Sample pages advice!

[Anonymous No.4088574]

Been practicing like crazy, filled two sketchbooks in 2 months, cut off friends and family, and finished a full comic, and got a sample script from a DC editor to practice on and wanted to get some feedback from you guys on my pages
Let me know what you hate about it. I'll never get better with compliments

[Anonymous No.4088578]

>>4088574

[Anonymous No.4088581]

>>4088578

[Anonymous No.4088585]

>>4088581
and thats it, what do you think?

[Anonymous No.4088621]

it's ok, now finish them.

[Anonymous No.4088640]

>>4088574
slightly shit, go fill 6 more sketchbooks for 6 months, and come show us some new sample pages

[Anonymous No.4088641]

>>4088574
Your pencils are too clean, and too stiff. Not a lot of life in these drawings, and your panel layouts are a bit hard to follow. Don’t get too fancy with shit, and remember clarity is key

[Anonymous No.4088649]

>>4088621
what do you mean? These are pencils for a portfolio. Sorry I should have been clearer,these are for a comic book penciling portfolio

[Anonymous No.4088651]

>>4088640
no worries, can you go over a little detail why you think they're shit?

[Anonymous No.4088653]

>>4088641
funny enough the marvel editor told me to tighten my pencils. could you elaborate more on what you mean by too stiff pencils?

[Anonymous No.4088655]

>>4088585
I like what you did here, but your rope physics seem a bit off. I'm one of those ngmi's, but to me it seems like the length of the rope and how it twisted around the gold statue superman(?) seem way to loose for damian to have gotten that far. Other wise it looks pretty good. Your robin kicks seem a bit awkward, so maybe study that a bit.

[Anonymous No.4088657]

>>4088585
I don't know if that's just specifically the character your using, but your final panel character with the helmet has his hands way to big. I haven't seen DC so maybe that's just how it is, but the hands aren't normally that big when compared to the relative size of the head.

[Anonymous No.4088673]

>>4088655
Thanks, Ill for sure focus on this, maybe do some more studies on figures in movement

[Anonymous No.4088674]

>>4088657
nope, that's just a mess up on my part i didn't catch, thank you and I should hopefully correct it soon

[Anonymous No.4088759]

>>4088581
Damian's hand has a consistency error with how sharp his fingers are

>>4088585
Minor thing here that isn't usually important, but how the statue steps off seems strange. You had the left foot forward and then had him step off with the left foot. Also I' a bit confused as to what Damian actually swings to. Is there a maintenance door behind the statue's pedestal? And the kicked I door frame should stand up more straight considering less than a second ago Damian was on the ground. If anything he should have his foot planted on the ground and be kicking outward unless you cutout the middle man and just have him swinging towards a door.

[Anonymous No.4088816]

>>4088759
got ya, ill try to be more aware of that for sure. I didnt focus to much on them since it was so small, but the fact that you caught it shows it needed to be focused on more.

sorry, i don't really understand what you meant with the door kicing though.

[Anonymous No.4088837]

>>4088585
>>4088816
I just mean that the fingers switch back and forth a bit, and its best to keep it the same. Like how in this page >>4088585 it switches between pointy and rounded off

How the door seems to open when compared to the direction he's kicking is what is throwing me off. Unless that's supposed to be an open door, I'm assuming you had him kick it open so that he could get inside which should have it crashing against the helmet guy instead of just leaving it basically broken off the frame.

Going back to the kicking part, I mean your kicking pose is a dynamic entrance that needs prior momentum, like his swinging. You'll notice that most poses similar to that pose in comics has the character either going downwards from high above, sprinting in at full force, or some kind of tether they use to swing it.

Imagine the scene as is, Damian's swung back own and he's about a foot away from the closed door. It would be cleaner to have him in a continued sprinting position, busting down the door like that and then arresting the puppet meister.

I hope I explained it better.

[Anonymous No.4088839]

>>4088837
own= down
sorry

[Anonymous No.4088841]

>>4088837
that explains it very clearly thank you for taking the time to explain!

[Anonymous No.4088842]

>>4088653
He probably means that you should aim for left one when your editor says you should avoid right. They don't necessarily contradict each other.

[Anonymous No.4088848]

ok so, its GOOD but what i dont like about it personally, first of all i see a lot of proportion x perspective problems. its easy to get things anatomically correct front on but action sequences, especially exaggerated comic poses, need to be on point with this. Its a big part of how the feel and movement etc etc is translated to the reader. Another thing, it looks like fucking ben 10. Now if thats what youre going for go for it dude, otherwise do some face anatomy structure, you can be cartoony while not being a nickelodeon ripoff. Personally i would suggest studying some takehiko inoue, make your face structure more interesting.

[Anonymous No.4088854]

>>4088848
oh also, i agree with the editor. Your work needs to be worked over as well. Switch to F Pencils. personally i find a mix between 2 B, 2 H, and F to be all that i need for all pencil drawing

[Anonymous No.4088866]

>>4088842
is my linework really coming off as scratchy as this right one? what might be a good way to correct it?

[Anonymous No.4088867]

>>4088574
the pose is unnatural and unclear: is he moving or standing? it seems like he's walking but the cape is too stiff.
what is he doing in panel 4?
it's the first page, you should draw some bg to set the scene.

[Anonymous No.4088868]

>>4088848
this makes a lot of sense, could you maybe point to some specific parts you might be referencing in regards to the problem?

also yea, I like my animation, Lite, style. I'm a big fan of artists like Amanda Conner and I think that maybe where I'm getting it. also thanks for the recommendation, I've bookmarked the search for Inoue. I look forward to studying him!

[Anonymous No.4088872]

>>4088867
fair on the pose, i didnt just want him sitting there. Funny the script asked for the bg to be a bit unclear. I was hoping to follow that.

what would you have recommended instead?

[Anonymous No.4088873]

>>4088578
Superkid too small to see his reaction. you can add another panel with a close up, if you don't want to change the shot.
In all the pages is not clear that that's a superman statue, you should draw a pose where the symbol is more clear.
the background doesn't look real, use more reference.
I should see this inked, I don't understand where you will put the blacks, also the blacks you put on robin may not look good (overlapping).

[Anonymous No.4088875]

>>4088581
As I said, bg too simple and unreal. Was he leaning on a cardboard? Real bins aren't just simple cylinders placed at random.

[Anonymous No.4088877]

>>4088585
Worst page, honestly. panel one has a completely made up bg, there aren't even correct vanishing points, use reference.
It's not clear where the door in panel 3 is? if it's at the base of the pedestal you should draw it also in panel 2, or make more clear that robin is landing there.
I don't understand how it will turn out inked, you're drawing different shapes, but inking them with solid black they will merge together (overlapping).

[Anonymous No.4088881]

>>4088873
>>4088875

funny enough i actually did use reference and a 3d model.lol Thats just a weird building I guess, it's some rando building in Chicago with thosethin plats in the front, but seeing as it caused confusion i shouldn't have used it. also good catch on the superman, I didnt establish it well, i agree. How did you realize it was a superman statue? I think you would be happy with the black areas, I worked really hard on the compostion of my B&Ws but everything else sounds spot on. Thank you.

[Anonymous No.4088882]

>>4088877
well technically all my Bg are made, up I drew em
lol
bad jokes aside


i see what you mean. funny enough those VPs are correct since they are from a 3d model. is what you're seeing maybe cause some of those buildings have cornered points. those building arent just 4 sided boxes I guess I'm trying to say.

[Anonymous No.4088884]

>>4088877
in regards to the shapes i can see that. I leave it up to the inker to decide if they would want to fill it in or not. But this is a fair point. Not exactly sure what i can doto fix that this since i like giving the inker more options, but i do thank you for pointing it out.

[Anonymous No.4088975]

>>4088872
Ok, but there are two problems:
First, with a full figure shot either you make something graphical ( the f.figure overlaps other panels) or you put some simple bg. It looks like there is a lot of unused space. With close up it's ok to use simple background because we are used to movies, and usually the bg is out of focus for those shots, but in other cases it may look strange.
Second, a bg, even a simple one, makes things clearer: if we draw a character and in the next page this same character is too small, it may be harder for the reader to recognize him, but if you put something in the bg to make it clear that it's the same place, it's easy for the reader connect the dots.

Anyway, I made a quick shitty layout of how I would do it.
Superboy he's saying "I'm back" so I made him landing in the first panel.
Panel 1-2-3-4 have the same camera. 5 is a slightly low angle shot+zoom.

[Anonymous No.4088978]

>>4088585
Why is a 13 year old boy balding? Fix is hair.

[Anonymous No.4089007]

>>4088585
>>4088581
>>4088578
>>4088574
Your main problem is you're drawing cape trash

[Anonymous No.4089329]

DUDE this is shit. You posted here before when you were doing the layouts for these. You’re like 35 you said. These are a fucking joke. If you really did all the stuff you said, you won’t even come close to professional level before you’re dead(pic related, THIS is an AVERAGE comic artist) OP is a joke.

[Anonymous No.4089398]

>>4089329
If OP's "shit" then I'm going to be a ngmi. This truly horrifies me
signed,
yours horrified beg starting at 25.

[Anonymous No.4089454]

>>4089329
Bullshit bait.
The pic you posted is not "average" now a days average is this shitty tumbleresque web comic style. For example the "Heart stopper" ( a comic about gay men written by a straight woman) it's a major success and has sold thousands of physical copes all around the world. You don't fucking need talent to win the god damn game anymore. Just add a LGBT character and even beg tier shit will sell.
I want to die

[Anonymous No.4089471]

>>4089454
Don't get down in the dumps, the now ideologically infected mainstream comic industry is not the only way to make it anymore

[Anonymous No.4089792]

>>4088975
I like what this anon says.

Personally i think the important action in the page should get the biggest panel, and that way the reader keeps interested to see what happens next, having the reader to go the next page should always be your main priority, the drawing quality comes second, or even third.

Anyways here's my take, keep in mind i read mostly jap's stuff.

[Anonymous No.4089953]

>>4089329
FULL OF SHIT
That isn't what an average comic looks like, that's a pinnacle comic, OP's doing great.

[Anonymous No.4089965]

>>4089953
>>4089471
That anon may be a retard but unless you're a woke tumblrina who can play the oppression card this is what is expected of you. Literally who mexicans who draw amazing capeshit are dime a dozen, if OP wants to make it on skill alone and even hope to work in the big two he needs to stand out.
It used to be that comic artists could get published with shaky art, many good comics looked like amateur shit and sold on ideas alone, that's not the case anymore, everything is ultra saturated.

[Anonymous No.4089975]

>>4089329
>Average

lmao wtf you smoking, i want some of that too

[Anonymous No.4090178]

>>4089398
>>4089953
>>4089965
>>4089975


Youre all blind idiots, that Heart Stopper is not the norm.

<== this is

this isnt even a top tier book, just ome rando book at DC.

If you think OP has even a small chance of getting here youre fucking on crack, ALL OF YOU!

[Anonymous No.4090195]

>>4090178
Lissin man jus cos I like me some candy don't mean my man OP won't be successful, maybe not at DC but at least at lending me some money

[Anonymous No.4090247]

>>4090178
>Jorge Jimenez
>Random

[Anonymous No.4090321]

>>4090178
>>>What is different stylized comics.
Go back to beg anon, its obvious you still have so much to learn.

His style's pretty average, and it'd be easier to judge fully inked, but at the every least I can tell that people would buy his comics after he finished fixing his errors.

PYW if you're so good.

[Anonymous No.4090346]

>>4088866
I think your figures are too stiff, honestly.

[Anonymous No.4090619]

>>4088866
lots of timed gesture drawings
acceptance of imperfections

[Anonymous No.4091326]

>>4088574
>>4088574
First of all your style is fine. Your storytelling is problematic. Your first page is confusing, the panel layout is unclear, I have no idea where we are, a movie theater, at home, etc. We get it in the second page but its jarring and the impact of the big giant guy is less effective, also the position of Robin is unlcear I didn
t notice him at first. Use leading lines, value overlap etc. to clarify this. You may have to change camera angle etc... its a good start but the VS is weak, keep at it.

[Anonymous No.4091340]

>>4088581
Just a 2c in regards to continuity in this particular page, in one panel Robins being grabbed and squeezed, I imagine it hurts a lot, and then right below he's a happy chappy throwing his rope around. He should be confused as to why he's free, or at least alleviated in a Robinesque way that Superboys finally doin some shit.
Arts nice though, especially in this day and age of comics. Definite prospects if you continue to work hard!

[Anonymous No.4091949]

>>4089329
i love how this crap is presented as some benchmark of skill, isnt this made by that braindead trendhopping asian? copying one artist in hopes of being epic only gets you so far, also funny how he is stupid enough to already get carpal tunnel

[Anonymous No.4091952]

>>4088574
bland, uninteresting, and NOT FUN. why the hell would i want to read something that isnt fun?

[Anonymous No.4092403]

>>4091952
plan to explain how to make something "unbland" "interesting" and "fun" those are pretty subjective criticism for OP

[Anonymous No.4092751]

>>4092403
i can bet that anyone who he shows it to sans his mother is going to say, if in full honesty, that there is absolutely 0 substance or interest on the pages presented. the style is a mediocre play on capeshit with no originality or fun, it looks like a sweatshop worker drew it... not all people know how to have fun

[Anonymous No.4092753]

>>4092751
he asked you how to make something unbland, not to make up some nonsense "criticism". he posted the script, make something better than what op did.

[Anonymous No.4092789]

>>4092751
Are...are you actually this stupid? You missed the entire point of the post you replied to. Heck even I can see you're being a bit of a douche.
>>4088574
The styles good enough to do basic capeshit the panels needs some work, as the panelling seems too unorganized. The consistency of the statues size seems to vary from frame to frame

[Anonymous No.4092798]

>>4088574
>>4088649
You are still green for trying to get publisher. I only showed my work when it had an obvious professional level so they couldnt easily dismiss me.
But you are on the right path, it's a matter of filling more sketchbooks.
>cut off friends and family
no need to be that drastic