How many of you from /ic/ are entering?

[Anonymous No.3168581]

Deadline is just over 2 months away. Maybe we can give each other constructive criticism on our submissions to maximize our chances of winning.

[Anonymous No.3168698]

>>3168581
I'm just writing plot for my shonen sci-fi manga right now, probably won't make it in time, maybe next year.

Can someone explain to me why Team PIZA got so many vote? i don't think their manga are that good really, are they cheat or something?

[Anonymous No.3168720]

>>3168698
I have no fucking idea either. It was a boring read. I'm really baffled by the amount of votes they got.

[Anonymous No.3168722]

>>3168581
maybe in 3 years...or 5

[Anonymous No.3168727]

>>3168698
The site itself hosts various manga that you can buy/sell, and has its own community, so it's probably gotta do with that.

I'm not worried about it. It's Kishimoto's vote and the SJ editors that matter.

Anyway, posting two unfinished pages. Thoughts?

I'm currently churning out two pages a day roughly (just up to inking - bgs and tones I'm doing separately on a different day), I should have the whole thing done mid November.

[Anonymous No.3168730]

>>3168581
I actually have the rough storyboards and general outline of the story, but I can't decide in which style I wanna render the whole thing.

Also, I can't into Medibang account.

[Anonymous No.3168736]

is this every year?

[Anonymous No.3168739]

>>3168727
Dude, that manga is quite amazing... are you in contest next year? if you did then you probably my rival for sure.

[Anonymous No.3168742]

>>3168727
my dick is hard

[Anonymous No.3168747]

>>3168739
>>3168742
Thanks.

This year. We're a team of two, my friend is writing, I'm doing the art. We're going all out and doing whatever it takes to get in SJ. We wanna be the first westerners to get a series running in Jump. We're even learning Japanese haha, just in case this whole contest is just a gimmick and they're in fact reluctant to work with people that don't know the language.

The level of success we could attain if we make it is huge, so it's worth giving it absolutely everything we can. No obstacle is too big, we just gotta work hard.

[Anonymous No.3168764]

>>3168727
I think you have some serious issues of action readability on left page. You have two hits on the top page that both have the enemy balance broken, but the hit to the stomach has him in perfect sumo balance. Then the mess under those three panels. I have no idea what is happening there.

Overall, it's just bunch of cool poses, with no connection between the poses in different panels either on the rider guy or the bad guy. Act the hit combos yourself, from the point of view of both the rider and the bad guy.

Specific example: top left on left page.

I assume you read this right to left.

How does one kick with a left leg diagonally from top left to down right from the previous low lunging straight right, an to the head of a much taller man? And continue, with the same leg, to what appears to be ground dash sweep?

[Anonymous No.3168778]

>>3168764
And just to give some reference material, look up bas rutten on YouTube. He's an ex-pankration and ufc heavyweight champ with clear, and good instructions on how normal powerful people like him punch and kick and position themselves in fight.

[Anonymous No.3168786]

>>3168764
It's a fighting game, that's why. Check out how ASW games look when animated, and things should make a bit more sense.

The following page depicts a more smooth transition in motion as he goes for the finishing hit with a special, with more build up and follow through, but this page is meant to depict a 6 hit combo in a videogame, hence why it reads like that, and why the panels are so tight as well, it all happens in less than 3 seconds.

I'll also be adding hit counters to the whole thing, not only for flair, but also to make things more clear, as I feel there might be an issue on the second page in terms of how the panels flow.

[Anonymous No.3168791]

>>3168727
I'm hoping you plan to add screen tones to make the figures more readable.
It looks like it could be a pretty strong competitor

[Anonymous No.3168799]

>>3168791
yes, tones, backgrounds, onomotopeya, and healthbars/hit counter. Bottom left panel is a zoom on his health bar, with the announcer pointing out what happened.

There's also a missing hit counter on the left page, which will help properly guide the eye through the panels. Plus, dash lines in the bg will help properly separate things.

[Anonymous No.3168813]

>>3168786
It feels a bit strange to emulate fighting game animation without fighting game camera. The action would be much clearer, and the context of the strange movement would became apparent.

Right now you have dynamic, real world action camera with choppy fighting game movement. Why have only one thing changed from the fighting game context?

But, I can imagine with context, this one page would feel even epic, with the info and context given previously that explains why what is shown is cool.

It won't be the page shown in one page threads, but fits well enough with provided context.

[Anonymous No.3168831]

>>3168747
Wow... your story sound like out of Bakuman you're so lucky to have friend writing story for you, in my case i have to do everything by my self and it's VERY VERY hard work, the hardest part is to keep up a quality of art and story at same time.

But i don't expect much with result really, since my manga is more like seinen than shonen, lot of blood and gore and dark story they not fit with shonen style, even if i did win contest they probraby won't let my series running in Jump anyway and i never learn japanese at all LOL

Anyway good luck with your work, i hope to see your series running in Jump someday.

[Anonymous No.3168842]

>>3168727
Overall I have to say it's pretty damn good, but it has some issues going on.
>The line weight is very inconsistent between panels. For example the characters from the 4th panel don't really have a any weight due to the light linework and this shows in almost every panel that isn't a close-up.
I would recommend to use a single size of brush for characters and another size for the backgrounds. Think about it like manga pens: the G-pen, the Maru-pen (crowquill) and the Saji-pen (spoon). You use the G-pen for characters, expression lines and effects, the Maru for backgrounds and fine details and the Saji for consistent lines like borders. Apply the same principles for digital brushes: Size #1 for characters and effects, Size #2 for backgrounds and everything else. Keep the number of sizes small (2 or 3), as this creates unity within the work. Also, don't zoom in too much when you're drawing.

>The layout is rather confusing. The whole page seems cluttered.
Try to keep a flow going on. Keep every drawing inside the panel borders and just break this rule if the character is "breaking into the next panel". For example, in the second page, the MC is zooming out and breaking into TWO panels. For a stylistic choice it's perfectly valid, but it breaks the flow and it makes reading the image a chore. Instead of the 6th panel breaking out into the 4th and 5th, try making the 4th break into the 5th or the 6th breaking into the 7th.

I recommend you reading "Understanding Comics" and "Making Comics" by Scott McCloud for further advise.
Also, I recommend you reading Dragon Ball, but not because it's popular or for the content or anything like that, but because it's very well rendered and the composition is great.

[Anonymous No.3168845]

>>3168813
I get where you're coming from. The rest of the pages in this sequence show more weight into how things are done, and there's more room to breathe. Since there's a bit of an exchange, but when starting the project, and especially during combos, we decided that we'd always adhere to video game logic, and the mechanics we've laid out. I feel that helps give things authenticity. So there will never be any ass pulls that break the mechanics and rules we've laid out.

We also decided to go for dynamic fights, since that gives us the best of both worlds. And that's the main appeal of this project, it's a sports manga, very grounded in realism, with very dymanic over-the-top battle manga fights. I read the Diago Umehara manga, and I felt there was massive missed potential in how the fights were depicted in that. Especially since fighting games are already over the top, and lend themselves very well to that sort of dynamism.

Anyway, it'll make much better sense in context, and the pages that follow, again, have a bit more room to breathe in them, especially once he activate his super. Plus, given the limitation of the one shot, as well as the fact that we're also telling a story with this, not just showing off a cool fight, we're also very limited in what we can show due to page count.

Once the pilot is done, and we get stared in chapter 1 (which if all goes according to plan, you'd be reading after its published in Jump, and never see here), you'll notice the fights have a bit more breathing room to them (though combos will still be tight and follow game logic, as that's what keeps that flow - but instead of being one page tight, they'll be spaced over two pages or so).

[Anonymous No.3168858]

>>3168831
I've actually been reading Bakuman lately, and there are a few similarities (minus the waifu who waits for me to make it, none of that, lol).

Part of why we're willing to jump in, is because splitting the labor of making a weekly manga, between two people, makes things very manageable. One person, is fucking insane in terms of workload. Mad props to the pros.

And thanks, we're gonna do our very best till we make it.

>>3168842
>I would recommend to use a single size of brush for characters and another size for the backgrounds. Think about it like manga pens: the G-pen, the Maru-pen (crowquill) and the Saji-pen (spoon). You use the G-pen for characters, expression lines and effects, the Maru for backgrounds and fine details and the Saji for consistent lines like borders. Apply the same principles for digital brushes: Size #1 for characters and effects, Size #2 for backgrounds and everything else. Keep the number of sizes small (2 or 3), as this creates unity within the work. Also, don't zoom in too much when you're drawing.

This is very good advice, thanks a lot. I've actually started to use two pens with the pages I started working on yesterday and today (G and Crowquill). I noticed the same thing you said about line consistency, and planned to go back and go over some of the lines in this and some of the previous pages. It's still a learning process for me, but I'm trying to get it all down and establish a workflow.

Noted on the zoom as well. Even though I'm using a Cintiq, it is a Companion, so that's probably the issue due to screen size.

I work G Pen at .5 do you reckon that's too small? I have a hard time getting the sizes I should use down.

Also, I have Understanding Comics, I planned on finishing reading it this weekend. I'm pretty much consuming as much as I can to get better and better at this. The idea is to get as close to pro level as I can in as little time as possible, which is why I don't mind redoing things if I must.

[Anonymous No.3168886]

>>3168858
>I work G Pen at .5 do you reckon that's too small?
It depends on what size of paper and resolution you're working on.
Create a new clean page, then pick a brush size and make both long and short strokes. If it looks too big or small then adjust the size.
But remember:
1.- Use the thickest brush (the biggest size) for characters and effects and the smallest for backgrounds, detail and almost everything else. This is for contrast between characters and backgrounds/things.
2.- Don't use more than 2 or 3 sizes. Keep things minimal. This is for unity within an element in the page.

A trick I know is to open up a manga page in whatever program you're using to draw and then try to recreate the strokes in a new transparent layer (lower the intensity of the manga layer, put a white layer at the bottom and adjust the size of the brush). Then open up a new blank page (with the size you're going to use to draw), compare the size of the pages and then try to recreate the strokes YOU just recreated in this resolution (adjust the size if necessary). This gives you a readable size of brush you can work with.

[Anonymous No.3168889]

>>3168886
>A trick I know is to open up a manga page in whatever program you're using to draw and then try to recreate the strokes in a new transparent layer (lower the intensity of the manga layer, put a white layer at the bottom and adjust the size of the brush). Then open up a new blank page (with the size you're going to use to draw), compare the size of the pages and then try to recreate the strokes YOU just recreated in this resolution (adjust the size if necessary). This gives you a readable size of brush you can work with.
That's a great idea!

Thanks!

[Anonymous No.3168904]

>>3168581
>How many of you from /ic/ are entering?

I can't even compete with just the artists in /ic/, and you want me to compete with Japan's best up and comers, plus the best from around the world, for a 60+ hours a week job? I'm good tbqh

[Anonymous No.3168908]

>>3168886
>>3168842
All of your advice has been incredibly useful anon. Who are you btw? How do you know so much about making manga? You sound like a real pro.

[Anonymous No.3168921]

>>3168908
I'm not a pro, you just figure out these things when you read lots of comics and know what you're doing and where to search.
Just do your research and you'll be fine.

[Anonymous No.3168929]

>>3168904
How about you and me make a super hero manga better than Hori's?

[Anonymous No.3168942]

>>3168904
post work

[Anonymous No.3168944]

>>3168942
here.

[Anonymous No.3168946]

>>3168904
Your art doesn't have to be good, just the story and composition.

[Anonymous No.3168954]

>>3168946
True that, yo. True that.

[Anonymous No.3168959]

>>3168727
The middle picture on the left page blends with the other shots around it - the ground/action(?) line on the left looks like his right arm, and the smaller shot of his body on the lower right looks like his left arm. Even though I know they're not after looking at it, it's still what my brain is telling me.
Also there's something 'off' about your foreshortening - the closer parts look out of sync with the further away ones, making them look unbalanced.

Everything else looks fucking incredible! You linework is fantastic. I apologize for all the criticism, but you have amazing talent and I really wanna see you make it!

[Anonymous No.3169227]

>>3168581
You know what? I'm gonna make a comic just for the hell of it and submit it. As a joke. For myself. I don't care how bad it is.

[Anonymous No.3169232]

>>3168581
Not even being a dunning kruger faggot about this, I'm honestly too patrician for shounen shit and that's the only reason I'm not entering. It'd be a waste of time since that pleb Kishi doesn't even know what a good story is, let alone art that isn't lazy like his own.

[Anonymous No.3169236]

>>3168727
I honestly have no clue how to read the left page. Perhaps simplify it instead of trying to be overly flashy.

[Anonymous No.3169240]

>>3168727
The art is good, but I have no idea what the fuck is going on.
If you only posted the left page, I wouldn’t even know if I’m supposed to read it L>R or L<R

[Anonymous No.3169241]

>>3169236
He trips him, then uppercuts him then kicks him back down. It's a little messed up though because usually the top panels on the right read down instead of sideways.

[Anonymous No.3169246]

>>3168581
I have my ideas, but it's zero percent that my skill is. I couldn't hope to enter this in another 10 years at this point.

[Anonymous No.3169247]

>>3169246
Easy, just give us your ideas and we'll credit you if we win.

[Anonymous No.3169252]

>>3169247
Nah, I'm super protective of me doing my own work. I feel like if I don't do it, what's the point.

[Anonymous No.3169255]

>>3168727
Your skill at illustration is evident. But you lack basic knowledge of how to construct an actual comic. Is this your first attempt?

This will take some time to properly master, so the best advice for jow is to just look at what other Mangakas and comic artists have dome, analyze and mimic until you understand what it is exactly that you want to portray.

If you are working with a story guy, you have a useful advantage, and that is not being one of mind.

Ask him to draw you a name ( google what manga names are, the tl;dr is that they are the really rough sketch of the pages, meant to lay the foundations for the layouts and placements of the panels and content in them).

If the dude is able to construct something you can understand, even with a really basic drawimg of stickman, you should have no trouble improving on its composition and making it both readable and stylish.

Its imperative that you work on it because the pages you posted only gave me a headache.
Ask yourself, would you want to watch an animation with a simple artstyle but very clean transitioning, camera angles and focus, or something far more detailed but poorly animated and jerky all around with wierdly-paced action sequences?

Mangas with mediocre art are able to thrive because they are fun to read. Most readers are not art conoisseurs, give them something thats fun to read and they'll be content.

[Anonymous No.3169270]

As much as I want to, im not at the appropriate level of neither writing nor draftsmanship.

And given the poor QoL of a mangaka, I see no reason to put myself through such stressful hell, especially Shonen Jump. The ideal mangaka lifestyle would be to be part of a small-to medium tier MONTHLY magazine that releases cultural sleeper hits.

The rigorous and competitive life in a Shonen Jump serialization would devastate anyone not already used to the kind of workload Japanese society conforms you to.

And you sure as hell wont be doing it for the money unless you think you can get Naruto-tier big. Which you MIGHT, but cmon. There are far easier and quicker ventures if money is the goal.

The only way I would even attempt is if I was part of a team. 1 man is murder, 2 would fit but be stressful, 3 is the comfy zone. More than that and its not worth the shit pay and procrastination.

[Anonymous No.3170005]

>>3169270
0.????
1. Win
2. Take the money
3. Drop out of serialisation

[Anonymous No.3170035]

>>3168727
*teleports behind you*

Heh...

[Anonymous No.3170056]

>>3168747
Pursuing the manga dream often feels hopelessly quixotic, so it's good to know there are other wild motherfuckers out there having a go at it.

[Anonymous No.3170105]

>>3170005
I'm not necessarily 100% sure, but I think the "serialization" reward is actually a mistranslation.
On the Japanese site they use 掲載, which means publication/appearance/insertion, as in "your one-shot is gonna appear in a jump issue".
The word for serialization is 連載.
Maybe someone should check that with Medibang.

[Anonymous No.3170374]

>>3168581
Question.
Which manga magazine do I have to appeal in order to get the one-shot published?

The guy who made Attack on Titan first tried to get it published on Shonen Jump, but was rejected because the editors told him "This is manga, we want JUMP!"
That's pretty shitty, not to mention a huge waste of effort, so I think it's better to appeal to their "style" from the very beginning.

[Anonymous No.3170379]

>>3168722
Do it, I'm total beginner shit and I'm doing it so I can learn some things.

[Anonymous No.3170383]

>>3169232
>Kishi doesn't even know what a good story is, let alone art that isn't lazy like his own
Being a good artist + having good taste and being a good judge.

[Anonymous No.3170393]

>>3170374
>Kishimoto
Literally just look at who's judging and you should know how to play your strengths.

[Anonymous No.3170415]

>>3170393
So stylish battles, friendship, dumbass protagonists, focus on characters and angsty teenagers.
Got it.

[Anonymous No.3170421]

>>3170393
>>3170415
Guys its not because he does one thing that he doesnt love other things. Like I think his favorite manga is Akira, so...
Plus look at the current new buf titles of Jump, Dr Stone or Promised Neverland dont look like Naruto at all

[Anonymous No.3170434]

>>3170421
>he thinks Dr Stone and Promised Neverland are even close to being on the level of Black Clover

[Anonymous No.3170444]

>>3170434
I know. BC a shit. But Stone and NV are still in the top, right? So its Jump material.

[Anonymous No.3170483]

>>3168727
You should really take note of the criticism for the lack of readability, you've got 2months which is plenty of time to redraw a spread and improve clarity. If this is something amateurs can see clear as day then it is an issue.

Consider reading Tongari Boushi no Atelier and look at how beautifully the panels flow while also being an absolute work of art at the same time. That and reading everything by Satoshi Mizukami, you're trying to do far too much.

[Anonymous No.3170489]

>>3170483
>you're trying to do far too much.
Literally created something from nothing, it's not like you can just magically read panels and now know what to make. It's easy for you to crit, but there's no doubt most people here wouldn't even be able to do the same level of panelling.

[Anonymous No.3170499]

>>3168730
>I can't decide in which style I wanna render the whole thing.
Chose anything close to popular Jump stuff?

Also Naf is gonna win.

[Anonymous No.3170501]

>>3170499
(well maybe not win but at least be in the top)

[Anonymous No.3170507]

>>3170499
>Also Naf is gonna win.
Not with that crappy rendering.
I mean, he doesn't really understand cross-hatching and it SHOWS.

[Anonymous No.3170512]

>>3170499
Who's Naf?
Also anyone has anymore reccomendations for mangas with beautiful panel flow? Im a lurker and Ive always been interested in this subject.

[Anonymous No.3170540]

>>3170512
bump

[Anonymous No.3170631]

>>3168727
Too many panels, makes it hard to read. The hand holding the gun is a bit off, make that gesture with your own and feel how uncomfortable it is. This is illustration attempting to be manga, not manga.

[Anonymous No.3170642]

All these mangaka contests do not for me.
The genre required/wanted is always the usual things with the theme friendship/challenges etc. genre that I do not care to do.

[Anonymous No.3170653]

>>3170483
Thanks!

That page is 10/10 btw. As others have said, that's not easy to do. Regardless, I'm definitely putting a lot more focus into panelling and composition, especially for the dialogue sequences. Like you said, 2 months is plenty to redo a lot of stuff. Thanks for the rec, will give it a read.

[Anonymous No.3170654]

>>3170653
>>3168727
You should decrompress the pages more. your comic is reminiscent of western style comic which is very very hard to read at one glance.

Japanes manga is usually read when riding a train, or around 5 minutes before class, so the manga has to be on point, not too many words, and very readable without too much panels.

Try to limit a page with 4-5 panels.

[Anonymous No.3170656]

But I only draw loli doujins.

[Anonymous No.3170662]

>>3170654
Yeah, I've started to stick to a 3 row 6 panel rule, however, those pages due to having no dialogue, and being a rapid sequence of actions will probably remain intentionally dense. Those are literally the only pages that dense, and it's because of both page limit and brevity of each action.

In the following pages things do "slow down" a bit more with much bigger panels.

Still, your advice is fully noted for all the dialogue which is what I was having more problems with.

[Anonymous No.3170664]

>>3170654
very sound advice, ty

[Anonymous No.3170690]

>>3168581
Besides not having the skill Jump would never let me draw yaoi. So...

[Anonymous No.3170692]

>>3170662
I would say improved, but still horrible.

I think the last two panels (the kick and solid snake dodging the kick) are bad at conveying the action, and it is best to combine it.

[Anonymous No.3170694]

>>3170662
>>3170692
more into something like this just my 2 cents

[Anonymous No.3170699]

when youre drawing action scenes, its always better if you show the attacker and the one receiving the attack in one panel, that way, the actions are easily picked up by the reader. reserve the cool poses in finishing moves or stance posing

[Anonymous No.3170708]

>>3170699
>I'm gonna keep pounding it...

that's what I said.

[Anonymous No.3170758]

>>3170692
>>3170694
>>3170699
>>3170708
Noted, I'll change it. I was initially gonna show it in one panel in fact, but I wasn't sure.

I'm gonna finish drafting the first half of the pilot, and post the roughs here, all this feedback is on point.

[Anonymous No.3170768]

i would compete but i have ahrd time finishig my panel for no reason(c2 pic realted for exemple )i know there some thing missing but i can't see it
any tips for that ?

[Anonymous No.3170773]

>>3170768
nigga is tall. anyway, I would suggest removing that last panel and draw the girl one more time in that panel with a better speed line to convey her dancing in the hall better

[Anonymous No.3170787]

>>3170773
so you think a more a compostion problem ?

[Anonymous No.3170796]

>>3170787
more or less. and now when I check it again, the building is drawn so standardly with so standard perspective, so boring.

probably spice it up with background walking people or draw the building in a different angle

[Anonymous No.3170837]

>>3170374
No wonder JUMP is going downhill... (Or has it always been), that's what they get to appealing to the base denominator!

[Anonymous No.3170842]

>>3170768
>ecole de la PLS
Pourquoi j'ai ri putain

[Anonymous No.3170857]

>>3170837
Jump has been going downhill because they refuse to change their ways and always stick to their "identity" (ie: confort zone) as long as they can.
But this is a Japanese cultural thing, so I don't know.

[Anonymous No.3170861]

>>3168581
Hey guys, I think it's VERY FUCKING IMPORTANT to do research, so here are some links if you wanna get going:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1xQpYza2KA

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLmtI8rJqCtVdb73JQoP0XdFjr4MCCjTz5

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLdmj8DC_EVyfZoyPEoyeKnCJ-_xMmege1

Your best bet is to stick to the real japanese stuff and read lots of manga.
Also, if you're gonna pick a how-to-draw manga book, at least pick one that's made by actual japanese people.

[Anonymous No.3170930]

>>3170483
how can pepole draw this lightly and the page still work ?
when i try that i always thing that the page need details

[Anonymous No.3171220]

What font should I use?

[Anonymous No.3171234]

>>3171220
Comic Sans, obviously

[Anonymous No.3171239]

>>3171234
Sasuga. No but seriously? I've never made comics.

[Anonymous No.3171247]

>>3171220
Manga Temple.
It even says it in the name.
It's the best font for manga.

[Anonymous No.3171252]

>>3171247
Thanks. In the meantime I Anime Ace too.

[Anonymous No.3171349]

>>3170861
Great stuff anon

[Anonymous No.3171357]

>>3170861
Holy shit, what a coincidence, when you said tutorials made by actual japanese people, I remembered that I gotta brush up on my SMAC videos. Turns out that was the first vid you linked.

[Anonymous No.3171577]

>>3171220
Really doesn't matter. The judges are only gonna see the translated version anyway.

[Anonymous No.3171924]

>>3171577
That reminds me, the script must appeal to the japanese in almost every way.
From the themes to japanese puns, so you better insert two or three puns that only make sense in japanese.

[Anonymous No.3171960]

>>3171924
Fuck. My japanese is rusty as fuck. Thanks for the reminder.

[Anonymous No.3171964]

>>3170692
Watch this first video here:
>>3170861

In manga you don't add that pops out in the middle space between two pages, you add it on top, sides or bottom. The middle space is always blank, except for two page spreads. If you take time to learn the rules of manga it will surely leave a better impact on the review board.

[Anonymous No.3172053]

>>3170768
>>3170842
^

[Anonymous No.3172384]

>>3170758
Just read alot of battle manga man. No better way to learn but look at how actual commercial art is done.

[Anonymous No.3172414]

come on people show your entries. no need to be shy. we are critiquing it to make it better.

I can't draw anymore, but I was once staff in a flipland manga style compilation book. so i'll try to help people anyway I can.

Also, please note that the entries for the contest are needed to read from Right to Left. that will affect your panelling and stuff.

[Anonymous No.3172497]

>>3172414
No need for me to show what I'm doing cause I basically have to work on every fundamentals and I'm old af so it's hard. But I'll keep doing it because i pushes me to see my flaws and forces me to learn more.

[Anonymous No.3172522]

WHY people keep doing manga when korean webtoons are a far superior comic model to read?

[Anonymous No.3172531]

>>3172522
>liking rape namek comics unironically
hello kimchi yarō

[Anonymous No.3172534]

>>3172522
Name good corean comics.

[Anonymous No.3172536]

>>3168581
Competition's too steep. I have a better plan to break into the comic book industry.

[Anonymous No.3172537]

>>3172522
because if you write a good webcomic, it'll take quite a bit till a fanbase builds up, if you get judged worthy to have your shit in JUMP then you start off with a good amount of readers, of course you need to impress those readers because else they'll vote you out but I guess the huge demographic is appealing

[Anonymous No.3172538]

>>3172536
Competition's too steep everywhere. Just do it and stop findin excuses unless you got something better to do right now.

[Anonymous No.3172541]

>>3172538
I have things I'm obligated to do, but even if I didn't I couldn't produce a quality comic in time.

[Anonymous No.3172542]

>>3172536
just DO IT!!!

[Anonymous No.3172555]

>>3172534
Hive
Tales of unusual
Yumi's cells
Subtle Disaster
Aisopos

[Anonymous No.3172556]

>>3172555
>every chosenjin comics have to resort to webtoons because they can't draw comics

[Anonymous No.3172558]

>>3172555
Thanks, I actually don't know shit about korean webco, I'll try those

[Anonymous No.3172599]

>>3172556
Yeah, keep lying to yourself. Webtcomics are the future of comics, and koreans webtoons are the best for now.

You can add movement, paralaxe for 3D effects, sounds, all this to make the experience even more immersive.


An example of effects that we might be seeing as a standart in the future of webcomics (but of course it needs to be polished a bit):

http://tc02.net/Icarus/index.html


I'm not even get into the matter of story, which webtoons are also far superior.
Overall koreans > japaneses


>>3172558
you might want to try those too:
Bastard
Dr. Frost
G'Day

[Anonymous No.3172625]

>>3172414
I would but i dont want to be associated with ic. Plus you guys dont use lube.

[Anonymous No.3172650]

>>3168727
You're really good dude. But I'd advise using screentones, and I really mean that. Screentones are EVERYWHERE in manga, and they add a ton of helpful texture. Use em to your advantage like everyone else is.

[Anonymous No.3172682]

>>3172599
>gook comics
>everything is NTR

[Anonymous No.3172687]

>>3172682
Stop reading Hentai webtoons.

[Anonymous No.3172694]

>>3172687
>NTR everywhere
>even in K-drama, movies, even fucking JAVs that actually has Korean girls that pretend to be Japs are in a NTR story
>fucking manga with gook mangakas have NTR

NTR is a national fetish for gooks

[Anonymous No.3172704]

>>3172522
Potential millions of dollars vs. not millions of dollars.

It's Shounen Jump, not sone offbeat Japanese Manga editor. No one else in the world will offer you that level of success.

>>3172599
Webcomics will never grant you the same reader base published manga do. On your first printing, you're looking at roughly 100,000 books sold on average.

[Anonymous No.3172705]

>>3172694
It's the most feminist Asian nation, it's no wonder they're all cucks. SK is basically the Sweden of Asia.

[Anonymous No.3172876]

>>3172625
don't worry about me, I'm just a "xerox nigger"

and Kishimoto said it himself, its not about great art, its about great comics

bo

[Anonymous No.3172911]

The comic pages are still way too rough to show but I'm on 25 out of about 50-55, taking my time and hoping to be finished by mid-late December.

[Anonymous No.3172934]

>>3172911
is that one of the pages? the entries must be black and white

[Anonymous No.3172943]

>>3172934
No it's just some concept work/doodle work I did before starting on the actual comic. I'm a huge shounen jump fan, I wouldn't make that stupid of an error.

[Anonymous No.3172953]

>>3172911
what's it about?

[Anonymous No.3172959]

>>3172953
Setting is in the real world in Ireland where I live. MC is recovering from trauma/grief and finds out about the existence of something called Keys and has to come to terms with being thrust into that new reality. Sorry I have to keep it vague, but it's basically just a one shot for now, I don't have much else planned beyond what happens in those 55 pages. If it sounds edgy as fuck, that's what I'm going for, I have another story I've been writing and doing concepts towards for years and it's much more of a hopeful, true shounen so I decided for this competition I wanted to challenge myself and do something a little darker but still try and keep it within the boundaries of shounen.

[Anonymous No.3172966]

>>3172876
Alright, thanks, I will expect a helpful crit from you then. I guess Ill post then.

[Anonymous No.3172967]

Fun fact: A trio of French artists were to draw a manga for ultra jump but got canned due to time constraints (these fuck were doing other projects at the same time)

[Anonymous No.3172974]

I just found out about this through this thread.
Sounds daunting as fuck tbqh, the competition for this would be overwheaing. Gotta give props to you guys in this thread working on a submission.
I guess I'll try and whip up something using my spare time from now on, primarily to exercise my drawing skills but also to make a submission.
Ain't gonna win but why not throw it out there?

[Anonymous No.3172975]

>>3172974
*Overwhelming

[Anonymous No.3172976]

>>3172974
First and foremost I'm doing this just for the experience, it's definitely worth it to just try and create something for it. Regardless of the end result I think you'd learn a lot from just putting it together.

[Anonymous No.3172998]

>>3172959
that's not edgy. only surreal. You wanna try edgy? my story is real edge.

2 police officers are friends, 1 took mission as a drug seller informant inflitrating the biggest drug lords, the other went to special anti-drug force. long story short, the informant's cover is blown, got killed by the drug lords, and raid took place in the meth factory, the other police killed one of the drug lords, however, in trial, the drug lords were released on the grounds of human rights, and the other officer is jailed for killing the drug lord.

This is based on the quite infamous case in 2015 in the Philippines where 3 chinese drug lords were released by the judge on the grounds of human rights because they were arrested in a drug factory but not in the act of consuming the drugs.

[Anonymous No.3173045]

>>3172998
>>3172976
>>3172959
can you write about heavy drugs in shonen jump, lol

how edgy can we go for a shonen jump one-shot competition

[Anonymous No.3173054]

>>3173045
well the contest says any genre is allowed. but the first prize winner is a definite print on shonen jump, while the second prize winner is on jump plus.

So, its any genre is allowed, but definitely, if you want to win 1st prize, it has to be shonen

[Anonymous No.3173189]

>>3172876
Comics are about comics, makes sense

[Anonymous No.3173193]

>>3172967
You mean the guys from Lastman?

[Anonymous No.3173422]

>>3172704
If money is what defines good art and sucess, you could say that Twilight and Fifty shades of gray are the apex of literature.

[Anonymous No.3174366]

>>3173422
If you think fancy special effects are what make comics great, you're sadly mistaken. Read Understanding Comics by Scott McCloud to get a better grasp on things.

Webcomics are their own thing and will never replace the traditional medium.

[Anonymous No.3174448]

>>3168904
a lot of the stuff's deviantart tier, you wouldn't be in too much trouble when they narrow down the contestants

[Anonymous No.3174471]

>>3168581
Just to be clear: do they want something like a pilot or just a self contained story with definite ending?

[Anonymous No.3174563]

hey this thread is pretty good

[Anonymous No.3174784]

>>3174471
I'd say self contained stories. They're not planning on serializing the winners, just publishing one-shot, someone correct me if I'm wrong.

[Anonymous No.3174789]

>>3174784
yup, they are asking self contained stories or oneshots.

anyway, if Jump becomes so interested in your comics and they decide to make it a series, you'll have to redo the manga again anyway, just like Naruto one shot

[Anonymous No.3175300]

>>3174563
I agree, keep the thread alive.

[Anonymous No.3175353]

>>3174789
Wow that pilot. I cant believe naruto pissed on a dude, cursed, and showed his hot genderswapped ass. Also suicide? This pilot is hardcore.

[Anonymous No.3175541]

>>3175353
Jump was different in the old days... Gore/Decapitation? Check.

[Anonymous No.3175692]

>>3175300
shame about those seriously trying to make their comics stopped posting their work for feedback

[Anonymous No.3175727]

>>3175692
I'm gonna post some in a sometime later. After the feedback I got, I decided to take all the advice to read both Scott McCloud books, cram a lot of manga, and repanel everything. Because I'm working in digital I can salvage the art.

People were right with the feedback they gave me, so I'm fixing it all. There's also a severe lack of hikigoma (hook panels), in most pages, so I'm fixing that too. I learned that after watching a bunch of videos from that SMAC channel posted here.

[Anonymous No.3175755]

>>3168727
>>3170773
There doesn't seem to be much though put into the gutters and bleeds of your paneling. Most magazines provide guidance on this stuff, but you also learn this through the experience of doing print by yourself. Don't box everything in. Don't have panels too close to the edge. Have some panels bleed past the edge of the page. Be aware that the spine would be to the right of all odd-numbered pages, and to the left of all even-numbered pages, so place your dialogue boxes and artwork accordingly.

Some of the hatching are either too light to be reproduced, or too dense and may result in a blotchy mess. You should spend some time learning the basic technology of b/w printing, and tailor your art to it. Also, learn to use a rolling ruler with a tapered edge for inking.

These things are not dealbreakers. The strength of the comic will mainly be in the ideas. But having a more professional, print-ready product never hurts.

[Anonymous No.3175799]

First rule of comics/manga: it has to have an interesting story.

try to summarize your manga entry in a single sentence that also describes the MC. if it has a interesting premise, you might have a manga/comic worthy to read. here are some examples

Naruto: a boy with a demon fox inside him tries to do good despite the odds
One Piece: goofy pirate travels the world, seeking adventure for legendary treasure
TWOGK: a guy tries to make all the girls fall in
love with him

if you can't summarize the story in this way, you will have a story that is very confusing to read

[Anonymous No.3175805]

>>3175799
Two world champions face off against each other in the finals of the most popular fighting game in the world.

If it were to describe the MC:

An underdog faces off against the undefeated champion in the most popular fighting game in the world.

[Anonymous No.3175816]

>>3175799
a 50 year old starting to draw and trying to git gud but is hindered by neuro ligameme and other shit on some anonymous forum.

[Anonymous No.3175818]

>>3175816
this MC is very interesting. A very classic tale of underdog rising up to the challenge with internal and external hindrance. Is it gonna be a pure drama, comedy or what?

[Anonymous No.3175822]

>>3175816
not sure if serious

[Anonymous No.3175823]

>>3175822
we got middle age men as MCs, and the premise is interesting.

>>3175816
how many pages are you thinking of? how fast can you at least draw a rough sketch of the name?

[Anonymous No.3175825]

>>3175805
there's a lot of underdog stories, what will make the MC stand out from the others?

[Anonymous No.3175831]

>>3175818
a great story should be a like roller coaster ride. containing both. it will contain timeless jokes like warrior.wip and drama such as taste of bitter failure after beaten by a 4 year old talented drawfag who started drawing at 3 months old.

>>3175823
about 7000 volumes, and 3 hours 24 mins 48 seconds for the name.

[Anonymous No.3175835]

>>3175831
You do know that the manga entry only allows for max 55 pages. put only one plot point. trim the story down that it can fit 55 pages

[Anonymous No.3175838]

>>3175835
I'll just make it old man trying to enter some manga contest then.

[Anonymous No.3175844]

>>3175825
1. it's about eSports, which is a super hot topic atm
2. you'll see, I'm not gonna give away the nuances if the story before it's out, you'll just have to wait for December to give it a read
3. the pilot and the actual story are very different. We wrote the pilot so that it works as a stand alone self-contained story. It's even got a different set of MCs as the full story is much more heart warming SoL. The pilot is really meant more to pitch and promote the idea of what a sports manga about competitive gaming could be like

>>3175835
>>3175831
That's the thing, telling a good, self contained story in 55 pages is fucking difficult. It's doable, but still very hard to pull off. Finding a way to get your readers invested in your characters in a very small time so they can become sympathetic to their plight is the key to it all.

[Anonymous No.3175845]

>>3175838
when can we see a rough draft of the name, outline of the story?

[Anonymous No.3175847]

>>3175838
You know Bakuman exists right?

Making a manga about a dude trying to win a manga competition could backfire on you in that the editors could see it as you trying to pander to them.

Last contest, one of the finalists was an entry about a girl and her editor trying to make a manga. Their comment was that they thought the creator was good at making heart-warming stories, but they wished she'd picked a different subject matter as it was "a bit unrealistic."

Which to me, felt like the polite Japanese way of saying, "don't try to pander please."

That said, she did make it to the finalists, so there's that too.

[Anonymous No.3175853]

>>3175844
I think you are actually putting the cart before the horse.

polish off the one-shot first to a mirror sheen before thinking about the expanded story.

As for making one shot in 55 pages, some of the famous manga one shots were less than that. naruto was around 40, TWOGK was around 48. early City Hunter (there were a lot of City Hunter one-shot stories) was 40.Junji Ito makes one-shots in 16 pages or so. If you are thinking 55 pages are too difficult to tell a good one shot, trim the fat.

[Anonymous No.3175860]

one of the most important thing to note when creating a self contained story within the limits is to create characters with very strong presence

A character with a very strong presence will grab the reader's attention and the character can drive the plot forward. these examples include Naruto, Kenshiro, and other shonen heroes.

However, to make a character with a strong presence, the character is made to be usually one dimensional, but, this is to focus on his characteristic that we are supposed to care about. Since this is all about a one-shot, making the MC one-dimensional is fine, since you can add layers to his personality as the story goes along, if it continues.

[Anonymous No.3175862]

>>3175799
Collect em' all battle monsters premise except the MC won't stop fucking cheating during battles.

[Anonymous No.3175864]

>>3175853
Well, we were gonna make this story and make a pilot to promote it anyway. We've been planning this for about a year now, designing stuff, making a fictional game, and putting it all together. This contest just kinda fell on our laps, and happened to line up with our original release date anyway. It's also what opened out eyes to the fact that the best way to promote our stuff and really let it reach its max potential was through SJ.

So for us it's all or nothing. Even if we don't win the contest, we're gonna try again and submit it in Japanese in Jump Rookie till we make. We know a manga about eSports could be massively popular due to not only the concept and appeal, but also to how well it lends itself to telling a genuinely good story.

Whatever skills we're lacking, whatever we need to improve or learn until we make it, we're gonna do it till we do. Because this has the potential to be huge.

Also, I'm not saying we find it hard, but rather, that telling a genuinely good self-contained short story with just that many pages is trickier than it sounds. You really gotta plan things out properly and make every scene count. Squeeze every last drop of character and emotion out of your scenes.

It was more like advice for the thread, than a complaint. People underestimate the difficulty of a short story, you have less room for build up, so you gotta create investment quick. So revize that draft again ad again till you got it.

[Anonymous No.3176452]

>>3175799
People bring their Genies and Demonic contracts to that Legendary Philologist (dude who studies origin of words), so that they dont get screwed by Genie shenanigans or Demonic wordplay. Kek.
Its like hes a lawyer but its magic so its more fun.

[Anonymous No.3176453]

>>3176452
terrible

[Anonymous No.3176463]

>>3176453
I-Its not like i asked you Anon-kun!

Anyway, thats not my real story. Puns wont translate

[Anonymous No.3176465]

Guess I'll find time to finish this.

[Anonymous No.3176501]

>>3176465
Looks interesting, i cant wait to see it cleaned

[Anonymous No.3176502]

>>3170374
What the fuck this manga means by saying "with peach boy even the devil laughs." And why do they call the person s (he). Is this manga readable?

[Anonymous No.3176504]

>>3175541
I wish I was there for the old JUMp

[Anonymous No.3176608]

>>3176452
seems okay. more or less a typical isekai plot. when can we expect a name?

[Anonymous No.3176613]

>>3175864
I won't comment on the story in detail, but I have read a lot of video game tournament mangas in the past (the most popular was Takahashi Meijin's)

But I do believe that you should basically shows us a rough draft of the name, you can take out the dialogue.

[Anonymous No.3176615]

>>3175864
I mean I wont comment on the story of your proposed manga.

[Anonymous No.3176620]

top gear top tip:

If you are having troubles with panelling your manga, it is best to draw the name in a storyboard style first

this way, you can see if your story flows naturally. and you can change other things before putting it in a proper manga format

[Anonymous No.3177564]

Tried it once last time. It was kind of a mess because I only started 10 days before deadline. I wonder if they would allow the same premise again.

I wanted to do kind of a reverse Log Horizon. Where NPC want to kill player behinds player characters for the purpose of their world's politics. Although I suppose Re: Creator did something like that already, but it didn't go where I was interested.

[Anonymous No.3177633]

>>3175816
Can I steal this idea?

[Anonymous No.3177635]

>tfw gotta cut out all the build up and foreshadowing I had already done to make space for the actual meat of the story
I went into it planning too far ahead as if I was turning this into an actual series and have now realised I need to cut almost all of that out to just show the interesting parts for a more self contained one-shot. This sucks, but I think it'll be for the best in the end.

[Anonymous No.3177700]

>>3176608
In about a week, Im narrowing down names that sound ok in english and have good japanese puns. Something like Urusei Yatsura, I love its wordplay

[Anonymous No.3177745]

How long does it usually take you to make an average name page? 1 hour here...being a beginner sucks but it's fun.

Anyone have some advices on what absolutely not to do with panelling/bubbles? I'm just winging it so it probably makes no sense.

[Anonymous No.3177778]

>>3177745
it takes you one hour?? to make a page?? not bad. A tip for you is NO DAMN TANGENTS... they annoy me and confuse others, heres a lin kt ohelp you out http://www.smackjeeves.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=21&t=13442

[Anonymous No.3177810]

>>3177745
the average name should not take about 1 hour per page here.

names can be just stick figure with speech, names can have One-tier drawing, the important thing about the name is how you flow the story from panel to panel.

[Anonymous No.3177817]

>>3177778
Just a very rough name page. I don't know how long it'll take me to make clean pages, I'd say probably between 1 and 1,5 day (which should be enough to let me do 40 pages until the deadline).

Thanks for the tip!

>>3177810
Yeah, I was hesitating between making stick figure stuff and trying to form stuff a bit more and guess the perspective. I naturally went for that. But stick figure stuff should be the way specially for someone inexperienced, I'll try to switch to that thanks.

[Anonymous No.3177822]

>>3177810
>>3177817
Now that I looked at some ONE page again, funny thing is I think I actually did that. I'm just slow as fuck lol. Damn all of this got me pumped. Too bad comics are probably a medium that's very hard to make a living off. But who knows with Webtoon and such + Patreon.

[Anonymous No.3177835]

>>3177817
Np, good luck with your work!

[Anonymous No.3177842]

>>3170483
>Tongari Boushi no Atelier
Fuck this manga was good, but damn it is short. Any more manga like this? With such beautiful linework??

[Anonymous No.3177956]

>>3177842
Otoyomegatari

[Anonymous No.3177960]

>>3177956
Thanks a lot! Looks amazing!

Also the dude behind Tongari Boushi no Atelier seems really into american comics. Ive never seen a jap into them... Does Japan actually read Marvel and DC?

[Anonymous No.3177983]

>>3177960
OnePunch!!!!

[Anonymous No.3178007]

>>3177842
Lindbergh, Chichikogusa and Hakumei to Mikochi are also wonderfully drawn.

[Anonymous No.3178122]

>>3177983
Damn! That looks awesome, thanks.
>>3178007
So crisp, saved, thx

[Anonymous No.3178659]

>>3168727
>>3170662

You got tumblr, blog, deviantart, artstation or something?

[Anonymous No.3179127]

How do I stop being an ideas guy and actually get my ass to work? I know I'm not gonna win so I was gonna self publish my idea anyways, or at least tweak it and pitch it to a publisher as many times as it takes, but all I've got right now are ideas. I really admire those of you who are actually making progress and putting something together. Maybe one day I'll be in the same boat.

[Anonymous No.3179146]

>>3168581
I want to enter, and from the current submissions i'd probably win, but i'm seeing my story, a somewhat death note style action/drama, as a long ass movie and i don't know if it'll fit in 55 pages.

[Anonymous No.3179151]

>>3179127
>Maybe one day I'll be in the same boat.
How about today?

>>3179146
Can't you delete elements from the sotry? Make a shorter version with the essential stuff only?

[Anonymous No.3179158]

>>3179146
>and from the current submissions i'd probably win,
lmfao look at this krugtard, go ahead and post yoru shitty art and embarrass yourself

[Anonymous No.3179159]

>>3179158
Naf isn't gonna win anon, just drop it. Even by looking at the stuff posted ITT it's evident he's gonna get outclassed.

[Anonymous No.3179164]

>>3179159
the fuck are you on about retard?

[Anonymous No.3179168]

>>3179151
I know that's wjhat i need to do but... It's so hard to delete stuff from something you have a clear idea of ready in your mind. Its like those deleted scenes that add so much but do not make it into the story.

Also im a fucking perfectionist idiot, i absolutely hate how much time i can spend on non important stuff. To top it off i'm greatly attached to a e s t h e t i c s and probably want to use a full page for a single face or something and waste space. Godamnit man, this is hard.

[Anonymous No.3179171]

>>3179168
wow cool man, once you get started it's going to be a huge hit

[Anonymous No.3179421]

>>3179146
>>3179168
If you're so confident that your story is good why don't you just write it the way you want to? If it really is better than all the submissions you could find your own path to success. No reason to sacrifice parts of it to fit a contest

[Anonymous No.3179522]

>>3179168
Doing > not doing.
What do you think is gonna happen with that story if you don't do it now?
And it doesn't even matter, if you wanna write stories you should cling to one so much like it's the only idea you'll ever have, just do it and move on to something else.
Being overly attached is described by lots os pros in many domains as something that only stops you.
Not even speaking about Jump, if you wanna do something aimed to them, you better accept redoing things.

[Anonymous No.3179597]

>>3179158
Random greenhorm here
What does krugtard mean?

[Anonymous No.3179602]

>>3179522
Not that anon, but what you said reminds me of my old art teacher who would makes us draw work just to destroy it. I never truly understood it, but i guess the principle applies to stories too.

Gotta have an abundance mentality with ideas, cuz whatever you came up with yesterday isnt the best thing youll ever come up with.

[Anonymous No.3179686]

>>3179597
dunning kruger + retard

[Anonymous No.3179744]

>>3179686
Thanks!

[Anonymous No.3180153]

>>3179151
>How about today?
I don't even know where to start. Should I just storyboard? Write the basic plot? I have one character design and a neat plot in mind. Kind of a shounen style. But I don't have anybody I can pitch it to, to see if it's actually stupid or not. And I can't pitch it on here because if it is a good idea someone will take it and run with it and I'll be helpless because I was just an "ideas guy"

[Anonymous No.3180182]

>>3180153
Plot outline>Character sheets>chapter outline>storyboard/script>name>finished product

You can send it into SJ or Image Comics, or submit it into any manga/comic contest. If you wanna aim lower, find one of those online manga magazines, like Whyt Manga's Saturday AM, and have him take a look at it. Granted his standards are very low, but it'll at least get you an audience.

[Anonymous No.3180250]

>>3179146
>from the current submissions i'd probably win
You really gotta learn how to be humble.

[Anonymous No.3180352]

>>3180250
confidence is key

[Anonymous No.3180399]

>>3180352
someone shoot this retard

[Anonymous No.3180401]

>>3180399
rude, I'm not even that guy.

[Anonymous No.3180568]

>>3180250
Yeah I guess if anyone better were to participate they should stay humble and admit to being as good as the pages of trash probably done by 15 year olds on there.

But at least you're a good and honoroble man, you're humble, automatically puts you on morally high ground, really respectable person, wow, if only I was too.

[Anonymous No.3180581]

>>3180568
post work

[Anonymous No.3180848]

When your art will be shit tier amongst all the japs, but if Hajima Isaya can create one of the most well known anime series with his shit art, you can at least compete, right? r i ght

[Anonymous No.3181246]

>>3180182
How about Webtoon/Tapas? You'd probably get more audience here but I may be wrong, I didn't even knew about Saturday AM

>>3180848
/ic/ is probably too attached to top tier art. I think you need something that's just clean/understandable and flows well if you got a good story/concept to go with it.

[Anonymous No.3181248]

I'm super shit at backgrounds, what's a good way to make them overlook this, draw one good background in the beginning of each scene using reference and then just avoid details and use screentones and stuff for the rest of the panels? Any good example of manga/comics where the author is clearly not good at bg and still makes you wanna keep reading it?
(yes, I plan on learning, but I don't really have time until the deadline, I'm already learning....everything else.)
I could photobash like a lot of mangaka do but I kinda don't want to do it because I find that it often clashes with the art, I'd rather do it myself so it goes with the rest and so I can learn as I go.

[Anonymous No.3181250]

I don't think /ic/ has comics threads most of the time. We should do that regularly even after this contest is over.

[Anonymous No.3181253]

>>3181248
Draw easy backgrounds that mainly use boxes
Or draw backgrounds that are organic like nature so you have leeway

[Anonymous No.3181504]

Im kinda dissapointed ic has a huge thread just for this. You guys need to aim lower. Just because big shiny shonen Jump has its name on it, you guys flock to this thread? What about the competitions silent manga has or the other ones medibang has? Why didnt anyone make threads for those? Why is everyone attracted to huge competitions that youre less likely to win, than smaller ones you have a higher chance of conquering?

[Anonymous No.3181510]

>>3181250
The medium of comics is foreign to /ic/ because this board is 99% aspiring video game concept artists.

[Anonymous No.3181523]

>>3181510
Indeed. Sometimes i wonder how all of them are "gonna make it" whem they have such similar goals.

[Anonymous No.3181550]

>>3180581
Has that ever worked?

[Anonymous No.3181553]

>>3181504
Because making manga in Japan is hard fucking work, so if you're gonna bust your ass, it might as well be for the publisher who'll make you a millionaire by being in their magazine. Nobody wants to be the next Felipe Smith.

Because it's good to have high ambitions to motivate yourself with.

Because this is a historic first time that Shounen fucking Jump has held a competition that gives westerners a chance to be published on their main magazine.

Because I, and I reckon most anyone else here didn't know about SMAC or any of these other contests, or even Medibang until just recently.

[Anonymous No.3181625]

God damnit, I thought that I had chance due to how small Medibang was. Now all of the autists on 4chan are gonna ruin everything. OP shoulda just kept his mouth shut

[Anonymous No.3181668]

>>3181553
Heck youre right.
But whats wrong with being Felipe? Just looked him up and being the first western mangaka is an ok accomplishment.

[Anonymous No.3181686]

>>3181625
You're pretty much going up against all upcoming mangakas in Japan, don't worry about us too much

[Anonymous No.3181690]

>>3181686
Yeah dudes on ic are doing it for fun. While guys in Japan are doing it because its their passion. It will be the very fucking culmination for thousands of hours of manga reading on trains, so they know what they like and dont like to see in manga. Those participating have been drawing it for most of their lives, so they have an authentic manga style too.

[Anonymous No.3181698]

>>3181690
I literally have been drawing all my life and even after learning how to draw in the traditional western sense I still have a dream of making comics for a living. I have 2-3 story ideas that I've had for about forever, one is almost fully planned out. I'm doing this because this is my dream, not for the money

[Anonymous No.3181707]

>>3181698
Thats admirable, the best of luck to you.

[Anonymous No.3181740]

>>3170483
I like this mangaka work, but sometimes her panels are overly decorated bordering the kitsch side. Consider checking Endevi as well.

[Anonymous No.3181774]

>>3181504
For me I just discovered those contests so here's why I tried no others.
But none of this is important. They'll probably flip through 2 pages of mine and close it.
So not aiming for anything. Just took this opportunity as a way to push myself to make comics is all.

[Anonymous No.3181831]

Is it bad that I really want to see a child to win?? Anyone of any age can enter, so it would really show that anyone can make a good manga if some rando 14 year old can. Last years winner made his entry on his phone with his finger for a stylus, so anything could happen really

[Anonymous No.3181873]

One of things that I'm looking forward to the most, is the promise that someone will analyse and read my work, regardless to if I place or not. I've never been one to show my stories to others, but I hope that at least one of the judges will find joy in my work

[Anonymous No.3182428]

>>3181698
Yes, but do you have what it takes to make it in this industry?

[Anonymous No.3182429]

>>3181668
It's not that there's anything wrong, it's that for the amount he worked, he got barely fuck all out of it really.

[Anonymous No.3182498]

>>3181740
I agree with that, some of the pages are overly decorative and draw attention to themselves. In general though the panels/page composition when they're not diegetic is still nice and very easy to read.

I couldn't find raws for Endevi, unless I need to try one of the other names it goes by.

Shimanami Tasogare also has some interesting page layouts, although they're often times more of an entire page rather than seperate images worked into something contextual.

[Anonymous No.3182653]

>>3168581
I hope you guys know how to make a name and what to cut out of the final draft.

[Anonymous No.3182668]

>>3182498
What does diagetic mean when you're referring to comics?
I know how retarded it is is to ask this on an internet forum, but on google I get weird results.

[Anonymous No.3182794]

>>3182668
Me being a pretentious cunt, however its based on how its typically used to refer to music although you can get more creative examples.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6hnxtl4g9M

A lot of the music in Babydriver is also in the world, either on his headphones or car stereo. The game Deadspace has all its UI in the world instead of under so out of world menu. So with comics its basically the same shit, using a window frame to make up panels or a desk they're leaning on to cut. In a sense it's also close to how Edgar Wright edits his films.

[Anonymous No.3182854]

>>3182794
Will Eisner also did that a lot in The Spirit, and he talks about those methods for framing in his book.

I think it's a good technique imo, it's very creative, and difficult to do well.

[Anonymous No.3183039]

>>3181831
WTF. Post link plz

[Anonymous No.3183062]

>>3182653
Do you have any more behind the scenes images like this?

[Anonymous No.3183196]

>>3183062
All of the Bakuman Tankobons feature bits like that, in between the chapters, that's where it's from.

[Anonymous No.3183202]

>>3182498
Thanks for teaching us something new in regard to diagetic techniques in media, but imo the mangaka of Atelier is a master of this. It gives the panels a 3d feel, disrupting the monotony of box panels, while illustrating story elements.

Ive done this four times in the forty pages of my current submission, so i hope the judges dont find this too annoying.

Although, I probably shouldnt worry as mangaka admire manga totally different from their style. For instance One piece's creator was jealous of a small time mangaka.
http://www.crunchyroll.com/anime-news/2016/01/03/one-piece-creator-proclaims-jealousy-of-your-lie-in-april-plus-an-unbelievable-bonus-recommendation-from-attack-on-titan-author
On that note - read your lie in april, try to make narutos creator jealous with your own one shot.

[Anonymous No.3183203]

>>3183062
Just check the Bakuman manga.
There's one at the end of each chapter.
You can torrent the whole series in english from somewhere.

[Anonymous No.3183225]

>>3168581
>>3182653
>>3183062

Hey guys, I just forgot.
I know of a technique for those who need to learn how to make a rough draft or "name."

All you need to do is just pick up a random issue or chapter of a comic or manga and then just copy the panels (including dialogue) in a clean sheet of paper.
Do NOT trace the panels or even copy the art line by line. Just copy the "sequence" and "flow" to get the hang of how things move from panel to panel.
The purpose of this is to learn the flow of the actions from panel to panel, and if you feel that something is weird with the sequence, just fix things according to what you know.

Once you feel comfortable with what you learned, then you're ready to make a real rough draft of your own.

Do NOT do this with a single page or two, do it with a WHOLE chapter or two.
In this case, what they want is an one-shot, so rather than random 20-p chapters use instead several 50-p one-shots to get a hold of how a story can fit between those fifty-something pages.

Of course, don't use anything you copied in your draft.

[Anonymous No.3183242]

>>3183225
Do this. But also complement it by reading both Scott McCloud books and breaking down the types of panel transitions they use, as well as the difference in flow between word dominant scenes, image dominant scenes, etc... There's a lot of nuanced stuff going on in comics you won't understand by simply copying page layouts without this kind of knowledge.

In fact, you're better off studying the chapters and taking notes on this stuff than copying them.

Manga composition is indeed something more analytical than otherwise. There os a rhyme and reason to it all, and intuition alone won't pull you through unless you understand the reasoning for many decisions taken.

[Anonymous No.3183393]

>>3183203
>Bakuman
Are there any other manga about making manga?
I only know Bakuman, but I'm sure there are like two or three series floating around.
Need some inspiration for this shit.

[Anonymous No.3183427]

>>3183393
G Senjou Heavens Door, Kakukaku Shikajika, Gekiga Hyouryuu, Aoi Honoo. Watch all of Manben on dailymotion and possibly Shirobako.

[Anonymous No.3183428]

>>3183393
there is this one, 男の条件 or "The Qualifications of a Man" by the guy who wrote Ashita no Joe.
a story about a former criminal and convict who decides to become a real man... by drawing manga. the MC looks like he came straight from a gay porno.


actually I'm looking for scans of this one for translation purposes. seems like fun.

[Anonymous No.3183527]

>>3183428
Damn there's so many gems hidden in the past.
I fucking loved Ashita no Joe, probably one of my favorite manga, I wish there was more translated from those guys.

[Anonymous No.3183588]

>>3168581
HOLY SHIT!!!
I didn't even know they had international contests! 0___0

[Anonymous No.3183594]

>>3168727
I'm rooting for you anon! do your best!

[Anonymous No.3183664]

I'm going to study that myself since I just thought about it, but anyone knows what makes the difference between the average shonen from the 70's/80's and shonen today?
I love styles like Ishinomori and Chiba but I'm not sure why.

Also you know those kind of panels on top of another with no gutter? Can't find any example right now, but about those, are they used for a specific effect/feeling?

[Anonymous No.3183707]

Hell, my chapter is already done, I just need to do the inking and I'll be just fine...
One thing is that I can't even compete with /ic/
Here's a cover page

[Anonymous No.3183729]

>>3183707
post the whole chapter first with 2 pages side by side so we can look at what things you could improve on.

But first thing first. That character, if is a shounen-action protagonist is quite bad. His silhouette is very poor.

[Anonymous No.3183730]

>>3183664
the change of shounen action manga is more or less because of censorship laws and editorial mandate.

I mean, Shounen Jump used to have Fist of the North Star back in the 80s, which has full gore, then around 80s-90s turned to just bloods and implied murder like DBZ and stuff. Now, we have Naruto which is probably editorial mandate, that the MC should not kill, ever.

[Anonymous No.3184461]

>>3183730
Oh I was talking about graphic style/panelling etc sorry

[Anonymous No.3184475]

>>3183428
Found the digital version on sale:

a m z n (dot) to
/2h6kuqa

Also, holy shit, the MC really looks pretty damn gay.

[Anonymous No.3184696]

>>3183729
What do you mean by a very poor silhouette?
Is his charadesign too plain?

[Anonymous No.3184703]

>>3178007
Cute

[Anonymous No.3184724]

>>3183730
Naruto kills people all the time

So does goku

Luffy doesnt

And i think ichigo only killed ginjo

[Anonymous No.3184844]

>>3184724
Naruto talked no jutsued people into converting most of the time. The only people he killed that come to memory are Kagura and Madara.

Goku never killed anyone iirc, unless they were a monster, but he always showed compassion first.

He spared Frieza. He spared Vegeta. He wished for Buu to come back. The only one he outright killed was Piccolo Daimyo. He even spared Jr.

That said, all of this os irrelevant when you consider that Death Note ran on SJ and featured an MC that was a sociopathic killer, who killed many innocents just cause they got in his way.

Also, the Promised Neverland. Ch. 1 shows a child getting murdered and stuffed in a jar.

There's no real issue with it. It's just the more graphic or dark something is, the more Jump might consider it more suitable for a Seinen mag. HnK for example is very gory in its depictions of death. Since then, they have toned it down, and that stuff tends to be more Seinen. Look at One Punch Man. It runs on their Seinen mag.

[Anonymous No.3184907]

>>3184696
Its too plain, no stand-out features, no interesting shapes. i look at it, and immediately think of FFT Monk.

[Anonymous No.3184914]

>>3183707
Holy shit that looks a lot like a character I designed by cobbling together random fighting game characters. Right down to the Kazuya gloves and headband.

[Anonymous No.3186023]

does anyone have some tips when working on digital to have a less "that page was totally made on csp/ps ?
pic related by the way

[Anonymous No.3186028]

>>3186023
I would say the screen tones are too light, need to be dense enough. The lines are too pixelated. increase the dpi i guess. and there's not enough shading, making the bad application of screen tones stand out

[Anonymous No.3186031]

>>3186028
for the lines i pick the wrong export option sorry
but i take note the shading part
What do you think of the frist panel, i like it for my part

[Anonymous No.3186041]

>>3186031
first, looks like you are just using 1 screen tone for everything, its bad. mix and match darker and light screen tones to portray more depth.

the barrels are horrible looking because of the single screen tone type. try to add more details on the barrel, then dont just slab the screen tone there, try to apply it piece by piece. there's no sky box, making the first panel so bland.

the shading is really lacking overall

[Anonymous No.3186124]

>>3168727
Stop having 10 separate panels for a single action, you're not storyboarding for some cheap 2000s Matrix flick, that's mot how manga works
Other than that, you're style is pretty solid, just work on composition and study some good action

[Anonymous No.3186526]

>>3168747
>We wanna be the first westerners to get a series running in Jump.

I'm proud of you anons, hope everything goes well.

[Anonymous No.3186546]

>>3186526
>We wanna be the first westerners to get a series running in Jump.
Why tho? A comic is a comic, manga inspired or not, just make what you like in the country it's most convenient to be in (if even relevant considering you can work online if you're doing your stuff)
Just my thoughts but with all due respect I don't get why making manga in Japan is still a dream passed teenage years, unless you want to live in Japan I guess.

[Anonymous No.3186553]

reminder that there's shinichi sakamoto-tier artists in this compettion rn

>inb4 they pick some shitty sjw comic because "here at jump we care about diversity"

[Anonymous No.3186557]

>>3186553
I don't think they do. Care to show which artists are that good? I've seen a few coreans I think? But even without undertanding it, their comic was static as fuck, like it often happend with highly detailed/realistic stuff. Certainly not something for Jump

[Anonymous No.3186569]

>>3186546
Well, not that anon, but it would be a great fucking accomplishment.
Shonen Jump is a fucking bitch to get through, and the only western artist (Felipe Smith) serialized in Japan only did so because the magazine (Morning Two) they were serialized in was experimental. And even then he got through unnoticed and barely in one piece.

Now, imagine a westerner trying to break into the last frontier that is Shonen Jump.
It would be like trying to kill a fucking bear with your bare knuckles. I mean, it's pretty damn fucking hard, but it's possible, and if it happens it would be the achievement of a goddamn lifetime.

The guy who does this would become a god amongst weebs. And who wouldn't like to rub that achievement into a weeaboo's filthy face?

It's the ultimate fucking challenge.

[Anonymous No.3186617]

>>3186569
I westerner could get into Jump if he was a famous enough comic book artist to have a following in japan. Todd Mcfarlane could probably just call their offices and say he wanted to draw a promotional manga and he'd probably be working on one in like a year.

[Anonymous No.3186662]

>>3186546
Manga pays better, manga gets you more exposure.

Look at the top 50 best selling comic books of all time, over half of them are Shounen Jump, with the likes of One Piece tailing just behind Superman and Batman. Which is even more impressive when you consider that OP has done in two decades what those two have been accumulating since the 1930.

Comics are more niche, and on a decline, while manga are more popular, currently selling MUCH better than comics, and continue to grow and expand into the mai stream.

Publishing a comic, likely won't get you a series or movie, or merch. Getting a manga series in Jump however, will get an anime if you can keep it in the magazine for roughly a year or two.

There are very clear reasons for why a creative might wanna go for manga over comics, there's just a much bigger market with much more opportunity in manga. With comics, the ceiling is much lower, and the low tier pay is totally unsustainable, in most cases, you'd be lucky to PRINT 3000 copies of your book.

Also, you have ZERO interference from SJWs and such in manga, as Japan gives zero fucks about that nonsense.

Yes, there are barriers of entry in that you have to learn the language and culture, as well as the nuances that separate manga from comics, and in that it's much more competitive than comics, but the rewards make it all worth it.

It's just a much better industry.

[Anonymous No.3186666]

>>3186553
>Japan
>ever giving a fuck about SJW shit
Didn't you hear their reply to the feminazis at the UN trying to get them to buckle down on sexual violence in their media?

They basically told them to fuck off.

As far as the art goes though, it's less important than story or composition. Sakamoto tier art means fuck all as that level of art is unsustainable for a weekly magazine.

Look at Hunter x Hunter and then tell me with a straight face the Jump cares about art.

[Anonymous No.3186668]

>>3186553
oh god no

>inb4 some 5 year old wins because cancer

[Anonymous No.3186686]

>>3186617
Yeah there are lots of occidental good artists that like manga but Japan is also a very closed market I believe

>>3186666
>Sakamoto tier art means fuck all as that level of art is unsustainable for a weekly magazine.

This but also in Japan and comics in general besides super heroes (and maybe even that nowadays, I kinda stop reading comics some years ago), appeal and storytelling > fundamentals

[Anonymous No.3186699]

>>3186686
They follow the fundamentals, but the fundamentals of comics, not art. Perspective is more important, and still less so than composition. Anatomy and lighting are nice, but not necessarily jn the slightest.

The role of art in comics is to communicate to the reader with CLARITY. In that sense, the bare minimum in terms of fundies is good enough. On the contrary, a unique, appealing, and identifiable style is far more important than the skillset you'd need for concept art or illustration.

In place of the art fundies, stuff like paneling, framing, composition, transitions, as well as the structural fundies of storytelling all take the spotlight.

Comic-making is its own art form.

[Anonymous No.3186737]

>>3172705
>>3172694
>>/int/

[Anonymous No.3187926]

>>3186553
>reminder that there's shinichi sakamoto-tier artists in this compettion rn
There is?

Post links.

[Anonymous No.3187997]

>>3168954
goddamn, I love Kaiji

[Anonymous No.3189059]

bump

[Anonymous No.3189526]

>>3186553
>shinichi sakamoto-tier artists
That don't mean shit unless the concept and story are also engaging. By reading the editor critiques of last year's runner-ups and finalists, they're obviously more interested in story telling and unique concepts. The winner of last year (there was no first place winner but he got placed above everyone else) was a complete amateur compared to the runner ups and his submission was his first and only one-shot.
>m-muh sakamoto artists are also entering
Who cares, if you were really passionate about sharing stories with the world you would enter anyway no matter the odds.

[Anonymous No.3191185]

This was a good thread. Don't let it die just yet!

[Anonymous No.3191436]

>>3191185
It is but worst case scenario we can usre the comic thread and make new ones. I wish I could post my storyboards but I'm so shit and depressive that I'd probably get some "kill urself" answers that would destroy me.

[Anonymous No.3191451]

>>3191436
I know, but there's good info here that I keep reading through as I work on things, and I wanna keep it away from from the archive as long as possible, as things only stay in the archive for so long as well.

[Anonymous No.3191540]

>>3191185
to be frank, I kinda losing my drive to cheer for and help other people in this thread.

some guys dont want to post their work since its "too shit" and theyre scared. some of the guys post only one page then run off, which is really not a good point for me to evaluate and point out the stuff that can be improved.

and there's the team who want to make an e-sports manga. theyre almost like Great Tenko tier ego. it almost remind me of the artist i used to work with.

So, I can only help and cheer for the artists if they post their work.

[Anonymous No.3191599]

>>3172522
not rly, i find that the long webcomic strips make the story flow fundamentaly quite differently from manga.

[Anonymous No.3191716]

>>3191540
I'm the guy that posted the eSports manga.

I spent the last two weeks following the advice given to me ITT. I read both Scott McCloud books, took notes on them, read Will Eisner's book on comics, read through all of Bakuman, read the Atelier Manga and took notes on the layouts, saved a couple I liked, watched all the SMAC videos, and repanelled the entire Name from start to finish. It's all done, all 54 pages. Now I'm going through it at a pace of roughly two page a day, inked, toned, etc...

I'd like to post it for evaluation, but part of me is also a bit cautious about sharing the unfinished name on here. If there's a way to contact you privately, I'd be more than down.

[Anonymous No.3191902]

>>3191540
>some guys dont want to post their work since its "too shit" and theyre scared.
Yeah that was me. Sorry I know it's frustrating but you see those really bad stuff on the beginner thread? That's kinda me. So the only thing you can say is "it's shit, learn fundamentals". Not very constructive for you or me. I might post my finished pages but since I'm still at the name it's too messy.

[Anonymous No.3191985]

Teams, collaborative efforts, people burning through books in preperation for a new life in Japan.
I just hope some literal who from a country no-one's even considered swoops in and takes the first place spot from underneath everyone's nose, lol.

[Anonymous No.3191986]

>>3191902
this won the second prize last year. Its fucking obvious that they dont care about the art. its all about the readability, panelling and flow of the manga. and thats what i am going to point out what things you could improve upon. even a chicken scratch xerox nigger rough draft of a name would suffice, since its a MANGA contest, not a drawing contest.

don't go like that esports manga guy, thats like, here's my cover art, wait the MC's silhouette is poor. Nope, i'm doing the name now.Ok, can you at least post the comic 2 pages side by side so we can look at it, nope, I am inking and toning it now.

[Anonymous No.3192032]

>>3191986
eSports manga guy here. This >>3183707
is not mine. Pic related is my cover.

Though the PS4 top part and CERO logo are obviously placeholders.

I'm considering uploading the name to imgur in a private folder and posting that here for feedback. I think that'd be the best, then I can delete it after a couple days.

[Anonymous No.3192050]

>>3191986
>>3192032
Fuck it, here it is.

Only sharing the first half though. I reckon anything I learn from getting this feedback I can apply to the second half. Plus, I don't wanna give away the ending/show my hand just yet. Especially since the emotional peak/best part is in the second half. I think this works well as a teaser/preview of things, while also giving you enough to evaluate.

Cheers!

[Anonymous No.3192051]

>>3192050
Whoop, forgot link:

https://imgur.com/a/K4cs9

[Anonymous No.3192053]

>>3191986
This cover is leagues better than something like >>3192032

You were right that
>its all about the readability, panelling and flow of the manga.
and to add to that - style. Success is much more often about making the RIGHT work, rather than the best work. >>3191986 is a lot more approachable and appealing than some try-hard "badass" bullshit.

[Anonymous No.3192056]

>>3192053
Different covers for different purposes. Obviously an emotional story about a boy and his robot needs a less intense cover than one about a videogame competition.

[Anonymous No.3192062]

>>3192053
>Success is much more often about making the RIGHT work, rather than the best work. >>3191986 # is a lot more approachable and appealing than some try-hard "badass" bullshit.
Except Shounen Jump is made up of mostly high appeal, "badass" stuff. The most successful genre of manga on the magazine is the battle manga. You're right about needing the right stuff over good stuff. But in the case of Jump, "the right stuff" is more along the lines of a battle manga over a niche emotional story. Themes about competition, rivalry, overcoming impossible obstacles, and striving to be the best are what Jump is all about, and more likely to sit well with the editors and readers over a niche or edgy story.

Know your audience. If you're gonna make a manga for Jump, you'll find easier success by aligning with Jump's core values.

[Anonymous No.3192063]

>>3192050
My face when reading the comic. i don't know what they're saying

I would say, its harder to read now than before because of the dark values and screen tones.

thats why i say, draw a rough sketch name first.

[Anonymous No.3192067]

>>3192063
I mean, this is my face.

[Anonymous No.3192074]

>>3192050
>>3192051
>>3192053
the cover reminds me of Cliff Blezinski or Randy Pitchford brand of "bad-ass"

>>3192032
try to do this this style. its a super quick sketch.
but this style of stand-off is remeniscent of 80s kick-ass hongkong martial arts and wuxia films

[Anonymous No.3192079]

>>3192074
Sure, I'll give it a shot later. Cover is subject to change, and a wuxia-themed cover works well with the game's Chinese-hell themed aesthetic.

I could even add boxes on opposite sides for some of the other characters.

Original cover was going for a Guilty Gear vibe, but I like this one too.

[Anonymous No.3192089]

>>3192079
as for the story, since I haven't seen all the pages, I won't comment on every single thing, but I can smell a whiff on where the story is going. but the intro scene is really really horrible.

I would like to know if you are familiar with the Hero's Journey or Fool's Journey.

[Anonymous No.3192105]

>>3192089
Yeah, I'm familiar with the Hero's Journey and Campbell's essay.

What's wrong with the intro scene btw? The story introduces the main characters, sets the stage, sets the stakes, and even gives room for Character development to take place on such a narrow page count, which is fucking difficult to do. For 54 page pilot/one shot, I'd say that's solid. I've not seen other pilots accomplish this, including ones from published and successful manga like Naruto, Bleach, etc...

[Anonymous No.3192213]

>>3192051
>>3192050
Looks awesome!

This is a surefire win. It looks much better than the stuff currently running in Jump. I can't wait to read the finished version.

Do your best anon, I'm rooting for you!

[Anonymous No.3192570]

>>3192051
Do you have character sheets/charadesign?

[Anonymous No.3192614]

>>3192050
>>3192105
basically, I know what you are doing by the second page. but exposition is not a good way to show the setting and story.

the story isn't organically unfolding that way. the reader would have been better off reading a novel.

thats why its very common for the types of story you are trying to do have an idiot for frame of reference, as a stand-in for the reader.
like tidus, who was an enormous idiot in ffx, because he's the stand in for the audience. Just like the Priestess here, who is being explained with Adventurers, Ranks and You by the guild girl.

just looking at the second page, I may not know the exact text, but I know that i am being info dumped text about the video game e-sports is famous and i should care about it. and with that, i am already lost by the second page, and makes its really really hard to sit through

[Anonymous No.3192625]

>>3192614
I get what you're saying, but there actually isn't an exposition dump in the second page.

It's actually more characterized text in the form of the announcers. The two of them play off each other as a sort of dummy/sage role as well, which we've also used for the sake of characterising the two announcers, and bringing humor to through them.

In this sense, the story does unfold organically as announcers/shoutcasters are a thing in this setting, and the two are articulating things as two announcers would. There is no narrator, or anyone to just DUMP things on the reader. We were very wary of that fact, and intentionally used the announcers and the coach as vessels to tell the story for the exact same reasons you're mentioning.

The two announcers introducing the players as they enter the ring later on as well is much less exposition dump, and more characterization. Especially since we went out of our way to make them funny rather than just blank slates. Like, in the beginning, the two are introducing the reader into the setting, same way they would an audience. In this way, it very much is organic.

>>3192570
Yes I do actually.

[Anonymous No.3192636]

>>3192614
>>3192625
Like, the story isn't about the fight, or the outcome of it really. It's about the two champions, their motives for being there, and Kyle's journey to where he is. All told through interspliced flashbacks. The peak of the characters is the collision between the emotional peak of the fight and the emotional peak of Kyle's journey.

The opening bits are more flavor than anything. You don't really need to know any of what's being said as the majority is being conveyed visually anyway, Kyle being the underdog and choking under pressure, Ryu being a godly player, etc...

The text only there to reinforce that, and characterize the announcers

This is a character driven story, so none of the PLOT events really matter all that much. The struggle is internal. The peaks abd twists come in revelation of character. You'll see once it's finished and can read the whole thing fully.

I appreciate the feedback on story, but that's honestly the one thing we have fully on lockdown.

>>3192570
Here, have another btw.

[Anonymous No.3192642]

>>3192625
That makes it even worse then. I have to sit through two unimportant guys for the plot wasting my time, doing bantz.

also, don't point at fighting gamers like "they're doing the same thing I am doing"

They actually made Daigo's life (who has one of the most interesting progamer, but I still maintain Hayao was the better SF3 player) into a boring manga.

[Anonymous No.3192659]

>>3192642
Anon, don't worry about it. You'll see once you read it. You need to let things build up so they have proper pacing and scale. You just can't jump straight into the meat of a story like that or it comes off as rushed. The story is what I'm most confident in, and I'm not the one who wrote it.

Also yeah, Fighting Gamers was pretty boring. I've read it twice, but mostly for analysis/paneling/etc... As a manga, it's fairly uninteresting. I guess that's one of the major strengths TS has over it too. For one, as a Shounen is has a lot more room to be more emotional and dramatic, and second, it's very character driven.

Anyway, I just wanna get the pilot done already. I'm confident many people are really gonna like it. Chapter 1 is even better too, as you're starting at the very bottom of things with a much more likeable cast of characters that play off each other very well.

[Anonymous No.3192664]

>>3192636
I know what you are trying to do, every aspiring manga artist i come across is very big on in-media-res. but you are, in your own words, doing a character driven story.

I am sure by page 6 or so, the main characters are just introduced, but by no means established. it doesn't answer the basic questions, "who are these people?", what the fuck is going on?", "why should I care?"

and if you are doing a character driven story, why the hell you are wasting pages doing "bad-ass" action. even fighting gamers make the fighting short.

[Anonymous No.3192690]

>>3192664
>"who are these people?", what the fuck is going on?", "why should I care?"
That's literally what the story is about.

Anon, I could sit here and argue about why we're executing a story you haven't read the way we are, or I could just wait and let you read it when it's finished.

At the end of the day, when it comes to story, I've already said, I'm working with a writer who's won awards and has written hundreds of stories. He isn't some rookie, he knows what he's doing. And I've obviously read the whole thing already. It's great, probably the best way you could write a story like this.

It really comes down to me being able to execute it well in terms of art and panelling. As far as story goes, if story alone was all they were judging, it'd be a no contest victory. We're not just aiming to win, we're aiming to wow the editors so they give us a chance to run a series on their weekly magazine. We're delivering basically the exact kind of concept SJ has been looking for (a highly marketable atypical battle manga), in the best possible way it could be executed, and are making sure to use the one shot as a pilot to showcase the potential within this kind of series, all the while delivering a self-contained story that hits all the right beats.

Once it all comes together, you'll see.

As for why we have "badass fights"... anon, it's a shounen. This concept thrives on being the best of both worlds, a grounded sports manga with relatable realistic characters, with ridiculously over the top battle manga fights. The fights are the superficial appeal. The characters however, are the core of the story, and what people will stick around for. Fighting Gamers is a Seinen, and it plays off like a documentary made for fighting game fans. TS is a completely different thing in that sense.

I said it a long time ago, you're better off comparing this to Slam Dunk than anything else, really.

[Anonymous No.3192737]

>last couple of months I've been pretty confident in my ability to draw while still working towards getting better
>start drawing for my submission
>nothing is coming together the way I want it to

[Anonymous No.3192909]

>>3192625
>>3192636
>>3192659
>>3192625
>>3192636
>>3192659
Suge
Wish you the best
As far as I know the only other contestant I'd really root for would be Naf (Dracula's return)
There are a bit of nice looking ones in other languages too but it's hard to say if they have a good story.
The rest is mostly only preteen chunibyou, some nice drawings but not suited to Jump, and some talented copycats that don't feel fresh at all.
But I didn't checked for like 2 weeks, I'm going to take a look at new entries.

By the way the only thing that really bothers me so far on your pages is the Snake looking guy on the right page here
>>3192050
For some reason it doesn't go well with the rest. Too..flat? I don't know. Maybe try new angle or change the distance of the shot? Or maybe it's just the way the arm's cut that bothers me. You could either include it in the panel or make it go outside the panel I suppose (Don't necessarily listen to me, I suck)

[Anonymous No.3192974]

>>3192909
Thanks!

I've only gotta do my best.

You're right about it feeling flat btw. It's the screentones taking away from the contrast, combined with the lack of hatching. I noticed this too, and went on to compare it to other manga to see what was wrong. Basically, battle manga tend to be light on the use of screentones and allow large amounts of pure white to come through to allow for heavy contrast so that characters pop out more. Screentones seem to be mostly there to add a bit of effect, but overdoing it definitely washes out the image and just sort of bleeds stuff together.

So I'm gonna be playing around with it some more in order to perfect the style.

[Anonymous No.3193290]

>>3192974
Now that's you're saying it, that screentone part is definititly a thing.But for this panel I also really feel like the rest of what I said matter. That might just be me tho.

[Anonymous No.3193292]

>>3171220
>>3171239
Late, but I'd go with Anime Ace 2.0

[Anonymous No.3193994]

Wait so is it december or january when it's due in?

[Anonymous No.3194002]

>>3193994
Dec 28 for Kodansha, Jan 5 for Shueshia, Spring 2018 for the results.

[Anonymous No.3194412]

>>3168747
>>3186526
>serialization
Wait is it a simple one shot published or is it actually a full blown serialization. My story might completely change depending on the answer...

[Anonymous No.3194423]

>>3194412
The reward is only getting your one-shot published(and money). There is no way they would straight up give anyone a serialization only based on a one-shot.

[Anonymous No.3194479]

>>3194423
If you're good enough and know Nip I'm sure they'll give you a shot. After all Jump Rookie accepts worldwide submissions so long as they're in Japanese.

[Anonymous No.3194792]

>>3194423
If your oneshot is published in SJ does that mean handing over the rights of the IP? Because I want to continue working on mine anyway regardless of whether that happens or not.

[Anonymous No.3194975]

>>3194479
What I mean is that no matter what, you will still have to get in contact with an jump editor and make a storyboard with him, which will then be up for consideration at the next serialization meeting.
However, if your one-shot won a competition and it got positive reader feedback after being published, it will give your chances a massive boost.

>>3194792
Always read the terms and conditions.If it doesn't say anywhere that you give them your IP, then they won't have it. But don't think they care about your IP until actual serialization.