Critique

[Anonymous No.6893206]

How do I make the pose less stiff and awkward? Redlining and anatomy tips pls

[Anonymous No.6893209]

>>6893206
Be honest. Did you trace 3d models?

[Anonymous No.6893211]

>>6893206
make red dress put one leg between White's legs so she can stand closer
also smoking is gross

[Anonymous No.6893213]

>>6893209
Nah here’s the reference image

[Anonymous No.6893215]

>>6893209
Be honest. Are you a complete beginner?

[Anonymous No.6893221]

>>6893206
Both bodies are angled awkwardly towards the viewer which makes them look flat and static.

Besides that though, I can see things in this drawing that should have appeal but the strange hairiness of it makes it very off-putting. I don't necessarily mean the body hair or having curly hair either. There's a pecking, hairy quality to a lot of your lines as well that makes it kind of unpleasant to look at. You can dismiss this as preference though.

[Anonymous No.6893235]

>>6893215
No? Most of the time when someone's drawing looks stiff it's because of tracing 3d models so it was safe to assume that at first.
>>6893213
Bella's back is more arched than your drawing. Same with Edward's head being slanted slightly. Getting rid of slight movement like these could lead to a stuff drawing. Not sure if it was done on purpose to slightly differentiate from the ref. You should really practice gestures with focus on the connection between the head, spine, rib cage, and pelvis. Practicing that connection can really help loosen up drawings.

[Anonymous No.6893236]

>>6893235
>stuff drawing
meant to say stiff drawing

[Anonymous No.6893254]

>>6893235
Paul Richards has good advice. Basically the more cartoony the style the harder you need to exaggerate the pose for it to work properly.

[Anonymous No.6893264]

>>6893221
>>6893235
Thank you so much !

[Anonymous No.6893394]

>>6893206
It looks flat because you made the lower torso look more sideways than it should be.
Upper part is fine but the lower torso is lacking the same angle
That and also that your spine lacks the flexible arch

[Anonymous No.6893425]

It's particularly stiff because the drawing is like perfectly sideways in some spots while others it's not, so it the poses don't appear natural despite the reference you used. Look into gesture drawing for practice. That'll help you loosen up your poses.

[Anonymous No.6893470]

>>6893206
Even in drawings they'll never pass lmao

[Anonymous No.6893557]

>>6893206
what;s up with the arm and leg hair

[Anonymous No.6893729]

>>6893557
Tranny derangement syndrome

[Anonymous No.6893754]

>>6893206
Lesbian woke shit copy of hetero chads

[Anonymous No.6894005]

>>6893206
I love your attention to details and i also love your lineart. I think it's because i do not have the patience to do all of those details.

I tried to help as much as i could with the proportions.

It's not the best retouching i could've done , i actually think i missed some stuff but i do not have time to more.

I do hope this helps.

Update us if you decided to rework it. Good luck.

[Anonymous No.6894139]

>>6893206
>>6893213
You fucked up the body language.
Your drawing's girl on the right needs her shoulders held back more and her back arched more. Please put more emphasis on where her knees are. Her legs look like sausages. Extenuate the girl in the photos more feminine bone shape in the shins women have.
The girl on the left needs her shoulders facing the camera more stiff and forward instead of low like that to show weight is on it and she's full of tension ready for the kiss.