IM FUCKED IN THE HEAD

[Anonymous No.6513730]

>draw something
>wow... this was just a quick drawing but i'm very proud of it
>take a closer look at the woman I've drawn
>she looks like my mother
IT JUST KEEPS HAPPENING, I KEEP DRAWING MY MOTHER ACCIDENTALLY, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I EVEN THOUGHT OF DRAWING THE SAME CHARACTER WITH A DIFFERENT HAIRSTYLE NEXT TIME BUT THE THEN I REALIZED THE HAIRSTYLE I IMAGINED IS JUST THE OTHER HAIRSTYLE MY MOM HAD WHEN SHE WAS YOUNGER

[Anonymous No.6513736]

the only woman you know is your mom

[Anonymous No.6513740]

>>6513736
I never had a girlfriend sure but I was friends with a couple of women and also had an older sister

[Anonymous No.6513752]

use references.

[Anonymous No.6513754]

>>6513752
i did, i subconsciously picked out the one that looked similar to my mother and then while referencing it I subconsciously made it look more like my mom

[Anonymous No.6513773]

>>6513736
literally me, but i draw lolis

[Anonymous No.6513824]

>>6513773
Going off this anons framework >>6513736 ou draw lolis because other than your mom, kids you played with in school/daycare are the only "women" you interacted with

[Anonymous No.6513828]

>>6513824
>in school/daycare
Giving that pedo too much credit.

[Anonymous No.6513830]

Is it a bad idea to ask my mom to nude model for me? I'm too scared to leave the house and go to life drawing classes.

[Anonymous No.6513833]

>>6513830
Drawing from life is a meme. Just draw jap/chink whores on Twitter. I can help you get started with gathering references.

[Anonymous No.6513837]

>>6513833
>Drawing from life is a meme
this
I have diplopia caused by astigmatism and i cant draw shit close to me unless i close one eye

[Anonymous No.6513839]

>>6513837
Wait, voluntary double vision isn't normal?

[Anonymous No.6513854]

>>6513839
You shouldn't get it on stuff you're currently focusing your vision on

[Anonymous No.6513906]

Post your mom.

[Anonymous No.6513939]

>>6513736
>>6513740
>>6513773
Your unconscious feminine tendencies - intuitively associated with your creativity, feelings, and among many other things, relating to others - remain undifferentiated from the mother imago due to your inability to relate to women. Pornography stunts this underdeveloped inner figure into something even more childlike and infantile, and this way of communicating with your unconscious mainly remains as a primitive sexual outlet.

This psychic factor, or "anima", has played a role in the psychology of men since the dawn of history, expressed in the imagery of muses, faeries, succubi, etc. If you do not develop and consciously integrate this femininity, it instead possesses you, and you paradoxically become even less masculine. If it's redirected entirely inwardly through waifu imagery, you grant it autonomy and it unconsciously possesses you even further. It drains more of your mental, sexual and creative energy than it replenishes, thus becoming vampiric and succubine. This is the dark, devouring, chthonic aspect of the feminine, and it is dangerously seductive.

This inner femme inspiratrice or soul-image can only fully come to life and be made conscious when it's projected onto a woman, and when that projection is later withdrawn and realized as an inner power. When such projection takes the form of deep infatuation, you instantly feel you've somehow known that woman your whole life, only to later realize that part of what you admire in her and can relate to is something you carry within.

The Oedipal myth is very complicated, despite what the Freudians say. When the Sphinx confronts Oedipus, she merely pretends to die when her riddle is cleverly answered, and this only perpetuates the tragic ending. Similarly, you cannot overcome this through the masculine powers of the mind - vacuous, avoidant intellectual pursuits - as it requires both creative inner realization and active relating to the outer world, especially to women.

[Anonymous No.6513940]

>>6513939
in english please bookworm?

[Anonymous No.6513978]

>>6513939
In Jung's view, a man's mind has unconscious "feminine" aspects (vice versa with "masculine" traits of women). In men, they're often expressed in images and fantasies which are divine, nurturing, pornographic, etc. Their initial form is influenced by the man's mother and how he feels about her, which also influences his romantic attachments later in life.

In addition to the personal mother, there's an underlying "blueprint" within all men's minds of what a mother should be, what a lover should be, etc. This is archetypally responsible for the repeating motifs in myths, narratives, and in male psychology whenever "the feminine" is concerned.

If the different aspects of this inner femininity are not developed and differentiated, a man will be, among other things: unable to relate to others (especially women), feel insufficiently creative, be effeminately bitchy and moody, be unable to mentally separate himself from his mother, retreat into pornography, be attracted to women that are either far too young or too old, etc.

Mere intellectual realization of this problem is not enough. Nor is the temptation to avoid it through wholly inner creative pursuits, masculine pursuits such as career and physical activity, nor intellectually float above it through through science, philosophy, technology, debate, etc.

If you deny and suppress this factor, it drains and possesses you in unexpected, negative ways. If you are bitter towards your mother or towards all women, you are split inwardly - it turns against you and poisons you. If it's expressed only through a waifu, you remain infantile at best and detached from reality at worst.

Besides everything else needed become a balanced, self-aware, truly creative man, one must also confront this "problem of the feminine" inwardly through introspection, art, fantasy, etc. and also by truly relating to women - romantically, emotionally, sexually, etc. Otherwise your phallus withers away symbolically (if not literally).

[Anonymous No.6513979]

>>6513940
In Jung's view, a man's mind has unconscious "feminine" aspects (vice versa with "masculine" traits of women). In men, they're often expressed in images and fantasies which are divine, nurturing, pornographic, etc. Their initial form is influenced by the man's mother and how he feels about her, which also influences his romantic attachments later in life.

In addition to the personal mother, there's an underlying "blueprint" within all men's minds of what a mother should be, what a lover should be, etc. This is archetypally responsible for the repeating motifs in myths, narratives, and in male psychology whenever "the feminine" is concerned.

If the different aspects of this inner femininity are not developed and differentiated, a man will be, among other things: unable to relate to others (especially women), feel insufficiently creative, be effeminately bitchy and moody, be unable to mentally separate himself from his mother, retreat into pornography, be attracted to women that are either far too young or too old, etc.

Mere intellectual realization of this problem is not enough. Nor is the temptation to avoid it through wholly inner creative pursuits, masculine pursuits such as career and physical activity, nor intellectually float above it through through science, philosophy, technology, debate, etc.

If you deny and suppress this factor, it drains and possesses you in unexpected, negative ways. If you are bitter towards your mother or towards all women, you are split inwardly - it turns against you and poisons you. If it's expressed only through a waifu, you remain infantile at best and detached from reality at worst.

Besides everything else needed become a balanced, self-aware, truly creative man, one must also confront this "problem of the feminine" inwardly through introspection, art, fantasy, etc. and also by truly relating to women - romantically, emotionally, sexually, etc. Otherwise your phallus withers away symbolically (if not literally).

[Anonymous No.6514024]

>>6513979
>If the different aspects of this inner femininity are not developed and differentiated
What does this even mean
>a man will be, among other things: unable to relate to others (especially women), feel insufficiently creative, be effeminately bitchy
I feel like widely observed and scientifically tested phenomena such as epigenetics, ctpsd and the devastating effects of depression on the brain explain a coincidentally vague group of mental issues more effectively than Jung's 100y old crack-pipe theories
Also I do not feel like I have issues relating to women, I had a number of female friends and I consume art, content and literature made by women
>If you deny and suppress this factor, it drains and possesses you in unexpected, negative ways
Deny and suppress what exactly? And how would one go about doing this? This is too vague
>If you are bitter towards your mother or towards all women, you are split inwardly - it turns against you and poisons you
Though I used to be an edgy misogynist as a teenager, I can say with certainty that that period of my life is over. And as for my mother, I view her through the lens of what she did - beat me up, abused me psychically and turned my family against me. Whatever caused her to do this doesn't absolve her from what she did.
>If it's expressed only through a waifu
I do not have a waifu
>Besides everything else needed become a balanced, self-aware, truly creative man, one must also confront this "problem of the feminine" inwardly through introspection, art, fantasy, etc
Isn't this exactly what I'm doing by pouring my feelings into my art and talking about it?
>and also by truly relating to women - romantically, emotionally, sexually,
I am not currently interested in romantic relationships, with men or women as a matter of fact, I'm autistic and changes in my routine frustrate me

[Anonymous No.6514060]

>>6513940
In the most simplest terms of what that guy said, he's saying that each human has a feminine/masculine counterpart inside of them opposite of their sex. But this part of the human psyche is one of the most difficult to master and first you need to understand your shadow to do this. Basically to full develop the personality you need to develop this "other" you or other sex of you hidden in your psyche that is mostly hidden in the unconscious. By understanding this part of the persona (the anima/animus) the alchemical union of the divine androgyne will be complete. I forgot who, but there was a writer who when writing would try to channel his anima through his writings and he would sign his name as her too, he would be an example of someone using their creative side to understand their anima/animus. It's pretty much derivative of alchemical concepts.

[Anonymous No.6514065]

>>6513730
PYM
post your mother

[Anonymous No.6514127]

>>6514024
Obviously, relying on a single theory (e.g. Jung's) or diagnosis is limiting when it comes to anyone's unique situation. Ideally, one would approach it both from the outside-in (habits, measurable neurology, medication) or from inside-out (introspection, creativity, dream interpretation, spirituality - if one is inclined to those).

The problem with the Jungian approach isn't that it's strictly unscientific - it's deeply researched, has interdisciplinary precedent, and can be measurably helpful for people whom it intuitively clicks with. But it blurs into things that aren't measurable (thus falsifiable), and it's absolutely not something anyone can undertake, enjoy, or understand. I summarized some of it here because it might offer some context beyond seemingly wanting to fuck your own mother.

It's great that you feel you can relate to women in real life - I can't speak for your circumstances, I attempted to instead condense a lot of general tendencies that are often intuitive/relatable. And I think I could hardly offer any direct advice or prescriptions on here, given the problems you mentioned, and since I myself have serious SzPD traits.

Regarding denial/suppression and differentiation - I think whatever someone has as potential but doesn't live out, tends to then grow against them. Do you feel that deep down that you might still desire, or be able to pursue a romantic relationship? I think that mighty help you differentiate truly undiscovered aspects of yourself, unless you've really made peace with it. It also depends on finding someone you can actually fall in love with, which can be agonizing.

I'm not implying you should needlessly absolve people - I'm truly sorry that's happened to you, it's an absolute achievement to move on to the extent you have. But if you feel ready to approach whatever might be unresolved from your childhood, I'd recommend looking for a therapeutic approach that works for you. And keep making art <3

[Anonymous No.6514131]

>>6513830
yes it is a horrible idea to ask your mom to do such a thing
start by walking around your block for an hour and make small talk with a cashier about the weather or something mundane like that.
if you can do those two things, you should be good to go
if you end up failing, keep trying, you'll get it eventually

[Anonymous No.6514132]

>>6513730
sameface syndrome lmao

[Anonymous No.6514147]

>>6514060
>But this part of the human psyche is one of the most difficult to master and first you need to understand your shadow to do this
Yeah, it's really fucking tricky. The concept of the Shadow is much easier for people to grasp conceptually, and "integrating your Shadow" is also the prequisite to grappling with any deeper contrasexual archetypes (anima/animus). If this sounds too fantastical, then observing the patterns of how and why the contrasexual figures of your dreams appear and act (which you objectively have no conscious control over) based can be a measurable and helpful way of understanding it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cb573ps63Bc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEYuQMVbB2s
However, even if someone doesn't use these (and other) concepts therapeutically, they're still very interesting, influential, and useful when it comes to interpreting a vast array of creative works.

[Anonymous No.6514166]

>>6513730
I noticed i draw dark skinned females a lot and i suspect is because my female cousing raped me when i was little.

[Anonymous No.6514216]

>>6514127
>and can be measurably helpful for people whom it intuitively clicks with
I think this applies to me, as it absolutely doesn't click with me. I had more luck with other theories, I came across most of them while listening to Zizek lectures and adjacent ideas

- The sexual fantasy is a way for the mind to create a new association to violence, thus distancing yourself and moving past trauma
- The fantasy is an alternative "redo" of a traumatic memory, where instead of being abused while stuck in a relationship you cannot escape from, I imagine a relationship which is abusive but I can leave anytime, thus making me paradoxically feel in complete control as I am allowing a woman (who is similar to my mother) to abuse me for my own pleasure.
- It's a twisted way for the mind to take pleasure in everything, even in a deeply traumatic memory
- You covet what you see, it's not actually weird to find the general phenotype of your family member attractive or a sign of deep mental turmoil
Oh, I should also mention that I don't jack off to these fantasies, they just make my brain feel good.

>Do you feel that deep down that you might still desire, or be able to pursue a romantic relationship?
Well maybe, truth is I'm not sure I would be interested in "regular" sex and I'm feeling generally insecure about my body which is a can of worms I actually haven't dealt with. I've talked with someone who is in a relationship despite claiming to be asexual and depriving no joy from genital stimulation. If they could do it then I could too, but I'm not hurrying to find a partner.

From what you're saying it sound like you've been struggling yourself for a long time, well it might just be the case that your framework is just not doing you any good? "If the rule you followed, brought you to this, then of what use was the rule?" It's a quote from a fictional psychopath but disregarding it's possible capabilities to turn you actually schizophrenic, It's a valuable method.

[Anonymous No.6514295]

>>6514216
>The sexual fantasy is a way for the mind to create a new association to violence, thus distancing yourself and moving past trauma
>The fantasy is an alternative "redo" of a traumatic memory,
That might sometimes be the case - especially if you consciously strengthen such a mechanism because it might feel helpful. But I can't really judge how much it actually helps based on what you've written, and I can't draw many personal parallels to it.

But generally speaking, in male psychology violence and sexuality can intermingle and be mutually compatible, but fear and sexuality cannot. In women, it's the opposite - fear and sexuality can work, violence and sexuality can't. Do with that what you will, I guess.

>I'm feeling generally insecure about my body which is a can of worms I actually haven't dealt with
That will weigh you down the more you wait - and confronting it might liberate and round out your personality in more ways than you expect.

>From what you're saying it sound like you've been struggling yourself for a long time, well it might just be the case that your framework is just not doing you any good? "If the rule you followed, brought you to this, then of what use was the rule?"
Every time I did apply it, both through action and deep awareness of those patterns, things worked out for me. And everything made sense. The problem is that I increasingly intellectualize it in a detached manner, because I've buried much of the courage, wonder, and willpower that constellated when this first hit me on the head, all from deeply falling in love - but then I insecurely avoided the girl in question and turned back inward. The more I hid, the more this inner source wonder and wisdom - aided by an immense corpus of incredible writing - grew against me.

Still, I'm trying to reconnect with the person I fell in love with, and I'm shocked at the extent to which that brings back much of that lost energy, optimism, discipline etc.

[Anonymous No.6514340]

>>6514295
>Do with that what you will, I guess.
I think that's essentialist bullshit

[Anonymous No.6514411]

>>6514340
I cannot for the life of me find the source I first read this, but it was an evolutionary argument and it went like:
>on average, males would have been in more situations where violently overcoming opposition (whether that of a woman or her partner) would have been in advantageous in creating offspring
>therefore, there would be selective pressure for violence and sexuality to intermingle more naturally in men
>this doesn't mean that violent psychopathic rape is a trait that's necessarily advantageous, and in fact becomes disadvantageous as societies become larger and closer-knit. but some underlying opportunistic association still exists
>in turn, females would more often be in situations where sex is frightening and non-consensual, because they're physically vulnerable
>the ones that endured in fear (instead of resisting or perhaps even committing suicide afterwards) would in turn survive more often, bearing more offspring
>gradually, some associative compatibility between fear and sex is formed, for the sake of the woman and her offspring's survival
This might get also confused with the argument of why women are attracted to a certain level of frightening danger and aggression in men - the idea being that they want a partner who's capable of defending them against other, more dangerous men.

[Anonymous No.6514419]

>>6514411
>Evolutionary argument
Evolutionary psychology is dumb and you can't draw "ough to" conclusions from evolution

[Anonymous No.6514437]

>>6514419
Ok responding to a long post this way is even dumber, ill elaborate
Evolutionary psychology is mostly just posthoc justification for existing societal norms (aka flinstonization) and also is paradoxical as it forgets that evolution doesn't just stop in modern day and the human species and society are still evolving and have the potential to evolve
The truth is, we know very little to nothing about the culture of our homo sapien ancestors. Our closest ape bros (the bonobos, chimps) are poral opposites of eachother (matriarchy and patriarchy), the remaining native tribes on earth have widly different cultures and gender norms. Hunting isn't impossible for women to perform, we use tools and persistence hunting. And nets, instead of catching fish could have been invented to let women stay autonomous while carrying children around. Really, I don't give half a thought to evolutionary theories except when I laugh at alt-right "intellectual" thinkinp up of ridiculous evolutionary theories on the spot.
And even if all evolutionary theories are true, this doesn't stop some guys literally castrating themselves as a fetish, I hope you're not sexist enough to think women can't also be eccentric and defy "evolutionary incentives"

[Anonymous No.6514472]

>>6514419
That's why I'm trying to find the source, as then there would be observable statistics, neurology, psychometrics, etc. If it was true, we'd also measure and observe it in certain animals, which could further the evolutionary argument. Still, in the evolutionary case for both genders, that would depend on what proportion of sex was non-consensual over the span of millions of years, which we can't know.

But imagine if the exact opposite were somehow true, or there was absolutely no gender difference - I don't think either of those would make much sense. Especially given that men are statistically more prone to aggression (testosterone, etc.) and women to neuroticism (vulnerable protective fear). Both of those were clearly advantageous in various situations, but the extent to which sex *per se* was one of them... we'll see if I can find it.

[Anonymous No.6514536]

>>6514437
>the human species and society are still evolving and have the potential to evolve
Sure, the question is over what timespan - much of the ways we function in modern society clearly doesn't jive with some earlier layers of our brains, and we don't know to what extent we could (or should) get used to it.

And obviously, most populations have changed since the last ice age - lactose tolerance, varying nutritional sources, new phenotypes, admixture with archaic human species, etc. Much of this clearly wasn't trivial.

But I don't think you can throw the baby out with the bathwater when it comes to looking for precedent in other species - sometimes this concerns mechanisms (like neurotransmitters) which function near-identically. But obviously, we can't draw direct animal parallels when it concerns our most unique features - such as society and language.

But I think remaining hunter-gatherer societies are best place to observe our most "natural" state, many aspects of which may even be considered "optimal" for mental and physical well-being, such as a population of around 150 people (Dunbar's number). Then again, what about the fact that most hunter-gatherer societies were/are matrilineal (not the same as matriarchal)? Is that optimal just for them or for everyone, and why? It gets weird and fuzzy since we're also incredibly adaptable.

>I hope you're not sexist enough to think women can't also be eccentric and defy "evolutionary incentives"
No, we're obviously carrying an organ which can override its' own programming in indescribably sophisticated ways, and it's had countless bizarre opportunities to do so as consciousness emerged over hundreds of thousands of years. So those bizarre circumstances have in turn uniquely shaped us. But while we're not deterministic animals, we still have to give the powerful underlying machinery its' due - that's not as simple as finding a precedent in something like biomechanics, but it's not all posthoc justification either.

[Anonymous No.6514547]

>>6513740
>had an older sister
Why the past tense?