COMIC CRITIQUE thread

[Anonymous No.3840660]

COMIC CRITIQUE thread

I haven't find a thread like this and as I have been trying to practice comic pages lately I thought that would be usefull to everybody to share their issues and exprerience with drawing comics.

Please be nice and give constructive critique to others and fell free to post your own pages and concerns and tips.

[Anonymous No.3840665]

>>3840660
I think I have trouble doing artline and it looks too heave sometimes or looks like theres is someting missing. If I try to add shadows it look worse and I kinda didn't use gray shadows.

I'm doing this short comic as a way to practice so it have a simple plot that can help me practicing and trying with simple BG and body/face expressions and maybe some action.

[Anonymous No.3840712]

Question, when you guys do your comic pages, what size do you use for your canvas? Do you follow the A4 bleed/trim/etc?

pic related is my attempt to make a guide for myself because my netbook won't run anything aside paint tool sai. I plan to underlayer this. Does it look OK/right?

[Anonymous No.3840761]

>>3840712
Yea that looks right to me.

[Anonymous No.3841590]

>>3840665
Man, wtf is with every comic and artists nowadays fascination with pentgrams, candles and summoning shit, its everywhere.

[Anonymous No.3841621]

>>3841590
Jews, illuminati programming, etc.

[Anonymous No.3841683]

>>3841590
Summoning stuff/demon thing gone wrong is an easy way to get your audience-insert protagonist into a fantasy world so a lot of comic artists use it.
>>3841621
cringe and /pol/pilled

[Anonymous No.3841768]

>>3841590
Selection bias.

[Anonymous No.3841818]

>>3841590
what's with superheroes? what's with """alien""" races which look basically like people with some makeup on their faces? what's with "elves" which are basically people with long ears? what's with nondescript "evil deemuns"? what's with medieval fantasy? what's with highschool settings?
take a guess

[Anonymous No.3841911]

>>3841590
If you can read I said I know it is a cliche plot and that is the idea since I don't care about the plot and just want something that can give me a open range of options of scenaries and creatures to practice if I want to keep it in future.

Anyway I asked for advice on the art, not about the plot. I have trouble with lineart on digital and I think it dont look good, maybe too stiff?

[Anonymous No.3842130]

>>3841683
I don't get it.

[Anonymous No.3843663]

[Anonymous No.3843677]

>>3843663
These faces are top-notch. Backgrounds seem a little empty tho

[Anonymous No.3843688]

>>3843677
>>3843663
Agree with poster above, you only need to populate the long shots with more props, empy shacks like that look strange, get yourself some Witcher 3 screenshots of house interiors and draw from that, top notch cartooning tho keep it up anon

wholesome/10

[Anonymous No.3843720]

>>3843663
Is that the italian guy from atlantis?

[Anonymous No.3844008]

>>3843663
Isn’t this from Bone? Reminds me very much of Bone.

[Gus No.3845305]

I really fragged up the scaling of the first panel background, but otherwise, i think I'm learning a lot. Decent improvement for 6 months of work.

[Gus No.3845306]

>>3845305

[Anonymous No.3846341]

>>3845305
In panel 2 I think a shadow under the dark glowy eyes guy would help keep the character look grounded.

>>3845306
My suggestions for this page are to complete the "circle" border of the first panel since it seems a little off to have it break right there with the guy's right foot. Related to that, I would suggest bringing the bald guy's shoulder pad thing to the foreground so it doesn't look like the guy in panel 1 is in front of it. The last thing that I note is the word balloon placements. I like what you're trying to do here but I think the balloons could be better positioned to guide the reader's path. So for example you could move the "before the applause" balloon a bit more to the left and the "sink into hell" balloon a little more down and switch the balloon tail so it follows the path from the previous word balloon a little more closely.

[Anonymous No.3846624]

this is my first and last time making a comic

[Anonymous No.3846654]

this is my first and last time making a comic

[Anonymous No.3846796]

>>3840660
Thank you for allowing me to post this here. 1/2

[Anonymous No.3846797]

>>3840660
Thank you for allowing me to post the second half of this. 2/2

[Anonymous No.3846804]

>>3846796
>>3846797
garbage

[Anonymous No.3846925]

Are there any good books about writing comics? I'm interested in shit like planning, page layout, pacing. I already have Eisner's "Theory of comics and sequential art".

[Anonymous No.3846962]

>>3846796
>>3846797
>allowing
if we could stop you we would

[Anonymous No.3846990]

>>3846925
There are no books on comics that teach you anything remotely useful. None.

http://antonyjohnston.com/forwriters/scriveningcomics.php

Get scrivener. Read Antony johnstons blog and youll learn more than any vurrent comic teaching books. He deatils how he writes, breaks down into pages and then writes each page panel by panel using scrivener templates.

You wont learn this in any book. Look for sample scripts. Anaylze how they broke down the story. Find summaries of old issues and script them yourself. Gind the actual issue and see how it looked in print and compare to yours. Try scripting a movie or tv show for comics. Old stories like sherlock holmes, wizard of oz, etc. You dont have to write these and can focus on conveying entire scenes to comic format. Set a page or issue count. Make it fit 4 issues and then 6 and then 12. Force yourself to compress or expand a story in this manner.

If your goal is for mainstream comics, write for trade with 5 to 6 issues for any story.

No book teaches this. You have to practice and force yourself to learn the medium. Writing is the same for everything. Adapting to the medium is just a matter of practice.

[Anonymous No.3846992]

>>3846925
yes, check the artbook thread in the archive, it'll be gone soon.
4chan.org/ic/thread/3824363/artbook-thread#p3827166

[Anonymous No.3847009]

[Anonymous No.3847014]

>>3840660
u keep switching the angle from where the water wench is coming from, its making it read jankier

[Anonymous No.3847242]

WIP. Aiming to finish this tonight after a bit of rest, but I wanted some critiques and suggestions on how to improve it before I start going heavy with the linework.

[Anonymous No.3847269]

>>3847242
change the script

[Anonymous No.3847427]

>>3846654
>>3846624
cute

[Anonymous No.3847429]

>>3847242
I’m liking this. Can’t wait to see what’s next.

[Anonymous No.3847430]

>>3846624
You should continue to do more despair comics RK.

[Anonymous No.3847432]

I know this is autistic but are there any guides out there for making pornographic comics? I know that the basic rules for comics in general all apply but I still feel like There's something missing in my understanding.

[Anonymous No.3847465]

>>3847242
I think consistent text size would be good since that's one way someone might interpret how loud the characters are talking. Also the guy's expression in the third panel could be more expressive. Judging from the next panel he doesn't seem too into the situation so maybe you can preemptively set that up by having him look more wary or averse. I don't know enough context here so take that with a grain of salt.

[Anonymous No.3847489]

>>3847432
Not much different from regular comics desu. All you really need is decent drawing skills since people just want to nut, you don’t really have to be good at writing, paneling, composition or anything else. A good way to learn would be to learn some of the absolute basics of making comics and then to just study porn comics that you like to see how those artists do things. (I.E. do they slowly build up to the more graphic scenes or start off with them? Do they do lots of splashes or none at all? How do they manipulate time through panel count? How do they balance the amount of text and dialogue with the visuals? Etc.) Maybe try making a page or two as practice and then a bunch of questions will naturally pop into your head whenever you have trouble with something. Then just go look at a well executed comic and ask yourself how that artist solves whatever problem you’re facing. I don’t think there’s any books/tutorials that actually layout how to make a porn comic specifically although it shouldn’t be that different from making any comic really.

[Anonymous No.3847658]

[Anonymous No.3847701]

i thought you were done with lewds.

[Anonymous No.3847704]

>>3847701
One pager.

After that and the Sami render, lewds will either be taxed, be put on indefinite hiatus, discontinued entirely.

[Anonymous No.3847710]

>>3847701
One pager.

After that and the Sami render, lewds will either be taxed, be put on indefinite hiatus, or discontinued entirely.

[Anonymous No.3848956]

>>3846925
Scott McCloud's Understanding Comics and Making Comics are great for this. For me, Understanding gave me a good enough understanding of the medium to make my own shit but Making is more concerned with how to make your own so check that out as well.

[Anonymous No.3848995]

>>3847489
>you don’t really have to be good at writing, paneling, composition or anything else

This is bad advice, the best porn is always well staged and has good pacing. Good expressionwork, lighting and paneling can really make a porn comic hotter than when it's just a collection of sex positions

[Anonymous No.3850119]

>>3846925
>>3846990
>No book teaches this.
This is interesting because Warren Ellis brought up the apparent scarcity of genuine comic resources since the webcomic boom of the 00s in his most recent newsletter. Literally all of the comic resources you'll probably read today will tell you it's like writing a screenplay in sequential form. The only difference is that comic scripts tend to be much looser in structure and for obvious reasons I think. In the western comic book industry, writing, penciling, inking, coloring *and* lettering comics are often separate jobs on a given project in order to maintain efficiency. Artists who don't have that luxury have to do it all themselves; some actually prefer it that way, even. I think studying storyboards will certainly help, especially wrt to framing a scene. I thought this book had a lot of interesting comic scriptwriting examples from different writers working in the industry at the turn of the millennium: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0971633800/

[Anonymous No.3850181]

>>3847009
hahaha what is this in reference to? freelancing?

[Anonymous No.3852216]

just sharing this free software
https://wonderunit.com/storyboarder

>Storyboarder makes it easy to visualize a story as fast you can draw stick figures. Quickly draw to test if a story idea works. Create and show animatics to others. Express your story idea without making a movie.

[Anonymous No.3853075]

>>3847658
typesetting could really use some work, I hope that was on the list

[Anonymous No.3853117]

>>3847658
Bugs me how the speech balloons don't point to her.

[Anonymous No.3853128]

>>3852216
Pretty cool, I like it.

[Anonymous No.3853136]

>>3840660
Is there a discord or group of independent comic creators anywhere here? Would like to be among people who want to be comic creators.

[Anonymous No.3853146]

>>3853136
seconding

[Anonymous No.3853148]

>>3853136>>3853146
I read at >>>/co/106384060 https://boards.4channel.org/co/thread/106453043/ that there's a number of discords for web comic creators but it seems there's a couple of big ones that are invite only or something like that.
I think you can find some on google searching for:
site:discord.me comics
site:discord.me web comics

[Anonymous No.3853188]

>>3853148

Joined one called comic fridge, seems okay.
Thanks anon

[Anonymous No.3853254]

>>3843663
the last two panels from page 4 are a bit weird. you're ending a page with the start of a new scene

[Anonymous No.3853296]

>>3846796
>>3846797
looks kinda interesting but i cant see wtf is going on...

[Anonymous No.3853653]

>>3843663
you're missing the opportunity to have the seal ring make a mark on the ruffian's face

[Anonymous No.3853654]

>>3846990
learn french you scrubs

[Anonymous No.3853940]

>>3846990
>>3846925

>There are no books on comics that teach you anything remotely useful. None.

What the
It's like Scot McCloud never existed

[Anonymous No.3853944]

>>3847009
this is good shit anon, please provide me more.

[Anonymous No.3853951]

I've been working on my comic for so long that my art style has changed from the beginning to towards where I am now

[Anonymous No.3853957]

>>3853951

[Anonymous No.3853965]

>>3853957
>>3853951

[Anonymous No.3853967]

>>3853951
>>3853957
>>3853965

[Anonymous No.3854043]

>>3853951
>>3853957
>>3853965
>>3853967
the fuck is going on in your comic. Do you have a blog?

[Anonymous No.3854054]

>>3853965
>>3853957
>>3853951
>>3853967
i think you have interesting ideas but your current skill level can't keep up

[Anonymous No.3854134]

>>3850119
Out of all words you typed in your fairly extensive comment, why did you pick "wrt" to abbr?

[Anonymous No.3854190]

>>3854054
he is working very slowly, but I'm seeing improvements in his art. In a decade, he'll have finished chapter 1, and his skill level will have kept up.

[Anonymous No.3854201]

>Feel comfortable with style
>Want to start making a comic now
>Can't write for shit
>No ideas

They didn't say this was gonna be the hard part

[Anonymous No.3856113]

>>3840660
https://discord.gg/rmYhJzs

[Anonymous No.3856700]

Manga Discord server, needs more users

https://discord.gg/XqAT8kh

[Anonymous No.3857237]

Inking a personal project.

[Anonymous No.3857238]

>>3857237
More.

[Anonymous No.3857541]

>>3853940
scott mccloud is a mess if you actually want solid theory
I'll just prompt you to look at the feeble bibliography he provides, it's shameful for someone who presents himself as having tried to establish a global method to understand comics. I liked his books as stimulants, but it's not something you want to learn from, it's something you want to experiment from and make your own conclusions.

[Anonymous No.3857555]

>>3841590
People who were children during the satanic moral panics from 80s/90s are now producing media

[Hardstones McFlintcock !!HyUHIeKB6fW No.3857884]

Critiques? Anything to fix up?

[Anonymous No.3857928]

>>3857884
Your typography and balloon work is making everything look amateurish.

[Anonymous No.3857962]

>>3857541
I would say, his books are invaluable in so far you read them with a broader sense in mind. you'll learn about the possibilities of comics. but I agree that his books are almost impossible to looking up a specific topic.
still he's done a great job, even if it's just him establishing, that comics are a valid art form.

[Hardstones McFlintcock !!HyUHIeKB6fW No.3858103]

>>3857928
Specifics?

[Anonymous No.3858107]

>>3857884
why does she say it's a rhetorical question when he didn't even say anything? also i assume they're off air because the light isn't on?

[Hardstones McFlintcock !!HyUHIeKB6fW No.3858140]

>>3858107
>rhetorical question

"Any last words before you depart?"

>off air

"Hmm...as much as I'd like to keep you on air..."

[Anonymous No.3858148]

>>3858140
I don't get it.

[Anonymous No.3858161]

You need to taper the end of the bubble arrow on the first panel.
You need to keep the fonts and their size consistent unless they're different (ex: sound effects, non-dialougues, etc)
You need to put the words in the center of the bubble.
It looks like planning the bubbles (height, width, look) is the least thing you do when planning how the page looks like, because it looks the least done with effort and on some panels, the bubble isn't even given enough space to accommodate the dialogue without making it look shitty.

Those are whats on top of my head, as of the moment

[Anonymous No.3858163]

>>3857884
In the bottom panel I couldn't read that that was her back facing the reader and had a hard time understanding her pose until I scrolled to earlier wips. Looks cool so far tho

[Anonymous No.3858167]

>>3858140
>rhetorical question
you typically say "it was a rhetorical question" when someone responds to a rhetorical question seriously, which he didn't. but even then, her question isn't even rhetorical at all?? like, you're being interviewed on a radio show, you're /supposed/ to answer questions.

>off air
there was no indication of her signing off or turning the equipment off. so i assumed they were still on air and the listeners would hear whatever raunchy stuff was happening (which is more interesting and i thought was the "punch line" of the page)

your art is good man, just keep working on the general flow/choice of moments and dialogue.

[Hardstones McFlintcock !!HyUHIeKB6fW No.3858229]

>>3858167
>typically

Nonverbal response. She's easing the tension with "Rhetorical question, babe. Don't worry, and just relax and let me take care of you". He's unnerved by her intent in the third panel, despite her attempts.

As for the final panel, I'll include an alt where the "ON AIR" sign is on for the sake of the joke. I'll ask the commissioner if she wants to write some phoned-in responses from listeners.

[Anonymous No.3858386]

>>3858229
space between lines is too narrow
go read some doujins for reference

[Anonymous No.3859597]

Wroking on this again.
I think the last panel is weak, it should be warped into fish eye with the hands right in the foreground or something, but I wanted to show the hood a bit.

[Anonymous No.3859631]

>>3846925
>about writing comics
I'm horrible and slow at writing, but I think the snowflake method is the most useful for comics. Once you branch up to the individual scenes, you just draw them as layouts.

[Anonymous No.3859914]

>>3859597
Finished the inks. Not sure if I'll keep working on it since it's just a random page.

[Anonymous No.3859935]

>>3859914
there's no volume on the face it looks like an engraving on the chair surface. Also happens with the torso.
The rest seems ok.

[Anonymous No.3859944]

>>3859935
yeah warping that panel was a bad idea. And I still don't like it. I should have redrawn it completely.

[Anonymous No.3860110]

>>3859935
>>3859944
In the end I caved in and redrew that panel. Hope it's better.

[Anonymous No.3861016]

>>3860110
Colors. Attempted to keep the blurred lines on the last panel but it just didn't work. Pretty much a failed experiment.

[Anonymous No.3861031]

>>3860110
Colors. Attempted to keep the blurred lines on the last panel but it just didn't work. Pretty much a failed experiment.

[Anonymous No.3861227]

Not sure if this is the right place to ask. More of a weird screen writing question I guess.
I'm writing out my comic and I want to have characters vocalize emotions, interjections, like a character going 'Hmm' or 'Ugh". But I'm often kind of dumbfound about how to write them out correctly. For example I have a character that's forcing himself to read a book, but he doesn't know how to read, so after trying and failing he closes his eyes and pulls his head back and I want him to vocalize something like a long, frustrated and upset "Ngghhhhaaa!" but when I write it out like that it feels weird and it doesn't look like the emotion I'm picturing.
Is there a comprehensive reference of these kinds of vocalizations anywhere. Google came up with a few examples, but they're too basic
https://www.macmillandictionary.com/thesaurus-category/british/written-representations-of-sounds
http://m.writtensound.com/
https://www.vidarholen.net/contents/interjections/
Also, what's the correct way of showing a character sighing?

[Anonymous No.3861263]

>>3840660
hey guys, does anyone know of an script i can use?
I want to practice my figure drawing/perspective

[Anonymous No.3861944]

>>3861263
I was thinking about doing this, too. I looked this up: https://i.imgur.com/JSrQaxc.png
Should help a bit.

[Anonymous No.3861949]

>>3841590
Shin Megami Tensei does it right, I wish more manga caught on that kind of setting/aesthetics. I might do a manga about using cell phones to summon demons.

[Anonymous No.3861953]

>>3861227
Without an onomatopoeia, I'd say the proper facial expression combined with a little puff of air from the mouth/nostrils.

[Anonymous No.3861959]

>>3841818
>take a guess
They appeal to faggot kids.

[Anonymous No.3862626]

>>3861959
>>3841818
>They appeal to normies
Fixed.

[Anonymous No.3864000]

>>3860110
Good job, you fixed it completely. It's great now with that 3/4s view!
>>3861031
The colors are good, although the values seem a bit too similar ( i always fail in this matter too), putting some highlights with shines could help.
His seat and maybe ship interiors could be blue so the character pops out. The way it is with both ship interior and character being orangy he kinda blends in. With blue and orange being complementary colors he'd pop out. This works really great on the first panel with the blue ship against that orange sand.
The colored 'Foom' looks good.

[Anonymous No.3864015]

>>3864000
I confess I am terrible at color because I do almost everything in just ink. Making the ship all blue would be a good idea, maybe I should keep one color for each object instead of giving a split palette to everything.

[Anonymous No.3864189]

>>3864015
Take a look at this dude's coloring, i think it fits your style of drawing, maybe it interests you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VPq-kSRge0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnzYkI6w-sg

[Anonymous No.3864191]

>>3864189
Thanks, I'll check it out.

[Anonymous No.3864724]

One of my latest page i’ve done

[containercore !o3a0NktvbA No.3864750]

>>3840665
Not the reading line you intended but because you overlapped the guy in the last panel with the first panel you made me skip the candle bit, then you bled the magic circle off the page in the opposite direction of the reading direction (left to right). Also think the last of the 3 candle panels is redundant.

[containercore !o3a0NktvbA No.3864752]

>>3843663
Very nice.