/ic/ - Artwork/Critique

[Anonymous No.1678879]

This is less of an artwork critique thread, and more of a character design critique thread. If this is the wrong place for me to post this thread, please tell me where I should go for character design critique.

This is the character design for the main character of an upcoming hack-and-slash game. I work for the guy who is bankrolling this game. He loves this character design, but I think it's awful. I keep trying to convince him that we should re-design the character, but he won't listen to me.

I'm going to make an attempt to save our game. Please, tell me what you think of this character design. And, if you think it sucks, tell me how you would improve it. If some of you guys can write a really compelling argument for why this design sucks and why it should be changed, maybe I can change my boss' mind.

If you'd like to, open up photoshop and crudely draw a new outfit on her. Even that would help.

[Anonymous No.1678882]

If part of your marketing plan for the game is to sell sex to your audience I don't see what's wrong with this design other than some proportion issues (legs too long compared to the body).

You'll get the edgy teen crowd with this for sure.

[Anonymous No.1678885]

>>1678879

give her a robe and hooded cape and cover her skin up with some sort of leather armor

As it is she's bloodrayne with a beamscythe

[Anonymous No.1678888]

>>1678885
>Bloodrayne with a beamscythe
exactly what I was thinking, looks like a rip off, but that game sucked so maybe you can do better

[Anonymous No.1679006]

>>1678885
>As it is she's bloodrayne with a beamscythe
This. And even the beamscythe looks like it was ripped right from Gundam Wing.

Honestly the whole thing looks 2edgy4u to me, with the skulls and scythe and heavy red/black color scheme. I think it's terribly generic and uninspired, and would not buy something with her on it.

[Anonymous No.1679011]

>>1678879
Generic half lewd edgy woman/10

[Anonymous No.1679012]

I'm going to give it try

[Anonymous No.1679024]

>>1678879
I wanna put my dick in her.
Does that count as videogames?

[Anonymous No.1679055]

>>1678879
she reminds me of a sexy version of the red chick from rwby and the main chick from KLK put together in a corset
tell him that unless its going to be a hellishly cheap game, hes going to miss a lot of profit, because theres a portion of gamers that wont drop more than a 30 for a generic, bash em up, sexy girl game. If you have a story that can save it, it might not matter *as much* but it could still put a dent in profits.
But to be honest, as long as the guy is paying you to do what he wants for the game hes paying to make, id say just leave it at that and move on to the next guy who will want your talents

[Anonymous No.1679079]

>>1678879
If you want to be SEXY BUSTY WOMAN HACKING AND SLASHING THROUGH DEMONS then its fine
Personally I hate the corset and mini skirt and boots. Mainly the boots, since you have the form of the character getting smaller at the bottom in a very feminine way, and then its interrupted with big blocky boots.
The chest garment could probably be more solid in front, but more revealing in the back. Right now it just looks like its about to come off by just popping off, instead of the character taking it off themselves. Having it strapped in the back implies that the character has more control of her clothing, so any sexy things it does feel more focused instead of just accidental nipslips. Its also a more subtle sexy than just CHEST.
Maybe bike shorts instead of a mini skirt? It would be more "athletic" than a tight skirt
Also black isn't the best color for a character, since they get lost a lot in the action. I felt that ninja gaiden and the arkham games had this problem, while bayonetta avoided this by making enemies very bright colors.
Pic is a equally stupid character design, but it works better because of the colors that mesh with other designs within the game. But combat heels are always dumb, except for bayonetta.

[Anonymous No.1679090]

Sucks, generic as other people here have said.

List o' cliches:

-Energy scythe (been there, done that): unappealing, blade does not look utilitarian at all. Design it differently (for example, add a grip maybe?)
-Legs are way too large compared to body, will turn off many gamers. Shrink them and put more emphasis on the boots and the torso. Most people tend to look at the midbody first before going to the legs if you want a pin-up sort of look.
-More ornamentation can help? Provided you add it tastefully, of course. It will definitely help make your character more distinctive when it comes to marketing.
-Lack of a theme. Is she a vampire, for instance, or a goth/biker chick? Make the theme obvious and a central part of the design, plus focus on aspects people normally don't focus on.
-Costume is pretty much cut and paste, not a lot of detail. Only the boots look unique. Fishnet stockings, short skirt, corset, opera gloves...they all look like something out of a costume shop, which is not the look you should go for. Try to have them fit together, to look like something people can conceivably wear if they want to go fight a billion mooks and look half-naked while doing it
-The pose is also pretty empty, it tells nothing about the character. Try something more dynamic, something that establishes character more.
-Color scheme...red, black, and pale white can look good, if you have more variation in the shades you use for them. Try experimenting with different hues of the scheme you have.

Don't really have the time to draw a new costume, more information needed on the game to form a proper concept of what you want and need.

[Anonymous No.1679099]

>>1679095

[Anonymous No.1679095]

I hacked some stuff for fun. Not much can be done without details on the setting and her character.

OP, if you want to change your boss' mind first you need him to open up rather than criticizing.

Ask him,
>"If we could put alternative outfits, what else would you like?"
Then you get more concepts based on that and let him find them on his own. Then he most likely will change mind because he "decided" by himself.

[Anonymous No.1679096]

>>1678879
I'll go write a more detailed argument for you when I'm finished with my own affaris.

[Anonymous No.1679100]

>>1679099

[Anonymous No.1679102]

>>1679100

[Anonymous No.1679104]

>>1679102

[Anonymous No.1679111]

Wow - thanks to the anon who posted all of the alternate outfits.

There are some good ideas here. I like some of the subtle changes that give her a more distinct / memorable silhouette without actually changing the whole character (for example, the way that the boots are changed in version 5).

I like the longer hair in version 2, the overall look of version 3, and the changes to the face in version 5. The overall look of version 5 looks very cool. Version 1 is a quick way to de-slut the whole outfit without drastically changing the whole design.

Thanks a lot, anon. If anyone else wants to provide some more critique or modifications, please go right ahead.

[Anonymous No.1679113]

>>1678879
boring, if he's paying you ahead then do what he says, but if your in an investment situation (ie you make 10% etc) then try to convincw gim.

[VC No.1679125]

Hi OP,

you're absolutely right about the design. It is very generic and bland.

It would be great to know more about the final style of the game, but lacking that I will try to give some general tips.

A good character design is all about visual communication.

- There is nothing in the design that tells me anything about the character. Yes, she wears an outfit straight out of a cheap wholesalers catalogue, but what is her background story, her identity? There is nothing that tells me about her person.

- There is nothing of visual interest. Yes, close up I'm staring at her boobs, but when I see her whole body there is nothing to guide my eyes toward them. It would be nice if the costume design adds clear visual cues to what I'm supposed to be paying attention to. If that must be her boobs, so be it. Likewise, any distracting elements should be removed or toned down. You can have the detail and texture of course, but in subtle tones.

- Her silhouette is very plain. It would be good to break it up by adding some interesting shapes. also, since she'll be moving a lot, some dynamic elements like a long flowing scarf, sleeves or something of that kind will make it more dynamic.

- The colour palette is incredibly simple. Black, a bit of red and pink skin. not that they are bad colours but they are not used as effectively as they could. The red could be perfect punchy accents, but there are only a few dark spots of them. Even on her boobs, where the red could draw the attention, it is very dark and unobtrusive.

Basically I put into words what the other anon already painted :-)

[Anonymous No.1679133]

>>1679125

In her backstory, her parents were not paying any attention to her during her teen years, so she started dressing in outrageous fashions and dying her hair crazy colors to get their attention. It became a part of her identity, so even after she moved out of her parents' house, she kept a little bit of color in her hair and wears some goth fashion from time to time.

Although this particular outfit she's wearing is because she idolizes comic book heroines and video game femme fatales, and wants to dress up like one. So when she is acting as her "alter ego", she wears the kind of cliche outfit that a stereotypical comic book heroine or video game heroine would wear, with a "goth" twist.

I agree that there's nothing of visual interest (other than the scythe). I agree that the silhouette is EXTREMELY plain.

Unfortunately, our programmer has not been able to get cloth physics working in our game engine, so our character designs are currently limited to outfits with no flowing cloth or dangling accessories.

Good point about the color palette, I don't think I had considered that the red was too dark.

[Anonymous No.1679143]

>>1679133
>Unfortunately, our programmer has not been able to get cloth physics working in our game engine, so our character designs are currently limited to outfits with no flowing cloth or dangling accessories.
Can't you rig the dress along with the model and animate it manually? I think that very few AAA games use cloth simulation for characters.

[VC No.1679147]

>>1679133

Well, reading her backstory, I think you could draw some inspiration from films like kick-ass.

What would a teenage girl who loves comics think? What would inspire her and be her influences?

For the sake of our design, we should focus on visual elements. As an example, she would be fantasizing about a cool super-hero name. Based on that, she might design some logo or symbolic item she might sew on her costume. Perhaps she would wear something to obscure her identity when on a mission.

Who knows. Maybe she had a teddy bear that was her side-kick and she's carrying it around attached to her belt, all damaged and torn and stitched together. A far-out example, I agree, but silly things like that will help to think outside of the box and come up with something original.

[Anonymous No.1679150]

>>1679147

Actually, that's not a bad idea. After she obtains super-powers at the beginning of the game, it's reasonable to say that she would want to make up a cool super-hero identity for herself, so she could live out the alter-ego persona that she's always dreamed of.

I'll have to consider what it would be, though. The character's name (Luna) references the moon. She's obsessed with justice. Lunar Justice? White crescents all over the outfit? Hairstyle that has crescent curves in it? Hmm.

[Anonymous No.1679154]

The thing that bothers me the most about this character is that she reminds me of every generic goth girl character ever. Especially the hair. The purple strip in it doesn't really match the color scheme.

[Anonymous No.1679155]

[Anonymous No.1679156]

>>1679154
I think it worked since it's different from every other lego design, so it stands out more

[Anonymous No.1679157]

>>1679156

In the lego movie I think its fine, I'm just saying that OPs character looks a lot like it.

[Anonymous No.1679160]

>>1679157
Ah right, thought this had become a character design general

[Anonymous No.1679173]

I'm not saying this is better or anything but I wanted to take a shot at it

[Anonymous No.1679223]

>>1679133
>In her backstory, her parents were not paying any attention to her during her teen years, so she started dressing in outrageous fashions and dying her hair crazy colors to get their attention. It became a part of her identity, so even after she moved out of her parents' house, she kept a little bit of color in her hair and wears some goth fashion from time to time.

If this "backsroty" is actually a part of your vidya game you done fucked up, no one cares.

[Anonymous No.1679240]

>>1678879
Energy scythe is cliche as fuck.
Either make it double ended for increased EDGE, or ditch it entirely.

The scythe looks technological, yet the outfit is plain ol goth fashion.
Put some bells and whistles on it, like jets on her boots, skinsuit, battery pack belt, I dunno.

As it is right now its 100% edge, 0% plausibility or memorability.

[Anonymous No.1679242]

>>1679147
That background is shit.

And regarding clothing physics, skinsuit m8.

[Anonymous No.1679347]

>>1679173
This one OP. It looks way more vidya.

[Anonymous No.1679348]

>>1678879
Design looks fine. Rather generic hot/goth type though.

>>1678882
>legs too long compared to body
If she's doing any kicking in the game, that's likely intentional.

>>1679055
>rwby
>klk
What? I don't see it at all.

>>1679079
>black gets lost in action
Agreed, but that depends on the type of game, and the glowy scythe will likely be enough.

>>1679100
This one is good.

>>1679125
Eh I call bullshit. What makes a 'good' character design is them having at least one memorable/unique feature. And the level of 'uniqueness' depends on the type of game. If it's not heavy character driven (which is true with most hack n' slash), generic but well done is usually the best way to go.

>>1679133
Wow, that back story is terrible.

>>1679143
Yes you can, and usually do as far as I know.

[Anonymous No.1679386]

>>1679348

The backstory goes a lot deeper than that; why her parents were ignoring her, why she had to resort to fashion and hair to get their attention. I just didn't want to spoil the game.

[Anonymous No.1679873]

>>1679173

Hey buddy, just so you know, I showed eight different re-designs to a whole bunch of people, and the overwhelming majority said that yours was the best one.

[Anonymous No.1680072]

>>1679873
that's because your redesigns are garbage. Learn to concept. I mean, look at number 7, what the fuck man? It seems like you didnt even try to take it in another direction besides "slightly more gothic, but not by much...like 5% more gothic"

There's a reason his is the best.

[Anonymous No.1680095]

>>1679133
Sounds like a bad Sonic fanfiction.

[Anonymous No.1680135]

>>1680095
>Rubyn
Oh my fuck

[Anonymous No.1680155]

>>1680095
>smokin' oregano

[shy No.1680170]

>>1679173
Wonderful! Finally no fucking corset.

[Anonymous No.1680416]

>>1679173
I feel like this looks much less superhero-ish, and that top is pretty hideous.

[Anonymous No.1680436]

>>1679173
Best one.

[Anonymous No.1680453]

Do you have the concept pose without clothes or hair? You could get the community to come up with a few good ideas.

Like someone said, make her wear something skin tight since the whole cloth physics isnt working for now. Something like a latex or leather suit. Also, if you are going for superheroine, a mask or something to cover part of her face might also be good to have, or a visor. Its more of a preference thing but I really hate superheroes that don't really have anything covering their faces yet no one knows who they are

[Anonymous No.1680455]

>>1680453
This is the best one by far

OP should do something else, something more unique, with the girl's hair though.

[Anonymous No.1680462]

>>1680453 here

For some reason this came to mind. You could incorporate something similar to the pic to the designs of her costume.

[Anonymous No.1680533]

>>1680453
I don't know a whole lot, but perhaps we can put a little green somewhere to either complement the red or to expand the color palette.

My gut tells me it could use a little more color. Anyone think the same?

[Anonymous No.1680576]

>>1680533
Even though I agree that the color palette is a bit limited, there are 2 main things that come into play. The first one is that she is a superhero and for the most part superheroes or superhero costumes usually have a limited palette. The second one is that goth/emo colors usually consist of black and at most 1 other accent color, usually pink, red or blue.

[Anonymous No.1680603]

>>1680453

OP here, I really like this.

>>1680576

Getting rid of the black+red color scheme helps; it makes her less "I'm so edgy and goth and dark", which seems to really repulse a lot of people.

[Anonymous No.1680620]

>>1680576
More of a "I wanna be the super hero" vibe here than before

[Anonymous No.1680621]

>>1680620

I actually don't mind that.

This girl is an otaku who is obsessed with video games and idolizes game protagonists and wants to act out the fantasy of actually becoming a video game character.

Before, I had her dress up like a typical game character, but now I'm considering a "wannabe superhero" angle instead.

[Anonymous No.1680676]

>>1680621
I'm not by my PC at the moment, but try on different masks and outfits. After a few days and you made a ton on them, pick eight of the best and show them to your boss as "alternate costumes" like how another anon said.

[Anonymous No.1680749]

First off, this is just based off the thread so far. I have no idea what you are really going for regarding the tone of your game so take everything I say with a grain of salt.

>>1680621

If that's the case I think the look of the character undermines that unless she is supposed to be into really gothic brooding animes. The character looks way too emo/goth/punk/death metal.

What comes to my head when I think otaku girl obsessed with videogames and fantasy is either a person that is introverted and shy or someone who is extremely extroverted and, for lack of better term, "bubbly". The first I can sort of see for this design in that it's dark and maybe broody, but it's really hyper sexualized in a way that seems to contradict the introvertedness. For the second it seems confident and outgoing, but the costume seems a bit too grim and broody.

I would suggest something more light hearted. Maybe a pink (only for small details), yellow, and blue colour scheme and a costume that isn't too blatant with sex appeal then again I have no idea what the tone is supposed.

Also remember,
> I work for the guy who is bankrolling this game.
>He loves this character design
If he is paying you are probably going to go with what he wants.

[Anonymous No.1680794]

>>1680749
>If he is paying you are probably going to go with what he wants.

True but chances are that the reason he is paying is because he doesn't know jack about character design or art. He just has a main idea but when it comes to details he probably doesn't know much. Sure he may like that character design but it doesnt mean that he won't be open to other things.

I like the lines, I like the shading and I think the clothes look very nice but as a main character for a game it all looks bland. Nothing really sets her apart from any other standard goth girl other than the Scythe

[Anonymous No.1681436]

>>1680603
If you want to add a bit of a feminine side/change up the texture/fabric you could try adding some lace patterns or frill details, not necessarily of the goth variant. It's just a bit less cliché than fishnets too.

I'd also look into a way to make the scythe look more like it belongs to her, style-wise they just clash.

[Anonymous No.1681444]

>>1681436
You can even incorporate some thematic elements in these patterns, like a symbol or skulls for extra edge.

[Anonymous No.1684585]

>>1678879
this design looks like it would have been ripped straight off a deviantart oc, and the backstory matches. dreadful and pandering
haha wow the girl with the same fixations as a your average target audience teenage boy has a bombshell face&body, likes dressing in as few clothes as possible and has a beautiful feminine name, gosh how original

have you ever met a female okatu? they're as gross and out of shape as the boys

[Anonymous No.1684612]

>>1678882
>legs too long

cannot unsee

[Anonymous No.1684642]

>>1678879
i figured you were going for 'cute goth girl' mainly so i gave it a shot. there are so many types of lovely goth clothes and clothing subcultures other than hot topic brand stuff, and something with a touch of class/old-fashioned charm will appeal to a lot more to a wider range of people. (american mcgee's alice for example)


then i read your other comments.

what is this character's design supposed to convey, and how could you fail more badly? you write that she is a tryhard okatu with aspirations of being a cool superhero with a strong sense of justice. i got literally none of that from the design. i thought that the artist was tryhard, not that the character was tryhard, mostly because video game females are generally that common denominator and designed by males who assume women's clothing hasn't changed since the 90's and is stuck on by magic

[Anonymous No.1684643]

is this going to be genderbent no more heroes

[Anonymous No.1684680]

>>1684585
those are called fujoshis bro

[Anonymous No.1684699]

>>1684680
No, fujoshi are girls who are into BL.

[Anonymous No.1686329]

There's a lot of issues to be had with this character design which have been already stated. However, the biggest one I have is the perpetuation of a scythe being used for combat but its design is still that of the harvesting tool.

A combat scythe doesn't have a blade that protrudes at a raw 90 degree angle from the shaft. If anything it runs at 135 degrees so then it can actually catch an appendage and dismiss it from the remainder of the body.

Albeit from Dark Souls, the image I've submitted is a real combat scythe. Some craftsman would curl the blade toward itself at the tip instead of having it taper back into the block.

In terms of the ordeal involving black and it getting lost in combat: if the combat has movement or speed-blur in its animation then the black makes the strike pathing much more noticeable unless the area is in shade or darkness.

[Anonymous No.1686333]

>>1686329
> However, the biggest one I have is the perpetuation of a scythe being used for combat but its design is still that of the harvesting tool.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RuleOfCool

Remember it is meant to pander to hormonal teenage idiots.

[Anonymous No.1686336]

>>1686329
it's more the icongraphy asociated with death than any relation to an actual 'combat scythe' i would of thought.

anyway i watched a video on it the other week, you might like this guy:

"a point about scythes"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rzQwzg5_mo&list=UU9pgQfOXRsp4UKrI8q0zjXQ

[Anonymous No.1686367]

>>1686329
>replying seriously
>in this thread

[Anonymous No.1686370]

What would you guys recommend for more on how to properly do character design and as >>1679125 said "visual communication"

[Anonymous No.1686394]

[Anonymous No.1686397]

>>1686394
Nico Minoru?

[Anonymous No.1686406]

Sometimes less is more OP.

Opt out of the rise of the eyebrow expression she's making. It looks childish (pixar often uses this expression on their movie covers)

You can still make her look confident and dark without it. Give her a simple but subtle expression,TONE down some gothic elements IE: skulls buckles buckles everywhere-- fishnet. Some is okay but not too much. Also be it helps to be consistent. The weapon she has for example seems futuristic maybe incorporate those elements into her outfit?

[Anonymous No.1686428]

[Anonymous No.1686431]

>>1678879
Honestly I like the design, I'm not saying it's good but I like it a lot.
I think Bloodrayne is the only game with a goth-ish chick as an protag so another one would be nice.

[Anonymous No.1686465]

In my opinion, If she is the main character she should not have a bland silhouette, try breaking it up more but adding stuff like cloth of fur like some of the paint over has added. You also use a lot of red, small hints of green might probably help to break it up more, but be careful not to over use it.

Another thing, if it is your art director that says it fine, it's better to accept it sometimes. Nothing wrong to object, but he has final word.

[Anonymous No.1686747]

>>1686465
this looks really awesome

[Anonymous No.1686928]

Ok, I went too far. But srsly how naked she needs to be? she seems to be wearing a cheap erotic hallloween costume tbh

[Anonymous No.1688587]

>>1679150
>Luna
Please don't. That name is so overused, then you've got ponyfags.

[Anonymous No.1688606]

>>1688587
The Greek equivalent is Selene, you could call her Selina.

[Anonymous No.1688610]

>>1688606
2catwoman

[Anonymous No.1688613]

>>1679150
Why not name her Tsukiko since that means moon child? It's a little more creative than luna.

[Anonymous No.1688615]

>>1688613
Too weeb.

[Anonymous No.1688649]

Well you guys, here's the latest designs, what do you think?

[Anonymous No.1688650]

>>1688649
Aren't these the same ones you posted on /v/?

[Anonymous No.1688653]

>>1688650

Yeah, I'm continuing the conversation here, since the /v/ thread is dead now.

I got the opinions of gamers from /v/, now I'd like to hear more technical critiques from the artists on /ic/.

[Anonymous No.1688654]

>>1688649
Still sticking to a mixup of either:
>top left with the jacket on top middle and top left's scythe
>Bottom center + right with scythe of top right
Stay far away from the middle row except for middle center, but if you're planning to do that, make sure the art style o fthe game reflects a similar aesthetic

And stay FAR away from bottom left

[Anonymous No.1688657]

>>1688649
Are you working on the ideas that /v/ purposed? I think the rollerskate idea was pretty good.

[Anonymous No.1688659]

>>1688653
Oh, yeah, completely forgot! What >>1688657
had mentioned was something I wanted to add in as well.
I dunno if you, the artist, have any bearing on the gameplay really, but something quite a fewpeople had mentioned that would be awesome would be rollerskates. In terms of design, it lends itself to punk pretty well (dunno if that's what you're going for) but in terms of gameplay, it can also add a Jet Set Radio-level of flow to it if done correctly. I know for a fact I'd love to play a flowing, fast-paced hack-and-slash with rollerblades.

Hell, you could even add racing elements and performing tricks during combat in there as well. And I don't know a single person who doesn't like Jet Set Radio.
/2cents

[Anonymous No.1688683]

>>1686928
do this op.

[Anonymous No.1688788]

>>1688649
Bottom right looks really good.

Top right and middle look interesting but they have too much earthy tones.

[Anonymous No.1688916]

Apart from the exposed thighs and knees, the top-middle one actually looks like something functional you could actually wear for demon slaying or whatever.

I like the whole middle row too. Kind of Giana Sisters, maybe?

Top-right looks like it's abandoned all pretension and gone full stripper. Depending on the style of the game, this may or may not be a bad thing. Still, I like it better than the original. Looks more... cohesive? Honest stripper clothes instead of stripper clothes pretending to be demon-slaying clothes. And the colour scheme's nicer. Yeah, this is actually pretty good.

Bottom-left looks too busy. Between the choker and the glasses and the bracelet and the picture on her shirt and the striped kneesocks, there's just too much stuff.

Something about the other one on bottom row says "NPC" to me. I'm not sure what. Also, what's with that skirt? Or is it the hem of her shirt? It looks like it only goes halfway down her ass, and the only reason her panties aren't visible is that she's kind of tilting her hips forward and arcing her torso back.

[Anonymous No.1688918]

It looks like some of those scythe designs have some kind of wheel where the blade meets the shaft. Does it pivot, or is it just visual filler? Because a scythe with a turning blade sounds like a much better weapon than an ordinary scythe. :)

[Anonymous No.1688920]

>this thread

[Anonymous No.1688921]

>>1688649
The bottom right one is really good, I would totally play a game with a character outfitted that coolly

[Anonymous No.1688922]

>>1688649

So you just ripped off all of Death Scythe's scythes?

[Anonymous No.1688968]

>>1688649
the top one with the pink outfit is really cute, please don't ever mix pink and red in outfits, like in the first design, it's the most horrible color combo. the nerdy one under her is cute too, she actually reminds me a lot of a girl i know, i think a lot of girls could identify with her. and the one in the white jacket is good but definitely isn't goth at all.

[Anonymous No.1688988]

>>1688968
pink and red is fine, it just has to be a cool red to match the pink

[Anonymous No.1689007]

>>1688968
>i think a lot of girls could identify with her
Nah, too trite.

[Anonymous No.1689017]

honestly, what do you think design is?
you think this is /fa/?

try to come up with more interesting cuts.

[Anonymous No.1689041]

>>1688649

Bottom left is a cutie but the drawing sort of sucks

pastel-punk, velmacore would appeal sort of both to ronrey neckbeards and horny old fujoshis

Go toward this aesthetic OP

[Anonymous No.1689077]

>>1688649
Last two are the best designs in there, but they don't really fit the story, which is shit itself.
Middle row and lower left are tumblerite/DA landwhales underage gamur womyn self inserts and I would rather bail out than work with such shit.
Top middle is as generic as the original.
Top right might work with a recolor.
You're in quite the predicament.

[Anonymous No.1689093]

>>1686329
There's a lot of issues to be had with this character design which have already been stated. However, the biggest one I have is the perpetuation of a scythe being used for combat but it's design is that of a guitar energy hybrid.

A combat scythe doesn't have guitar strings. You cannot bust out sick combo's with it and it's energy blade does not exist.

Albeit from Dark Souls, the image I attached is in a style that has nothing to do with what you are trying to accomplish. Some craftsman would make this blade, ignoring the absurdity of video game universes like this thing actually being some transformed sexy demon.

In terms of the ordeal involving black and it getting lost in combat, combat in games is nothing like real life. People jump around, destroy buildings, shoot guns for forever, but my autism wants it to look like retarded real life fights which are the dumbest looking poking contest ever.

[Anonymous No.1689098]

>>1678879
>Op got like a dozen people people to do a bunch of work for him that he'll get paid for.
>/ic/ doesn't hold your hand

[Anonymous No.1689217]

>>1678879
do something more neon-esc

[Anonymous No.1689300]

>>1689217
this is actually pretty cool. reminds me of jet set radio future.

where is this from?

[Anonymous No.1689606]

>>1689300
Inothing, madre it last night

[Anonymous No.1690103]

>>1689217
>>1689606

I haven't been back to this thread in a couple days, and i'm kinda surprised it's still in the front pages, but damn, if the actual character design was this one, I would actually be interested in playing it. The original reminds me way too much of my 2003 teenage goth phase, and i understand you're trying to hit a younger audience as well, but this hits the same audience just as well in my eyes and it's much more up to date and aesthetically pleasing.

[Anonymous No.1690144]

>>1690103
i too think this pic is the best one. it looks so much fun and stylish and the chick looks like an actual women and not just some bimbo

[Anonymous No.1691124]

>>1689093
>In terms of the ordeal involving black and it getting lost in combat, combat in games is nothing like real life. People jump around, destroy buildings, shoot guns for forever, but my autism wants it to look like retarded real life fights which are the dumbest looking poking contest ever.
you goddamn idiot, it's important if the colours accentuate the action. people will be looking at this game with their eyes.

[Anonymous No.1691127]

>>1688649
cover up/de-emphasize either cleavage or ass of bottom right(less is more) then it's great

[Anonymous No.1691134]

>>1678879
that design of scythe never actually existed and is generally stupid as fuck. only korean mmo-losers that have never designed anything original or interesting and losers that still think the grim reaper is cool like it.

[Anonymous No.1691142]

>>1691134
of course that design of scythe existed, it just wasn't a weapon.

and the grim reaper is cool, he's the personification of death.

[Anonymous No.1691183]

>>1686428
>>1686928

Damn. I really like those 2.

[Anonymous No.1691365]

>>1686928
dang, this one looks sweet, and a rockin' coat

[Anonymous No.1692074]

How do you guys feel about this direction?

[Anonymous No.1692076]

>>1689217

By the way, I want to add that this is really, really cool, and I really like this, particularly the scythe.

[Anonymous No.1692098]

>>1692074

Really fucking sweet. I love the white outfit

[Anonymous No.1692107]

>>1692074
She looks like a street whore, to be honest. Might be your intentions however.

[Anonymous No.1692137]

>>1692107
implying goths dont dress intentionally slutty

[Anonymous No.1692161]

>>1692074
Really great!

[Anonymous No.1692173]

>>1692074
It's pretty nice. Even somewhat functional by superhero costume standards. Sure, it's going for cleavage over armour class, but at least it stays on without glue and doesn't restrict movement.

Except the heels. I'd suggest axing the heels. :/

I'm getting kind of a The World Ends With You vibe from the hoodie. :)

[Anonymous No.1692194]

>>1692173
>Sure, it's going for cleavage over armour class,

slightly related: in a lot of games and movies where they show women wearing medieval armor you see them having some sort of metal bra as armor. in reality this wouldnt work because the whole point of the shape of the armor is to make the enemy sword slide away from your body. if you were wearing that metal bra and someone hit you with a sword then it would very likely slide towards your chest and injure you. that's why armor for women should look the same as armor for men

[Anonymous No.1692203]

>>1692194
What you've said isn't entirely accurate, but more so because of all the padding underneath said armour pretty much makes the female body androgynous + huge health hazard to have the armour protruding on your chest (falling on your chest can cause serious damage)

[Anonymous No.1692695]

>>1692074
make the jacket white again
cut out the beast head symbol from either the choker or the belts. it's overkill and doesn't feel organic

>>1692107
this. she looks like she's about to jump on a stripper pole. fishnet and garters?

i'm still not getting 'wannabe superhero with strong sense of justice' from either of these. indeed, i'm not getting any personality at all from either pose or design. she looks like a stoned hooker.

[Anonymous No.1692741]

>>1692074

>>1680453, >>1680576 Here:
I still think a visor or a mask will help better with the whole superhero thing. For the most part superheros keep their identity secret and a mask can help with that.

[Anonymous No.1692759]

>>1692741
Add just a smidge of neon green light up shit on the boots when she's running or her weapon and you're golden.

[Anonymous No.1693077]

>>1692695

I'm the OP, and I agree with you.

Currently, I'm trying to figure out how to give her an appearance that says more about her personality and identity. The themes of the game are "justice", "punishment", and "vigilantism". This character is a justice-loving, criminal-hating advocate of extreme corporal punishment and citizen vigilantism. However, I just don't know how to make this come across as clearly as possible in her design.

When you look at Captain America, you instantly know about his nationality and patriotism, just by looking at him. I would also like people to know exactly who my character is, just by looking at her. But, how to make her attire express her ideals and beliefs? How do you visually represent justice and crimefighting with clothing?

The first thing that comes to mind is making her dress up like an "extreme cop", but I definitely don't want her to look like a police officer. She doesn't intend on enforcing jusice through lawful means (and beyond that, she is a person who has lost faith in law enforcement).

What would you suggest? Anything besides a superhero mask?

[Anonymous No.1693079]

>>1688649
The bottom right. That's the perfect design.

[Anonymous No.1693087]

>>1689217
this is cool!
do you have a blog?

[Anonymous No.1693158]

>>1693077
>"justice",
Change the weapon from a scythe to something evocative of a scale - such as a staff weighted on both ends, or a glaive with triangular blades. You could also go for a hammer (gavel)
>"punishment",
Executioners are hooded, and the symbol for Justice is blindfolded. You may want to take this into account and partially or fully obscure her face.
>"vigilantism"
Vigilantes usually have limited resources and are cut off from a lot of luxuries and society, so it should show in her costume. Honestly, the whole thing should be a bit more austere. Give it a slightly improvised or handmade look, unless her origin story involves her stealing her costume from a discount sex store.

You may also want to consider a grey, black or white robe cast off before combat

[Anonymous No.1693165]

>>1678879
Hey man, this is fucking amazing. Would you be interested in creating the album art for my upcoming debut album? I was just looking for someone like you, so if you are interested please hit me up on faceb.

Here you can find the link to my fb:
>https://soundcloud.com/lazerpunk

This is the music I make btw:
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaiXx1CFDQY

[Anonymous No.1693166]

>>1693077
>just by looking at him.

or the fact that his name is a military rank and the name of a country.
captain america is not a clever design. you'd have to be an idiot to not get it.
whatever you are trying with that goth chick is on a different level.

>The themes of the game are "justice", "punishment", and "vigilantism".

this is really really generic and uninteresting.

i think that (visual) character design isn't your biggest problem. it's the whole story and stereotypical themes that make your game and character sound really boring. why would anyone be interested in another faceless superhero that is exactly like all the other faceless superheroes?
the scythe as a weapon is neither new nor original.
just take a look at bayonetta. she uses her fucking hair and revolver shoes as a weapons. also her whole design is pretty gud.
it's so mcuh more original than what you are trying to do.

[Anonymous No.1693183]

>>1693077
rather than thinking about themes, try to think about her personality.
like what does she want? what kind of taste in clothes does she have?

looking at her right now, she looks like a little punk that is trying to play a superhero. at least it looks like that to me.

now think about it: is the punk part of her design your taste or is it the characters preferred clothing style? like what kind of person is she? and what kind of clothes does she like?
how serious is she about justice? vigilantism? punishment?

[Anonymous No.1693314]

>>1693166

Hmm, I really don't feel like she's similar to most superheroes. Maybe that's just because I haven't listed a ton of details about her yet.

This girl is basically a complete failure at life. She's poor, got bad grades in school, can't make friends, and has to take degrading part-time jobs to pay her rent. She's an extremely paranoid person who is fearful and distrustful of strangers. She has an extremely strong fear of crime and criminals.

She would never say it out loud, because she knows how "edgy" it sounds, but secretly, she wishes she had the power to end the life of every human being who makes the world a dangerous or unpleasant place. She idolizes comic book superheroes, because they fight crime. Her favorite characters are anti-hero vigilantes who are willing to kill criminals.

Before she dies, she doesn't value her life, and she doesn't care if she dies. The reason is because she doesn't believe that she can be happy in a world filled with crime and evil.

After she dies and gets resurrected by a mysterious figure identifying himself as "Death", her personality changes a lot. She starts to value her life, because now she has the power to transform the world into a safe and peaceful place. She is introverted and withdrawn during the daytime, but she is confident and outspoken at nighttime, when her superpowers are active.

[Anonymous No.1693315]

>>1693314

(Continued)

She is so excited about being a crime-fighting vigilante that she puts on a costume when she goes hunting for criminals at night. "Death" does not give her armor, and she is not a master tailor, so her outfit does not look like something a superhero would wear. The purpose of her nighttime outfit is to help complete her personal "fantasy" of being a badass vigilante just like her favorite anti-heroes and femme fatales from comic books and video games.

Basically, she's a total loser who accidentally gets superpowers and tries to use them to shape the world into her ideal utopia using mass murder, while dressing up in a stereotypical costume because she's trying super hard to imitate her favorite characters. She's a complete opposite of the traditional superhero.

[Anonymous No.1693322]

>She's a complete opposite of the traditional superhero.

and yet manages to be a super stereotypical goth chick.

also the whole "normal person that starts fighting crime for personal reason" thing isn't original. nor is the fact that other superheroes inspired her. that's pretty much a big part of what watchmen is about. in fact watchmen had a lot more realistic scenario(with dr. manhatten being the only one who actually had superpowers). also the death having an apprentice thing isn't new either.
also kick-ass.

imo the whole concept is uninteresting but i wouldn't identify as your target audience anyway.

[Anonymous No.1693335]

>>1693322

>An idea has been done once, therefore, nobody can ever do it again, or put their own spin on it.

[Anonymous No.1693345]

Art and design aren't separate.

>This is less of an writing critique thread, and more of a plot critique thread.

[Anonymous No.1693450]

>>1678879
ehy, still working here

[Anonymous No.1693458]

>>1693335
that's not what i said. op does stereotypes the bad way.
you gotta do something to set yourself apart from all the generic shit but obviously that's not what op wants.
he will go for the generic character with the generic backstory and her generic motives and generic clothes while taking on generic themes and fighting off generic enemies.
it's like something a sexually confused 14 year old would come up with.

[Anonymous No.1693463]

>>1693314
>She's poor, got bad grades in school, can't make friends, and has to take degrading part-time jobs to pay her rent. She's an extremely paranoid person who is fearful and distrustful of strangers.

So... Rorschach? Wait, no, she has to die and get magic powers before she actually bothers to DO anything about the injustice in the world. I suppose she's the complete opposite of traditional superheroes in that traditional superheroes have an inflated sense of responsibility and take up heroing because they wouldn't be able to sleep at night if they didn't spend every waking hour helping the needy. Your character just kind of sits on her ass and angsts about things.

Except then she's touched by the Fae and basically becomes a traditional superhero. An emo teen by day, a mass murderer by night, she's cleaning up the city one severed artery at a time.

About as generic as superhero origin stories come.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Some story patterns get used over and over again because they WORK.

I don't like the "murderous antihero who murders a lot of people" angle, but if you seriously want to go that way, the very first design is actually kind of passable. You could add a permanent angry scowl (or a face-covering mask that looks like a permanent angry scowl), and make the clothes look more like liquid latex. Oh, and pouches.

The latest one, with the short-sleeved coat and the hood and the pink highlights looks more like an apathetic teenager who doesn't take this job seriously at all. Someone who plays video games, complains every time her boss sends her out to murder people, smokes black cigarettes and rolls her eyes a lot. Less grimdark and more whimsical.

[Anonymous No.1693758]

>>1689217
>>1693450

I really like your stuff, man.

I have to say, I really dig the way the scythe looks in the first image you drew. I love sleek, practical, and functional weapons. I think I see what look like hinges, for it to fold up - that's cool, because my vision of the scythe has always been something which can fold up into a compact form for easy and discrete transportation.

(Don't get me wrong, the second scythe looks badass, as well.)

I also had an idea that each level starts out with the character picking a song to listen to, and when she presses "Play" on her music device, we launch into gameplay. So, it's pretty cool to see an iPod incorporated into that second design you drew. I hadn't thought of actually making it part of her appearance.

I don't know if you're interested, but some people in the /v/ thread were really enthusiastic about the idea of giving her roller-blades that leave neon trails, and making the gameplay super fast-paced and high-energy; running on walls, grinding on rails, etc. I decided to mention it to you because I feel like you would probably enjoy drawing something like that.

[Anonymous No.1693786]

>>1693463
eww that comic!

reminds me so vividly of being a stupid smartass teenager.

[Anonymous No.1693788]

>>1693758
sounds a lot like a bayonetta/that one with the cheerleader who has a chainsaw

[Anonymous No.1693818]

>>1693335
Be original.
Don't cut and paste stories you've heard on to a character so support your design. A character should be able to stand alone without any real backstory. For example: Han Solo is a developed character when he is introduced with an attitude and real perspective on things. This allows for character development later on, and yet we really know nothing about him in the story. They could have easily have added some sob story about how Han doesn't believe in the force cause "his papa never came back". Thus where is character is going, character progression wise, just came naturally. By doing this a backstory will evolve, and you design will improve.

You should read The Hero with a Thousand Faces.

[Anonymous No.1693833]

>>1693788
>with the cheerleader who has a chainsaw
I think it was called "Lollipop Abortion" or "Suda's Finally Lost It"

[Anonymous No.1694728]

>>1678882

> mfw everything is "edgy" to faggots like you

[Anonymous No.1694736]

OP, your original design was still the best

All the other tryhard entries were just shit.

Dont fuck with perfection.

I like her outfit, boots, even the short hair works.

I would buy this game.. for sure. Even if it was a blatant 7/10 dmc clone.

Now weather you choose to listen to me , or these clueless faggots, is a choice i leave to you.

Protip: listen to me.

[Anonymous No.1694737]

>>1694736
>Now weather you choose to listen to this clueless faggot, or these clueless faggots, is a choice this clueless faggot leaves to you.

fixed that for you

[Anonymous No.1694738]

Also , you braindead dribblers have no clue about what looks "good".

Simple is always best. Why the fuck do you want to give her a cape , mask , robe, 5 different colours for everything, and then some try hard "fashion" shit ?

I bet youre all just trying to fuck it up for OP . He's going to end up with a pretentious forgettable design like bayonetta.

[Anonymous No.1694739]

>>1694737

yeah , nah , i'm right .

[Anonymous No.1694741]

>>1694738
bayonetta was pretty simple bro, a catsuit and some high-heels.

[Anonymous No.1694750]

Finally, these faggots just want change for the sake of change.

They are so "muh originality " "muh not edgy " they are willing to fuck up a perfectly good design, just cause it would be "not hipster enough"

the sort of faggots that made dante into pic related.

[Anonymous No.1694756]

>>1694741

bayonetta looked like shit . The guns looked stupid, the costume was shit , lanky proportions, no boobs, and some nigger hairstyle looks like a dick poking out of her head.

Pic related is a good character design .

Of course if it was posted on /ic/ today , you clowns would just scream "2edgy5me" and then proceed to draw her a headscarf , and an orange cape.

[Anonymous No.1694760]

>In her backstory, her parents were not paying any attention to her during her teen years, so she started dressing in outrageous fashions and dying her hair crazy colors to get their attention. It became a part of her identity, so even after she moved out of her parents' house, she kept a little bit of color in her hair and wears some goth fashion from time to time.


not even sure if you're trolling but you dont need a backstory for her hairstyle and clothes you fucking retard ...

[Anonymous No.1694761]

>In her backstory, her parents were not paying any attention to her during her teen years, so she started dressing in outrageous fashions and dying her hair crazy colors to get their attention. It became a part of her identity, so even after she moved out of her parents' house, she kept a little bit of color in her hair and wears some goth fashion from time to time.

[Anonymous No.1694762]

>people saying OPs design was fine
it's not fine at all, it's terrible.
and >>1692741 is way overkill.

you need to find a good balance between simple and complex areas. same with color, contour or stuff like amount of skin revealed.

this for example >>1694756 has a decent amount of skin revealed. the OP just makes her look like a stripper.

[Anonymous No.1694763]

Sounds like OP's boss found the thread and got incredibly buttmad.
>>1694750
That Dante is on par with OP's design. Deal with it, both are 2edy4u pasted together generic-as-fuck garbage,
>>1694756
>no boobs
>beehive is "nigger" hairdo
There aren't words to describe how hilarious your post is
>Lady
>edgy
You really are a fucking retard, Lady's design isn't even close to edgy.

[Anonymous No.1694771]

>>1694762

> i dont want to see scantily clad female protagonist, its not "realistic" !

fuck off please faggot.


>>1694763

> Im an expert on what is edgy

> look mum im using that word again! lol ! edgy 4 u 1!!!

> I know what is good taste ! u have to be unique never done before !!so original !!!!

> lol he said nigger omg dats so raysist !!!

go away you pest.

[Anonymous No.1694774]

>>1693165
>Lazerpunk

What, was Lazerhawk already taken?

[Anonymous No.1694778]

>>1694771
>I have no argument and so I will ridicule you for having one!
Think I'll stick around, your butthurt is especially delicious.

[Anonymous No.1694782]

>>1694778
no u

[Anonymous No.1694798]

>>1694771
>scantily clad female protagonist
no you retard, >>1694756 is scantily clad too and you don't see me complaining about them
or pic related, even though it's a bit ridiculous, i wouldn't complain about the skin either, because it get's the point across.

now OPs design on the other hand, ACTUALLY looks like a stripper/prostitute in theme, colors and general feel.
rather than "justice", "vigilantism" or "heroism", i'm mainly seeing a emo slut with a scythe

[Anonymous No.1694808]

>>1694798
you're either a very strange person or entirely lacking self awareness.

[Anonymous No.1694816]

>>1694808
no, it just means i have my perception and i stick to it.

i would describe >>1694798 with
-exhibitionism
-crazy
-tacticool
like i said, it's ridiculous but still interesting. so it's a decent design depending on what kind of game it'll be used for.

OPs design on the other hand is boring and not much else.
OP named a few themes and her backstory, but you can't see ANY of that in the design.
please, how would you describe OPs design?

[Anonymous No.1694882]

why the fuck would a poor person move out of her parents house? unless they were abusers or something(please don't).

>>1693077
>How do you visually represent justice and crimefighting with clothing?
either choose between 'making her look justicey', or 'show off more flesh than a meat market', because if you try to represent both the results will undoubtedly be similar to one of those sexy policewoman halloween costumes.

>>1693314
yeah, which is why for the 'day' picture, she looks like she just fell off a supermodel fashion shoot. this is totally believable as a failure at life, a poor person and an unpopular fuck-up. a woman with perfect hair, and immaculate fashionable clothes which fit perfectly and are so clean the white skirt is snowier than a tide commercial

give her unfitting clothes and cheap six-a-pack t-shirts and jeans because that's all she can afford to buy and washing things is too expensive and time consuming. give her bags under her eyes, give her a skitzy expression. give her tights holes and runs in them, ruffle her hair and streak it with grease from the chip fat machine she slaves over hours each week, give her boots scuffs because they're almost worn out she's pushing herself so thin, a big hooded parka she zips up tight and crams her hands in to shield herself from the world
chipped nail varnish, mismatching socks not even pulled up

just...give her clothing and her face at least -some- imperfections, some personality. it really comes off like you know what this character wants to be on paper, but you're afraid to make her look unattractive or 'unsexy' so it doesn't really fit.

[Anonymous No.1694893]

>>1694882


>mfw i read your autistic "story"

Nigger all you need to say is "her parents got killed by demons" and theres your story

[Anonymous No.1694895]

>>1694798

> emo slut


aww did someone have a crush on the emo/scene girls in high school , but wasnt cool enough to be with them ?

inb4 projecting


;_;

[Anonymous No.1694958]

I feel like you guys are only ridiculing her back-story because I gave you an oversimplified version of it. I'll tell you more, and then you can tell me if it still sounds ridiculous.

This chick is named Luna, and she has a sister named Stella. The names are symbolic; Luna means "Moon" in Latin, Stella means "Star" in Latin. Stella was a child prodigy; chess grandmaster, master of four instruments, wrote and published a best-selling novel, graduated college, performed surgery - all before the age of 12. Luna was never able to measure up to her little sister in any way, which left her with a horrible inferiority complex. As soon as Stella started pulling in tons of money and making the family famous by being a Mary Sue, her parents practically forgot that Luna existed. This is when Luna started desperately trying to do ANYTHING to get her parents' attention - causing trouble at school, wearing bizarre goth fashion, dying her hair crazy colors - but this only pushed her parents further away and made her an outcast at school as well. She feels angry toward her parents for treating her like she doesn't exist, so, despite her poverty, she moved out of the house as soon as she was legally able to, and she hasn't spoken to them since.

(continued in next post)

[Anonymous No.1694959]

>>1694958

At the point in time when the game begins, Luna has moved past the "I hate my parents!" stage of her life. She no longer dresses in full goth gear and no longer dyes her hair completely. However, after spending so many years of her life in that stage, it became part of her personal identity. That's why she still keeps a little bit of dye in her hair and wears gothic accessories from time to time; it's how she sees herself, even if her original reasons for dressing that way are long past.

None of this is explicitly shown or explained to the player at the start of the game. About halfway through the game, Stella shows up and becomes an important figure in the game, and that's when the player finally learns about the character's history.

[Anonymous No.1694963]

something darker

[Anonymous No.1694972]

>>1694959
>She no longer dresses in full goth gear

uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[Anonymous No.1694992]

>>1694963

Wow, I love these illustrations! This is much more in tune with my original vision of the character. I really love the attitude that her posture gives off in these drawings. I'm really, really digging this artwork. My favorite drawing here is the one at the bottom. it gives off a "cobbled together" vibe, and also a "tattered black cloak" vibe, so it hits the "servant of death" angle as well as the "impoverished vigilante" angle. I don't know how open you are to producing more artwork, but I would absolutely love to see you keep making illustrations of this girl.

>>1694972

Her "daytime" attire is more casual and inconspicuous, but her "nighttime" combat attire is more of a reflection of her personality, inner thoughts, and philosophy. A darker look definitely suits her at nighttime.

Also, keep in mind that anything (or everything) about her back-story can change, if enough people think it sounds like shit, or if I really really like a new design that conflicts with the old back-story.

[Anonymous No.1695000]

>>1688649

One form of generic to another. No improvement.

[Anonymous No.1695010]

>>1694963
>>1693450
>>1689217
Gonna need a blog, here.

[Anonymous No.1695042]

>>1695010
no blog, sorry, just a lame Dev profile http://liughe.deviantart.com/

[Anonymous No.1695161]

>>1694958
>>1694893
idgi, what does that have to do with my post

1694959
>you can tell me if it still sounds ridiculous.
you bet your fucking ass it sounds ridiculous. if only because a twelve year old chess grandmaster novelist who plays four instruments and likely suffers a horrible complex related to it sounds far more interesting a protagonist than a kill-happy everywoman emo

don't bother stating name symbolism. it is kind of blatantly obvious

if you're going to make stella a child prodigy, narrow her focus. child geniuses generally specialise, for example mozart. give her either instruments, writing, or early college. chess is a very cliched way of saying genius, and the 'surgery' thing is unrealistic, if only for the fact that medical school takes friggin ages to give you a license to practice and doesn't generally admit five year olds.

your description of her as a mary sue is also troubling. you should empathize with all your characters equally, not flippantly describe them as the pinnacle of bad writing. in fact, this whole thing you describe has the danger of becoming a black and white 'oh poor me my jerk genius sister and jerk parents hate me' thing where people exist just to hate the main character, boo hoo

how must it feel for stella to be under so much pressure at such a young age? surely she has the emotional mindset of a twelve year old. how must it feel for her, looking at her sister and knowing she's just better than her at things, and feeling awful about it? how does she feel about the subjects she's good at, does she love what she does and love sharing it with the world, or resent it? surely the sisters have shared some fun times. surely luna has felt proud of her lil sis at some point for all her accomplishments. given that their parents essentially ignored luna, they can't be great parents. maybe stella is envious that luna's age and anonymity allowed her free escape from them.

[Anonymous No.1695347]

>>1695161
that's a dude

[Anonymous No.1695372]

>>1695347
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Anonymous No.1695379]

>>1694992

youre just fucking clueless, no one wears "goth" dress because of wanting attention from "parents" lol..

its just a may-may between the more autistic posters, and if you say things like that irl , it just sounds cringe

[Anonymous No.1695383]

you done goofed OP

the only thing you will get out of this thread is one or two autists describing their favourite dream waifu, and trying to persuade you to draw something closer to her.

They will all say "emo" because their butthurt about emo girls.

So they will try to make her look like some "proper" cunt, like some dmc wannabe, so they can relate more.

[Anonymous No.1695400]

>>1678879
Several months ago your boss wanted me to model and texture this character for ~ $100. It was also clear that he had no idea what he was doing.

If you're working for this guy, then you need to rethink your life OP.

Pic related, it's OP's boss.

[Anonymous No.1695401]

>>1695400
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvT2pBi9IAc

kthen

[Anonymous No.1695402]

>>1695401
Well that's his google profile pic, anyway.

[Anonymous No.1695403]

>>1695402
I guess your point still stands then.

[Anonymous No.1695450]

>>1695400
A job's a job. If OP gets paid for it and doesn't have anything more profitable to do with his time, might as well draw some goth chicks.

Unless of course it's all a ruse, and OP is actually the boss, pretending to be an artist working for himself and trying to get /ic/ to do his job.

[Anonymous No.1695535]

>>1695400
wait, seriously?

[Anonymous No.1695601]

a bit lady gagaish

[Anonymous No.1695614]

>>1678882

Meh, my girlfriend would probably play it, if this we're true, but I've never seen a character design that consists of one drawing.

>>1678882
I've met an Italian chick who was 5'9, two thirds leg, the rest torso and head. Stop imagining fake faults. Humans actually come built like that.

[Anonymous No.1695622]

>>1695614
i don't think you have, that would be really freaky

[Anonymous No.1695651]

>>1695614
>I've met an Italian chick who was 5'9, two thirds leg, the rest torso and head.

>And she traveled with the circus and had lots of medical issues because all of her organs were crammed into such a tiny body cavity.

[Anonymous No.1695690]

>>1695614
>I've met an Italian chick who was 5'9, two thirds leg, the rest torso and head.
women have this thing known as 'accentuating or downplaying their body shape with clothes'.

[Anonymous No.1695696]

>>1695601

That's a super distinctive silhouette, and a cool-looking design, but it's not what I'm looking for... >>1694963 was much closer to the mark; it's closer to looking like real clothing or something that a person might actually wear.

[Anonymous No.1695721]

>>1695696
maybe is still too much unrealistic..meh

[Anonymous No.1695739]

>>1695721
I like it.

[YandereDev !W3WJP6pIt2 No.1695865]

>>1695721

I'm still digging >1694963 the most, but your artwork is still pretty damn awesome anyway.

The original was not too over-designed, not too cluttered. Simple and iconic. Makes me think that it was once another outfit, which was torn apart and then hastily put back together. I almost can't think of anything I want to change about it.

[Anonymous No.1695868]

>>1695721

I'm still digging >>1694963 the most, but your artwork is still pretty damn awesome anyway.

The original was not too over-designed, not too cluttered. Simple and iconic. Makes me think that it was once another outfit, which was torn apart and then hastily put back together. I almost can't think of anything I want to change about it.

[Anonymous No.1696229]

>>1695696
>it's not what I'm looking for
so commission him and specify or actually do the job you're being paid to do YOURSELF, you lazy piece of shit

[Anonymous No.1696240]

>>1696229
seconded.

[Anonymous No.1696881]

>>1695690
Most reasonable response. She was in shorts and a beater.

>>1695622
Yes. Yes it was. Also one of the hottest things I had ever seen. Imagining them wrapped around me