, but in an aggressive, socially maladjusted sort of way, bragging about the size of his wallet, waving it around like some cringe wannabe gangster, the kind that wants to look tough in front of everyone but the cracks in his ego are so plain to see, barely covered over with counterfeit pride and self-assurance. Make the mistake of sharing some of my personal art with him, he shits all over it “OH NO, ANOTHER SWIMSUIT ARTIST." Afterwards, he snipes at me wanting to get paid while simultaneously bragging that it’s nothing to him. Piece of shit. Ends our business with “there’s your damn money.” What a cunt stain. I passively aggressively mimicked his personality back to him to mock him all throughout our interactions and I don’t even think he realized just how much of the piss I was taking. Uppity lil bitch.

[Worthless No.6901116]

>>6901112
>continued

Losing faith. I’ve got other “friends” in the art world. All of them are depressed, all of them are alone, unmarried, broken in unique ways. None of them are happy. None of them are consistent with what they do (not that I’m innocent.) I don’t trust them, too many wounds, too many bad experiences stretching back to childhood. I try, but I can’t connect. Have one friend that I thought was worthwhile, interact with on and off for a long time, lots of personal conversations, struggles, seeming connection. Suddenly dumps me one day for an AI, whines about his innate lack of genetic talent as an excuse not to draw, tells me he just “wants to be great at something.” Drinker. Incel. Downward spiral. He’s doomed.

[Worthless No.6901118]

>>6901116
>continued

All of this piles up. What once seemed like a fun and exciting and innocent dream has become an inescapable nightmare. My depression flares up again, my compulsive urge to self-medicate flares up again, and I realize that I’m a hypocrite. Those people who follow me, they’re my own goddamn reflection. I’m as worthless and pissy and self-absorbed and prideful and whiny and fragile and addicted and inconsistent and doomed as they are. They’re all just me in another life, another incarnation. And I know that we’re all trash in an incinerator. I don't know why it hurts so much, but I'm losing hope. All hope.

[Worthless No.6901122]

>>6901118
>continued

My sexual energy is blocked at this point, I can’t cum anymore. Go for weeks without so much as a chub. I draw without passion, I pretend to be funny (and fail) for the audience that I now can’t help but see as a train hurtling towards its fated wreck at the end of the line, box cars full of cattle, some surrendering, some fighting, all of them confused and all of them hopeless. They’re so broken, they’re compulsively trying to fuck anything and everything to feel some sense of relief. And I’m there, too, pretending like I can help them, save them, give them an outlet, release their panicked, anxious sexual tensions by turning myself into their willing prostitute, by lying on the ground with my legs spread for all of them to gaze at and fuck and find release in. This thought once filled me with a thought bordering on spiritual ecstasy. But what’s the point? Nothing I make is beautiful. I’m ugly, in every possible facet. Doesn’t change the fact we’re all going to fucking die one way or the other.

[Worthless No.6901124]

>>6901122
>continued

Betrayed by my own dreams and disgusted by the “fans” I’ve acquired, I deleted my discord on a whim, hurled my "community" into the void, burned bridges with my remaining “friends,” (don’t even know any of their goddamn names or what they look like,) cancelled all of my commissions (bye 2k a month,) go and compulsively attempt suicide in a crisis moment, FAIL like a little bitch and end up even more broken and humiliated. Family is hysterical. I feel guilty for my life like never before. I feel guilty for being here, for having the audacity to be here. I am a pathetic, worthless retard, a grotesque faggot, truly, unironically, a subhuman piece of shit worthy of nothing but disdain.

[Anonymous No.6901126]

Anon for the love of Christ get off the internet for a while and seek a professional
Not even trying to insult, this is genuine advice

[Worthless No.6901127]

>>6901124
>continued

I then try to pivot back into the non creative workforce so I never have to draw again and interact with the ‘art scene’ I so desperately wanted to be a part of. I slip on ice while delivering pizzas at 4 AM in sub zero temperatures, and sustain a major back injury that puts me out of both drawing and working for four months. Lose job. I did nothing but lay in bed and scream and cry while my family emptied my piss and shit jugs. Needed EMTs to take me to the hospital, they load me up on pain killers, tell me it’s a herniated disk, then wheel me out into the waiting room so that someone can pick me up. Only, the pain killers aren’t working due to the severity of the nerve damage (the full extent we only discovered months later,) and my old man has disappeared. He always does this, went wandering because he was impatient waiting for me, doesn’t come back for hours, forgot my phone, not that it would’ve mattered, I don’t even have his number. Hospital is understaffed, no one except patients in the waiting room. I need to piss but I’m still in so much pain I can’t move. Fall out of the fucking wheelchair like the stinking crippled fuck I am and I just lie there on the cold hard dirty floor in my filth.

[Worthless No.6901128]

>>6901127
>continued

Doctor tells me I will likely be grappling with chronic pain for the rest of my life, but if it gets really bad, I can go in for a spinal cord shot. Legit grateful that such an operation exists.

Due to what is now my mental AND physical health crisis, the whole family is panicking, worried, there are fights and arguments about money and mental hospitals, fundamentalist mom discovers I draw erotic shit, gets out BIBLE VERSES, telling me about Jesus, the usual condemnation of evil. Fundamentalist dad tells me I’m possessed by demons. I try to shrug off his schizophrenic paranoia, he’s mentally ill too, it runs in the family. My mom’s an uneducated immigrant whose father abused her, beat her pets to death and pulled her teeth out, I understand that she NEEDS her belief system to keep fighting in her own life, she is a broken woman. But at the same time, I just want her to accept that I don’t believe what she believes. Yet, I’m here looking down at the mess of my life and I can’t help but think on some level, both of them are right about me.

[Worthless No.6901130]

>>6901128
>continued

I start slipping into bad habits. Cruel habits, tendencies I had trained out of myself in highschool. My pettiness starts reasserting itself and like some edgy cunt I begin trolling and bullying randos. Get high, get myself banned from 4chan, again and again, doing everything I can to hurt as many artists as I can and drag them down with me, befriend people only to hurt them, write up bigoted spiels about my own race, larp in neo-nazi circles, stir up hate, lie for both sides, troll for both sides, meme for both sides, shit on random people in comment sections, reddit, youtube, bully people on deviantart, target the weak who can’t fight back, stuff the guilt down, stuff it down, I don’t want to feel human anymore I don’t want to BE anymore. I’m grateful for the internet because in my youth before this outlet existed, I went out into the real world, attacked class mates, vandalized and destroyed property, set fires, killed animals Jesus fucking christ what is wrong with me?

[Worthless No.6901135]

>>6901130
>continued

I try to rope people into committing suicide with me. Keep pushing. Get banned. Lose accounts. Followers of my SFW work have no idea what the fuck happened. Nearly every bridge into the world is burned now, next to nothing left keeping me here. I’m vanishing and I’m erasing myself and my work, the only evidence I ever existed on this piece of shit planet, one little chunk at a time. All of the art world seems like poison to me. Those innocent cute anime faces that once looked so appealing look monstrous and warped now, the colors are grotesque, the horror art I used to find ‘cool' now only horrifies for real, with no separation between me and what I’m witnessing on the page. I’m erasing my digital footprint in order of its purity, from my most innocent, non sexual works first (all drawn in a very different style,) to pre-teen sexual awakening ecchi works finally to this last tether, this little gallery of hardcore works I hoped to grow by leaps and bounds this year. I can’t stop myself. The drive to die is too strong and I’m tired of fighting for control of the wheel.

[Worthless No.6901136]

>>6901135
>continued

I try over and over to return to baseline and begin creating again and stop hurting others. Get into the flow, disappear into the work, rediscover what pleasure feels like after weeks of feeling dead, you know this feeling, that PEAK EXPERIENCE that makes drawing worth it. I laugh at all these hustle culture bros out here trying to do dopamine detoxes and no fap and think “this is easy.” I try looking at pornography after weeks of abstinence and it doesn’t even provoke me to gaze. Manage to bust the occasional nut and it’s like spittle, no force, no power, no life, no vitality, no primordial after glow. I can’t work up the excitement to draw and when I do, I hate everything I make. I’ve deleted hundreds of hours of works in fits of disgust. I worked on one piece for 20 hours just to toss it in the trash and rage empty it. It would be so easy to annihilate it all.

[Worthless No.6901138]

>>6901136
>continued

I seek out mainstream art youtubers I like in an attempt to stabilize. I put on some Steven Zapata streams, always entertaining, always enlightening, filled with the kind of faggoty esoteric shop talk wannabe zen buddhist nut jobs like me resonate with, mixed with his bizarrely profound sense of optimism born of the darkest cynicism. But I find there’s nothing there for me anymore. He starts ranting about anime, one of those ‘faux satirical but not really’ ‘funny rants’ filled with nothing but his own authentic bile obfuscated with cringe “wink at the camera” comedy. I watch this hero of mine, this mentor, this uplifter, and suddenly, it’s like the veil was lifted: he’s just a piece of shit. I see him for what he is: just another elitist piece of shit, pretending to be a prophet of the people, a shaman for the artists. He sits there sarcastically and bitterly scanning artstation’s front page and complains like a petulant child about the trends of “pretty girls,” the only thing I’ve found fulfillment in drawing and aspire to. “Look at all this!” Like a monkey throwing his shit at everyone else’s work. He shits all over the subject matter that has comforted me in this horrible reality and given me a reason to draw, something to look forward to at the end of these humiliating days. He does this all the time, and while I used to find it funny in a cringe kind of way, this time it just made me genuinely sad. He can say and feel whatever he wants, not going to police him. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt to have your heroes tell you what you’ve poured your life into drawing is inherently trash devoid of human value. What a fucking hypocrite he is too, after ranting and raving about how teachers aren’t meant to attack their students on a personal level “OH WHAT DAMAGE IT CAN DO TO THEIR SELF-ESTEEM.” What a pos.

[Worthless No.6901141]

>>6901138
>continued

Maybe it was just bad timing, don’t fucking care anymore to be honest, this whole “let’s all hate on each other but it’s just in good fun bro hurr hurr” trend online is starting to wear thin and I see it for what it is: more cynicism, more death, more emptiness, more desperation, more despair, more crab behavior, more competition, more attempts to push one another over the edge of despair and into suicide.

I turned away from him and couldn’t work up the nerve to draw, to even stare at my silly trash pile of unfinished erotic nonsense, all this shit he casts as mere trend chasing and ignoble and grotesque boring disposable trash for boring disposable trash audiences. I don’t care about what these “heroes” and narcissistic mentors have to say anymore. They’re just noise now. I’m not an “artist” like they are, I’m just a coom stain. I feel like a fool for ever thinking of them as a support network, of ever thinking of myself as “one of them,” as part of some grand artistic community or tradition. What a goddamn, weak willed little mewling cunt I’ve been. Fuck Steven Zapata, and fuck me for getting fooled by such a shyster. Burn in hell you unrepentant piece of garbage.

[Worthless No.6901143]

>>6901141
>continued

I try to unwind with drawfee, my favorite light hearted goofy grinning shit eaters, but nah, man, fuck that. First stream I catch in a long while and it’s just the gang laughing hysterically at Jordan Peterson crying about men’s suffering. What perfect timing! After my suicide attempt, I had watched a number of videos discussing the topic and while I’m not a big fan of Peterson, his video on this particular subject moved me, felt real, felt alive with emotion and empathy, it felt deeply human and it picked me up for a day. BUT HEY LOOK! Here’s more culture war nonsense to heap on the pyre of history, where the self proclaimed stewards of empathy can’t even feel the emotions of their ideological opponents and can do nothing but treat them worse than cockroaches. Fuck them. I came here desperate for some fucking nebulous fun to listen to while pushing through the worst creative drought I’ve ever had, I wanted silly shit, meaningless shit, ‘friend noises’ as they brand it, and I get this dehumanizing psychopatic screed instead. Yeah, guys, fuck me! Fuck suicidal men, fuck their suffering. Fuck the left, fuck the right. Fuck the human ‘tribe’ and all it contains. Fuck drawfee, fuck art, fuck comedy, fuck cringe, fuck meta cringe, fuck this garbage culture. I move on from them, too, sad, defeated, depressed, empty. Just empty.

[Worthless No.6901145]

>>6901143
>continued

How about games? Street Fighter drops, I draw Cammy in her original outfit, get called a racist sexist nazi. Apparently I missed the memo, only “pro-gamergate” alt right radical conservative nazis draw Cammy’s original outfit, didn’t you know, if you see someone playing Cammy in that outfit online IT’S A GUARANTEE they just hate women. Maybe this is what I deserve. I was a dumb faggot that used to consider myself a liberal because “Its ThE ParTy of AcCePtAnCE” and they took me in when the right rejected me for degeneracy. Who cares. Everyone draws Cammy anyway, just “trend chasing” gibberish, whiny self-righteous pussy I am huh? Never should’ve bothered.

Put out two drawings since. Both under performed. My most recent caused me to LOSE subscribers. Fans worrying. Well meaning people come by and I passive aggressively snipe at them, dismiss them. Feel an irrational rage and hatred for everything. Can’t maintain momentum. Every drawing fizzles out. Used to love finishing a work, that "light at the end of a 20 hour tunnel was an amazing feeling," now I can’t barely sketch for five minutes before I move on to something else in a desperate attempt to find something that clicks.

[Anonymous No.6901146]

>>6899517
>how old are you
Depends who you ask.
>what made you realize you were NGMI
I could care less about making it, plus its 70% subjective and 30% objective.

>how long have you been drawing
Since i was 13, but i took a three year break.


>>6899616
Whatever helps you draw i guess.

>>6899648
This.

>>6900019
Flog yourself

>most useful thing you learned that you'll probably never be able to put into practice properly

With enough time i will be able to draw anything

>bonus question: who are your three favorite artists

Bridgman and thats it.

[Worthless No.6901149]

>>6901145
>continued

GODDAMNIT 4CHAN I AM NOT GOING TO KILL MYSELF RELAX. THIS HAS A HAPPY ENDING SPOILERS.

I try to find some small pleasures in past victories. Kind comments encourage me to at least try trusting in others. I check the profile of one ‘fan’ after they leave a comment. I find yet another favorites collection filled with AI generated works made by a few accounts all run by the same mass marketer who just uses chatgpt to automate prompts and shit out thousands of images a day. This ‘fan’ of mine has posted up a nasty spiel about how conventional artists like myself need to start using AI or die, leaving me flabbergasted as to why they even bothered to favor my conventionally made crap in the first place, or why they were gushing about how good it was in the comments. Do they not know I’m a goddamn luddite? An old fashioned pos that worships traditional art? I swallow my distaste for their beliefs (they too are entitled to believe and say what they want to) and weather their “kindness” and “praise” of what they perceive to be my “high intelligence” as a fellow 'connoisseur of bdsm.' They’re wrong. I barely graduated from highschool, yet they insist on their perception as the correct one, while mine is dismissed as incorrect. What kind of fucking bullshit is this? Bitch, who are you to tell me that I am intelligent when I have the goddamn results of my IQ test from high school right fucking here? I AM BORDERLINE RETARDED, spent a goddamn decade in special ed and remedial courses and told by every teacher I ever had I was a distracted, mindless daydreaming sack of disposable slop that would never thrive in life (they were right.) This fan starts babbling on about HIGH IQ AND GOOD BRAINS ARE DRAWN TO THIS KINKY SHIT and I can tell they have this false sense of camaraderie with me, as fans of the same kind of content, as a self-proclaimed weirdo. It disgusts me on a visceral level.

[Worthless No.6901151]

>>6901149
>continued

They want everyone in their little circle to be part of the “cool kids” club, I know what kind of lie they’re trying to sell themselves to make themselves feel like they matter. I did this same shit all the time as a teen. I wanted MY little group of friends to have the best taste, I wanted MY favorite game to be the OBJECTIVE BEST, I wanted to be the smartest and brightest and my peers to be the same. Narcissistic, collectivist nonsense, the only end that line of thinking leads to is agony. I let them down as gently as I can and silently collect another self pitying wound to nurse, “yet another reason for me to die.” I’m peering back into those reflections of myself again and I don’t like what I see, I can’t forgive what I see.

[Worthless No.6901153]

>>6901151
>continued

It hurts to admit this, but deep down I don’t even think these fans are real, they’re just bots, they’re just paid CIA operatives, they’re just ghosts, hallucinations, trolls and so I engage with them as such. I know it’s half insane (maybe,) I know it’s paranoia (maybe,) it’s in my blood (definitely,) this kind of half lucid insanity I can’t help that there’s something wrong with my fucking brain. I just have to lie to myself. “YES THEY ARE REAL” I chant to myself, trying to hang on to rationality and reality, meanwhile another part of me equally as powerful screams “THEY ARE LITERALLY PSYCHEDELIC DEMONS FROM THE DMT DIMENSION AND YOU’RE STILL TRIPPING NIGGER KILL YOURSELF AND WAKE UP.” Yet another side of me says… who fucking cares if they are or aren’t? It’s all meaningless one way or the other and you’re going to feel alone and empty regardless.

That kid I wanted to save is just a distant thought these days. I can’t even remember how to spell his username. I hope he finds a mentor that can help him push through. I hope he makes it. And if not, I hope he finds happiness elsewhere and never becomes like me. I hope he never posts here, gets trapped here, lost here, turns into another devil like me and the rest. I wanted to help him so much, but I just left him behind without a word. How can I help others run when I can’t even walk? I’m an awful person. No wonder I hate myself. I’m so weak.

[Worthless No.6901156]

>>6901153
>continued

Please let me vent don't stop me I need this disclosure, this declaration and confession don't you dare fucking stop me this is how I survive.

If you’ve read all this, I know what you think of me. “What a drama queen, what a faggot. Whiny self-righteous bitch, judgmental, nasty, mean spirited, pathetic, weak, autistic, obsessive, socially maladjusted weeabo, degenerate nigger, psychopath, subhuman, unsalvageable, tranny, cocksucker, disaster, parasite, stain, doesn’t take responsibility, hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite.” Yeah yeah heard it all, every negative assessment there is lives rent free in my head bitch, I’ve made friends with these tenants, we get together and smoke weed every weekend, they mean nothing to me. It’s either that or “GET PROFESSIONAL HELP” like yeah, I’ve done that, you don’t hurl yourself off a bridge and not wind up with shrinks poking and prodding you and writing down notes about their new fucked up toy. I’ve taken the pills, I’ve been through the system, I’ve done the cognitive behavior therapy, I’ve gone to the clinics, I’ve done the self-disclosure, I’ve done the “FRIENDS AND COMMUNITY AND SUPPORT NETWORK” bullshit, the confessions, you absolute cocksuckers, nothing fucking works, my shrinks tell me I have treatment resistant depression of the worst possible sort. I ask them what are my chances and they look away and force a smile and swallow nervously and say “well,” and then offer some optimistic spiel to avoid having to answer the question. I’ve seen the goddamn statistics. I’ve been carrying around this demon since birth, diagnosed with oppositional defiance disorder at age nine, I am a lost cause.

[Worthless No.6901159]

>>6901156
>continued

If you’re smart, your only words to me should be “kill yourself, nobody will mourn, remove yourself from the gene pool, you are an accident, a living example of nature’s indifference, and from a purely utilitarian perspective, you are a liability to the tribe, get out and die alone, YOU DO NOT BELONG HERE.” If you’re smarter, you won’t engage at all.

I try reaching out to other artists. They’re all busy, they’re all fighting to stay afloat in their own lives. They dismiss me, they say “SOUNDS LIKE YOU’RE SUFFERING, we’ll talk later” and they never do. “Oh right, sorry, I forgot, was busy. How are you holding up from that thing that was bothering you lol?" The only people who WANT to talk to me don’t understand what I’m saying, it’s like they have no point of reference for what I’m experiencing, and the only people that do know what I’m experiencing are as shitty as I am, as hopeless as I am, lost, just lost, all of them fucking lost in this suffocating maze, with no insight to give, only more negativity and hypocrisy. They’re just “carrying on. Maybe it’ll get better!”

[Anonymous No.6901160]

>>6901104
>>6901105
>>6901108
>>6901109
>>6901112
>>6901116
>>6901118
>>6901122
>>6901124
>>6901127
>>6901128
>>6901130
>>6901135
>>6901136
>>6901138
>>6901141
>>6901143
>>6901145
Dude, I get that you're struggling and in a dark place right now, and I really don't want you to do something you can't undo, but you need to find someone to actually talk with about all this. You've got a LOT on your heart, more than what people here are equipped to handle, if at all possible, you really should try to schedule an appointment with a therapist of some sort.

If anything else, remember that Aniki loves you.

[Worthless No.6901162]

>>6901159
>continued

It doesn’t, maybe for them, but for me it’s a cycle, a spiral with diminishing returns on hope and exponentially increasing sorrows as I circle the drain. Me and mine (AND OH THERE ARE MORE OF US THAN YOU’D CARE TO IMAGINE) are just “waiting to die.” They don’t know what they’re fighting for anymore either. That ridiculous independent streak artists have is a nightmare to deal with. All you sad fuckers just want to cocoon yourselves in your little fantasy worlds and pretend like the rest of the world doesn’t exist, it’s just a nuisance pressing on the edges of your pure, childlike escape into your imaginary substance-less world, keep ignoring it. You lash out and vent anonymously and pretend to be edgy and strong when you can no longer stomach the fruitlessness of the grind, but I know what you really are. You’re shit. You’re garbage and you know it. Your entire online persona is a maladaptive coping mechanism covering over that pathetic little autistic child you wish you could disown. All of you have adopted the personas and words of your own bullies to spit back out at everyone else while you, your sensitive little bitch ass nigger selves, cower away inside, too scared to be real for a fleeting fucking second, too terrified to make genuine contact with the world, you can’t even share your art because you’re so fucking worried about the repercussions of an authentic expression that you DoN’T WAnT tO Be AssoCiateD witH VenTING. What a sad little pile of dirt you are.

[Worthless No.6901163]

>>6901160
LET ME FINISH YOU SHORT SIGHTED WELL INTENTIONED FOOL THIS IS A VENT I'm not looking for help, I just need to get this shit out.

[Anonymous No.6901165]

>>6901156
>>6901153
That sucks man, need someone to talk to? I can add you on discord

Discord name: yeoldfred


>>6901160

[Worthless No.6901166]

>>6901162
>continued

I start to see more and more how artists treat each other like shit. The hypocrisy is incredible. You whiny cunts complain “nobody cares about artists, waa, waa, why won’t anyone care about artists,” meanwhile you kill and eat your own for cynical entertainment, drive your own away, pass on your own pathologies in never ending cycles of abuse, you transmit your despair and cynicism and denial onto every fucking generation, surrendering like slaves to idealogies you know are wrong just to avoid having to fight for what you really believe, to protect your precious disposable ‘jobs’ for people who don’t even like you, and preserve your online reputation and image and social comfort. We deserve to die. All of our heroes and mentors are pathetic and unfeeling clowns. We’ve got shysters like Steven Zapata, anxious barely functioning manchildren like Ahmed Aldoori who obsessively nurses every wound he’s ever received, narcissistic, self-absorbed wannabe psychiatrists like Adam Duff, who proudly admits to being full of himself, who preys compulsively like an emotional vampire on the vulnerability and pain of his own audience to grow his numbers, capitalizing on private messages he receives and broadcasting them to make himself look like a heroic “daddy” out to protect his spawn.

[Anonymous No.6901167]

Are you NOT done yet? You better post your damn artwork after making me read all this tripe, Anon.

[Worthless No.6901168]

>>6901166
>continued

All of them, shilling products, shilling courses, shilling and shilling and shilling. “GOT TO MAKE MONEY, NEED MORE NUMBERS, GOT TO MAKE MONEY, NEED MORE NUMBERS,” meanwhile they spend that money they’re always begging for on shit that doesn’t matter, on fancy cameras, on EMOTIONAL MUSIC, on PRESENTATION, MODERN SENSIBILITIES, CUTTING EDGE TECH they use once and forget about, on editing, on cinematic lighting and microphones and studios and fucking retarded VR digital sculpting set ups, meanwhile they can’t be bothered to do anything more than click “like” on the occasional comment as they absent mindedly skim and go back to refreshing their engagement statistics. Watching art youtube is like watching a bunch of rats in a cage masturbate, utterly unaware of anything beyond the scope of their slimy little cocks.

[Worthless No.6901170]

>>6901168
>continued

The hypocrisy is overwhelming. At the same time they chase after the algorithm, they complain about the rest of the content they don’t like clogging up the algoslop they themselves are rolling around in like pigs. They just want their slop at the top of the feed, that’s all it fucking is. At the same time they want to seem relatable, they’re surrounded by green screens, thousand dollar computers, perfectly presented workstations, careful lighting arrangements, dramatic music, cynical cringe comedy routines and are always, ALWAYS thinking about how they can get more, have more, invest into GROWTH more GROWTH more REACH. Never content with what they’ve got, the very idea of ‘enough’ is anathema, making them exactly like the rich businessmen they love to shit on for easy virtue points. Needy, needy, needy, worry, worry, worry, fret, fret, fret, fret, fret for their fucking numbers, cocooned in tech, feeding money into the companies they claim are a threat to everybody that will doom us all, but HEY SO LONG AS YOU GET YOURS AND GET OUT BEFORE IT ALL SINKS, RIGHT? MAKE SURE TO CHECK THAT YOU DON’T LOOK TOO RED ON THE CAMERA FEED, MR. MESSIAH! YOU WOULDN’T WANT TO LOOK TOO HUMAN, THAT WOULD MAKE YOU LOOK KINDA LOW BUDGET, WOULDN’T IT? You would lose *GASP* a sense of authority! Brush up on your speaking skills as much as you can, you wouldn’t want to st-stu-stutter, would you? Could hurt the numbers! Could cause diminishing returns! Could slow the growth of your channel! Oh, no, can’t have that, you need your fucking youtube subscriber count plaque, King, chase those dreams! Then they turn around and talk about the ‘soul’ of art.

[Worthless No.6901172]

>>6901170
>continued

Fuck them. Fuck all of them. These consumer drones, clout chasing algorithm enslaved hysterical wannabe prophets and art psychiatrists capitalizing on the fears and struggles of “their fellow kin,” their fellow artists who they instantly categorize and condemn as either “noble or ignoble, trash, not trash,” based on whether or not they like to draw tits, claiming to know what “soul” is while they carefully preen themselves like spoiled little princesses before every stream and carefully select every word and practice their every move, and rehearse their ill thought through motivational speeches in their cars and think constantly about how they can appear more relatable and human and cast as wide a net as possible by trying not to offend people they will never meet. You just know these dumb buffoons are trying to channel Jordan Peterson and Terence McKenna and Alan Watts and all these other philosophical shell game sellers every time they talk. They are so goddamn desperate to be funny and relatable, it’s such a disgusting farce.

[Worthless No.6901175]

>>6901172
>continued

It’s a fucking facade. There’s nothing more fucking offensive than seeing these clowns act like they’ve got your best interests in mind. They don’t. They never did. You’re just a piece of meat on the other side of the screen, a piece of meat with a price tag on it. These fucks are fused to their screens, they’re goddamn chronically online zombies selling snake oil to other zombies. These “heroes" give the bare minimum where it counts. They sweep away everything human, everything real, everything tangible, shitting on their fans behind closed doors, laughing at their student’s work, mocking them, sniping at them, pretending to care about them, they’re just prey, we are prey to our heroes, not compatriots. Occasionally one of them gets emotional and cries, how authentic! I wonder if they immediately weighed up the social pros and cons of posting it? “If they see me cry on camera, it’ll make me look brave and real! They’ll like that! That MEANS MORE MONEY MORE RETURN MORE AUDIENCE RETENTION HURR HURR THIS WAY THEY’LL KNOW I’M REAL, I’M SO BRAVE!” Weaponized, commodified tears, there’s a unique place in hell for these kinds of people.

[Worthless No.6901176]

>>6901175
>continued

Some fool deleted my opening post where I explain that I'm a NGMI because even at 30-35K followers, I still feel unloved, just for added context. Jesus, this place is sensitive, thought this was the FREE SPEECH ZONE.

Dipshits like Steven Zapata are so far gone they turn their own self-awareness into a cynical weapon to use against their followers, mocking them for their need for parasocial connection while keeping them trapped in dependency on them, all the while bitching about society being dependent on the very tech industry that allows them to continue feeding their own lusts, refusing to own up to how their passive submission is killing us all. Stratified discord hierarchies based on money, meanwhile these same Le Artistes bitch and moan about how CaPiTalIsM HuRTs THe CReaTive SoUL whaa.” We got hyperactive dumb fucks like Jazza running around like headless chickens masturbating to their own compulsions, chasing after ill defined growth, chasing after variety, chasing after constant reinvention and change, trying to sweep away their authentic beginnings and bury their own humanity to escape JUST BEING REAL WITH THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOW THEM and want them to see them.

[Worthless No.6901177]

>>6901176
>continued

OH but there’s too many of them! Bitch, if you spent a few hours a day engaging with comments, it would be enough. Literally anything would be enough. We shitless retarded worthless motherfuckers just want an acknowledgement that we even exist, goddamnit the fact that someone leaves you a comment in the first place is evidence of what a fucking loser they are that they have to come to you and waste their time talking at you of all people. They aren’t getting that shit anywhere else, slow down and throw them a fucking bone, say hi, say thanks, ask them a question, say something, say anything, SEE US FOR ONE MOMENT.

[Worthless No.6901179]

>>6901177
>continued

They’re all so carefully curated, carefully selected, carefully, carefully, carefully, not a spontaneous action in sight. Half of these shitheads hide behind cartoon avatars, ashamed of their faces, ashamed of their voices, afraid to make mistakes, afraid to be real with anybody, and THESE are the supposed “heroes who made it?” These are the self-absorbed, unrepentantly predatory, self-justifying shitheads we’re supposed to look up to and hold up as examples of “MUH CREATIVE ARTISTIC SOUL?” These bitches, so scared of censorship, so scared of offending, that they don’t draw what they want, they can’t talk about anything beyond the surface level, can’t stray past the boundaries of the cage, always worrying about what they look and sound like? These loathsome, cynical, self-serving cunts don’t even invest money into truly helping artists where it counts, everything they do is self-serving. Where is the next conceptart.org? Where is a rebooted deviantart, the new platforms, the “thriving alternatives” in this supposedly free market? These self righteous shits sit up there, propped up by the algorithms of platforms they claim to hate, gaming all of us, crunching their numbers, pretending they get us, that they are “one of us." They don’t fucking get us at all and they ARE NOT LIKE US. They put all of their money into themselves, all of their clout and skill and experience goes to feeding their narcissism, their growth, it’s all just competition so they can flex and wave their dicks in the wind and serve the big companies they (wittingly or unwittingly) work for by empowering the platforms.

[Anonymous No.6901180]

>>6901149
>I AM NOT GOING TO KILL MYSELF RELAX.
>THIS HAS A HAPPY ENDING SPOILERS.
Ok, that's very good, I'm glad for your resolve and your situation improving.

Problem here is that you printed out like 30+ full length posts in a row, which is kind of past what's suitable for an image board format, you really should write this down in a blog or journal. Maybe few, if any, will ever get around to reading that (who knows though, maybe you'll make yourself very interesting to people one day), but while it's good to put things like these to words, you're eating up this entire thread.

Make a blog somewhere, write it out there, and then link it here.

[Worthless No.6901181]

>>6901179
>continued

They wail and rail against AI like THAT’S THE REAL EXISTENTIAL THREAT LOL while ignoring the fact that the ENTIRE art world all around them has been a GODDAMN BUCKET OF CRABS FOR DECADES because we have nowhere else to go, no healthy places to settle in or communities to call home, we don’t have a fucking israel. Bitching about AI, pathetic. AI came us for us first because artists are so far up their own asses and so resentful and hateful of their own that they never bothered to take care of each other. We got eaten first because we don’t stick together and they all goddamn know it yet are doing nothing to change.

[Worthless No.6901185]

>>6901180
Back off, officer, I ain't doing nothing wrong. Let me finish, this thread was doomed from the start.

[Worthless No.6901188]

>>6901181
>continued

The art world of the modern internet is a disasterpiece unlike any I could’ve imagined. And it has nothing to do with algo slop, it has nothing to do with PRETTY ANIME GIRLS or fan art or any other bullshit. Its problems are far deeper reaching. The very same thing artists are always whining about, greed, is the VERY THING that is killing them how goddamn poetic. The begs and ints are overflowing with hopeless niggers a cunt hair away from pulling the trigger. Artists are atomized because not even our fucking heroes want to put their best foot forward and bring any of us together, they just want to bring us to THEM, to THEIR little solitary patreons, THEIR little solitary discords, THEIR little solitary courses. They wait for someone else to MAKE THE NEXT BIG PLATFORM THAT RESPECTS ARTISTS, they offload the responsibility of making and maintaining a good forum for artists because they don’t want to band together and do anything for anyone else but themselves. They are tech addled businessmen and nothing else, they’re opportunistic vultures picking the meat off our bones and hoping to get away with it before the coyotes come for them, too. Successful artists barely even look at the work of their peers, they’re too busy scanning the past for inspiration to see how their shunned brothers and sisters are falling apart all around them and reaching out (fruitless) to them for help.

[Worthless No.6901190]

>>6901188
>continued

“It’s too hard, waa, I’d have to hire a staff to moderate a new forum, waa, that’s money, I need a new camera first, waa, I won’t get paid as much, waa, nobody will see it, waa, what about my monetization waa, what about my courses, waa, I’ll only do it if it’s guaranteed to work I wouldn’t want to lose any money, I can’t run the risk of getting cancelled because someone said “nigger” in my discord, buy my course, get it, look, buy this, buy this, buy my fucking product.” Then they tell all of us broke motherfuckers who can BARELY CRAWL to “BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE” while they go and buy another pair of 500 dollar headphones. If even ten of these fuckers could pull their heads out of their own asses and work together, we could have a new golden age for learners, imagine just ten big youtube artists and mentors linking their audiences to a shared, moderated forum filled with useful categories. Instead, we get platitudes heaped upon platitudes. The artworld is a fuming junkyard of useless sentiment and grotesque levels of hypocrisy. It’s because of these attitudes that we’re here on /ic/ in the first fucking place. THIS SHIT HOLE, this insufferable, cursed and rotten predatory self hating self defeating SHITHOLE FILLED WITH SUICIDAL DEPRESSED FAGGOTS is the closest thing to a thriving art ‘community' we have today. What the actual fuck? What the actual fuck? Why the actual fucking fuck do I have to post this here? Why am I the one who has to say this?

[Worthless No.6901192]

>>6901190
>continued

I don’t want to go to x y z’s private discord where a bunch of desperate cultists have gathered to suck the toes of some self-proclaimed art messiah, I want a forum, an actual forum, a public space, a communal space, A HOME somewhere, anywhere in this pig stye, that is active, fairly moderated, stable, and USEFUL and welcomes all types of artists, high brow and low brow, degenerate and non, and isn’t fucking paywalled or gated behind a personality cult, or so politically compromised that you can’t even draw a cartoon butt without getting banned for "hurting women."

[Anonymous No.6901193]

I promise to read all this, Worthless-san, but I won't be able to finish it until maybe tomorrow evening. Lots of stuff to chew through. In the meantime, keep venting. Love it

[Worthless No.6901195]

>>6901192
>continued

But who am I to bitch? I’m no fucking different. I too am just another autistic angry shithead with nothing to contribute to any of this. I’m powerless and pathetic and all I can do is piss and moan about things I have no real power to change. You know if I were making it on youtube, I’d probably chose to spend my money on a new pair of headphones, too. I’d waste another ten hours editing in a bunch funny close ups of my carefully shaved face and color coordinated outfit. I’d write dumb jokes and rehearse them to make myself look more linguistically dexterous than I am, that always wows the retards in the audience. I’d spend hours searching for JUST the right dramatic stock music to play over cinematically lit footage of me drawing too, instead of, you know, answering emails, engaging with a handful of comments (takes like one two fucking hours every few days at most, pussy) or helping artists build a home for themselves, or actually living what I preach. It’s the path of least resistance, so OF COURSE, why wouldn’t you take it. Why wouldn’t you take the path of least resistance? It’s not like there will be consequences down the line for it or anything, that’s just rubbish, hindsight has never been 20/20, right?

[Worthless No.6901198]

>>6901195
>continued

Fuck it. Who cares anymore. It’s all just noise. They will never change. World gave them the power of shamans and priests and kings, and what did they do with it? They wielded it like used car salesmen. They didn’t help us, they helped themselves, and then told us to pay them so they could keep us addicted to their little personality cults instead of actually building a worthwhile nation for artists, a real tribe.

Mentally I’m disintegrating more and more. Personality seems to be splitting, worrying because people with a history of abuse are more likely to suffer from these kinds of fractures and I meet all the criteria. I feel like I’m dividing into separate “characters” while the real me is just kind of passively observing, trying to disappear, being cocooned in layers of falsehoods, in layers of armor, in lies that I’ve told myself over and over to deny how much pain I’m in. I don’t know if it’s detachment or not, madness or not, I don’t know who I am, what I want, what I stand for anymore, and all of my compasses have pointed me here, to this end, to this stinking, rotting hole where I mock, belittle, lie, distort, whine, cry, piss, moan and drag others down at every opportunity because like a goddamn hilariously evil JRPG villain, I want to take others down with me. I want you all to suffer but I don’t really know why. I want all of you to fucking fail like I have I want you to fucking kill yourselves with me so at least I won’t have to go into that terrifying void alone. We’re all headed there eventually! There’s nothing to cling to here anymore, so why delay the inevitable?

[Worthless No.6901199]

>>6901198
>continued

In short, my entire creative life has been an embarrassment. I’m ashamed of what I’ve made, I’m embarrassed how long it’s taken me to get mediocre, I’m disgusted by the low quality of work I put out, I hate that the algorithm has been kind to me of all fucking people. I’m both angry with, hurt by, and deeply disturbed by the people who have surrounded me. I built it, they came (literally,) and I am filled with regret that I ever took the first step. I’m sick of the art culture, I’m sick of youtubers and streamers and fake virtual fucking parasocial relationships with corporately sponsored cunts pretending to be puppeteer anime girls, I’m sick of the hero worship, I’m tired of poverty, I’m tired of the hubris, the narcissism, the greed, the indifference, I’m tired of watching myself let other people down, I’m tired of pretending like I’m something I’m not, I’m fed up thoroughly with what the internet has become, with the lack of communities, with the erasure of the middle ground IN EVERY SPHERE. It’s fucking degrading and exhausting. The politics, the virtue signaling, the racism, the ironic humor, the cringe, the meta cringe, post-meta-meta-ironic-post-ironic-meta-cringe, the grind, the hustle, the utopian cyber hippies, the product shilling, OH the shilling for products, the monetization, the ads, the little personality cults, the trolling, the futility of trying to find meaning and make genuine social connections, THE CONTENT THE CONTENT THE EDUTAINMENT THE CONTENT. I’m tired of my flesh, my skin, my face, my stupid ambiguous skin color, my inability to understand who I am culturally, where I fit in racially, where I fit in politically, sexually, spiritually, where I fit in artistically, socially, goddamnit I fucking hate that I’m still here.

[Worthless No.6901201]

>>6901199
>continued

Worst of all, I know that even with breaks (long ones, I do fucking take them you morons,) I just come back and the shit still smells the same.

Oh, motherfuckers, let me tell you about my woes, let me cry and moan and piss and complain some more! Here’s the final lap, promise, this cringe shit ends soon. I thought, delusionally, that I was gmi, that I was going to help somebody, to provide art for outcasts to indulge and escape and be one with the beautiful and boundless primacy of the sexual body that animated us all, that strange gravity, that energy that brought us into this place, a place I used to think was filled with beauty and sublime experience. Something that once seemed so bright and full of fascination, variety, warm with love and a visceral reality. I thought, in a moment of absolutely insanity, that maybe, just maybe, they would actually love what I made, and maybe even love me a little bit. They would respect me, care about me, support me, reach out to me, engage with me, and that they would be my equals, my family, my friends. In a way, I did make it. I got the ball rolling, I got the population of a small town to cum all over me, I started seeing results. Upward trend man, trending upwards. But looking at it all now, I’m ngmi. I don’t want to make it. Maybe I could have made it, but why bother? This is hell. Who wants to rule in this shithole? Who wants to float atop the algoslop and be the first to get eaten by the pigs? Who wants to participate in this ‘discourse’ about human expression when all anyone does is shit all over the things we love and want to express? Who wants to share anything with these mindless consumer drones who auto favorite everything that looks remotely coherent? Who wants to be peers with people who call a fucking youtuber their “daddy?”

[Worthless No.6901202]

>>6901201
>continue

Who wants to join the inner clique of an elitist art mentor that charges out the ass for an incomplete crash course in the fundamentals? Who wants to take the advice of washed out geezers that have no idea who their audience even is anymore? Who wants to interact with artists who can’t be bothered to respond to more than one comment a month? Who wants to ask for help and get told to kill themselves? Who wants to seek the approval of artists who don’t even see their followers as fully human, just numbers, just data points? Who wants to chill with peers who are whiny and entitled, insecure and despairing, suicidal and fucked beyond repair? Who wants to belong to a fucking 4chan community of larpers and failures who don’t even draw? Who wants to get commissioned by barely literate faggots high off the fumes of their own self-important overwrought ideas? Who wants to fight for a place on platforms that don’t care if you live or die, so long as you suck their cocks and give them a percentage of everything you earn? Who wants to “make it” in this hypocritical field where your mentors are all bullies and ideologues for trendy political causes? Who wants to express themselves to an audience that doesn’t even know what the fuck you’re saying?

[Worthless No.6901204]

>>6901202
>continued

I’m so goddamn sick man I’m fucking choking on the stench of my own rot and self-importance. I’ve given up. All that’s left is a corpse for my “fans" to fuck, and that’ll eventually rot away, too. Good riddance to all of it. Good riddance to the grind, good riddance to the heroes, good riddance to the smiley fake fucks and depressed suicidal teens and out of touch old men and psychopathic idealists and utopia worshipping demagogues and confused pundits and spiritually bankrupt “teachers” who offer salvation in one hand and poison in the other. Fuck the lame wannabe edgy bitch ass niggas on /ic/ who go into every thread ass out chanting their juvenile shit. “Hurr hurr it’s just funny bro why can’t you take criticism kill yourself, everything you love is trash just being honest bro just kidding bro, don’t take it seriously bro hope you die of cancer bro, kill yourself, hope your family dies, please respect me and fear me, I’m insecure and scared and I don’t want to die alone don’t ask me to pyw I can’t deal with that kind of pressure be kind to me bro.” Nobody needs your shit, retard. You’re not even funny. Shut the actual fuck up and sit down.

[Anonymous No.6901205]

>>6899517
>how old are you
24

>what made you realize you were NGMI
When i realised that i draw stuff that like one or two people like in a forest of millions

>how long have you been drawing
5 years

>most embarrassing NGMI moment
Probably hasn't happened yet

>most useful thing you learned that you'll probably never be able to put into practice properly
Finding a proper audience.

>bonus question: who are your three favorite artists
Van Gogh, Serusier and Satomi Kazunori (he likes fun)

>PYW
dont be mean guys

[Worthless No.6901206]

>>6901204
>continued

And AAAHHHHH SHIIIIIT I can hear the other side warming up already! Here they come, the Cowboys, the all american heroes here to help us help ourselves! The good ol’ fashioned PICK YERSELF UP BY YER BOOTSTRAPS wannabe lone wolves and their frayed old bag of true and tried tricks and everlasting wisdoms and sermons. “WHINE WHINE,” they say, "YOU SHOULD TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOU LIFE” they say. “IT’S ALL ON YOU PARDNER, I CAN’T HELP YOU IF YOU WON’T HELP YERSELF,” they say, then gallop off into the sunset to smoke weed and sniff their farts, reveling in their overwhelming pride in their self-assurance and unwavering certainty in THE POWER OF THE GRIND. Nuh uh. Not this time. Fuck you, white boy. Fucking survivor’s bias is what that line of thinking is. I’m a cow in a slaughterhouse, who the fuck are you to tell me to free myself? Dumb animal can’t take responsibility for its life no matter how hard it tries, no matter how hard it wants to escape, its destination was assured by powers and principles that established themselves long, long before it took its first breath. It’s being pushed on all sides by electric shocks, kicked, spat on, struck, battered, pushed, funneled towards the pneumatic pump at the end of the line. Its handlers have blinded it, cut its damn ears off, pulled out all of its teeth, branded it, tortured it, broken its spirit through a lifetime of abuse, try and turn back and they break your fucking legs, they cut off your shins and roll you into the kill zone. Escape? Responsibility? Nonsense. There’s nowhere else to go. Young artists today are just livestock and you know it. You’re just glad you escaped the meat hooks by fleeing through a hole in the fence, a hole that’s NO LONGER THERE. We’re still trapped in the cultural machinery we were born into, domesticated by it, unable to move where we want to move, blinded by barriers YOU COULD HELP US BREAK, but you won’t.

[Worthless No.6901209]

>>6901206
>continued

You escaped by virtue of luck, you picked up drawing before the handlers patched the hole in the fence and perfected the tools of our demise. “Oh, those poor cows, if only they would just take responsibility for themselves and overcome all these trials and tribulations” bluaah SHUT THE FUCK UP, I can see and smell the diarrhea spraying out of your cunt mouth, you repellent whore. Uh huh, because working hard is NOT what we've been doing all this fucking time, yeah. We’ve just been… chillin’. Taking it easy. Just relaxing. Just curled up over here in the slaughterhouse, blowing our own dicks and going to parties and starting families and makin’ YOUTUBE VIDEOS and celebrating our fucking milestones, our decades of industry connections are really paying off, look at all these video game companies thriving, look at this wonderful, wonderful comic book scene, look at all these movies and fulfilling opportunities! SO PROUD OF YOU. Easy out for you, huh? How convenient that your insular self-serving philosophy frees you from all self-examination and basic consideration. Does it feel good, big shot? Does it feel good to wrap yourself up in your comfortable status quo? Does your philosophical complacency get you hard, you self righteous, wannabe intellectual pretentious lil' fuck? Do you sleep easy at night, knowing you get to keep doing what you’ve always done: nothing helpful? How about ‘we’ take responsibility together?

[Worthless No.6901211]

>>6901209
>continued

How about you lend us some real weapons to arm us against this nightmare, like a, I don’t know, a kind word in the comments, a non-gated platform to congregate on, a moment, just a fucking moment where you don’t insult our intelligence as you ask us to pay you and subscribe to you so you can try to sell us another overpriced tablet or tell us about squarespace? No? Oh shit I’m sorry, sir, is that a bit too ‘collectivist’ for you? Is it too “Marxist?” Is it too cost ineffective to respond to decades old fans, say “hey, I appreciate the comment?” Or to read your fucking comments? Or to check your emails? Or to say hi? Or remember somebody? Or check in with more than once a year? Or to not turn every goddamn facet of your life into monetizable CONTENT? We should all just escape through the hole in the fence, the same one you used, the one they covered over with five feet of steel? Fuck off cowboy. Sincerely, bitch. Ride off into your sunset and die alone in the desert. I’ll have my brains punched out here in the slaughterhouse. When we both get to hell, don’t worry! I’ll have your back pardner, just like you had mine, promise.

[Worthless No.6901212]

>>6901211
>continued

Man, what’s so fucking hilarious about all this… what’s so fucking hilarious is that it was that ONE DAMN accelerationist “buddy” of mine I tried to talk to about how much pain I was in that set off this spiral into mopey cringey oblivion, check out this autistic temper tantrum. I tried. I tried to be real, I tried to say what I felt, I wanted some humanity, some gentleness, some kindness, some fucking empathy from that piece of shit. I ain’t got no connection to the world, man, I’m an outsider, a nobody, invisible, I’m just a fucking ghost. And there was nothing there. Nothing. There was NOTHING there. Nothing behind the eyes. A FUCKING ROBOT. Just another broken idiot coomer clinging to useless half baked answers to impossible problems he was too lazy to solve or think about. “I JUST WANNA COOM GET OVER IT I DON’T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING UTOPIA BRO RELAX BRO” fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. nothing but shit memories in this whole scene. This whole journey filled with freeloaders and dickheads and bullies and scammers and fake fucks, fake socializing, fake humans, fake people, fake goals, fake satisfaction, none of it lasts, none of it matters at all and I might as well have never existed. The people who make art and love art are as fake as the art itself.

[Worthless No.6901213]

>>6901212
>continued

That’s why I always liked 4chan you know. Everything just sort of sinks into nothingness. Everything is forgotten and erased, nothing leads to nothing leads to nothing. Waves of painful static broadcast out of the collective human consciousness. What a joke. And what a joker I’ve been.

I’m done. I’m fucking done. i’m burned out I’m tired I’m insane I’m broken, I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to be an artist. I’m a histrionic fucking basket case, I’ve hurt people I’ve hurt them terribly, I’ve killed innocent animals, I’ve senselessly bullied and stalked and harassed and I deserve no fucking pity or mercy. I just wanted some affection, you know? Someone to tell me it’s okay, that I’m gonna be okay, that I’m not going to suffer and die in a freezing void for all eternity, that there’s some PURPOSE to this life, some point to all of this chaos and insanity. Every action I’ve taken has led to more suffering for myself and for others. Every careful plan I’ve tried to enact has melted into shit in my hands. I hate myself. I hate the people around me. I hate my fans. I hate this world. I truly hate this world. I don’t know who you are, but you? I hate you, too. This isn’t my home. This isn’t home. I want to go home away from this. Take me away from this. Please someone free me from this hell. I don’t know what I did wrong. What did i do wrong?

[Worthless No.6901215]

>>6901213
>continued

>most useful thing you learned that you’ll probably never be able to put into practice properly

who fucking cares

>bonus question: who are your three favorite artists

who fucking cares

That’s it man, that’s all I have to say. I’m out, drawfags. Agree, disagree, cringe, cry, scoff, laugh, skim, analyze, whatever, I don’t care I’m out. Already begun deleting everything, balls rolling. Income shrinking, mind unravelling. I ain’t going on welfare. I’m not taking your fucking handouts.

I just wanted to draw beautiful anime girls and psychedelic space monsters and bdsm. I just wanted to make people happy. Relieve their pain. Give them some momentary pleasure. I can’t. I’m sorry. I’m sorry to all the young artists i might have hurt, here, elsewhere. I’m sorry to that kid who thought I was one of the good guys. I’m sorry to those friends I hurt. I’m sorry to my family for the things I’ve done and said. I’m sorry I’m too cowardly to say it anyone directly. I’m so sorry. Bye, /ic/. Witness me.

Just kidding, I'm gonna make it. I'm just leaving /ic/, this is my resignation. I hope it hurts you as much as you've hurt me. So long. Take care of each other.

[Anonymous No.6901216]

you done yet, stupid?

[Worthless No.6901217]

>>6901215

[Anonymous No.6901218]

Above all this nigga needs a friend

[Worthless No.6901219]

>>6901218
Nigga needs to kill himself lol what an embarassing fag.

[Worthless No.6901222]

>>6899517
Looks like there really is no such thing as free speech. Man, you know, I thought I'd feel better after venting, and I did actually feel pretty good. Now that you've deleted everything I wrote, I think I will actually kill myself.

[Anonymous No.6901224]

>>6901222
4chan was never about free speech, that was a meme

[Anonymous No.6901226]

IT'S GONE.

I WAS GONNA READ IT

[Worthless No.6901227]

>>6901224
HAHA they won't even let me point out that it was deleted.

It's like... they're all the same.

[Anonymous No.6901228]

>>6901227

you should check out betterhelp.com

[Anonymous No.6901229]

>>6901226
Check an archive site, pretty sure it'd still be there just with a trash icon next to it

[Anonymous No.6901230]

>>6901226
Just look up this thread in an archive, dummy.

[Worthless No.6901234]

>>6901226
Here you go, brave cringe warrior.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1mCwGZcCNNkrACoGiABgAzOEbSMOpAkob/view?usp=sharing

[Worthless No.6901235]

>>6901219
Love how this comment gets to stay but the guy who is legit struggling with suicide has all of his posts swiftly deleted.

[Anonymous No.6901236]

>>6901219
This is on all the people who have perpetuated threads like the watercooler talk, the coping general, the vent general, anime study general and every which other thread who enables mental illness.
Folks like this need to go outside, talk to people and if they can't like this dood right here because of a serious disability go to /soc/, /r9k/ or even /adv/ but nope, you people just have to enable all the schizo threads on this board.

[Anonymous No.6901308]

>>6899517
Jannies still deleting all mention of it. If you want to know who has power, look at who you can't criticize.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1mCwGZcCNNkrACoGiABgAzOEbSMOpAkob/view?usp=sharing

[Anonymous No.6901312]

>>6901226
They're still deleting it. Must have pissed someone off, haha

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1mCwGZcCNNkrACoGiABgAzOEbSMOpAkob/view?usp=sharing

[Anonymous No.6901340]

[Worthless No.6901357]

>>6901340
Yeah. Yeah, you're doomed, alright.

Boxes. Study boxes.

[Anonymous No.6901359]

>>6901357
chores, do chores

[Anonymous No.6901361]

>>6901357
His art looks good imo

[Anonymous No.6901362]

>>6901359
Drugs.
Do drugs.

[Worthless No.6901370]

>>6901361
Yeah, to a cave salamander with vestigial eyes, maybe.

[Anonymous No.6901372]

Worthless-kun, where the fuck is my promised happy ending?

[Anonymous No.6901373]

>>6901372
Janny went mental and wiped everything. It was an interesting read too

[Anonymous No.6901384]

>>6901362
i'll have to go back to ass

[Anonymous No.6901396]

>>6901372
Yeah damn man i was invested.

[Anonymous No.6901449]

>>6899648
Source?

[Anonymous No.6901459]

[Anonymous No.6902164]

>all that vent and he didn't post his work
well he lived up to his name

[Anonymous No.6902168]

>>6902164
What makes you think that venters do actually draw stuff?

[Anonymous No.6902189]

[Anonymous No.6902930]

shibuya rin

[Anonymous No.6903027]

>>6899517
I am going to make it and so are you (yes, even you OP)
>how old are you
25
>what made you realize you were NGMI
irrelevant question
>how long have you been drawing
All my life, but only seriously for the past four years
>most embarrassing NGMI moment
I have a billion in all my sketchbooks, doesn't matter
>most useful thing you learned that you'll probably never be able to put into practice properly
Draw what you see, not what you know
>bonus question: who are your three favorite artists
Bouguereau, Mucha, ZUN (character design GOAT)

[Anonymous No.6903068]

how old are you
about your dad's age
>what made you realize you were NGMI
Very mediocre skills, but more importantly lack of interesting ideas.
>how long have you been drawing
more or less all my life from time to time.
>most embarrassing NGMI moment
nothing I can remember. some old work is cringe but it doesn't bother me. I did lot of embarrassing things but not with my art.
>most useful thing you learned that you'll probably never be able to put into practice properly
it seems most who are successful at art
did enjoyed to copy, never was appealing to me.
>bonus question: who are your three favorite artists
so many beautiful images around. will not name anyone particular.

[Anonymous No.6903112]

>how old are you
78
>what made you realize you were NGMI
/ic/ told me I was a permabeg
>how long have you been drawing
5 years
>most embarrassing NGMI moment
Someone told me i was /int/ and then said he was just joking.
>most useful thing you learned that you'll probably never be able to put into practice properly
Color theory

[Anonymous No.6903156]

>>6903112
respect for picking up something new in your old age, anon.

[Anonymous No.6903222]

>>6903112
>>6903156
Ditto this. Yeah, it's rough, but so what honestly. Just have fun

[Anonymous No.6903286]

>>6900468
This is the way.

[Anonymous No.6903413]

>>6899648
Yep. Even one such as I can make money from commissions and craft fairs.

[Anonymous No.6903649]

>>6903156
Yeah but I have diminished neuroplasticity. And aphantasia. Also I haven’t had fun with a pencil in over ten years.

[Anonymous No.6903702]

>>6900019
Are you sure it's not depression anon ?

[Anonymous No.6903759]

>>6899648
REAL. Lemme do my own thing rq

>how old are you
25
>what made you realize you were NGMI
Idk. I was never the best in the room despite how much I loved to draw, but that's okay. I think maybe it's supposed to be that way so I work harder and before I know it I'll make something truly awesome and based. Can't be satisfied with my current skill level cuz then I'll REALLY be NGMI.
>how long have you been drawing
~all my life~ but actually found some damn direction and started doing studies maybe 2ish years ago?
>most embarrassing NGMI moment
Idk I just feel embarrassed for the people who were mean to me cuz they were the type of people to find any excuse not to draw despite having dreams of artistic grandeur. They all gave up on themselves and dont draw anymore, very stereotypical crab stuff. Maybe my most embarrassing moment was letting them stick around for as long as they did, but these are learning experiences so whatever lol.
>most useful thing you learned that you'll probably never be able to put into practice properly
I keep tip-toeing around *drawing* because I enjoy painting too much. Something about color, form and texture just massages my brain so good. But I need to draw better if I want to be a better painter so I'm practically forcing myself to be a linework chad by doing manga panels and trad ink stuff. Surprisingly I've been having a lot of fun with it!
>bonus question: who are your three favorite artists
Uwaaaa this is impossible for me, I'm always exploring and adore all kinds of art! but I've always liked Sachiko Kaneoya in particular. She has most the things I like: surrealism, cute guys, trad and digital chad, fun themes and compositions. Wayne Thiebaud is also one I really like, his coloring is so fun I always end up trying to emulate it just a little bit in my oil/watercolors.
Hope you guys figure it out and stop being so doomer! You're wasting your own time and energy by making yourselves sad. Better to live with all your might!

[Anonymous No.6903897]

>>6903112
>78
lol nah you aren't

[Anonymous No.6903900]

>>6903897
nah you are

[Anonymous No.6903901]

>>6903897
Fuck you, whippersnapper.

[Anonymous No.6904597]

>>6899791
Damn bitch got calves to make tiger woods jealous!

[Anonymous No.6904604]

Stop this depressing circle jerk and FUCKING DRAW

[Anonymous No.6904606]

>>6904604
I don't see you posting an original art piece

[Anonymous No.6904992]

[Anonymous No.6907514]

>>6899517
>how old are you
20
>what made you realize you were NGMI
I looked at that image of some guys collection of several hundreds of drawings and how he still hadn’t gotten any better and realized it echoed my situation
>how long have you been drawing
Three years “seriously”, my entire life prior casually
>most embarrassing NGMI moment
Dedicating an entire month to focusing on heads because i realized I was really interested in capturing emotions and facial expressions and still being bad at drawing them
>most useful thing you learned that you'll probably never be able to put into practice properly
Changing mindset from normal life to drawing, also realizing that drawing something actually ingrains it into your memory far more than rote memorization

[Anonymous No.6908160]

[Anonymous No.6908212]

Drawing is the only skill I've encountered that just makes no sense to me on any level. I genuinely don't understand what other people are actually doing when they draw. Even childish symbol drawing seems like some sort of unattainable magic.

My best guess is that the unspoken foundation of drawing is the ability to identify contours, which does not come naturally to me. My drawing process revolves around analyzing features of the subject and going through mental checklists to decide whether or not something is a contour. As a result, placing a single line takes me an ungodly amount of time, and I spend 20+ hours on crude sketches that may never end up even vaguely resembling the intended subject. I once spent about a hundred hours on a small cartoonish figure only slightly more complex than a stick figure.

I have yet to learn a single thing about drawing. The books I've read on the subject all seem to provide solutions to problems I'm not advanced enough to have encountered (despite supposedly being aimed at complete beginners,) or I'm just not able to figure out what connection the information in them has to the actual act of drawing. If I had some sort of basic understanding of what exactly drawing is and how it's performed I could probably work out the rest from that foundation, but that will probably never happen since it seems to be assumed that everyone finds the skill intuitive enough to have figured that out as a kid. Other visual arts make sense to me since I can clearly see what ties the artwork to the subject, but drawing seems inherently abstract, and I don't know how to deal with that.

[Anonymous No.6909233]

>>6908212
Is this a copypasta?

[Anonymous No.6909245]

>>6908212
Drawing is making illusions.

[Anonymous No.6909280]

>>6899517
>how old are you
26

>what made you realize you were NGMI
Comparison - whenever I see a really good drawing or painting I think I'll never achieve anything like it. Not because I lack the technical knowledge, but because I don't have an original artistic vision.
I never know what to draw. I struggle considerably when I do know what to draw because it takes me a long time to figure out the most appealing way I'm able to draw it.
I'm mad inconsistent when it comes to style and drawing frequency.
I may like what I draw, but I'm never truly satisfied.

>how long have you been drawing
Doodling since high school. Read my first drawing book in 2017

>most embarrassing NGMI moment
Don't have one

>most useful thing you learned that you'll probably never be able to put into practice properly
Don't know

>bonus question: who are your three favorite artists
Pietro Antognioni, Yoji Shinkawa, an anon from the drawpile thread

>post your work
Sure

[Anonymous No.6909322]

>post on Pixiv
>some works do well with their algorithm and get good traction
>if I allow AIslop, my suggested artwork feed's first page is cluttered with uncanny AI slop
It does get demoralizing, knowing that people who should be seeing my works have feeds which are filled with AI on the first page (since we know most people don't bother or don't know how to turn it off)

[Anonymous No.6909330]

>>6909280
>Don't know
don't cop out on this one! What do you think is most important piece of advice for beginners? Your art is good!

[Anonymous No.6909332]

>>6908212
This is what happens when beginners try to learn to draw by copying photos or life.

The true, secret method to good drawing skills is copying cartoons. Every master artist started out by copying Dragon Ball Z and Sailor Moon, what makes you think you can skip that step?

[Anonymous No.6909348]

>>6909332
/asg/ has been copying and swallowing the cum off whatever artist they're trying to shadow and they've become nothing but a laughing stock. Fuck off.

[Anonymous No.6909374]

>>6909348
Nta but when I make it I will come back and save /asg/ just to spite all the people who are mean to them

[Anonymous No.6909527]

>>6908212
>I once spent about a hundred hours on a small cartoonish figure only slightly more complex than a stick figure.
howling

[Anonymous No.6909541]

>>6909332
"Drawing for fun" is actually the step that a lot of later in life learners skip. Kids who like to draw copy cartoons and stuff because they look at the drawings, think "wow those are so cool I want to draw that!" and then they draw them. Over and over and over again, without judgment or self doubt. And over time they'll want to draw these characters in situations for which they can't find a panel to copy, so they just do their best and smile when they get something on the page that kinda resembles what they wanted. Through this they form a comfort with connecting their eye-imagination-hand in a drawing process.
Later in life learners tend to start off following rigid methodologies and studies, and then when something doesn't come out right, they fret and worry and cry about how they're never going to be good enough. Of course you CAN learn to draw this way, but a lot of people don't develop that comfort and versatility which comes from having a lot of hours of unrestrained free drawing. Like somebody studying a foreign language as an academic pursuit, versus a native speaker or even somebody who just moves to a foreign country and learns the language through immersion -- and the one who will be the best is one who studies and immerses themselves.

[Anonymous No.6909602]

>>6908212
I was struggling with drawing, so I gave up and started modeling in 3DS max. That's when it all clicked to me and I finally understood drawing, it's really easy if you imagine you're sculpting a 3D scene but projected in a 2D space.

[Anonymous No.6909656]

>>6899517
>how old are you
29
>what made you realize you were NGMI
My insanely low speed and gains, anoms here would probably think I started drawing last year or maybe two years ago. In other disciplines I learn fairly quickly so I must have exceptionally loe talent.
>how long have you been drawing
9 years
>most embarrassing NGMI moment
I think not even something about me but some random anon in /beg/ surpassing me within a couple of months sfter never having drawn before(he also drew porn which makes this even worse)
>most useful thing you learned that you'll probably never be able to put into practice properly
The easiest way to learn is draw from imagination, then immediately after draw the same thing from ref, then immediately after from imagination, etc.
I got my biggest gains that way and still barely use this.

[Anonymous No.6909667]

>>6899517
I'm 28 and realized I'm an eternal ngmi.
My childhood dream was to work in cartoons and animation. I was dumb enough to let my family's encouragement delude me into thinking I could actually do it.
In reality I still draw like an autistic child with poor fundies. I will never have a career in art. I graduated with a degree in graphic design, applied to 100s of jobs but my skills there are also shit so I'm unemployed living with my parents. I'm a complete socially inept tard who can't drive and has wasted his whole young adult life. Never had a girlfriend, horrible fatigue issues, literally can't stay awake for more than 5 hours. I can't quit art because I've sank too much time and money into it.
I'm currently trying to grind in hopes of at least becoming GOOD even if I will never work in an industry.
I'm giving myself a decade or else I'll lay down and rot

[Anonymous No.6909695]

>>6909667
And to expand on my complete autistic delusions, I was drawing and coloring with fucking crayon at like 21, thinking I'd one day work in the industry. Honestly I belong in a retard home

[Anonymous No.6909835]

>>6909332
>t. mikufag
lol
lmao

[Anonymous No.6909882]

>>6899517
>I can't draw from imagination
>Using reference for everything feels like I am just copying
>I can't even copy accurately without fucking up the proportions

Is 60-70% accuracy enough? I only know basic perspective, seeing 3d shapes and how to rough sketch something that resembles what I am seeing. I don't know what to do from there. I don't know anything about texturing, shading, adding details, color theory, gesture or anatomy.

[Anonymous No.6909884]

>>6909667
>>6909695
You sound like 99% of art students lol. What matters is the present, and what you do now to fix your life

[Anonymous No.6909886]

>>6909835
Mikusama is the best artist here

[Anonymous No.6909939]

I'm going to make it. I just need to draw instead of lie in bed all day.

[Anonymous No.6909950]

>>6909939
you could draw in bed I usually do but it can hurt your neck

[Anonymous No.6909953]

>sit down to draw
>thinking of ideas
>no, that's boring
>that's shit
>that's cringe
>2 hours later
>didn't draw a single line
>hundreds of rejected ideas
Even proompters are more creative than me

[Anonymous No.6909958]

>>6909953
Draw the shit one and the cringe one, my best work always happens when I think to myself "I shouldn't do this" but then I do it anyway.

[Anonymous No.6909960]

>>6909953
I have the same negative thoughts when I do single illustrations, like I go "what's the point" and "who's gonna care about this" and then I give up.

But when I storyboard out a whole comic, and I have characters I really love, and a a story that is meaningful to me, I am able to finish the whole thing. Everything seems to "matter" at that point

tl;dr take the mangaka-pill

(if you can't write a story, go to the library and get a book of classic short stories by HP Lovecraft or Edgar Allen Poe. You can just adapt those into a comic, replacing the characters and situations with your own characters and events.)

[Anonymous No.6910436]

>>6909884
I honestly don't think there's any fixing it. If I get behind the wheel of a car something horrible WILL happen. Drawing is all I have so I'm going to grind or rot. I'll get some bullshit wagie job to survive though.

[Anonymous No.6910463]

>>6899517
The only people who aren't going to make it are people who draw western comics and try to market themselves as "manga artists".
People who actually draw manga because they love the craft and appreciate the artform though, they will make it.

[Anonymous No.6910585]

[Anonymous No.6910631]

>>6910585
Coomable but draw one with a full body

[Anonymous No.6910688]

>>6910631
you're asking a schizo who has been shitting up unrelated doodles of busts of the same variety for years the impossible

[Anonymous No.6910780]

>>6910631

[Anonymous No.6911349]

[Anonymous No.6911364]

>>6911349
Blog?

[Anonymous No.6911679]

>>6910688
Awww shit, nigga, what you gonna do now that you fucked around and found out?!
>>6911349

[Anonymous No.6911684]

>>6901066
thedansandoval? If so I've followed you for a while, was surprised to see how few followers you have, are you cursed?