MUH COMIKKU!

[Anonymous No.1866903]

First five pages of it... destroy me I can take it.

[Anonymous No.1866908]

>>1866903
page2

[Anonymous No.1866910]

>>1866908
page3

[Anonymous No.1866911]

>>1866910
page4

[Anonymous No.1866915]

>>1866911
page5

[Anonymous No.1866949]

>>1866908
weapons arent advertised like that at all.
even in murica

[Anonymous No.1866974]

First few pages look like a Claymore x KLK crossover with Mugi in it.

Apart from the story so far looking like the most generic animu ever, it's pretty nice. The figures show that you still have a lot of room for improvement, but the simplicity of the art style hides it well and makes it look appealing enough.

If this was a webcomic, I'd say it looks definitely above average but if I were to compare it to professional work, then you have plenty of areas to work on. For example, your panels aren't dynamic enough and lack decent action poses and more interesting perspective shots. All the fighting is done very zoomed out and static, which is just unengaging. Now granted, the fighting is just one page, so no idea if this is a consistent problem or if that just happens to be one of your weaker pages, but considering the story looks like it is going to have a lot of battle scenes in it, that's probably something you should work on either way.

[Anonymous No.1867003]

>>1866974
>Claymore x KLK with Mugi in it
Not sure about Claymore but yeah
>most generic animu
I want to eventually poke fun at the fact, like something that is 'self-referential' or so
>need more loomis
>above average
Thank you, yeah I need to improve a lot but I felt that I needed to start somewhere... you don't git gud and then draw, you git gud while you are at it
>fight scenes
definitely my weaker pages, which is awful considering there's supposed to be a lot of fighting in this
Thanks for the critique guys.

You guys think I can use this as porfolio? Like for applying for colorist at and indie comic publisher?

[Anonymous No.1867009]

>>1866903
that a pretty good first page, it read well and the important informations are transmitted. I have three critics tough :

in the first image the squiggly lines on the cliff make the picture a bit dirty and amateurish. also I think the red cliff clash a bit with chromatic tone of the rest of the page.

the main guy (choi, is it?) have weird line on the shin. now I get that supposed to represent a beard, but it look pretty bad on close up. only use spot on close up, I think it will look better.

finally, that just me, but I think you could be a bit more ambitious on your backgrounds. I mean, it work, but a more detailed view of the city could give or hint at a lot of interesting information. you do have a good sense for scene composition, tough.

>>1866908
pretty good page, so I will nitpick:
second image: I'm not sure what is looking at by the windows.
the center picture: the squiggly line again on the screen. try to have cleaner letters on the ensign.

the fourth picture: the anatomy is a bit wonky, and the pose not too impressive. if that an advertisement, it should be over the top in my opinion.

the bottom: not sure why you added a frame on the left. the silhouette detaching itself on the door and the red stair should be enough to make the picture read the same.

[Anonymous No.1867018]

A lot of your panels have way too much empty space and the environments look boring.

Get someone to edit your writing too.

[Anonymous No.1867026]

>>1867009
cont.
>>1866910
pretty good page, the fact that park is leaving could be made a bit more clear, I feel.

>>1866911
the monster first appearance could be more impressive. the animu expression are not really convincing on panel 2, they feel quite amateurish. perhaps we could have a look at the whole crew.

>>1866915
the battle is a bit static, I think you the way you choose the shape of the pannel (especially central one) could be more dynamic. I'm not sure if the girl is touched on the second bottom panel. also I think we should see the ship first and then the doctor. your sound affect could be a bit more violent too.

overall as I said it's quite good, but the setting seems quite generic. you seem to have a good handling on color an lighting (I especially commend your use of color for the bleed) but your drawing is still lacking a bit (I noticed that you tend to make leg a bit short by the way)

I agree with other, for a webcomic, the quality could work (although I'm not sure for the story, battle scene are particularly tedious when you have to wait a day between each page). you could use this as portfolio for colouring I guess, but make sure you have other piece that show that you can do other thing that cell shading.

[Anonymous No.1867028]

>>1867018
And yeah, good job just doing this. A lot of people make the mistake of "I wont do anything until I'm good". Keep up the good work.

[Anonymous No.1867032]

>>1866903
Backgrounds could use a little more detail, first half of page 3 especially.

Dialogue feels a little awkward, perhaps it's the absence of periods. Also dialogue scenes should be a bit more dynamic, try experimenting with closeups and different perspectives.

Combat needs to be a little flashier, the downward hammer swing on page 5 for instance. Try adding flying particles.

Movement in general needs to be better expressed, especially during action sequences. Take a look at the airborne character on page 5.

I like the camera effects you did on page 3's final panel, you could have done something similar with the TV panels in the first few pages.

Overall the artstyle is really unique and likeable, and like someone else said, helps hide your flaws. Use it to your advantage. Don't use it as an excuse to not improve on your flaws, however.

[Anonymous No.1867044]

>>1867028
This is exactly the mentality I have at the moment unfortunately.. What exactly is bad about it?

[Anonymous No.1867065]

>>1867044
are you replying for me?

[Anonymous No.1867070]

>>1867032
>likeable
>hide flaws
>use it to your adventage
Thanks, like Jack Kirby.
>don't fall into the 'muh style' pit
won't do, I'll look up for figure drawing workshops on my town

[Anonymous No.1867075]

Nice stuff. Like others said, it's a bit spacious, so watch out for making it too wide. I like your style though, where can I find your comic's site / your tumblr?

[Anonymous No.1867118]

>>1867075
tumblr, danielcrawley
Haven't post the comics yet, I'm almost done so I'll post them this week.

[Anonymous No.1867185]

>>1867118
everything you do is super sexy ;)

[Anonymous No.1867206]

>>1867185
god damn people on this board are so fucking horny baby!

[Anonymous No.1867210]

>>1867206
look at some more background ref and were all good babe ;0 <3

[Anonymous No.1867225]

>>1867210
So we can have sex? Cool where at? I live by a walmart maybe we can fuck in the bathroom!!!!!!

[Anonymous No.1867254]

>>1867225
maybe r u a cutie?

[Anonymous No.1867267]

I follow you're work on tumblr (I'm feelthefigure) and I have to say you've imporved a lot, and you have a lot of potential Dan.